Starving Nanny
by Tardis-in-mordor
Summary: Living in New York and financially unstable following some unfortunate events, Clary Fray is the definition of a starving artist. Will her luck turn around when she becomes a nanny for Jace Herondale's five year old daughter?
1. Chapter 1

Clary hummed along to the pop song that played over the store's speakers as she worked on reorganizing a shelf of paintbrushes. The art supply store she worked at had been excruciatingly slow the past few weeks, and she found herself struggling to find odd jobs to do to keep herself busy. She had already cleaned every inch of the store and now she was working on organizing and rearranging all the merchandise. With the paintbrushes, she was meticulously organizing them by size, paint type, shape, and handle/bristle color, convincing herself it would make it easier for a customer to find whatever they were looking for. But she knew the chances of someone coming in and paying any attention to the organization of the paintbrushes were extremely low. In fact, the chances of more than a few people wandering into the store a day were low.

Business had been terrible lately, and there was talk about Magnus having to shut down the store. She had no idea what she was going to do if that happened and she was out of a job. Not only did the pay, as meager as it was, help her pay off her student loan debt, the generous employee discount Magnus offered helped her to be able to continue sketching and painting. Her rent had gone up, though, and she hadn't been able to afford any new supplies in a while. In fact, she hadn't even been able to afford rent recently and knew she was on the verge of getting evicted. She would be absolutely screwed if she lost this job.

After reshelving the last paintbrush, Clary stood up and wiped her hands on the loose fitting, second hand tan pants she was wearing. Their uniform was simple. All Magnus required was for them to wear tan or khaki pants, shirts that said "Bane's Art Supplies" on the back, and a nametag. All she'd had to supply on her own was the pants, and she was grateful for that. She wasn't sure if she'd have been able to afford buy much else when she'd gotten the job.

Turning around, she looked out the store's front windows and into the mall. There were crowds of people milling about, laughing and shopping. It was reaching the end of summer, and she saw quite a few teenagers hanging around, trying to enjoy their last few weeks of freedom. She was about to turn back around when something caught her eye. Standing away from all the people walking about was a little girl. Clary guessed she couldn't be around more than four or five. She had the most beautiful blonde curls she had ever seen on a child, and her crystal blue eyes were wide and filled with tears. She obviously looked scared, but nobody was paying her any attention.

"Hey, Maia," Clary called to the girl standing behind the register, "I'll be right back."

"Okay," Maia replied, her brown curls bouncing as she nodded, not looking up form whatever magazine currently had her attention.

Clary quickly exited the store and carefully approached the young girl. She knelt down in front of her, trying to be less intimidating, and smiled kindly. "Hi, my name's Clary, what's yours?" she said gently.

"Ceecee," the girl replied through tears.

"It's nice to meet you, Ceecee. Are you lost?" The girl nodded. "Do you know where your mommy or daddy are?"

"No," the girl sobbed, crying harder.

"Do you remember where you last saw them?" Clary pressed, hoping to get any sort of information out of her, but the girl just shook her head. Letting out a sigh, Clary stood up and offered the girl her hand. "Okay, why don't we go find someone who can help us?"

The girl tentatively took her hand, and Clary started to lead her through the throngs of people in the mall. She was going to take her to mall security, which was all the way on the other side of the building and didn't want to risk losing her.

"So, Ceecee," Clary started, knowing she could get Ceecee to calm down if she distracted her, "how old are you?"

"I'm five," she responded, grinning. The tears had finally stopped. "I get to go to big kid school soon."

"That's exciting! Do you know where you're going?"

The little girl nodded. "Idris Academy."

Clary's eyes widened. Idris was the most expensive private school in New York City. Whoever this girl's parents were, they were loaded. "Wow. That's a nice school. Are you going to a preschool now?"

"Nope. Ms. Graymark comes over and teaches me."

Clary almost scoffed. Of course this girl had a private tutor. She was speaking better than most five year olds Clary knew, and she was probably smarter than all them, too. Money definitely could buy you intelligence.

"What's your favorite subject?"

"Art. I love to color," she responded confidently.

Clary smiled at her. She loved it when young children had any sort of interest in art, even if it was just coloring. "Maybe your parents could bring you by the art store later and you can get some new crayons or pencils."

Ceecee grinned. "Oooh. I hope Daddy let's me."

 _I bet your father gives you whatever you ask for_ , Clary thought, internally rolling her eyes. She immediately berated herself for that, though. She shouldn't a five year old's financial status against her, especially since Ceecee seemed to be such a sweet child.

Clary turned down the hallway that lead to the security office and heard raised voices echoing down. As she got closer, she saw to men standing at the window, arguing with the woman behind the counter.

"All we're asking for is to look at your security tapes so I can see where she might have wandered off to," one of them said, pulling at his golden hair.

"I told you we can't do that sir," the woman said, clearly irritated.

"Mr. Herondale, I can call in Jordan and we can do a sweep," the other man said.

Before Blondie could reply, Ceecee drew their attention.

"Daddy!" she yelled, pulling her hand free from Clary's.

Both men turned around, and Clary's breath caught in her throat. The blonde man had to be the most attractive person she had ever seen. His golden hair was in a curly mess on top of his head, and it looked as if he had been running his hands through it. He was dressed in expensive looking suit pants and white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. From where she was standing, Clary thought his eyes looked almost golden, and his cheekbones looked like they could cut diamonds.

"Ceecee!" Clary watched as relief flooded the man's face. He squatted down and opened his arms, allowing his daughter to run into them. He picked her up and kissed her cheek. "You had me so scared. How did you get here?"

"Miss Clary brought me," she said, pointing in Clary's direction.

The God walking amongst humans looked at her, and she felt the heat rise in her cheeks. Clary gave him a tight smile and waved awkwardly. "Hi."

In a few strides, the man was standing in front of her. "Thank you so much," he said, balancing Ceecee in one arm and stretching out the other to shake her hand.

"It was no problem, really," she responded, shaking his hand. She felt a jolt of electricity from his touch, but figured she was just imagining things.

He smiled, and she noticed a small chip in one of his incisors. At least he wasn't completely flawless. "Don't be ridiculous." He took his hand back and fished through his right pants pocket. "Here." He handed her a business card. "If you ever need anything, just give me a call, and I'd be glad to help."

"Um, thanks." She took the business card from him, but didn't look at it. "I, uh, really need to get back to work." She turned to the small girl in his arm. "It was nice meeting you, Ceecee. Maybe I'll see you in the store one day, and I can help you pick out a real nice coloring book."

She turned to leave, and heard Ceecee wish her goodbye. Once she was out of sight of the two men, she crumpled up the business card and threw it in the trash. Whoever that guy was, she highly doubted he actually wanted her calling in any favors. Rich, businessmen like him didn't like to waste time with girls like her. And if they did, there was always a catch. Raphael had definitely taught her that.

The walk back to Bane's was a lot faster than the walk to the security office had been. However, she was surprised to see Magnus standing behind the register instead of Maia when she got back. His black hair was spiked up, and the tips were now dyed a vibrant blue. He was wearing a satin red button down and tight black skinny jeans.

"Hey, Magnus," she greeted. "Where's Maia?"

"I sent her home early," he said, his cat like eyes meeting her emerald ones. "I was hoping to talk to you."

Clary's stomached dropped. Was she in trouble. "O-Okay."

"I know you're in an especially tight situation financially, so I wanted to tell you before anyone else so you could get a head start, but I'm going to have to sell the store. It's just not bringing in enough money, and I really can't afford to keep the place running."

Clary's eyes widened, and she felt the panic begin to set in. "How long until you sell it?" she asked, her voice barley above a whisper.

"About a month. I'm really sorry, Clary, but you need to start looking for other employment."

* * *

Later that night, Clary sat across from Simon and Izzy at a table in Takis. It was a tradition for them to go to the diner every Wednesday night, and tonight was no exception, even though Clary was unsure if she would be able to afford the weekly dinners much longer. Izzy was talking excitedly about a new shipment of clothes that would be coming in next week to the high end boutique she worked at. Clary nodded along, not really paying attention to what was being said. She was staring down at her plate, pushing the food around absent-mindedly.

"Are you okay, Clare?" Simon asked, noticing her dejected mood.

She shrugged in response, looking up at them. "Magnus is selling the store."

"Shit," he sighed. "You're going to be out of a job?"

Clary nodded. Simon and Izzy knew she was struggling, but they didn't know just how badly. She never let them know, not wanting their handouts. "I don't have a lot of time to find a new one."

Simon touched a finger to his chin. "You know, Pandemonium is hiring right now."

Clary scoffed. Pandemonium was the club Simon worked security at, and it catered to a higher-class clientele. It was a place for New York's rich and famous to be able to hang out without worrying about being interrupted by mere mortals. "I'm not stripping, Simon."

He laughed at her. "No, no. It's a server's position. Someone just quit, and they need to fill the spot ASAP. In fact, you can with me to work after dinner and I can introduce you to the owner."

Clary hated it when her friends took pity on her and went out of their way to help her, but she wasn't exactly in a position to refuse right now. "Thanks, Simon." She forced a smile. "I really appreciate it."

"And if you don't want to work in some dingy club," Izzy butted in, "Alec's friend is looking for a nanny. I can get you in contact with him."

"A nanny?" Clary asked, incredulously.

"Hey, don't knock it just yet. Jace has been having a rough time finding a replacement for his old one. Plus he pays really well, and it's a live in position. You could be living in a nice pent house instead of that shit hole you call an apartment."

Clary rolled her eyes at her best friend. Izzy came from money, and didn't really know what it was like to struggle. She thought Clary was living in a seedy part of the city in a run down apartment because she _wanted_ to. But to be honest, getting out of that apartment sounded great. However, she didn't feel very qualified to be a nanny. It couldn't hurt to apply, though, could it?

"That'd be great, Iz."

Izzy smiled and clapped her hands. "Great. I'll call Jace when I get home and get you an interview."

They all finished eating, chatting about nothing in particular. When it was time to leave, Izzy said she was going straight home because she had to be at the boutique early the next day to open up. She kissed Simon goodbye and gave Clary a hug before disappearing.

Clary pulled on her coat before following Simon out of Takis. Even though it was August, the air still got chilly at night, and she shivered slightly as they stepped outside. Simon started off down the sidewalk with Clary in step next to him.

"How are you really doing?" he asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Clary groaned at him. "I'm fine. I promise."

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark-wash jeans. "You know Iz and I are always here for you right? Even if all you need is a place to stay."

"I told you I'm fine." Her tone was harsher than she meant it to be. "But I know. And I appreciate it," she said, her tone softer.

"Just don't be afraid to ask," he said as he turned down an alley leading to Pandemonium.

Clary could hear music blaring from inside the building before Simon even reached the employee entrance door. He typed a code into a keypad on the handle, and opened the door, motioning for Clary to enter before him. Clary had never been inside Pandemonium before, and was surprised to find it looked like any other club. There were booths and tables set up all over the place. There was a bar against the far wall and a dance floor in the middle. A few of the booths had stripper poles in the middle of the tables, and there were a few private rooms lining the wall opposite the bar. The club didn't appear to be too busy, though, but she figured that shouldn't be surprising for a Wednesday.

"Come on," Simon said, taking Clary's hand and leading her to the back of the club, past the bar.

He knocked on a door marked "Office," and a gruff voice told them to enter. Simon pushed the door open, and they walked in. Siting behind a wooden desk was a beast of a man. Clary could already tell he must be extremely tall, and he was still sitting down. He was well built, and Clary could see very defined muscles through his tight fitting black t-shirt. His brown hair was short, and there was a large scar on his right cheek.

"Hey, Bat," Simon said, "this is Clary. I was thinking she could take the open server's position."

Bat turned to look at Clary, his brown eyes scrutinizing her appearance. "We don't have a redhead on staff," he said thoughtfully. "That might be a nice touch. Do you have any experience."

"I, uh, used to wait tables through high school and college," she said, wringing her hands in front of her.

"That's more than most of the girls who have applied. Do you have a problem with the uniform?"

Clary gave him a confused look, and he reached into a desk drawer before throwing two pieces of clothing on the desk. She walked over and picked them up. In her hands were an extremely short pair of black leather shorts and a black crop top.

"I guess not," she responded. It definitely wasn't something she would normally wear, but if it meant getting a job she'd do it.

"And you're vouching for her, Lewis?" he asked, turning to Simon and raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, sir."

He looked back at Clary. "Alright. Go put that on. You're starting now. Helen will train you, and you can fill out the paperwork tomorrow."

Clary looked at him in shock. "Really?"

"Yes. Now go." He made a shooing gesture with his hands, and Simon and Clary immediately exited the office.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" she yelled, hugging Simon once they were in the hallway.

"Not a problem. Anything for you, Fray. Go change," he pointed to a bathroom, "and I'll introduce you to Helen."

She couldn't wipe the smile from her face. The amount of relief she felt at finding a new job was indescribable. And, she was going to be making two incomes for the next month. That would help her to save up a little emergency fund money.

As she was walking into the bathroom, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out to see a text from Izzy. _Interview with Jace tomorrow at noon._ She had attached directions to the location.

Even with just getting hired at Pandemonium, she figured she'd go to that interview the next day, too. The nanny job would definitely pay better than a server's job. She had a feeling her luck was finally starting to turn around.


	2. Chapter 2

Clary tucked the serving tray under her arm and pulled at the hem of her shorts as she walked back to the bar. The leather shorts were tight, but not tight enough to keep them from riding up as she walked around the club. Setting the tray on the bar, she let out a sigh, drawing Helen's attention to her. The bartender had ended up going home sick, which cut Clary's formal training short as Helen had to fill in. Clary had been thrown to the wolves, but she felt like she was handling herself pretty well.

Helen leaned across the bar, giving Clary an unsolicited view of her ample cleavage. "See that man over there?" she asked, pointing to a table in a secluded corner of the club.

Sitting alone at said table was a man who Clary could only describe as tall, dark, and mysterious. He was dressed in a pair of black jeans with a dark grey V-neck clinging to his upper body. He ran a hand through his onyx hair, as his dark eyes scanned the club. They stopped as the passed over the bar, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

"What about him?" Clary asked, returning her attention to Helen.

Her turquoise eyes sparkled. "That's Sebastian Verlac."

Clary quirked an eyebrow at her new coworker. "And?"

Helen shook her head, a few strands of wavy blonde hair falling into her face. "That man is the richest of the rich. He's pretty regular, comes in here almost every night. Also a very good tipper." She managed to lean a little more across the bar. "And a little birdy told me a certain redhead has caught his attention tonight."

Clary felt the heat rise to her cheeks. "Oh, uh, what do I do?"

"That blush of yours is going to get you far here, Clary," Helen said as she straightened up. She pulled down a glass, added a few ice cubes, and then poured in an amber brown liquid. "Scotch on the rocks is his favorite." She slid the glass over to her. "Just take it to him and introduce yourself."

She picked up the glass, the coolness of the drink contrasting greatly with the warmth of her fingers. Maneurving around the other patrons of the club, mainly men, Clary had the same thought she'd already had multiple times that night. How many of these men were like Raphael? They were dressed in designer clothes, their postures screaming power. A few of them were being entertained by strippers while others were chatting with women of a higher caliber. She wondered how many of them had girlfriends or wives waiting for them at home. How many of them would go home intoxicated and knock their significant others around a little just to prove that they could? Just to prove that they were as powerful as they looked?

She shook the thought away as she approached Sebastian's table. His dark eyes had been on her the entire time, and the smirk on his face widened as she reached him. She bent over to set his drink down, pulling her shoulders back to push her breasts forward just as Helen had shown her earlier in the night.

"Scotch on the rocks," she said. He nodded but continued to stare at her. It was a little unnerving, but she smiled through it. "I'm Clary."

He picked the glass off the table and took a sip. "Clary? Hm. That's a nice name, but it won't do."

"Excuse me?" She didn't even try to hide the surprise and slight offense in her tone.

"It's just not special enough."

"Special?"

"Special. I like to give all the girls here nicknames. And I think I have the perfect one for you, sweetheart."

Clary looked at him, waiting for an elaboration. When it didn't come, she guessed her wanted her to ask. "What is it?"

"Cherry," he said with a grin. "Because your hair is that delicious red, and you give me the sense that you can be quite sour if not ripened up enough."

"Cherry," she responded, forcing a smile. "I like it." That was a terrible, terrible lie. She hated that nickname. It sounded like something children on a playground would use to tease her. It also sounded like something one of the strippers would be named. At least if she had to stoop to that level one day, she'd already have a good stage name to use.

"I'm glad." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. "Thanks for the drink, Cherry." He winked at her has he handed over a few bills.

She glanced down, noticing he not only gave her the cash for the drinks, but an additional hundred-dollar bill. She looked back up at him, eyes wide. "A hundred bucks?"

"If you keep me happy, Cherry, there's more where that came from."

* * *

Clary slowly climbed the rickety stairs to her floor, the fluorescent lights flickering obnoxiously over head. Her feet ached, and she was exhausted. The only thing keeping her from collapsing was the prospect of her bed. Well, that, and the fact that if she fell asleep in the hallway she'd probably end up smelling like cigarettes, urine, and hopelessness, just like the carpet did.

She rummaged through her coat pocket, her hand brushing against a stack of folded bills, to find her keys. Approaching her door, she noticed a piece of pink paper taped to the front. In big, bold letters were the words eviction notice. She yanked it down, too tired to even worry about how long she had left.

Unlocking the door, she stepped into her tiny, one bedroom apartment. She relocked the door behind her before picking up a pile of mail off the floor. She threw the mail, along with the eviction notice, on to the counter. She didn't need to look through it to know what the envelopes contained. It was always the same. There would be bills. Letters about overdue medical bills. Letters about payment installments from funeral expenses. Letters about upcoming student loan payments. Any time an envelope came through that slot on her door, it was always someone asking for the money she owed. Money she didn't have at the moment. Money that, if tonight had been any indication, she would be closer to having in the future.

She walked straight to her bedroom and undressed. Without even brushing her teeth or putting pajamas on, she got into bed and fell asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

* * *

A hand roughly shoving her arm pulled her from one of the best night's sleep she'd had in months.

"Wake the fuck up, Clarissa," Isabelle's angry voice growled.

Clary flinched at the use of her full name. Only one person had used that on a somewhat regular basis, and it was never good when he had.

"Don't call me that," she groaned her into her pillow.

"I will call you whatever the fuck I want when you've been _lying_ to my face!"

Clary opened one eye and looked at her best friend. Izzy was standing next to her bed, her hands placed firmly on her hips, and fire burning in her dark blue eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"This," she seethed, removing one of her hands from her hip. Clary hadn't noticed the piece of pink paper in it earlier. "I come here, trying to be a good friend and help you get ready for a very important interview, only to find a goddamn eviction notice sitting on your counter."

"I just got it yesterday," Clary mumbled.

Izzy threw hands in the air. "That's not the point! The point is, you've been telling Simon and I that you're doing fine. Getting evicted is not fine! How could you keep this form us?"

Clary finally sat up, crossing her arms and staring her friend in the eye. "Because I don't want your pity, Isabelle."

The anger seemed to dissipate from her instantly, and she sat down next to her. "You won't get my pity, Clary. I know things have been hard for you lately. I just want to help."

"There!" Clary pointed at her friend. "I can see the pity in your eyes! 'Oh, poor Clary. Her mom dies and then her boyfriend kicks her out. She's really struggling right now. That poor thing is down on her luck. Just needs a little help and everything will be alright,'" she said, doing her best snooty voice.

"Speaking of, you should have fought Raph harder. That house was yours as much as his."

Clary rolled her eyes. This argument again. "His name was on the deed, Iz. Plus, when someone's yelling at you and calling you a gold-digging whore, the last thing you think of doing is asking for a house."

She sighed. "Whatever. On to more pressing issues. Your interview with Jace. Seems like landing this job just got a hell of a lot more important."

"I highly doubt I'll get it, Iz. I'm not exactly qualified to take care of some stranger's child."

"I dunno," her friend shrugged, inspecting her nails. "Jace is getting pretty desperate. Says he just can't find a good fit for his little angel."

"Oh, God. A good fit? Please tell me this kid isn't one of those spoiled brats who scares off anyone who even tries to have a role of authority of them."

Isabelle let out a laugh. "No, no. Celine is actually a very well behaved child. There's just a lot of applicants who are only applying to get to Jace. But I'm almost positive he'll see you're different."

"Let's hope so, or else I'm one hundred percent fucked, and not in a good way," she sighed, throwing off the bed covers. "I'm guessing your goal right now is to make sure I make a good impression?"

Izzy nodded enthusiastically. "Go shower so I can work my magic."

* * *

Clary stood in the tiny bathroom at the coffee shop, the smell of disinfectant and flowery aerosol spray assaulting her nostrils. She had arrived with a good half hour before interview, her nerves having caused her to show up earlier than what was usually socially acceptable. Not feeling like sitting around the shop for an extended period of time, she ducked into the bathroom to hide. She was down to the last ten minutes of her wait.

Staring at her reflection in the streaky mirror, she exhaled loudly. Looking the way she did, she thought she'd feel more confident. Izzy had really outdone herself this time. Her red hair fell in soft waves past her shoulders, and her make up covered all blemishes while managing to still look natural. Izzy had even brought her a brand new outfit as a "good luck gift." A sky blue button up shirt was tucked into a charcoal gray pencil skirt that clung to her curves, and a pair of black stilettos adorned her feet. She looked better than she had in years, but it wasn't doing anything to make her feel better.

There was so much riding on this job. Without it, she was going to have to hunt for a new place to live, and she was already living in the cheapest apartment she could find. She didn't even know who would take her with an eviction in her history. She had to make a good impression, and she had to land this position, but she wasn't sure some fancy outfit was going to make up for her lack of experience in childcare.

Taking one last look at herself, she gave herself a mini pep talk before leaving the bathroom to meet with the man who was about to decide her fate. She looked around the café, her eyes landing on a man sitting at a two-chaired table by himself. His back was to her, but something looked familiar about the golden locks of hair on his head. Judging by the expensive business suit he was wearing, she guessed that was her guy. Izzy had said something about the meeting being during Jace's lunch break. She took a deep breath and strode over to the table.

"Mr. Herondale?" she asked as she approached the man, trying to sound as sure of herself as possible.

The man turned to face her, and she nearly gasped as she recognized the honey colored eyes of the man before her. The same man she had met at the mall just the previous day.

"Clary?" he said, his brow furrowing. He seemed equally surprised. "Are you the Clarissa Fray who's applying to be my nanny?"

"Yeah," she replied lamely. "But this isn't me trying not cash in any favors. I honestly didn't know it was you."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Is that so? Because I thought you would have recognized my name from that business card I gave you."

She smiled sheepishly. "I, uh, might have thrown that away."

"And why would you do that?" he questioned as she sat down in the chair across from him.

She shrugged. "Didn't think you really wanted me to be calling you for any favors."

He clasped his hands on top of the laptop that sat in front of him. "I assure you, Miss Fray, I don't hand out my number to just anybody. If I didn't want you to use it, I would not have offered it."

She looked at him, slightly taken aback. "Oh, uh, that's good to know, I guess."

"Well," he cleared his throat, "how about we get this interview started." He opened the lid to his laptop and pressed a few keys. "Alec sent me a copy of your resume. I don't see any jobs in the childcare industry under your employment history."

"That's because I don't necessarily have any. But I did used to volunteer teaching art classes for children at the community center. Controlling a room full of twenty kids under the age of ten was a feat in itself."

"Hm," he nodded, his eyes scanning his screen. "I also see you attended NYU for three years but never completed a degree. Want to tell me about that?" He looked up, his golden orbs meeting her emerald ones.

"Oh." She was hoping he wouldn't ask about that. She found herself regretting putting that on her resume, but she figured some level of higher education was better than none. "My mom got really sick during my junior year. I ended up leaving to help take care of her."

"So you at least have experience in taking care of other humans, just not children?"

She nodded. "Yes. You could say that."

"That makes you a little more promising. Now, why did you apply for this job?" He put his elbows on the table and clasped his hands under his chin.

"The honest answer?" He gave her a slight nod. "I'm about to lose my job at Bane's because the store is closing. Izzy, being my best friend suggested I apply for this position. Now, if you had asked why I think I'm the person for the job, the answer would be that I've always enjoyed children and have felt like I've been oddly capable of handling them. I went into my first art class at the community center having never even babysat a day before in my life, yet I was able to control the classroom better than people who have worked their for years. And I formed a bond with a lot of the students there. I'm hoping I'd be able to form the same bond with your daughter, if given the chance. And after taking care of my mother, I know all about sticking to schedule, driving to and from appointments, running errands, making meals, cleaning, and keeping a person entertained. If you knew my mother, you would know she's not very different from a child on the inside."

When she finished her little speech, Jace continued to sit there just staring at her. There was something calculating in his eyes, and it was very unnerving. She fought the urge to fidget under his gaze as her train of thought ran wild. She was worried that she had said something wrong or just made a complete fool of herself.

His Rolex began to make a beeping noise, and he glanced down. "Well, Miss Fray, I have to get back to the office in order to make a meeting soon. Do you have any questions for me before I go?"

It was then that she realized she knew absolutely nothing about this man, and there was one question bubbling in her mind. "What exactly is it you do, Mr. Herondale?" she asked. She was curious as to why this man needed a nanny. He must do something very important and time consuming.

He cocked his head to the side. "You don't know?"

"Would I be asking if I did?" she countered and immediately internally cringed. She should not be giving him attitude if she wanted a job.

He didn't seem to mind, though, and let out a slight chuckle. "I'm a businessman. Let's leave it at that. I would suggest you do a little research on potential employers in the future." He glanced at his watch again. "I really must be going. It was nice to see you again. You've definitely given me a lot to think about." He pulled out another business card from his pants pocket and handed it to her. "If you have anymore questions, or don't hear from me within the next few days, give me a call. And I sincerely mean that, Miss Fray."

She took the card from him, smiling shyly. "Got it. Um, thanks for taking the time to meet me with me," she said, standing as he did.

"The pleasure was all mine," he responded, reaching out to shake her hand. She felt the same electric shock as the first time they had touched, but passed it off as a strange coincidence. "I'll be in touch."

* * *

Clary was handing empty glasses over to Helen, who was still covering the bartender, when Simon walked approached the bar. He was wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt with security written in bold, white letters on the back. She could see the plastic spiral of an earpiece hanging against his neck. He leaned against the bar and glanced between the two girls.

"Sebastian's in booth three. He's asking for someone named Cherry?" he said.

Helen let out a snicker as Clary sighed. "That's me," she groaned.

She could tell Simon was holding back a laugh. "Really? Cherry? Are you about to take a swing around one of those poles?"

"Shut it, Lewis," she growled, waiting for Helen to make Sebastian's usual. "He picked it, and if it means he keeps tipping me Benjamins, then I'll let him call me whatever the hell wants."

"I don't think he's going to be the only one calling you Cherry now."

She took the drink from Helen and turned to Simon, her eyes hard. "You call me that, and I'll kill you. Or worse, I'll convince Izzy to put a sex embargo on you."

He mock gasped at her. "You wouldn't."

"Don't test me, Lewis."

Drink in hand, she made her way to booth number three. Sebastian was sitting there by himself, and she wondered if he always came alone. Then she wondered why he would need an entire booth all to himself, and figured he must just be waiting for some friends.

She set the drink on the table, and he smiled at her. "You know, Cherry, those heels are much better than sneakers you were wearing last night."

Clary looked down at her feet. She had kept the stilettos from earlier on. Helen had advised her in putting more effort into her appearance, saying it would lead to better to tips.

"I'm glad you like them, Mr. Verlac," she said, trying her best to give him a flirty smile.

"Please, call me Sebastian."

"Okay, Sebastian. Is there anything else I can do for you right now?"

"Oh, Cherry, there's so much you could do for me. Sadly, none of it is within your job description, so I'll have to let you go tend to other customers. Here's something for your troubles."

Just like the previous night, he handed her enough for the drink and a hundred dollar bill. She took it from him happily, saying her thanks. She pushed down the slimy she had after interacting with him. She needed the money more than she needed to feel like a respected human being.

As she slid the bill into the back pocket of her shorts, she felt a vibration coming from her phone. Glancing around to make sure nobody was watching, she quickly pulled it out to check the screen. She was receiving an incoming call from an unknown number. Without giving it a second thought, she ducked into a quiet corner and pressed accept, hoping it was what she thought it was.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Clary? It's Jace Herondale," his honey smooth voice came over the speaker. "I'm sorry for the late call, but I wanted to let you know that I've made my decision. I'd like to hire you as Ceecee's nanny."


	3. Chapter 3

Clary took one last look around her dingy apartment as she placed the key on the cracked tile of the kitchen counter. The carpet might have been dirty and smelled like tobacco despite her never touching a cigarette before in her life, and the walls might have been stained a grimy yellow, and the hot water might not have always worked, but this apartment had been her home for the past few months. She knew it was run down and an absolute piece of shit, but it was still a place for her to call home, and she was going to miss it in an odd way.

She grabbed the handles of her two suitcases, which she had managed to shove all her belongings into, and left the apartment, making sure the door locked behind her. She walked down the dilapidated hallway, rolling her suitcases behind her. This was the last time she'd walk down this hallway. When she reached the stairs, she struggled to carry her luggage down with her. The plastic wheels clanged loudly against the wood of the stairs, and she hoped she wasn't disturbing anybody in the building.

When she finally made it outside, she retracted the handles on her bags and sat down on the steps in front of her building. She glanced at her watch, knowing that her ride would be there soon. Jace had told her he was sending someone over to pick her up on Monday at noon. Here she was, at 11:55, anxiously waiting for them to show up.

She had almost protested him sending someone, figuring she could easily get a cab, but then she had looked him up online and realized a driver was not something out of the ordinary for her new boss. Jace Herondale was not just any ordinary businessman. A quick Google search had led her to an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to the man. Not only was CEO of Herondale Pharmaceuticals, but he also dedicated a lot of time to doing pro bono work in the oncology department of the children's hospital. She had felt weird reading up on him on the internet, but justified it by comparing it to whatever extensive background check he no doubt ran on her before welcoming her into his home.

Clary had discovered a lot about him from the Wikipedia page and news articles she had read through. He had been born to Celine and Stephen Herondale. Celine had died of lung cancer when Jace was in his early teens. Stephen had been the one to start Herondale Pharmaceuticals and build it from the ground up. Jace had inherited the company at 24 when his father passed away from a heart attack. Clary had almost scoffed at that. She was 24 now, and nowhere close to being as rich and successful as he was.

There had been a lot of pictures of Jace with various women at different events he attended. However, she was never able to find anything about a wife, current of ex. In fact, she hadn't found much on Ceecee either. There were some photographs of her, and there were mentions of him having a daughter, but her name was never said and there wasn't anything about who her mother was. She had wondered how much he paid to keep that information private.

A large black Escalade with tinted windows pulled up to the curb, and Clary quickly stood up. A man stepped out from the driver's side and approached her. She recognized him as the other man who had been at the mall with Jace. She hadn't paid much attention to him then, but now took a moment to study him. He was definitely older with specks of gray sprinkled throughout his brown hair, and there were little crows feet at the corners of his blue eyes.

He gave her a warm smile as he walked up to her. "Miss Fray? I'm Luke Garroway. Jace sent me to retrieve you." He offered her his hand.

"Just call me Clary," she said as she took his hand and shook it.

He glanced at the two suitcases next to her. "Are those all you have?"

"Um, yeah." She awkwardly ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not one to collect a bunch of unnecessary possessions."

"There's nothing wrong with that," he laughed kindly as he picked up her luggage and put it into the trunk of the SUV. He came back to the front of the car, opening the passenger door and gesturing for her to enter.

She climbed into the seat, surprised to find the leather wasn't burning hot despite the high temperature of summer. She took a moment to look around as Luke walked to the driver's side. The interior of the car was just as dark as the outside. All the leather seats were black, as were the steering wheel and dashboard. The only color in the car came from a cliché pine tree shaped air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror.

Luke turned the key in the ignition, and the vehicle barely made a noise as the engine turned over. A blast of cold air from the AC hit Clary in the face and goosebumps rose on her arms. She welcomed the sensation, though. This summer had been hotter than usual, and she'd been stuck travelling on overcrowded subway cars. The air-conditioned SUV was a nice change of pace.

"So," Clary started, wanting to break the silence of the vehicle, "are you Mr. Herondale's chauffer or?"

Luke chuckled slightly and shook his head. "Not quite. I'm his head of security. Driving around just happens to be part of the job."

"Oh." She paused, trying to think of something else to ask. "What's it like to work for him?"

"There's no one I'd rather work for," he stated simply, not elaborating.

Clary nodded, realizing Luke must not be a man of many words. She didn't want to have to continue to force conversation, so she kept her mouth shut and looked out the window. The scenery quickly changed from run down and neglected buildings to tall skyscrapers and apartment complexes.

Luke swiftly turned into a parking garage, and Clary barely caught a glance of the sign on the building: Alicante Apartments. He expertly pulled into an open parking space, and Clary looked at all the other cars in the garage. BMWs, Mercedes, Audis, Porches, and other kinds of luxury vehicles occupied the other parking spots.

She had been too busy focusing on the other vehicles to notice Luke had gotten out, and was startled when he suddenly opened her door for her. She mumbled a thanks as she climbed out, and she saw that he had also already grabbed her bags from the back. He led her to an elevator and pressed the down button. The shiny metal doors slid open to reveal a marbled floor and mirrored walls inside.

"You're going to get a code," Luke said as he punched a few buttons on a keypad. "It'll take you straight to the penthouse. You are not to share the code with anybody for any reason, understand?"

She nodded. "What if someone doesn't have a code?" she asked as the elevator started to ascend.

"They call up. Jace either gives them access or comes down to get them."

She nodded again, staring at her reflection in the back of the elevator doors. She had put on a sundress today, trying to look more presentable. Most of her clothing consisted of ratty jeans and t-shirts. Even this dress was a cheap, thin cotton one that she had bought of a clearance rack of some department store. She felt very out of place. A girl like her didn't belong in building like this surrounded by people like Jace Herondale. If Raphael hadn't made that obvious enough to her, she was surely realizing it now. She suddenly found herself questioning the decision to apply to this job, and wondering why she had been chosen out of all the candidates who applied.

The doors to the elevator opened, and Clary held back a gasp at the sight before her. The doors opened into the foyer of the penthouse, and the first thing she saw was the ceiling to floor windows that gave a beautiful view of the city. There was a baby grand piano sitting right in front of the window, looking out.

To the right was a living room, with chocolate colored furniture arranged to face a large flat screen television. The floors were a rich mahogany wood, and the walls were a soft cream color. To the left was a kitchen, and from what she could see, it had mainly stainless steel appliances.

"I'm going to take these to your room, Jace will be right out," Luke said, disappearing down a hallway off of the living room.

She was still looking around the apartment in awe when she heard what sounded like footsteps coming down a staircase. Jace walked around a corner next to the kitchen, his hands in the pockets of suit pants and a smile on his face. "Miss Fray, glad you're here."

She smiled shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You can just call me Clary."

"Well, Clary, why don't I give you a quick tour, and then we can go over expectations in my office?"

"Sounds good."

He led her around the corner from which he appeared and up a set of wooden staircases. The second floor only contained three rooms. The one at the far end of the hall was the master bedroom. On the right side of the hall was his home office, and on the left side was the gym. Jace told her that he liked to think of the second floor as his own space, but that if she ever needed anything not to hesitate to go up there.

He took her back down the stairs and into the kitchen. Clary had been right in assuming everything was stainless steel, from the dishwasher to the fridge to the sink. However, she was not expecting the dark granite countertops. Jace told her that he had a cook, Imogen, who worked during the week, and that she could make her whatever she wanted.

He then led her past the living and down the hall where Luke had disappeared. There were more rooms down here than on the second floor. There were two guest bedrooms, a bathroom, CeeCee's room, and her room. They stopped outside of CeeCee's door, which was at the end on the left. Clary smiled at the wooden, purple crown that hung on the door with CeeCee's name written in gold glitter glue. Jace let her know that he had just put her down for her afternoon nap, but that she would be awake soon.

Across from CeeCee's room was where Clary would be staying.

"I had someone redecorate it, but if you don't like it, we can always change it," Jace said as they stood outside her door. Clary thought that he almost seemed a bit nervous. She didn't know why, though. To her, as long as she had a place to sleep, she was happy.

Jace turned the handle and opened the door, and this time Clary did let a small gasp escape. The room itself was probably almost as big as her old apartment. There was a queen-sized bed in the middle, decorated with a seafoam green comforter and a plethora of pillows. The walls were a very light blue, and the plush carpet was an off white color. A pair of matching seafoam green drapes were tied back to let in sunshine from a glass sliding door that led to her own balcony. Against the back wall was a large wooden desk with a spinney chair. There was an ensuite bathroom, as well as a walk in closet across from the bed.

"Do you like it?" Jace asked. She nodded, not trusting her voice. The room was way more than what she had expected. He let out a chuckle. "Good. Let's go back up to my office and talk business."

She followed him back through the living room and up the stairs to his office. In the middle of the room was a dark cherry wood desk with a brown leather chair behind it. On the other side were two plush, deep red armchairs. The walls were painted a gray-beige color, and the floor was covered in an off white carpet similar to her bedroom. A cherry wood bookshelf covered the left wall, and the far wall had another floor to ceiling window. A pair of reddish brown drapes hung off to the sides of the glass. The right wall contained various awards and newspaper clippings, and she smiled at the drawing of flowes, obviously done by Ceecee, that hung amidst them.

Jace sat down in the leather chair and gestured for Clary to sit across from him. As she took her seat, he opened one of the top drawers of the desk and pulled out a stack of papers.

"First, I need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement," he said, sliding a piece of paper and a pen over to her. "I like to keep my private life private, and need to know you won't go leaking anything to the tabloids or gossips mags."

She quickly skimmed over the paper in front of her and signed on the dotted line. She passed the NDA back over to him, and he put it aside.

"Alright, now let's go over expectations." He handed her a few pages stapled together. It was a list of responsibilities and rules. "Obviously, your job is to take care of CeeCee. I often find myself occupied with work, and am not always capable of giving her the attention and care she needs. You will on the job during the week. Weekends you will always have off. Every other week you will have to take CeeCee to her mother's on Friday afternoons, picking her up on Sundays. Once school starts, it will be your responsibility to take her to and from Idris Academy. I have included her schedule in the packet I gave you. It's on the last page."

Clary turned to last page and looked over the schedule. CeeCee had lessons from piano to dance to Spanish all throughout the week. She wondered how the poor girl managed with all of that being thrown at her at such a young age. There were also some weekly play dates thrown in, which Clary thought was nice.

"I have listed the time and location of each appointment she has. You will take her to and from the ones that are not held here. The teachers have access codes to the penthouse, so you don't have to worry about letting them in." He opened another drawer and set a pair of keys on the desk. "These are for the Lincoln Continental. It already has a carseat and everything in the back. It's what you will drive while working for me. I will also have security detail assigned to you while Luke is out with me. Jordan may drive you instead, if he feels like it's the best option."

"You're going to trust me to drive your child around?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He smiled at her, cocking his head to the side. "I ran an extensive background check on you, Clary. You have a very clean driving record. If this for some reason changes, I will have Jordan drive you all the time instead."

She nodded. "So, what do I do during the time when she's not in school or some sort lesson or whatever?"

He shrugged. "Just keep an eye on her. Make sure she's eating, sleeping, bathing, brushing her teeth, keeping her room clean. Don't allow her to eat junk food. Imogen will make her meals during the week, and you shouldn't stray from that. Her bedtime and wake up times are listed on the schedule. Don't let her stay up past her bedtime or sleep in."

Clary internally rolled her eyes. He seemed a bit controlling toward his daughter. She guessed he just wanted to make sure she was healthy and taken care of, but he seemed to take it too far. However, she didn't have the best point of reference. Jocelyn had been more of a free spirit and a hands off parent. She had let Clary make her own mistakes and learn from them, letting her experience tummy aches from too many sweets and exhaustion from staying up too late.

Jace once again reached into a drawer. This time he pulled out a black credit card and handed it to her. "You may also take CeeCee shopping if she wishes. Charge it all to this card. She's going to need to go school shopping soon, and I figure it might be better if you take her, knowing a girl's mind better and all that."

Clary looked down at the black AmEx in her hand. She probably wasn't the best option for taking CeeCee school shopping. Growing up, she hadn't been as impoverished as she currently was, but her and her mother weren't rich by any means. They were extremely middle class, and most of her school shopping had been done at Wal-Mart. She had no idea what kind of stores this five year old liked to shop at.

Jace leaned back in his chair, lacing his hands behind his head. "Now, do you have any questions for me?"

"What happened to whoever was working before me?" she asked, The question was one that had been on her mind for awhile.

"Let's just say she began to lack a certain level of professionalism."

Clary almost laughed. The girl had probably tried to move from nanny territory into mommy or fuckbuddy territory with Jace.

"Why did you pick me? Out of everyone that applied? I'm sure there were people far more qualified."

He removed his hands from behind his head and leaned forward. "There were, you're not wrong about that. However, you seemed to be the most real."

"The most real?"

"So many of the people who applied were doing it to climb a social latter, and it was obvious. They were hoping that by working for me they could make some nice connections with other businesspeople in New York. Others were hoping to just get closer to me. Not you, though."

She was about to respond when a small knock came from the door. The door was slowly pushed open to reveal CeeCee standing in the hallway. Her eyes landing on Clary and immediately widened. "Miss Clary!" she yelled, running over and throwing her tiny arms around her. Clary stiffened at the unexpected contact. "You're here!"

Jace chuckled and smiled fondly at his daughter. "She might have also played a role in the decision. She hasn't stopped talking about you since that day at the mall, always asking when we were going to visit you. I figured you'd be a good choice, considering she's already so taken with you." The phone on his desk rang, and he looked at his daughter. "CeeCee, why don't you go show Clary your room and your toys?"

CeeCee beamed and grabbed Clary's hand. "Come on!"

Clary got out of the chair as she tugged on her, and followed her out of the room as Jace answered the phone. For the short walk to her room, CeeCee talked excitedly about how glad she was to have Clary has her nanny. She mentioned that her last one wasn't that nice, but that she thought Clary was very nice.

CeeCee's room was even larger than Clary's, not that she was very surprised by that. She had a beautiful white wood canopy bed with flowing ivory curtains handing down. The carpet was a soft purple and the walls were light pink. One of the walls had a picture of a castle with Disney princess standing outside of it painted on. The other walls were lined with shelves, which were filled with picture books, board games, stuffed animals, and other toys. Clary noticed two doors, and wondered if she also had a bathroom in her room. However, CeeCee opened one of the doors to reveal a closet-type room full of more toys.

CeeCee started to pull items from the closet, the first one being the newest version of a Barbie Dreamhouse. She proceeded to pull out various dolls, clothing, and accessories, which included a few Barbie sized vehicles. She laid all the toys out on the floor and looked up expectantly at Clary.

"Are you ready to play?" she asked.

Clary sat down across from her on the floor and picked up one of the dolls. She guessed her new job was starting right now.

* * *

 **I meant to update earlier but got my wisdom teeth removed and was disposed of for a few days. Anyway, hope you enjoy the update. More drama and such will happen soon, but the beginning is a little bit of a slow burn to build the foundation.**


	4. Chapter 4

Clary smiled and held back a laugh as CeeCee entered the living room. Clary had given her the freedom of dressing herself for their day out school shopping, and CeeCee definitely took the task in stride. She was dressed in a Mini Mouse-esque red skirt with white polka dots paired with a clashing lavender t-shirt. For shoes, she wore a white tennis shoe on her left foot and black on her right. The only thing that matched was the pair of white frilly socks she had.

"Miss Clary, will you please give me a ponytail?" she asked, holding out a brush with a hair tie wrapped around the handle.

"Of course, sweetie," Clary responded, kneeling down and gesturing for the girl to turn around. The brush ran easily through her blonde locks as Clary gathered the strands higher up on her head before wrapping the elastic tie around them.

Just as Clary gave CeeCee's ponytail one final tug to tighten it, she heard the doors to the elevator open followed by the sound of clicking heels on the wooden floor. She quickly stood up, her brow furrowed in confusion. CeeCee didn't have any lessons until later in the afternoon, and she didn't know who would be showing up to the penthouse at this time.

She turned around and was met with a pair of icy blue eyes glaring at her. They belonged to a tall, slender woman with pin-straight blonde hair that fell down her back. A skin-tight white dress clung to her body, revealing an ample amount of cleavage and showing off her toned, tan legs. She was wearing those red-bottomed shoes that Clary knew were designer and insanely expensive. A distraught looking Jordan was standing behind her.

"Who are you?" Clary asked, standing up a little straighter.

The woman scoffed, her blue eyes somehow becoming even colder. "I'm Celine's mother, Kaelie. I'm guessing you're the new tramp Jace hired to watch after my daughter?"

"Excuse me?"

Kaelie ignored her, looking behind her at CeeCee. "Celine, darling, what are you wearing?"

CeeCee beamed, grabbed the edges of her skirt, and moved slightly side to side. "Miss Clary let me pick my clothes today, Mommy."

"Well, you look absolutely ridiculous. I will not allow you to go out in public dressed like that."

The little girl looked like she was about to burst into tears, and Clary quickly intervened. "Hey, CeeCee, why don't you go play in your room for a little bit while Mommy and I talk?"

CeeCee nodded before running off down the hallway. Clary could have sworn she saw a few tears start to make their way down her cheeks as she went, and her heart broke a little.

Before Clary could say anything, Jordan spoke up. "Miss Whitewillow, you really aren't supposed to be here without Mr. Herondale being present."

He stuttered slightly, and Clary knew he must be nervous. They had sort of a bonding moment that morning over breakfast. He confided in her that he was also new, and that he was extremely worried about messing up as part of Jace's security team. He thought he was too young for the job, barely over twenty-two, however, Luke had known him for years and believed he would be great for the job. In the short amount of time Clary had known him, she had really grown to like him. He was cute, in a rocker kind of way with curly brown hair falling in his face, and his hazel-green eyes always seemed to sparkle with kindness. She also knew he was not a force to be reckoned with, though. He was extremely tall and muscular, and she would not want to be on his bad side.

Kaelie turned her attention to him, her red painted lips forming a sneer. "Shut up before I send you back to whatever sewer you crawled out of."

That was the last straw for Clary. Jordan had been nothing but kind to her, and he did not deserve that kind of attitude. "Hey!" she called, drawing Kaelie's attention. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"My problem is that Jace keeps hiring a parade of whores like you who are just trying to hop on his dick and are using our daughter to get there. I can't stand to see what all you hussies do to my daughter, like letting her dress herself. I forbid you from letting my daughter make a fool of herself in public. She has a reputation to uphold."

Clary narrowed her eyes at her, and took a step forward. She stood up straight, even though she was still a good six inches shorter than Kaelie, and placed her hands on her hips. "Listen to me, and listen well, Miss Whitewillow. First, I work for Jace, not you. I don't give a shit how you raise your daughter on your weekends with her, but I'm not following those rules. I follow the rules given to me by my boss. Second, how dare you insult your daughter like that? CeeCee's _five_ years old!" She threw her hands in the air. "She needs you to support her, not tear her down. If you continue to talk to her like that, she's going to have some serious fucking issues down the road. Third, don't you ever, and I mean _ever_ talk to Jordan like you just did. I don't give a fuck who you are or how 'influential' you think you are, he does not deserve your disrespect. Finally, don't talk to me like you just did. I'm here to help take care of CeeCee, not fuck your ex. Not that it's any of your goddamn business anyway."

Kaelie suddenly reached out and smacked her across the face. Clary's hand flew up to her cheek, where a sharp pain began to radiate. She stared at Kaelie in disbelief.

"You better watch yourself," Kaelie seethed, "or I will have you out on the streets like that." She snapped her fingers in the air.

Jordan stepped toward Kaelie and grabbed her by the elbow. "It's time for you to leave, Miss Whitewillow."He sounded more sure of himself this time, and he began to pull her toward the elevator.

"Jace _will_ be hearing about this," Kaelie said over her shoulder as Jordan gently pushed her into the elevator.

Clary ran a shaky hand through her hair and tried to calm her racing pulse. Confrontations always made her adrenaline spike, and she was really feeling it after this one. She knew she probably shouldn't have confronted the mother of Jace's child like that, but something in her snapped. She couldn't handle the way she was talking to everyone, especially her own daughter. After taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she went to go check on CeeCee.

She found her in her closet, throwing clothes around and sifting through hangers. Her blue eyes were red and snot ran down from her nose, obvious signs that she had been crying. Clary crouched down and gently turned CeeCee to face her. She wiped away a few stray tears from her cheeks with her thumbs.

"Hey, sweetie, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Mommy said I look bad. I need to change."

Clary frowned. "Well, I think you look beautiful today, CeeCee. I would really love it if you kept that outfit on."

"But Mommy said-"

"I know what Mommy said. She was being mean. I really think you look fabulous in the clothes you chose."

"You do?" CeeCee sniffled.

"I do," Clary nodded. "Why don't we get your face cleaned up, and then we can go shopping?"

* * *

Clary held CeeCee's hand as they walked into Staples together. They had gone to the high-end department stores like Bloomingdale's and Barneys to buy new clothes, but Clary had no idea where to take her for supply shopping. She knew Staples was a "commoner's" store, but she figured it was a safe bet. At least she was sure they could get everything they needed there.

"What do you want to look at first, CeeCee?" Clary asked as they started to wander farther into the store.

"Backpacks!" she exclaimed, pulling Clary toward the back wall lined with bags.

Clary pulled down a Disney princess backpack and showed it to her. "What about this one? It'll match your room."

CeeCee shook her head vigorously. "Princesses are lame. I want that one!" She pointed to a dark green one on a hook too high for her to reach. The backpack was similar to the princess one Clary held, but instead of girls in pretty dresses, it had turtles in different colored masks.

Clary put the Disney one back and pulled down the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle one CeeCee wanted. "Ninja Turtles? Are you sure?"

CeeCee nodded, taking the bag from her. "They're so cool! We watched it at Johnny's house."

"Alright, if it's what you want," Clary responded. She then grabbed a matching lunchbox from the wall. "Do you want this to go with it?"

CeeCee grinned at her. "Yes, please. And can we get ninja turtle notebooks and pencils?"

Clary laughed at her excitement. "We can get whatever you want, sweetie."

"Can I tell you a secret, Miss Clary?"

"You sure can."

"I want to change my room to be ninja turtles but I'm afraid to ask Daddy."

The corners of Clary's mouth turned down. "Why's that?"

"I don't want him to get mad because it's not girly."

"I'm sure he won't get mad. I can talk to him if you want?"

"Please ask him!"

"You'll have to ask him, sweetie. But I'll talk to him to convince him to say yes."

"Thank you, Miss Clary!"

"Anything for you, sweetie. Now, let's go look at notebooks."

They headed down an aisle of paper and notebooks. CeeCee excitedly picked up one of every TMNT notebook they carried. She also picked out matching folders, pencils, and a pencil bag. They had to settle for a normal sharpener and ruler, though.

As they were checking out, Clary heard someone call out behind her.

"Cherry?" a familiar voice said.

Clary turned around to see Sebastian standing a few feet behind her. "Uh, hi, Sebastian?" she greeted, though it came out sounding more like a question. Out of all the places to run into him, she never thought a store like Staples would be one. She found the whole situation to be weird.

"Funny running into you here," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, it is."

"Who's this little princess?" he asked, looking at CeeCee who was standing next to her. Clary didn't like the calculating, almost predatorial, expression on his face.

"I'm CeeCee!" the little girl exclaimed happily.

"She's beautiful." He turned his attention back to Clary. "Is she yours?"

"No." Before he could ask any more questions, she said, "Listen, it was nice seeing you, but I really need to get her home in time for piano lessons."

"Will I be seeing you at Pandemonium later?"

She shook her head. "I'm only working weekends as of right now. I have other commitments during the week." She had talked to Bat after getting hired by Jace and asked if she could work just weekends. She easily could have quit the serving job now, but she figured she'd keep it. Any extra money she made she could put aside for when her time with Jace came to an end.

Clary grabbed their bags off the counter and took CeeCee by the hand, leaving without waiting for a response from Sebastian. She led CeeCee to the car where Jordan was waiting for them. She hadn't felt like driving today, and she was glad about her decision after the odd encounter with Sebastian.

"Are you okay?" Jordan asked as she quickly buckled CeeCee into her car seat.

"Yeah. Just ran into an old acquaintance. A little caught off guard is all," she replied, sliding into the backseat. "We should go home now. I want to give her plenty of time to get ready for piano."

"Of course, Miss Fray." Jordan responded, looking at her in the review mirror.

* * *

Clary sat on the couch in the living room, her knees drawn up and a sketchpad resting on her thighs. It had been part of a goodbye/congratulations gift that Magnus had given her upon news of her new job. Along with sketchpad, she had received new pencils, a few canvases, and a watercolor pallete. He said he didn't want her to lose her "artistic touch" while no longer working in an art store.

She moved her pencil across the paper, trying to finish the sketch she had started earlier of CeeCee during her piano lesson. Clary had loved how concentrated and determined she had looked as her fingers played simple tunes like "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Mary Had a Little Lamb." She also loved the way she beamed when her instructor had told her she did a wonderful job.

Clary flipped the pencil around and erased the last few marks she had made. She was struggling to get CeeCee's expression just right. She wished she had worked on that during the actual lesson instead of trying to recreate if rom memory now, when CeeCee was tucked snuggly in bed and sleeping.

Sighing, she flipped her pencil back over and tried again. She made quick of her eyes, drawing them looking down at the keys and slightly squinted. The nose was already done, and she had left it alone, so she moved on to the mouth, which was giving her the most trouble. She drew her lips in a straight line, with her small tongue peeking out of the left corner. The drawing wasn't perfect by any means, but she felt it was better than before.

After having everything outlined and drawn, Clary moved onto shading to give it some dimension. As she was finishing the shading, she heard someone enter the foyer, and looked up to see Jace. She watched as he set his briefcase down on the kitchen counter before removing his suit jacket and setting it on top.

He turned and caught her eye, causing her to flush at the fact she had been caught staring.

"Um, hi," she said lamely, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Hey," he said, walking toward the couch. "It's pretty late. Why are you still up?"

She shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. Always been more of a night owl."

He sat down on the coffee table in front of the couch, exhaling loudly. "I know what you mean."

"Must be pretty use to late nights at the office, huh?"

One side of his mouth quirked up. "Yeah. So, I got an interesting call from Kaelie today."

Clary stilled her hand, turning her face to look at him. "Look, Mr. Herondale, I'm really sorry. She was just so-"

He put a hand up, signaling for her to stop. "I know exactly how she is, and you don't need to worry. Honestly, I'm surprised you'd be the one to put her in her place." He cocked his head to the side as he looked at her, and moved his hand out toward her face. He ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek, and her heart almost stopped at the physical contact. "There's a bruise. Did she do this?"

"It's nothing," she responded, removing his hand despite the fact that she liked the way his touch felt. It really was nothing, though. She had experienced much worse during her time with Raphael. "I have really fair skin and bruise easily, you know?"

He nodded, but she could see there was a tension resting in his jaw. "If she lays a hand on you again, let me know. I put up with a lot of her bullshit, but I won't stand for her to act out violently."

"O-Okay," she stuttered.

His eyes moved away from her face and travelled down her torso, stopping at the sketchpad on her legs. "Did you draw that?" he asked, staring at the sketch of his daughter at the piano. She nodded silently. "That's really good." He took the book in his hands. Normally she would have stopped anyone who touched her work, especially when she didn't feel confident about it, but there was something about him admiring a piece she created that felt right. "Do you mind if I keep this?" he asked.

"Um, sure?" she responded, not understanding why he'd want it. It wasn't even close to her best work.

He swiftly tore the page out of the book. "Where did you learn to draw like this?"

"I think it was just in my genes. My mom was an artist, a sculptor and painter. She would do freelance work when she had time, and I loved watching her work. I've always been more inclined to drawing, though. That's what I was studying at NYU. Studio arts."

"Well, I think you are very talented, Miss Fray. You could probably sell your work."

She let out a laugh and shook her head. "Oh, no. It's not nearly good enough for that."

"I find that hard to believe. You are your own worst critic after all."

"I also just haven't had the time to work on anything worth selling. These silly little drawings aren't something an art collector or gallery or homeowner would want to buy. They're more personal to me and just for practice and fun."

He moved his head to the side, looking out the window and over the city. He placed an index finger on his chin, and seemed to be thinking. "I want you to promise me something, Clary," he said, still looking out the window.

"Okay?"

He turned back to her, and she was caught off guard by the intense look in his eyes. "I want you to work on your art while you're here, while you don't have to worry about anything other than taking care of CeeCee."

"But-"

"No. No buts. I think you have real potential, and I want to see you live up to it once you're done here. So promise that you'll work on it."

"I-I promise."

A large grin broke out on his face. "Great! I can't wait to see what other surprises you have in store, Miss Fray."

"Speaking of surprises," she said, remembering her earlier promise to CeeCee."CeeCee wants to redecorate her room."

"She does? That shouldn't be a problem. What does she want this time? Frozen? Moana?"

Clary smiled, shaking her head. "Not exactly. How familiar are you with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"

His eyes widened. "She wants ninja turtles?"

"Yup," Clary responded, popping the p. "And when she asks you about it, you need to be supportive. She's really afraid you'll be upset because it's not girly."

He cursed slightly under his breath. "That's all Kaelie's doing. God, sometimes I hate that woman."

Clary scoffed. "Yeah. She hasn't been the most supportive mother from what I've seen so far."

"I'm this close to asking for full custody. The only reason I didn't fight for it the first time was because I thought it would be best for CeeCee to have both parents extremely present in her life. At this point, however, I think her mother is doing more harm than good."

He let out a groan, putting his hands in his face. Without thinking, Clary placed a hand gently on his knee.

"Whatever harm she may be doing is definitely outweighed by all the good you do for her, Jace," she said softly.

He removed his head from his hands and looked at her. Taking her hand off his knee, he carefully brought it up to his lips, running them lightly over her knuckles. "I think you might be one of the best things to happen to CeeCee. Maybe even to myself."

With that, he dropped her hand and stood up. He wished her goodnight before disappearing up the stairs and to his room.


	5. Chapter 5

The plastic tarp crinkled under Clary's feet as she moved to dip the roller brush into the paint-filled plastic tray on the floor. Once the roller was covered in a thick layer of violet paint, she went back to moving the brush up and down the wall, watching as the old pink paint disappeared under a fresh coat of purple. She bopped her head mindlessly to the music playing through her earphones, oblivious to the figure in the doorway.

She turned around to get more paint, and let out a yelp of surprise when she saw someone standing there. She dropped the brush, one hand flying to her chest, and the other reaching up to yank out the ear buds.

"Holy shit," she breathed out, "you scared me."

Jace chuckled. He was leaning against the doorjamb, his arms crossed across his chest. He was dressed more casually today, in a pair of loose hanging jeans and a button up. "Sorry. Didn't mean to. I just wanted to see how things were coming along."

She bent over and picked up the brush. "I'm almost done with the base coat. Once that wall dries," she pointed to the wall that once had princesses painted on it, "I can really get to work."

Jace detached himself from the door and walked farther into the room. "You know you don't have to do this, right? It's not in your job description, and I could easily hire someone."

She shrugged as she dipped the roller in the paint again. "CeeCee seemed pretty adamant about me doing it, and I don't really have anything better going on." She turned back to the wall. "How is Kaelie?" she asked. It was a Friday of one of Kaelie's weekends, and she was supposed to have taken CeeCee to her mother's. However, Jace insisted on doing it, saying he wanted to discuss some things with her in person. Clary had a feeling it had to do with her previous encounter with the woman.

She heard him sigh, followed by the sound of bedsprings squeaking. She assumed he sat down on CeeCee's bed, which had been moved to the middle of the room so it wasn't blocking any walls.

"She's fine. Seemed excited to have a girl's weekend with CeeCee. Apparently she has a bunch of beauty and pampering things planned to get her ready for school next week."

Clary scoffed and rolled her eyes. "She's five. What kind of pampering does she need?"

"Exactly. Honestly, Kaelie looks for any excuse for a spa day. But I figure it won't harm CeeCee in anyway, so there was really no point in questioning it."

"Maybe it could be a tradition for them?" she offered. "My mom would always make me breakfast for dinner the night before the first day of school. She started it the night before kindergarten and continued all the way until I graduated."

"That's really nice. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman."

"Um, so what do you typically do on the weekends when you don't have CeeCee?" she asked, wanting to move the subject away from her mother.

"Usually I just work through them. Sometimes I catch up with old friends. Do you have any plans for this weekend, Miss Fray?"

She faltered in her painting for a second. "I, uh, am going to hang out with Simon tonight." She hadn't told him about her job at Pandemonium. She wasn't sure if he'd approve, so she decided she keep it under wraps for now.

The ringing of a cell phone cut through the air. "Excuse me, but I really have to get this," Jace said. "I'll leave you to continue doing what you're doing."

She heard him leave, his footsteps being marked by the crinkle of the plastic tarp. Once he was out of the room, she exhaled loudly. She felt terrible about lying to him, even though it really was none of his business what she was doing in her free time. It just felt wrong to be dishonest with him, and she tried to justify it to herself by arguing that she technically would be spending time with Simon.

She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and checked the time. It was a little bit after seven, and she had to be at Pandemonium by 8:30. She made quick work of putting away all the paint and supplies before crossing the hall to her own room to get ready.

After showering and doing her hair and makeup, she threw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt, shoving her work clothes into a small backpack. She figured walking to work in that outfit wouldn't be a smart idea so late at night and knew she could easily change in a bathroom.

Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, she made sure the coast was clear before quietly leaving her room. Her sneakers squeaked slightly as she tiptoed across the wood floor and to the elevator. She felt silly for sneaking around, but she didn't want Jace to ask any more questions and she didn't want to have to bend the truth any more than she already had.

She walked the short distance to the subway station, shivering at the cold air. She forgot how much the temperature dropped at night, even in the summer, and regretted not grabbing a jacket. Holding her backpack tightly against her body, she stepped onto a subway car and sat down in one of the few open seats.

Clary stared mindlessly at her shoes as the subway rattled along the rails. She was suddenly hit with the feeling of being watched, but when she glanced up, nobody was even looking in her direction. She put her head back down, and the unsettling feeling came back a few moments later.

This time when she looked up, Clary caught a man on the other side of the car quickly turning his head. He looked to be well into his 40's with hair so blonde it was almost white and eyes so dark they seemed black. He was dressed in a well-pressed suit with fancy dress shoes and didn't at all look like someone who would be riding the subway.

Every time she looked away, she could feel his eyes on her. She finally couldn't take it anymore, deciding to get off a few stops early and just walk the rest of the way to work since she had plenty of time. She waited until the last possible second to stand up and exit the car, not wanting to give the man a chance to follow her. She didn't at all enjoy the vibes she was getting from him, and she'd rather take her chances walking than stay in the car with him constantly watching her.

The air was cool and she walked briskly, knowing it still wasn't a good idea to be walking around the city alone at night. The street lights above her flickered, and she shivered as a slight breeze blew down the street. She picked up her pace even more, wanting to be in the safety and warmth of somewhere in doors.

She turned down the street where Pandemonium was and immediately noticed the long line already outside the building. She slid behind the line and into the alley, entering through the side employee entrance. She could feel the bass of the music vibrating the floor through the thin soles of her sneakers as she walked across the floor and toward the bathroom.

She quickly changed into her work outfit and let her hair out of the loose bun she had put it up in, letting the curls cascade down her back. She then hastily applied make-up, drawing dark lines around her eyes and coating her lips in a shiny, seductive red. Her stilettos clicked against the bathroom tile as she left with her backpack slung over her shoulder.

She strode across the club, threw her bag under the bar, and shot Helen a greeting. There were already a few trays of drinks sitting on the bar, and Clary picked one up after asking what table it belonged to. She delivered the drinks and returned to the bar to see Simon talking to Helen.

"Hey," he said, turning his attention to Clary. "You're number one customer is here."

Clary rolled her eyes, taking Sebastian's usual from Helen. "Shut up, Simon."

"He's also not alone this time."

"Oh?" Clary responded, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Some other guy and a chick."

"Maybe I can work my charms on them, too," she said, laughing lightly.

"They're in the back booth." He nodded his head in that direction.

Clary started toward that booth, and as she neared it she saw Sebastian facing her. Due to the angle of the booth, she couldn't see who was sitting with him.

"Cherry!" he shouted over the pulsing music.

"Hey, Seb." She smiled and handed him his drink. He slid a bill into her hand as she did so.

"Let me introduce you to my friends," he said.

Clary turned to look at his company, and the smile immediately fell from her face. Sitting in the middle of the booth was a small, voluptuous woman with short black hair and almond shaped eyes, but next to her and across from Sebastian was none other than Jace Herondale. He looked equally as shocked to see her.

"Cherry, this is Aline and Jace."

"Clary, what are you doing here?" Jace asked, ignoring Sebastian. His voice was hard and she did not like it.

"I, uh, work here?" she squeaked out.

"That's funny. Because last time I checked, you worked for me."

"Wait," Sebastian interrupted. "You two know each other?"

"Clarissa is an employee of mine," Jace said cooly.

"That doesn't mean I can't have other jobs," she defended. "That was never a stipulation."

"It wasn't but this is simply very inappropriate. I can't have you running around a nightclub dressed like some slut."

"Hey!" she shouted, placing her hands on her hips. "I'm sorry we can't all have dignified, classy office jobs. Plus, what I do in my free time is none of your goddamn business, Mr. Herondale."

"What if CeeCee sees you dressed like that? That's not setting a very good example."

"I changed here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."

She went to leave, but his hand shot out and grabbed her forearm. She froze at the contact. The feeling of his hands gripping her arm and the scent of alcohol in the room was all too familiar to her. She suddenly wasn't looking into Jace's golden eyes, but into a pair of black irises slightly covered by thick black curls.

Panic was beginning to rise in her chest when the contact was suddenly broken. She shook herself out of her stupor and saw Simon standing next to her with Jace's arm in his hand. Simon's eyes were blazing while Jace's looked somewhat concerned.

"Hands off the girls," he said through clenched teeth. "Including the servers."

Before Jace could respond, Simon put his arm around Clary's shoulders and led her away from the table. He took her into one of the club's storage rooms and closed the door behind him.

"Clare, look at me," he said, bending down to eye level. "I need you to calm down."

Clary hadn't even realized how heavily she was breathing until that moment. "S-Sorry."

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine. I just freaked out for a second there."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Simon. I- I just thought about Raphael for a second and panicked. I'm fine now, though."

"Who even is that guy?"

"Jace Herondale."

Simon's eyes widened. "Jace Herondale? As in your new boss Jace Herondale?"

"Yeah. I didn't know he'd be here tonight. I didn't even know he knew Sebastian."

"Has he ever touched you before?"

"No. And all he did was grab my arm. It's no big deal."

"Really, Clary? Because your reaction didn't seem like no big deal."

"I know. I'm sorry. I haven't had that happen in awhile. I was just taken by surprise."

"If he ever lays a hand on you again, let me know."

Clary laughed. "Please, Simon. You wouldn't get past the security that man has. We should probably get back to work."

"You're right." He moved to open the door, but paused. "I don't want you serving that table any more tonight. I'll put someone else on it, okay?"

"Simon, it's really no problem. I'm a big girl and can deal with it."

"Please just do it for me? After Raph-"

She groaned, cutting him off. "Fine, whatever," she grumbled. She knew he felt guilty about the whole Raphael situation, and she hated that he felt that way.

He smiled and opened the door. "After you," he gestured in front of himself.

She rolled her eyes and left the storage room with Simon in tow behind her. When they got back to the bar, she heard Simon tell on of the other servers to take Sebastian's table. Helen gave her a questioning look at this, but Clary just gave her a small shake of her head in return.

She spent the rest of the night with a forced smile plastered on her face. She ran around the club handing out drinks and even helping Helen behind the bar when things got a little crazy. Despite her best efforts, her eyes always seemed to find Jace. She found herself glancing in the direction of Sebastian's table. If he wasn't there, she could usually find him in the crowd of bodies on the dance floor.

No matter where he was, Aline always seemed to be attached to him like a leech. Clary felt a pang of jealousy run through her every time, but tried to shake it off. She had no reason to feel jealous. Plus, it made sense for Jace to be attracted to Aline. She was absolutely beautiful and sexy. She was also within his social caliber; she wasn't someone he'd be ashamed to be seen with.

When Clary's shift finally came to an end, she felt too drained to even bother changing back into her street clothes. She grabbed her bag from under the bar and glanced at the dance floor one more time. She caught sight of Aline and Jace dancing sensually with each other. They were facing each other, chest to chest. Jace's hands gripped her waist, and Aline was moving her hips against him.

With a sigh, Clary said goodnight to Bat, who had taken over the bar for the rest of night since Helen's shift had also ended. She left through the employee door that led to the alley and almost walked into a man standing right outside. She gasped, caught off guard, before she realized who the man was.

"Luke?" she exhaled. "What are you doing here?"

"Mr. Herondale asked me to take you home."

It was then that she noticed the sleek black car parked in the alley behind him. "That's unnecessary," she said, moving to step around him.

He blocked her efforts and moved in front of her again. "He really doesn't want you travelling home alone this late at night."

"That's nice and all, but I can handle myself."

She went to walk past him, and he thwarted her efforts again. "Miss Fray, I can stand here all night. It'll be easier for both of us if you just get in the car and let me drive you home."

She crossed her arms and stared him down for a moment. She actually didn't have much of a desire to walk home and ride the subway. Getting a ride from Luke sounded pretty nice. However, she did not want Jace to get his way.

Uncrossing her arms, she sighed. The ache in her feet and exhaustion washing over her body won over. "Alright. I'll agree. But I'm only doing it for you, not Jace."

Luke chuckled as he opened the car door for her. "I'll make sure to pass your message along."

* * *

The next morning, Clary woke up incredibly hot and covered in a thin layer of sweat. As she kicked off the comforter, she realized she was still wearing an old paint splattered pair of jeans and t-shirt. Her brow furrowed. She hadn't remembered getting into bed. When she had gotten home, she had suddenly felt restless and decided to work on CeeCee's room some more. She couldn't recall leaving that room, though.

She completely kicked off the comforter and climbed out of bed. She changed into a pair of cotton shorts and a clean tee before exiting her in room and heading to the kitchen. After turning on the coffee pot, she dug around in the cabinets for a cup. As she filled the cup up, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She looked up to see Aline walking up to the breakfast bar.

"I take my eggs over easy with a side of turkey bacon," Aline said as she slid onto one of the stools at the counter.

"Excuse me?" Clary responded, arching an eyebrow.

"My breakfast order?"

Clary picked up her coffee cup and took a sip. "That's not my job."

Aline scoffed. "I don't think Jace would like to hear that his employee is refusing to her job."

"I'm his nanny."

"So? That prevents you from making me breakfast how?"

Clary set down the cup and placed her hands on the counter, leaning towards Aline. "Being his nanny means I take care of his daughter. Just because you might also call him Daddy doesn't mean I take orders from you."

She heard someone snort and turned to find Jace standing at the bottom of the stairs. A pair of pajama pants hung low on his hips, and that was the only article of clothing he was wearing. He looked like he was trying to hold back laughter. Aline followed her line of sight and shot Jace a look that made him straighten his face and clear his throat.

"I'll make you breakfast, Aline," he offered. "It's really not Miss Fray's job."

Clary didn't bother saying anything else and picked up her coffee to take back to her room. As she walked away, she could hear Aline complaining to Jace about her and rolled her eyes. Once she closed her bedroom door, she could no longer hear their voices.

Digging through her nightstand drawer, she pulled out one of her sketchpads and a pack of pencils. She put on some classic rock music before climbing onto her bed and getting to work. She didn't really think about what she wanted to draw and just let her hand move across the blank page, leaving graphite lines behind.

As she got farther into the drawing, she recognized the scene as one from Pandemonium. It was of a couple dancing. All the other dancers were blurred mass in the background, with the couple being the only clear part of the drawing. Clary angrily turned to a blank page as she realized who she had drawn the couple as. It was Jace in the same position he had been last night. However, instead of his partner being Aline, it was Clary. She didn't know why she had drawn that, and she did not want to spend time dwelling on it.

Right as she was about to start a new sketch, there was a light knock on her door. She called for the person to come in and closed her sketchbook, placing it on her lap. The door slowly opened and Jace stood awkwardly in the doorway. He had changed into a pair of slacks and a button up.

"Hey, can we talk?" he asked, his voice low.

"Yeah, sure," she said, shrugging.

He walked further into the room and sat down on the edge of her bed. "Listen, I just want to apologize about last night. I was completely out of line and don't know what got into me. That being said, why do you feel the need to have another job? Am I not paying you enough? I can easily increase your wages."

She shook her head. "You're paying me plenty. I just wanted to be able to put some more money into savings. Thanks for apologizing."

"Thanks for letting Luke take you home." He cracked a smile. "Even if it wasn't for my benefit."

"I was honestly too tired to argue."

Laughing, he pushed himself off her bed. "I figured. So, I'm going to let you go back to whatever you were doing." He paused in the doorway. "And if I'm ever an ass to you again, don't be afraid to call me out."

She smiled at him. "Don't worry, I won't."

* * *

 **Super sorry for the late update. I'm back in college now and was really busy with job training for awhile. I'll try to update again as soon as I can.**


	6. Chapter 6

Clary gripped the steering wheel tightly as she drove up the long, curve driveway leading to Kaelie's house. Actually, house wasn't the right word. The building was more mansion-like with tall roman-esque pillars, a large front staircase, and lavish trellises. A lush green yard surrounded the house, and in the middle of the driveway stood a tall marble fountain. Kaelie was a very flashy person, and Clary was not at all surprised by her attention-grabbing home.

As she put the car in park, the large oak front door opened and out stepped Kaelie with CeeCee in tow. To an outsider, it would look like Kaelie was just saving her the trouble of having to walk all the way to the front door and knock. However, Clary knew the message Kaelie was trying to send: Clary was not welcome in her home.

Clary turned off the car and got out to gather CeeCee's things from Kaelie. Kaelie scowled as she approached, sizing her up from head to toe. As Clary took CeeCee's overnight bag from her, Kaelie made sure there was absolutely no physical contact between them.

Clary placed the bag in the trunk between opening the backseat door to put CeeCee in her car seat. Once she had CeeCee buckled up, she closed the door and turned back to Kaelie.

"God," Kaelie scoffed the second the door closed. "You could at least try to put in some effort."

Clary cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

Wordlessly, Kaelie gestured at Clary's attire, causing her to bristle. She didn't see anything wrong with the jeans and plain blue V-neck she was wearing.

"I don't see what my choice in clothing has to do with anything."

Kaelie crossed her arms and curled her lip. "Of course you wouldn't."

"Now what's that supposed to mean?" Clary asked, feeling oddly defensive.

"You are in a completely different world now, Clarissa. Here, we have reputations to uphold. I can't just let my daughter be seen with someone dressed like some commoner. You better dress more appropriately when you take her to school. She needs to make a good impression. Don't embarrass her."

Clary raised an eyebrow. "Embarrass her? She's five. She doesn't care, and she shouldn't."

Kaelie shook her head. "You wouldn't understand. You don't come from money or a good name. You are just some poor, indebted college dropout with a dead mother. There's nobody's reputation for you to ruin."

Clary's face fell. "H-How do you know that?"

"I ran a few background checks, paid the right people."

"You had no right—"

"Oh, pleas! I have every right to know about the woman my child is spending most of her time around."

Taking a deep, calming breath, Clary squared her shoulders. "You know what? I don't have to deal with this. You are not my employer, and I am not going to waste my time with this conversation for any longer. I'll see you in two weeks."

She walked around to the other side of the car as calmly as she could and got in. All she wanted to do was yell at Kaelie, tell her how horrible she was, and let out all her frustrations. But she wasn't about to do that with CeeCee sitting right in the car. The only option she had was to go home and keep her interactions with Kaelie limited.

The next morning, Clary hummed to herself as she flipped over a few pancakes on a skillet. She could hear Dora the Explorer playing in the living room where she had left CeeCee in her pajamas to watch television as she got breakfast ready. Imogen was at the store, Clary having sent her under the pretense that they were out of milk. She had just wanted to do something special for CeeCee on her first day of school, and she knew Imogen wouldn't let her lay a hand on a spatula if she was around.

She looked up as she heard footsteps descending the stairs. Jace approached the kitchen, straightening his tie. He stopped in his tracks when he saw it was Clary in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

She shrugged, placing a stack of pancakes onto a plate. "Making breakfast."

"I can see that. You do know I pay someone else to do that, right?"

She poured more batter into the pan. "Yeah."

He sighed in frustration. "Okay, then _why_ are you doing it?"

Smiling, she placed a plate of pancakes on the counter and slid them towards him. "I wanted to do something nice for CeeCee's first day."

He looked down at the plate apprehensively. "I believe we discussed CeeCee's healthy diet on your first day, Clary."

"We did. They're wheat."

"And the syrup?" he said pointedly.

"Come on, Jace. It's her first day of school _ever_. That's a pretty big deal. Let her indulge just this once."

He looked at her pensively for a moment. "Alright. Just this once. Don't make a habit of bending my rules, though."

"Thank you," she said before plating another stack of pancakes and calling CeeCee in to eat.

CeeCee sat at the breakfast bar next to her father. "Miss Clary made breakfast," she said excitedly, looking at her plate.

"I know. That was nice of her, wasn't it?" Jace responded, shooting Clary a glance out of the corner of his eye.

"Uh-huh," she said before shoving a forkful of food into her mouth.

Clary smiled, turning around to wash the dishes as CeeCee talked adamantly to Jace about it being her first day of school. Clary was glad that she seemed excited and not scared. CeeCee was looking forward to seeing all her friends more often than just on play dates.

When the pair finished eating, Clary gathered their plates and sent CeeCee to her room to get dressed.

"I want Jordan to drive you today, just so you can get familiar with the route before going on your own," Jace said as she loaded the dishwasher.

"Sounds good," she responded. "Are you sure you don't want to take the morning off and take her?"

Jace smiled sadly at her. "I wish I could. We're just so busy right now and I have meetings with some more investors today that just cannot be moved."

"Want me to take lots of pictures?"

"I'd really appreciate it."

They both looked up as CeeCee returned to the kitchen. She had put on her school uniform, which consisted of black slacks, a white button, navy blazer, and navy and white striped tie. Clary had pulled CeeCee's hair back into a ponytail earlier, and there was now a plaid scrunchy helping secure it.

Clary glanced at Jace, who had an expression of pride on his face. She excused herself, feeling like she should give the pair a moment alone together. A child's first day of kindergarten is an important milestone, and Clary felt slightly like she was intruding on what should be a private moment between parent and child.

She went into her room to quickly change into a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt, similar to what she had worn the previous day. She threw on a pair of Converse before going into CeeCee's room to grab her backpack. The room still hadn't been finished, but she had plans to complete it while CeeCee was at school and her play date after.

When she walked back into the living room, CeeCee was sitting on the couch watching Dora again with Jordan now sitting next to her. Jace was nowhere to be seen, so she assumed he had left. She picked the remote up from the coffee table and clicked off the television.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

CeeCee jumped off the couch, nodding enthusiastically. Clary took her hand as they followed Jordan down to the parking garage. She buckled CeeCee into her car seat and sat down next to her. As Jordan made the drive to the school, Clary mentally mapped the route.

Jordan pulled the car into the parking lot of one of the most extravagant school buildings. The building was three stories high and made completely our of old brick. There were tall, arching windows covering the façade and a large grass lawn encircled the entire thing.

Once Clary helped CeeCee out of the car, she looked around at all the other students. She noticed quite a few of the younger ones also had nannies with them, and she realized just how much she stuck out. She had picked out her outfit just to spite Kaelie, but now she was finding herself slightly regretting the situation. The other nannies were dressed extremely professionally in suits and slacks or pencil skirts with blouses and blazers. She felt multiple pairs of eyes on her as she led CeeCee into the building.

She made sure to take plenty of pictures of CeeCee on their way to her classroom. She had planned on giving CeeCee a first-day-of-school pep talk in the hallway, but she ran into the classroom as soon as they arrived, throwing a quick goodbye to Clary. She was at least glad that she wasn't at all nervous or worried about starting kindergarten.

* * *

Clary was washing out her brushes, having finally finished CeeCee's room, when her alarm went off, letting her know it was time to pick CeeCee up from school. She left the brushes on the sink to dry and grabbed her things to leave, not changing out of her paint-spattered clothing. Jordan was already waiting at the car for her when she got down to the garage. He quirked an eyebrow at her, but she just shook her head in response.

They were silent on the car ride there, and Jordan stayed in the car while she waited for CeeCee by the large front doors. She ignored the stares she was receiving from other parents and caregivers as she waited. She had been so focused on finishing CeeCee's room that she had lost track, and she didn't want to risk being late by taking the time to change clothes.

When CeeCee finally emerged with a group of students, the corners of Clary's mouth turned down. The little girl had changed part of her uniform. She was now wearing a navy plaid skirt instead of the black slacks she had on earlier. The Ninja Turtle backpack had also been replaced by a Disney fairies one.

"What happened to the stuff you left the house with?" she asked as she took CeeCee's hand.

The little girl shrugged. "Mommy came by and had me change."

Clary stiffened slightly. "She did?"

"Yep."

"Interesting," Clary said as they got into the car. "How do you feel about that?"

"I miss my Ninja Turtles."

Clary tucked a stray strand of hair behind CeeCee's ear. "We can get you replacements later this week, sweetie. Anyway, how was school?"

CeeCee chattered excitedly the whole drive to her friend's house. She told Clary about how nice her teacher was and that she made lots of new friends. She said story time was her favorite part of the day and she couldn't wait to go back tomorrow to hear a new story.

Clary dropped CeeCee off for her play date, and as soon as she was back in the car, she told Jordan to take her to Kaelie's. He seemed taken aback and asked if she was sure, but she wasn't about to change her mind. She knew she should be keeping her distance from the woman, but she couldn't let her continue to control CeeCee like she was doing.

Jordan drove excruciatingly slowly to Kaelie's house, and Clary knew it was on purpose. He thought it was a terrible idea and was giving Clary time to change her mind, but she stood her ground. The second he stopped the car in her driveway, she was out, telling him to stay there.

She stomped up the steps and banged her fist on the front door. It swung open to reveal a timid looking maid who remained halfway behind the door. "Miss Whitewillow isn't expecting any company," the girl said.

"Yes, this is more of an impromptu visit," Clary explained as she stepped into the foyer. "Could you please go get Kaelie for me?"

The girl nodded before scampering off, and Clary looked around at her surroundings. The foyer was just as extravagant as the outside of Kaelie's home. The floors were a freshly polished marble and two grand stairs cases broke off from the foyer. Between the stairs, on the ceiling, hung a grand crystal chandelier and the walls held various pieces of artwork. Everything about the foyer screamed money, and it was only the entrance to the home. Clary wondered what the rest of the house looked like.

The sound of heels clicking on the floor alerted Clary to the fact that someone was approaching. Kaelie strode in, a scowl affixed to her face. She stopped a few inches away from Clary, placing her hands on her hips and narrowing her eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she snarled.

Clary straightened her back and crossed her arms, not about to let Kaelie intimidate her. "I came here to ask you what your problem is."

"What _my_ problem is? I'm not the one showing up announced to someone else's home!"

"Why did you come to CeeCee's school, in the middle of the day might I add, and make her change?"

"She was dressed inappropriately."

"She was wearing the proper uniform!" Clary threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "What was it? The fact that she was wearing _pants_? Was that not ladylike enough for you?"

"Exactly." Kaelie turned up her nose. "Plus that atrocious backpack. The second I received a called about what my daughter was wearing, I knew I had to get down there."

Clary scoffed. "Do you seriously have people spying on your daughter? She's only five! What the fuck are you going to do when she grows up? Follow her around yourself?"

"If that's what it takes." She fixed her gaze back on Clary. "And do not even get me started on you. Did you wear that to pick her up? We have already a discussion about your choices in attire, and I really do not care to have it again."

Clary put up a hand, signaling to Kaelie to stop talking. "I am not here to talk about me. You can throw whatever bitchy comments you want my way. I'm a big girl and I can handle it. I am here to discuss CeeCee. You can't treat her the way you do! She's a child for God's sake."

"I know she is a child. I'm trying to mold her into a proper member of society. I can't have her running around dressed like a boy!"

"She can dress however she likes! You can't stifle her like this, Kaelie. As her mother, you should be supporting her, not tearing her down. I don't know what kind of deranged house you grew up in, but I refuse to watch you hurt this little girl the way you are."

"You are not her mother, Miss Fray. You have no say in how I raise my daughter."

"Considering you're doing an absolutely shitty job, I'm taking it upon myself to intervene so you don't completely destroy CeeCee's life."

"I want you out of my house, Clarissa. I will not allow you to come here and talk to me like this," Kaelie said, her voice shaking slightly. "And I will be informing Jace about this little stunt of yours."

"Go ahead, Kaelie. I'm sure he'll be very interested in hearing what you did to your daughter today."

* * *

Clary walked behind CeeCee, her hands covering the little girl's eyes as they entered her room. When she dropped her hands, CeeCee looked around the room in silent awe, her mouth wide open. Clary had finally finished the room, and she felt pretty good about the job she did. The walls were painted purple and green, and the wall where the princess had been now had a painting of the Ninja Turtles on it. Her bedding was now purple and green striped to match the walls, as were the drapes over her window. Clary had also placed a new backpack and school supplies on the bed for her.

CeeCee whirled around and threw her arms around Clary's abdomen. "Thank you, Miss Clary!"

"I'm glad you like it," Clary said, looking down affectionately at her.

There was a light knock on the open door and Clary turned to see Jace standing in the doorway. He had removed his tie and jacket and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His tired eyes scanned the room.

"You finished," he stated.

"Um, yeah," she responded.

"Can I see you in my office for a moment?" he asked.

She cocked her head to the side in confusion, but nodded. She turned to Cee and knelt down in front of her. "Sweetie, can you brush your teeth and get your PJs on for me? I'll come tuck you in in a few."

She then followed Jace out of the room and up to his office. He was silent the whole way, and she got an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach. Having her boss call her into his office didn't seem like a good sign to her, and she had a feeling it was all going to come back to Kaelie.

He gestured for her to sit in the chair on the other side of the desk. She sat down and watched as he took his seat, placing his forearms on the desk and clasping his hands.

"So, I got an interesting call from Kaelie today," he said.

"Listen, Jace—" she started.

He put a hand up in the air to stop her. "You were completely out of line showing up at her home like that."

"I get that, but I couldn't just let her treat CeeCee like that!"

"It's not your place, Clary. Kaelie is her mother. Not you. You do not get a say in how she is raised."

"But—"

"Don't do it again. Your job was clearly outlined in the contract you signed. Do not stray from that, or we may have to reevaluate your position."

Her eyes widened. "Jace—"

"Do you understand?" He cut her off once again.

"I understand completely, Mr. Herondale," she said, satisfied with the look of surprise that appeared on his face when she addressed him by his last name. "Excuse me, but I need to go get Miss Herondale to bed."

She heard him sigh and start to say her name, but she ignored it as she walked out. The worry about the possibility of losing her job was overpowered by the annoyance she felt. Not that long ago, Jace was agreeing with her about Kaelie's terrible parenting. But now all of the sudden he was siding with Kaelie? Even just this morning he had been okay with her simple rule breaking. She was racking her brain trying to figure out what the hell had happened. Did he not fully understand the impact Kaelie's actions were having on CeeCee? She didn't know how long she could refrain from intervening again, but she was going to try her best to follow Jace's orders.

* * *

 **Junior year of college is hard, but I'm trying my best to keep up on this story.**


	7. Chapter 7

Clary tentatively took a sip of her latte, flinching as the hot liquid burned her tongue. She sat her cup down as Izzy slid into the seat across from her, her own cup in hand. They sat in a secluded corner of a coffee shop, Iz taking a break from working and Clary killing time until she needed to pick CeeCee up from school.

"You're still hung up on this whole Jace thing, huh?" Izzy asked, blowing on her cup of coffee.

Over the past few weeks, Clary had had been meeting with her more often during the day. She had been avoiding any chance of running into Jace when CeeCee wasn't around, which meant she spent more time out of the house during school hours. Jace had a tendency to randomly show up during the day, and she wasn't going to risk being there if he happened to forget something at home.

Clary shrugged. "I just want to keep my distance, you know?"

Her best friend rolled her eyes. "It's been weeks, Clary. Let it go."

"He was really mad. I don't want to risk pissing him off again."

"Honestly, if you're this upset about it, I don't understand why you don't just quit."

"I can't quit."

"If you work more hours at the club you'll make plenty of money, and you're always welcome to temporarily crash at mine and Simon's."

Clary shook her head, staring at the cup between her hands. "It's not about the money right now."

Izzy groaned loudly, drawing the attention of a few other patrons of the café. "Do not tell me you've gotten attached."

Clary remained silent, and avoided making eye contact with her friend. She knew she had grown attached to CeeCee, and she knew it was a problem. The job was a temporary one. CeeCee wouldn't need a nanny forever, and Clary might even end up no longer being a right fit, which meant there would come a time when she would no longer be a part of the little girl's life.

"I didn't do it on purpose," she finally said. "I spend a lot of time around her and it just happened. I'm sure it would happen to you if you were to spend time with her. She's a really fantastic kid."

"Yeah. I've heard. I just want you to be careful, because this gig isn't going to last forever."

"I know," Clary sighed before deciding to change the subject. "So, are you going to the gala on Friday?"

Rolling her eyes, Izzy took a drink of her coffee. "My parents are forcing me. We've always been good family friends with the Herondales, so I have to go to support Jace or whatever. At least I'll have Simon to help make it less terrible. You?"

"I'm tagging along to watch after CeeCee and take her home once it starts to get late."

Izzy perked up at this, leaning across the table. "What are you wearing? Can I help you get ready? Do you—"

"I don't know yet."

Izzy's eyes widened and her mouth popped open. "Clarissa! This event is in

 _two days_! That is not enough time to find the perfect dress and—"

Clary shook her head and signaled for her to stop talking. "I'm not wearing a dress, Iz."

She crossed her arms and sat back in her chair, frowning. "What do you mean you aren't wearing a dress? It's a formal event. It comes with the territory."

"I'm not a guest, Izzy. Kaelie made that abundantly clear. I'm there to work. I am to dress professional, not formal," Clary explained, recalling the very serious conversation Kaelie had with her over the weekend when she was picking up CeeCee.

"Since when do you listen to that bitch?" Izzy scoffed.

"Since I'm trying not to have any more confrontations with Jace. I figured I should start avoiding any sort of fights with the mother of his child, as much as I hate letting her win."

Izzy sighed, running a perfectly manicured hand through her raven locks. "This whole situation is ridiculous. I don't understand how Jace hasn't dropped her ass completely yet. Even Alec doesn't understand why he continues to let her stay involved."

"I know. But it's been made abundantly clear that it's not my place to say anything. My opinion is irrelevant. I'm just the help."

Her friend threw her hands in the air. "That's just it! For as much as you've done, you shouldn't be just 'the help.'"

"I'm an employee, Iz. This is how it works." She sighed dejectedly. "Anyway, I will let you do my hair and makeup on Friday, if you want," she offered, trying to cheer her friend up in some way.

Izzy quirked an eyebrow at her. "I'm not going to say no, but don't think offering to let me make you up is going to make me forget how upset I am right now."

Clary rolled her eyes. "I don't even understand why you're upset. _I'm_ not upset, and all of this is about me."

"Well I don't like him treating you the way he does!"

"Overall, he's been very kind to me, Isabelle. He's just gotten a little upset about the interactions Kaelie and I have had," she said, feeling the strange urge to defend Jace, even though she had just been complaining about him. She looked down at her phone and checked the time. "Listen, I really need to go, but come by on Friday and help me get ready?" She offered her friend a smile, letting her know she wasn't upset.

Izzy smiled back and nodded her head slightly. "I'll be there."

* * *

Clary sat behind CeeCee, running a brush through the soft, golden strands of her hair. She had finished straightening it with a flatiron and was brushing out any knots left behind. Once she was satisfied with the job she had done, she placed the brush down on the vanity table and met CeeCee's eyes in the mirror.

"There," she said. "Now you are all ready. How about you go watch some television while I get dressed?"

CeeCee grinned. "Thank you, Miss Clary."

"Not a problem," Clary said as CeeCee got up and ran out of the room.

She closed and locked the door before facing the outfit that Izzy had laid out on her bed. She rolled her eyes at the pair of stilettos that had been placed next to the pencil skirt, blouse, and blazer. Izzy had refused to let her wear flats despite Clary's protest about flats being more professional. She had conceded to wearing the shoes just to get Izzy to leave her alone.

Carefully, she changed into the outfit, making sure not to mess up the hair or make up that Izzy had spent so much time on. If she showed up with even one hair out of place, she was sure Iz would strangle her.

She gave herself one last look over in the mirror and couldn't help but notice she actually looked like the other nannies she saw when dropping CeeCee of at school. The blazer and skirt hugged her curves nicely but still gave off an air of professionalism. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun with a few loose curls framing her face, and her make was light and natural looking. Izzy had done a great a job at giving her a more toned down look.

As she stepped out of her room, she heard a voice other than CeeCee's in the living room. When she walked in, she saw CeeCee quietly sitting on the couch and watching television. In the foyer was Aline. She was pacing in the foyer and talking to someone on the phone.

Clary stood there and studied her. Aline was in a beautiful floor length evening gown with a plunging neckline. It was a deep seductive, seductive red and clung to her body like a second skin. She had accessorized with diamond jewelry and a small designer clutch. Clary couldn't help but think about how much she looked like someone Jace belonged with. She was definitely part of his world—a world where Clary would never fit in.

Aline ended her phone call and looked over at Clary. "Thank God you actually know how to dress appropriately," she said.

Clary rolled her eyes but said nothing. Aline had somehow become friends with Kaelie and had taken it upon herself to criticize Clary in Kaelie's absence. She didn't understand how Jace was dating someone who was practically a personality clone of his ex.

"By the way," Aline continued, "Kaelie wanted me to remind you about remembering your place. Stick to the edges of the room and do not draw attention to yourself. You are there to work, and an employee's behavior says a lot about a person. We wouldn't want you making Jace look bad, now would we?"

Clary bit her cheek and nodded her head. She wanted to tell Aline to fuck off, but it was another Kaelie situation. She didn't want to cause any drama and risk angering Jace in that way again. He would probably think she was being unjustly rude and unprofessional anyway. Aline always made sure he wasn't around when she made her snide comments.

Before Aline could say anything else, Jace showed up with Jordan and Luke in tow. He was wearing a freshly tailored tuxedo while Jordan and Luke wore their usual suits. She watched as he greeted Aline, telling her how gorgeous she looked and kissing her on the cheek.

He wrapped an arm around Aline's waist and turned to Clary. "Are we all ready to go?"

"Yes, Mr. Herondale," she responded before turning off the television and asking CeeCee to get up.

Jace smiled broadly when he saw his daughter stand up in a princess-style dress. "You look very pretty, CeeCee," he said. "You will definitely be the star of the night."

Clary could have sworn she saw Aline glower at his words but brushed it off as her just imaging things.

"Aline and I will ride together with Luke," he said, turning his attention back to Clary. "You and CeeCee will ride with Jordan and use a back entrance. I don't want the paparazzi getting ahold of her."

"Yes, Mr. Herondale," she said again, grabbing CeeCee's coat off the back of the couch and helping her put it on.

Jace sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I told you you don't have to call me that, Clary."

Clary shrugged, a small smirk forming on her lips. She hid it by keeping her head down as she buttoned CeeCee's coat. "I am just trying to keep it professional, Mr. Herondale," she said, returning her expression to a neutral one before standing back up.

She heard Jordan cough and glanced over to see him trying to hold back his laughter. He knew all about the situation between her and Jace. She spent a lot of time with him and often confided in him when Izzy and Simon were busy. He had admitted to her that he was "on her side." He had also mentioned finding it amusing to watch her push Jace's buttons. He said he never saw someone unsettle him quite like her.

Jace also noticed Jordan's demeanor and shot him a cold look. Jordan immediately gained his composure and set his gaze on the wall behind everyone.

"We should get going," Jace stated, pulling his and Aline's coats off the coat rack. He helped Aline into hers, similar to how Clary had done with CeeCee, before putting on his own. "We will meet you there."

* * *

Clary's heels clicked on the marble flooring of the hotel lobby as Jordan led them quickly to the ballroom where the gala was being held. Clary was upset that keeping up with his long stride was preventing her from getting to look around at the lavish lobby. She paused outside the open doors of the ballroom and looked down at CeeCee, whose grip had suddenly tightened on her hand.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked.

"What if mommy doesn't like my dress?" she asked.

Frowning, Clary kneeled down to be eye level with her. "You look absolutely beautiful tonight, CeeCee. I'm sure mother will also agree. If she says anything mean, just let me know. Okay?"

CeeCee cast her eyes down but nodded. "Okay."

"Alright," Clary sighed, standing back up. "Let's go in and find your dad."

Jordan led them inside, where Jace, Kaelie, and Aline were standing just to the right of the doorway. Kaelie was in a skintight satin dress that was as icy blue as her eyes. Clary held CeeCee's hand as they approached the group.

Kaelie gave CeeCee an appraising look when they walked up, and Clary let out a breath of relief as a look of approval crossed her face. She wasn't sure she could hold back if Kaelie said anything out of hand to the little girl.

"CeeCee, darling, you look lovely," Kaelie said to her daughter, holding out a hand to her. CeeCee beamed and took her hand, moving to stand next to her daughter. Kaelie looked at Clary, her eyes full of disdain. "Why are you still standing there? You've brought her to us. You are dismissed until CeeCee needs something else."

Clary pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth to prevent herself from lashing out at Kaelie. Instead, she nodded her head and stepped off to the side. She walked around the outskirts of the party and found a wall in a more dimly lit part of the room to against. She didn't want to draw attention to herself, just like Aline had told her.

She scanned the room and took a moment to take in her surroundings. The ballroom was bigger than most spaces she had been in, and it was decorated meticulously and extravagantly. The walls were covered in gold silk tapestries. The tablecloths were an ivory white and decorated with gold ribbons around the perimeter. There were also gold bows tied to the back of each chair. A large banner hung over the stage at the front of the room with big, cursive letters spelling out "Herondale Foundation for Childhood Cancer Research." A large wooden podium sat at the front of the stage, a gold ribbon embellished on the front of it.

There were people all over the room dressed in fancy tuxedos and designer evening gowns. All the women looked as if they had professional, personal stylists and make up artists to help them get ready, and Clary figured they probably actually did have such people at their disposal. The men all gave off an air of arrogance and importance with the way they walked around, their backs straight and heads held high.

"Well, don't you seem like a fish out of water," a voice suddenly said from next to her.

She turned her head to the side to see Sebastian Verlac standing next to her. He was also dressed in a tuxedo and his hair had been gelled back so it was flat against his head. "I'm working, Sebastian," she replied, wishing he would go away. She wasn't sure how Aline or Kaelie would feel about her talking to guests of the event. She was supposed to remain invisible, and talking to Sebastian Verlac definitely did not make her invisible.

"I can see that, Cherry. You're definitely not dressed to attend this type of event, plus you've been banished to the sidelines," he explained. "I've gotta admit, though, you definitely have the whole sexy secretary thing going on right now."

She bristled at his comment. "I'm not a secretary."

He moved even closer to her. "Oh, I know. Sexy nanny just doesn't have the same ring to it."

"Sebby! There you are!" another voice rang out. "We've been looking all over for you."

Aline walked up to the pair, and for the first, and possibly only, time Clary was actually glad to see her.

"Here I am," Sebastian replied, forcing a smile.

Aline moved to stand next to him, shooting Clary a glare. "What are you doing talking to _her_?"

"Cherry and I go way back," he said. "I just came over to say hello."

"Now that you've done the polite thing, Jace and I would really appreciate your company." Aline grabbed him by the arm and started to drag him away. He looked back at Clary and told her he would talk to her later before Aline had pulled him out of hearing distance.

Once they were out of sight, Clary decided to move around the room a little bit. She didn't want Sebastian to be able to find her in the same place she was before. She noticed the others who had been "banished to the sidelines," as Sebastian had put it. There were a lot of security men, standing straight up with their hands clasped in front of them. Clary didn't notice anyone else who could be looking after a child, like her. In fact, there were very few children in attendance to begin with, and she found herself hoping that CeeCee didn't end up being too bored or lonely as the night went on.

She continued to move around the edge of the room until a familiar voice called out her name, causing her to freeze mid-step. The last time she heard that voice it was calling her a gold digger. Telling her that she was useless and would never be loved. Using harsh words and coarse language.

"I would recognize that hair anywhere," Raphael said as he walked up behind her.

Clary stayed silent and continued to face forward. Her heart was hammering in her chest, and the room suddenly felt too small for all the people in it. She couldn't handle him right now. She wasn't at all prepared to even see his face, and she hoped he would just walk away. But that was never Raphael's style. He didn't go down without a fight. In fact, he didn't go down at all.

"It is very rude to ignore someone when they are talking to you, Clarissa," he said, his voice low and threatening.

Clary swallowed hard and forced herself to turn around, not wanting Raphael to cause a scene. "H-Hi," she stuttered.

He looked the same as he had that day he kicked her out. His black hair was a tousled mass on top of his head, and his equally dark eyes scanned her body, sending chills up her spine.

"I see you took care of our little problem," he smirked, his eyes landing on her stomach.

She wrapped her arms protectively around her abdomen. "It's none of your business," she mumbled, casting her eyes away from him.

He took a step toward her, and when she stepped back, she found herself against a wall. He stopped only mere centimeters away from her, placing his hands on the wall on either side of her head and trapping her. He dipped his head so that his face was level with hers. "I do think it's my business," he sneered. "I'm glad to know I no longer have to worry about you coming after me for baby money."

"It was never about money," she stammered out. Panic was clawing its way up her body, and she glanced around the room. Nobody seemed to notice the situation she was in, and she was trying to calculate a route of escape.

"That's what they all say, Clarissa. Is that why you're working for Herondale? Getting practice with a kid and using him to make connections before trying to trap some other poor bastard?"

Clary felt tears well up in her eyes. "It was an accident. I thought you'd be happy!" she choked out."

"You know, I hate to admit it, but you are still looking damn good." He removed one of his hands from the wall and placed it on her hip. "Makes me almost wish we were still together. We can still have fun, though, right?"

Clary recoiled from his touch and felt bile start burn the back of her throat. "Don't touch me," she said, but the demand sounded weak even to her own ears.

He tightened his grip on her hip, his fingers digging in hard enough to leave bruises. "Now, now, Clarissa. You know I don't like it when you talk back to me like that. Or have you somehow forgotten? We haven't been separated for _that_ long."

"I-I'm sorry," she whispered, falling back into her old habit.

She felt a miniscule amount of relief as he loosened his hold, but it was quickly gone as he started to move his hand. He brought her up to her face and cupped her cheek. "You know I always forgive you, hermosa."

She suddenly found it hard to breathe and was struggling to get enough air into her lungs. Her vision began to blur around the edges as his face moved closer to hers. She willed herself to move, to get away, but was frozen to the spot.

Suddenly, Raphael was no longer in front of her and someone was pulling her by the hand toward the exit. She looked back to see Raphael holding a hand over his nose, blood trickling through his fingers. Everyone in the room appeared to have their eyes on her.

Before she could fully register what was happening, she was hit in the face with a rush of cold air and hands were gently putting pressure on her shoulders to get her to sit down.

She sat down, the cold cement of the stairs she was on seeping through the material of her skirt. A jacket was placed around her shoulders, and someone sat down on the steps next to her.

"You gotta calm down, Clare," Simon said, adjusting himself so he could look at her. "Iz is going to be pissed that you are ruining your make up."

Clary hadn't even realized she was crying, but the realization just made her cry harder. She buried her head into her hands as sobs wracked her body.

"Oh, shit. I was trying to make a joke. She's not really going to be mad," Simon quickly tried to explain.

Clary just shook her head, still trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened. She felt so terrible and weak. She had let Raphael have control over her again. She hadn't tried to stop. She'd been too afraid to try anything with him, and she hated it. They weren't even in a relationship anymore. She hadn't seen him in months. He shouldn't still have a hold over her.

She heard the door open and looked up to see Izzy step outside. "Oh, Clary," she sighed, rushing down the steps to kneel in front of her. "Are you okay?" When Clary gave her a silent nod, she turned attention to Simon. "How's your hand, honey?"

Simon held up his right hand and flexed his fingers. "Hurts like a bitch but God was it worth it."

"What happened?" Izzy asked Clary.

Clary shrugged, trying to stop the tears that were running down her face. "H-He cornered me. I didn't know he was here and he came out of nowhere and trapped me and I panicked and—"

Izzy gently shushed her. "It's okay, Clary. Don't get yourself worked up again."

The door opened again, and Clary had a feeling she already knew who it was.

"You better turn your ass around and go back inside, Kaelie," Izzy practically growled, affirming Clary's suspicions.

Kaelie's heels clicked against the cement as she walked down the steps, making sure she was within Clary's line of sight. "I want to know what the fuck just happened. Do you have any idea what kind of scene you just caused?" she practically screamed at Clary and Simon, placing her hands on her hips. "Not only did you embarrass yourselves, but you embarrassed Jace and I."

"You better back the fuck off, Kaelie," Iz seethed. "This is none of your goddamn business, and while Clary might not be able to retaliate because of her job, don't think anything is stopping me."

"Clary will be lucky to still have a job after what she just pulled."

The door squeaked again, and Izzy whipped her head to the side. "Oh great! The whole goddamn gang is here."

"What the hell is going on?" Jace demanded, and Clary flinched at the volume and tone of his voice.

When she heard two pairs of footsteps walking down the stairs, her head snapped up. "Who's watching CeeCee?" she asked, wiping the tears away from her eyes.

"Luke and Jordan since you are apparently incapable of following simple directions," Aline answered, crossing her arms over her chest.

Clary cast her eyes back down, not wanting to see Jace's expression. After what Kaelie said, she honestly would not be surprised if she was fired right then and there. She had caused a huge scene at an important event for him and his company. All she had to do was not draw attention to herself, but she couldn't even manage that.

"That's it!" Izzy shouted, throwing her hands into the air. She stared down Kaelie, Jace, and Aline. "If you are here just to yell at Clary, then I suggest you leave because I am not having any of that right now. The only person who should be concerned about what happened right now is Jace. Clary is his employee and this is _his_ event. You two bimbos" she looked pointedly at Kaelie and Aline, "can go back inside and do damage control."

"But—" Aline started.

"Isabelle is right. You two shouldn't be out here right now," Jace stated.

Aline crossed her arms and huffed but ultimately went inside. Kaelie followed, making sure to throw Clary a dirty look first, though.

"Can I have a moment alone with her?" Jace asked Izzy and Simon.

Izzy gave Clary a questioning look, and Clary nodded. "We'll be right inside if you need us," Izzy said, helping Simon up and leading him through the door.

Sighing, Jace sat down next to Clary. He ran a hand through his hair and stared out at the space in front of them. Simon had pulled her through a service entrance, which meant they were now sitting on a set of stairs facing a back parking lot. The parking lot was mostly empty, and Clary guessed it was mainly used by hotel employees and deliver personnel.

"I'm sorry," Clary blurted out, unable to handle the deafening silence between them.

"I think you should take the rest of the night off," he said, still not looking at her. "I'll call you a cab and have Jordan look after CeeCee for the evening."

Clary's stomach dropped, and she felt a fresh wave of tears sting the backs of her eyes. "You're firing me, aren't you?"

"What?" He turned and gave her an incredulous look. "I'm just telling you take the night off. Look, I don't know what happened, and I have a feeling you don't exactly want to talk about it right now, but whatever it was has obviously put you in a state of distress, and I don't want you working like that. I am in no way firing you. Why would you even think that?"

"Earlier Kaelie said—"  
He groaned and threw his head back. "That woman, I swear. I'm not firing you, and if there ever is an incident that I feel requires the termination of your employment, I will get your side of the story first, okay?"

"Okay," she said, nodding her head.

* * *

Clary walked into the foyer, Simon's coat draped over her arm and her heels in hand. Without even bothering to change, she dumped the coat and shoes on the floor and sat down on the couch. She turned the TV to a random channel and stared blankly at the screen as she played over the night's events in her head.

She was in that same position when Jace came over a little over an hour later, a sleeping CeeCee in his arms. He looked surprised to see her, but didn't say anything as he walked past her and down the hall to CeeCee's room. Clary noticed that Aline didn't come home with him this time.

He reappeared a few minutes later, removing his bow tie and unbuttoning his shirt a little. He plopped himself down next to Clary on the couch and also stared at the screen in front of them.

"You're home early," Clary said.

Jace shrugged. "CeeCee was exhausted and wanted me to come home with her."

"You left your own gala early?"

"I have people who took over for me. I gave my speech and wasn't really required for much else." He took a deep breath and changed the subject. "Simon told me about Raphael."

Clary froze. "Oh?" She couldn't think of anything else to say. Just how much had Simon told Jace? Did he know everything now?

"Honestly, I am disgusted that he would try to force himself on anyone, let alone you. The power dynamic there is so fucked up, but I guess he just can't handle rejection. If I had known he was capable of such appalling behavior, I never would have invited him."

Clary relaxed a little, realizing that Simon had only told him about tonight. Jace didn't know about the history she and Raphael had, and she was hoping that it would stay that way. "It's not your fault."

"I know," he groaned. "I just still feel bad, you know? I'm just glad Simon was there."

Clary nodded. "Yeah. Me too."

Jace slapped his hands on his thighs and stood up. "I'm off to bed. You should really try to get some sleep."

"I will."

"Goodnight, Clary." He started to walk away.

"Goodnight, Jace," she replied.

He paused as he exited the living room, and she could of sworn she saw the hint of a smile forming at his lips.

* * *

 **So I now have two jobs because college is ~expensive~. I'm very unsure of when I'll be able to update again, so I made the chapter longer than usual.**


	8. Chapter 8

A cold gust of wind blew through the air, causing Clary to shiver and pull her coat tighter around her body. Her eyes followed CeeCee as the little girl ran around the playground, squealing and laughing with other children. Clary had really not wanted to go to the park on such a blustery day, but she did not stand a chance against CeeCee when she wanted something.

Another chill ran up Clary's spine, but this time it wasn't from the cold. She scanned the park, her eyes falling on a man standing along the perimeter, staring at her with cold, dark eyes. She immediately recognized him as the man she caught staring at her on the subway one night. Was he following her?

"Everything alright?" Jordan asked, walking up behind her. He had stepped away to take a phone call.

Clary turned head toward him. "There's a—" She tapered off as she turned back to where the man had been standing. He was no longer there, and Clary began to wonder if maybe she had just imagined it. "Nevermind," she muttered under her breath. "Who was on the phone?"

"Luke. Jace seems to have a busy day ahead of him, and he might be a little late tonight. Should be home in time for you to go to work, though," he said as he sat down next to her on the bench.

Clary nodded, looking at the few children on the playground. Jace was spending his Saturday volunteering his services at the oncology unit of the children's hospital. Looking at the healthy, energetic children run around the park, she couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to see those children pale and frail in hospital beds. She remembered how worn and thin her mother had been during illness, and could not fathom what it must be like to watch a child go through that.

"Jesus fuck it's cold out here," Jordan said, breathing air into his hands in an attempt to warm them up. "How did you let her convince us to come out here again?"

"Have you ever seen her pout and give puppy dog eyes?" Clary asked, raising a brow.

Jordan shook his head. "No five-year-old should have that much power."

Clary laughed lightly and glanced at the time on her phone. "We should head back soon anyway. CeeCee has a piano lesson at three."

* * *

Clary sat on the couch, a sketchpad resting on her knees as she drew dark, angry lines harshly across it. The clock on the wall read just after eleven. Jace should have been home hours ago, but there wasn't a single sign of him. She had tried calling him, but he didn't answer. She was tempted to call Jordan and ask him if Luke had told him anything, but she didn't want to bother him while he was at home.

The pencil in her hand snapped in half from the pressure she was putting on it, and she threw it on the floor with a huff. Jace being late would not have been that big of a deal had Clary not had to call out of work at Pandemonium. She knew Bat was mad at her for calling out on such short notice, but she didn't have a choice. She couldn't just leave CeeCee alone, especially when she had no idea where Jace was.

CeeCee was another issue with him being late. She had expected her father to be home before she went to bed, but he had never shown. CeeCee had kept asking where her dad was, and she got as close to a tantrum as Clary had ever seen her. It had taken Clary awhile to calm her down and get her into bed and asleep.

The elevator doors dinged, signaling that someone had arrived. Clary threw her sketchbook down on the couch and stood up. She watched as Jace stumbled into the foyer, his arm around Luke's shoulders. Her eyes met Jace's bloodshot ones, and another wave of anger rushed through her. He had the nerve to come back late _and_ drunk.

"Where the hell have you been?" she ground out.

"Clary!" he slurred, voice loud and eyes wide. "I looked for you at Pandemonium, but you weren't there!" He unhooked his arm from Luke's shoulders and stepped toward the living room. "Why weren't you there?"

She shook her head and put her hand up, motioning for him to stop. "Your daughter is asleep just down the hall. We're not discussing this here." She pointed to the stairs. "Your office. Now."

She gauged his reaction carefully. She never would have dared speak to Raphael like that, especially not in a drunken state, but nothing about Jace conveyed anger or violence at the moment. She knew that might change based on the town she was using with him, but with Luke standing a few feet away, she felt safe.

Jace sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said before he went up the stairs anyway. Clary watched him walk, making sure he made it safely and didn't fall over.

"I can stick around and make sure—" Luke started to say, but Clary cut him off.

"Go home, Luke. I can handle him on my own." Luke did not look too convinced so she added, "I have Jordan's number and can call if I need anything."

This seemed to appease him, and he nodded. "Have a good night, Miss Fray." He paused in front of the elevator. "And try to go easy on him, alright?"

"No promises," she said before going up the stairs.

She was honestly a little surprised to find that Jace had actually gone to his office like she instructed. He was sitting his chair, leaning back with his eyes closed. Clary briefly wondered if he had passed out, but he stirred upon hearing her close the door. He opened his eyes and looked at her, a lazy smile appearing on his face.

"You're really beautiful, you know," he murmured.

Clary ignored the fluttering in her stomach that followed his words. It was just the alcohol speaking, which meant he was probably a very affectionate drunk.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" she demanded.

Jace looked taken aback, clearly not expecting that response to his compliment. "What?"

"What the fuck were you thinking?" she repeated. "What made you think you could just run off and get drunk when your _daughter_ was waiting for you to get home? What on earth possessed you to do that?"

Jace seemed to deflate in his chair, casting his eyes downward. "I-I lost patient today," he said with a barely audible whisper.

Clary's eyes widened and her heart constricted slightly. Most of the anger she had been feeling left her body. She had not been prepared for that response. "Oh, Jace," she said gently, moving to stand closer to him. "I'm so sorry."

He shrugged, still looking down. "It happens often in my field, but it just never gets easier. I should no better than to grow attached to patients."

She carefully placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up at her again. His eyes looked clearer, and she wondered if the somber turn the conversation had taken was sobering him up. "You're human, Jace. These things happen. And I'm here for you if you need anything."

Jace picked her hand off his shoulder, placing in on his cheek and holding it there with his hand. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. "I don't deserve you, Clarissa."

His action and statement had her retracting her original thought of him sobering up. With a soft sigh, she removed his hand from her face and stood up. "We should probably get you to bed."

He nodded in agreement, and she helped pull him up out of the chair. Keeping his hand in hers, she walked him down the hall and stopped outside of his door. Jace's room seemed like an off-limits type thing, and she did not want to overstep any boundaries.

"Do you need any help or are you good from here?" she asked.

"I think I'm good," Jace responded.

Clary dropped his hand and went to leave, but Jace caught her arm.

"Wait," he said. "There's something I've been wanting to do."

Clary's brow furrowed as she looked at him, but she didn't get a chance to ask what he meant. Before she could speak, Jace had moved her around so that her back was flush against the wall. With his hands lightly gripping her hips, he dipped his head and attached his lips to hers.

Shocked, Clary froze for a moment before allowing herself to melt into the kiss. Her hands slowly travelled up his arms, pausing over his biceps, before continuing up and landing in his hair. She weaved her fingers through his golden curls, deepening the kiss.

She allowed herself to get lost in the moment, letting herself fully experience everything. Jace's hands left trails of heat as they frantically moved over body, from her hips to her waist to her ass. His lips were soft and plump and tasted like alcohol and spearmint gum. She felt a coiling in her stomach and a wetness pooling between her thighs.

It was only when she felt Jace's own arousal pressing against her that she regained her senses and pulled away. She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Jace didn't miss a beat after she pulled away, attaching his lips to her neck instead. As he reached that spot right under her ear, she almost forgot why she had pulled away in the first place.

She lightly placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away from her. "We need to stop," she breathed, meeting his gaze. She regretted doing so. His dark, hooded eyes didn't help to lessen the arousal she was feeling, and she found herself tempted to give in to him again.

"I don't see why," he responded, his voice low and husky.

She closed her eyes, not being able to think clearly with the way he was looking at her. "You're drunk and emotionally vulnerable and I'm not taking advantage of you," she rushed out.

"It's not taking advantage if I'm encouraging it," he said, moving to close the distance between them.

She put both hands out in front of her, stopping him. "Jace, please," she whined slightly. "You're not thinking straight."

Besides his current physical state, there was another factor keeping her from wanting resume their previous activity: Aline. She might not have come home with him the night of Clary's encounter with Raphael, but she had definitely still been around. Clary had caught her sneaking out early in the morning before CeeCee was due to be awake one more than once occasion. She didn't want to bring Aline up, though. She didn't want Jace thinking she was jealous, even though she definitely was. She also didn't want to bring her to the front of Jace's thoughts, allowing him to compare Clary to her and ultimately seeing everything that Clary was lacking.

"If it really makes you uncomfortable, we'll stop," he said.

Clary's shoulders sagged in relief. "Thank you," she said. "You really should go to sleep, though."

He nodded again, and Clary offered him a small smile. She bid him goodnight and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before finally walking away, not giving him a chance to try to persuade her again.

* * *

The next morning, Clary was up before anybody else. She hadn't slept well at all. She kept replaying her and Jace's kiss her mind. Sometimes, she found herself lost in a feeling of wanting, wondering what would have happened if she had let thing progress. Other times, she worried about what the morning would bring. If Jace remembered the kiss, what would it mean for them moving forward?

She had just finished pouring two cups of coffee when she heard Jace walk down the stairs. He appeared around the corner, dressed in a pair of low hanging gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt. His hair was more of a tousled mess than usual, and dark circles lay beneath his eyes. Clary's gaze stayed on his lips for a few seconds as she remembered how they had felt pressed against her own.

Clearing her throat, she placed one of the cups of coffee on the breakfast bar and pushed it towards Jace. "Thought you might need this," she said, taking a sip of her own drink.

"Thanks," he responded as he took a long drink from the cup.

"How are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Little hung over, but not too bad."

She shook her head, giving him a sympathetic smile. "That's not what I meant."

He set his cup back down on the breakfast bar, gripping it with both hands and looking down. "I'm managing."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. She didn't want to make any moves before she knew where they stood.

"Not really."

"Okay. That's fine." She took a deep breath. "I-Is that going to be a common occurrence?"

He shook his head, still not looking up. "This was the first time. I just… He was a really great kid, you know? And it really took us all by surprise. He seemed to be doing a lot better. Usually we're more prepared when we lose a patient, but this time it came out of nowhere."

Clary remained silent, not knowing what to say. It's not like she really knew what he was going through. Sure, she had lost her mom, but that was definitely something she had seen coming. Her mother had been withering away for weeks before finally taking her last breath. She had been given false hope with her mom getting better only to have her suddenly lose her life one day. Her mother had also been an adult, not a child. She truly had no idea what Jace was going through at the moment, and it was making it difficult for her to know what to say or do.

"I'm really sorry about last night, Clary," he said, breaking the heavy silence and finally looking up. "I honestly do not remember much, but I shouldn't have behaved the way I did."

"Behaved like what?" she asked quietly, wondering if he was regretting the kiss.

"I shouldn't have gone out drinking like that when I had an obligation to be home. It was a very inappropriate thing to do as an employer."

Clary nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. He still hadn't mentioned the kiss, and it was making her nervous. "Jace, what _do_ you remember from last night?"

"Like I said, not much. I remember Luke bringing me home, and then you making me go up to my office so you could yell at me. That's about it. Why? Did I do something embarrassing?"

Clary's chest tightened. He didn't remember the kiss. She knew she should have been relieved. At least it wasn't going to affect whatever relationship they had. But part of her had been hoping that he'd remember and that he didn't regret it. That he had some sort of feelings for her. It was stupid of her to think that, though. She was his daughter's nanny. His employee. He wasn't going to spend his time chasing after a girl like her while girls like Aline were readily available to him.

"No! Of course not. I was just making sure you remembered our conversation, you know?" she said, trying to keep her voice from breaking. All she wanted to do was run to her room and cry. She felt like a stupid, love-struck teenager, and she hated herself for it.

"I really am sorry. I can pay you whatever you would have made at Pandemonium last night."

Clary rolled her eyes. "It was not about the money, Jace. It was about the _principle._ You had made a promise to be home, and you weren't. CeeCee was asking about you all night."

A frown appeared on his face. "She was?"

"She wanted you to tuck her in and read her a story before she went to sleep. It took forever for me to actually get her down for the night."

He closed his eyes, placing his head in his hands. "I am such a jackass. I was busy getting wasted while my daughter was at home waiting for me. Fuck."

"Yeah. Not going to argue with you there," she said, rinsing out her now empty coffee cup. "Just try to make it up to her today?" She glanced at the clock. "If she's not up within the next half hour, wake her up and take her out today. Just the two of you. She's been on a park kick recently, so maybe start there and then take her to cocoa or something."

He looked up at her and smiled. "That's a really good idea," he said. "God, we don't deserve you."

Clary's heart stuttered at his sentence. It was so close to what he had said to her last night. "It's what I'm here for," she responded, shrugging. "Listen, I'm going to go to Izzy's. Get out of your guys' hair for the day."

Jace cocked his head to the side. "Are you sure? You don't have to do that."

"Izzy and I haven't hung out for awhile, so it's really no problem."

"I'll see you tonight, then?"

"Yeah. See you tonight," she said.

* * *

Clary had taken the subway, despite Jace insisting it was really no big deal if she took one of his cars even though she wasn't on the clock. She had declined, telling him she wouldn't feel right about it. She really had just wanted the time to think, though.

She hated how upset she was. She was being ridiculous. Jace had been drunk when he kissed her. He probably hadn't even fully understood who she was in that moment. Thinking he might actually want her had been stupid on her part. He also didn't even remember the kiss, so being upset was pointless.

Now she was sitting on Izzy's couch, her elbows resting on her thighs and her head in her hands. She had told Izzy everything that had happened and was trying to hold the tears back. Crying over a stupid kiss was not something a grown ass woman like her was supposed to do.

"So you didn't even tell him it happened?" Izzy asked, handing Clary a cup of tea.

Clary gave her a thankful smile and shrugged. "Why would I? It will just complicate things."

"But you can't be one hundred percent sure he doesn't want anything if he doesn't even know it happened. They say drunk words are sober thoughts. I don't see why that can't be applied to actions too."

"He's still with Aline, as far as I know. And you've seen her. I can't compete with someone like that."

Her best friend scoffed. "You are just as attractive as Aline, Clary. Stop shitting on yourself."

Clary let out a humorless laugh. "I'm not in the same social circle as her, Iz. I can't offer Jace anything. I'm just a working class, indebted woman without a full college degree. He's not going to pick me over someone like her."

"Hey! What did I just say? Stop shitting on yourself. You're beautiful, smart, and kind. If he can't see that after living with you for a few months, than that's on him. Not you. Just tell him about the kiss."

"What am I supposed to even say? Hey Jace, just so you know, you kissed me last night and I really liked it and would like for it to happen again?"

"I don't see what's so wrong with that."

"What I do if he rejects me?"

"Move on? At least you'll know how he feels."

Clary groaned and threw her head back against the couch. "It will make things so awkward."

"It might. But so what? You'll both get over it."

Clary closed her eyes, sighing. "I don't know if I can do it. I've never been confrontational or the one to take the first step. You know this."

"If you don't do it, I will, Clare."

She sat straight up and stared at her friend. "You wouldn't dare."

Izzy smiled at her, raising an eyebrow. "Do you really want to risk it Clary? I don't want you being all whiny and mopey for no reason. If he does reject, at least you'll have a reason. And I can kick his ass."

Clary let out a laugh. "I'll have to warn him, then."

"So you'll do it?"

Clary sighed but still offered a smile. "Yeah, I guess."

* * *

Clary spent the day with Izzy having a girls' day. They ate junk food and watched shitty rom coms, kicking Simon out of the living room and into his and Izzy's room when he came home. She was really glad to have a friend like Izzy. Sure, Simon was also her best friend, but she couldn't really talk to him about things like boys. Especially not when that boy was Jace. Simon had always been overprotective when it came to her, and she had a feeling if anything did end up happening between her and Jace it would take Simon awhile to warm up to the idea.

She finally left Izzy's once it was well past CeeCee's bedtime. She didn't want to have to wait around to talk to Jace. She said goodbye to her best friend, promising to let her know how things went.

When she did get home, the only light came from the television screen in the living room. Jace was sitting on the couch, back in his sweatpants and t-shirt. He moved his eyes away from the screen and looked at her.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi," she said back, wrapping her arms around herself. The nerves hit her hard as she realized what she was about to do.

"Did you have a good time with Izzy?"  
"Yeah," she said, stepping into the living room. "It was really nice to spend some time with her."

"That's good." He turned his attention back to the screen.

Clary studied him for a moment. His hair looked slightly damp, indicating he recently took a shower. The circles under his eyes were smaller, and she guessed he had taken a nap with CeeCee earlier in the day. His mouth was slightly open, and Clary felt that familiar tingle in her stomach as she thought about their kiss. Her gaze moved down to his hands, one was holding the remote while the other rested in his lap. She thought about the way his touch had felt and all the other places she wanted to feel those hands.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. "Can I, uh, talk to you about something?"

Jace placed the mute button on the remote. "Of course. What about?"

She kept her arms wrapped around herself and looked down at her feet. "I wasn't completely honest with you earlier, when you asked about last night. You didn't do anything embarrassing, but you did, um, kiss me?" She didn't know why, but it came out sounding more like a question than a statement.

She heard him breathe out heavily. "I wasn't completely honest with you, either," he said.

Her head snapped up. That was not what she expected. "Y-You weren't?"

He clasped his hands in front of him, and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "I lied when I said I didn't remember much. I remember everything, including the kiss."

Clary's stomach dropped and a familiar burning stung the back of her eyes. He remembered. He remembered and he lied about it. That had to mean he regretted it, didn't it? Why else would he act like he didn't know it had had happened. Her mind was racing, and all she could do was force out a pathetic "oh."

She heard Jace curse under his breath. "Please don't take that the wrong way."

"Wrong way?" She blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over.

"You're thinking the worst. I can tell. I pretended like I didn't remember because I- I honestly thought you were upset about it, and I was embarrassed."

"Why did you think I was upset?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "You stopped me."

A short laugh escaped her lips. "Christ, I didn't stop you because I was upset. I stopped you because I didn't want _you_ to be upset. You were drunk and I didn't want you to regret it the morning."

He pushed himself off the couch and stood in front of her, only inches away. "I would never regret it, Clary. I meant what I said last night. I don't deserve you."

"What about Aline?" she asked quietly, avoiding eye contact.

Jace reached out, tucking a finger under her chin and forcing her to look up at him. "Aline and I aren't together, Clary. We've just been passing time. I wouldn't have kissed you, even drunk, if I was in a relationship with someone else."

"Okay," Clary said lamely. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond to that. She was also too distracted by the lust swimming in Jace's eyes to full form a sentence.

"So you weren't upset about the kiss?"  
Clary shook her head, as much as she could with Jace's hold still on her chin. "Quite the opposite," she whispered.

Jace gave her a smirk, moving so he held her face between his hands. "I am so glad to hear you say that," he murmured.

Clary held her breath in anticipation as he ducked his head, his mouth moving closer to hers. Once their lips touch, she felt warmth spreading in her abdomen. Their lips moved together in a familiar dance, and his tongue gently began to explore her mouth, causing her to hold back a moan.

His hands moved away from her face, trailing down her arms and landing on her hips, squeezing tightly. Boldly, she placed her hands at the top of his sweatpants, moving them slowly under his shirt. She took her time feeling his abs, her fingers running over every rise and fall of his muscles. Continuing to move her hands up, she brought them around to his hard back, pulling him tighter to her.

He responded by taking his hands lower, stopping them right below her ass. He pulled her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling him press into her, just centimeters away from where she wanted him the most. Keeping his hold on her, he moved back until his legs hit the edge of the sofa. He sat down, and Clary moved so that her knees were on either side of his waist. She sat herself down on his lap, letting out a soft moan into his mouth as his arousal hit her in just the right spot. His fingers dug into the flesh of her hips in response.

Her hands continued their exploration under his shirt, and he briefly pulled away, allowing her to pull the material over his head. She only got a small glimpse of his stomach before his mouth was on hers again. His hands moved from her hips and up the sides of her torso. They landed on her breasts, giving a slight squeeze. She bucked her hips on him and internally smiled at the groan that came from his throat.

He removed his lips from her mouth, reattaching them to his neck. She tilted her head to the side, giving him more access. His fingers quickly made work of the buttons on her flannel, and soon her shirt was in a pool on the living room floor. He moved his mouth down her neck, nipping and sucking at her skin. He gently ran his tongue along the edge of her bra, causing her to shiver.

She felt his fingers as they moved up her back and deftly undoing the clasp of her bra. She let the straps fall down her arms before removing it and throwing it to the ground with her shirt. He stared at her breasts for a moment before dropping his head again, taking one of her nipples into his mouth. She bit back a cry of pleasure, suddenly aware of where they were and who might hear.

"CeeCee," she managed to get out.

She had expected for Jace to pull away and stop everything, realizing that he was about fuck his daughter's nanny. Instead, he moved his mouth back up her neck, standing up and forcing Clary to wrap her legs around his waist once again. He continued his assault on her neck as he carried up the stairs and to his bedroom. He placed her in the plushness of his bed, her knees bent over the edge of the mattress.

He placed himself between her thighs, trailing kisses back down her body. He stopped at her breasts, taking the other nipple into his mouth. He bit down gently, and this time she did allow herself to cry out. Jace gave her a devilish grin before continuing his journey downward. He ran his lips along the top of her jeans before undoing the button and pulling them down her legs, running kisses down her legs as he did so. He repeated the action as he removed her panties to.

Jace looked up at her, his eyes a smoldering, molten gold before running his tongue along her most private part. She threw her head back, arching her spine as his mouth worked magic on her sensitive flesh. He wrapped his lips around her little bundle of nerves, gently pushing two fingers into her. Her breathing picked up as he sucked on her clit, his fingers pumping in out of her in a "come hither" motion. She felt a tightening deep in her core and gasped as her orgasm took hold of her, her hands reaching down to grip Jace's curly locks.

He moved back up her body as she came down from her orgasm, her hands still entwined in his hair. She brought his face up to hers, pulling him down to kiss her. She knew his lips were covered in her own cum, but she didn't care. As he kissed her hard and passionately, she reached down, sliding her hand under the waistband of her sweatpants. She wrapped her fingers around his hardness and stroked gently, causing him to buck into her hand.

Bringing her feet up, she used them to push down his pants and underwear without having to break their kiss. Ones all clothes were out of the way, Jace brought his hips against hers, rubbing his length along her slit but not making a move to insert it.

She pulled away from, her breathing labored. "Please," she nearly whined.

"Please what?" he asked before sucking on the skin right behind her ear.

She let out a groan. "Please fuck me," she whimpered as his length his her clit once again.

"Are you sure?" he asked, staring into her eyes.

She nodded, a barely audible yes escaping her lips. He grinned at her, leaning over and opening the bedside drawer. He pulled out a little foil packet and tore it open with his teeth. She watched, fascinated as he sheathed himself before lining himself up with her.

Then, he pushed himself into her, giving her exactly what she wanted.


	9. Chapter 9

Clary woke up, slightly damp from sweat. She was hot, too hot, and there was something laying across her stomach. Opening her eyes, she took in her surroundings. Through the curtains, she could tell that it was still dark outside, meaning it had to be the middle of the night or just before dawn. She quickly realized she was not in her room and she was not alone. Memories of her night with Jace flooded her mind, and she rolled over, carefully moving Jace's arm as she did so, to face him.

His face was relaxed, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Clary wasn't sure she had ever seen him look as peaceful as he did in that moment. She'd never really seen him completely stressed out, but she could usually tell there was something gnawing at the back of his mind, whether it had something to do with his job or CeeCee or something in between.

Her eyes were wandering down his naked torso as she thought this, and she stiffened. Everything suddenly hit her. She was one of those in between things. She was his daughter's nanny. She was his employee. He signed her paychecks. He was her boss. She had _slept_ with her boss. The panic began to settle in as what-ifs ran through her mind.

What happened when he realized the same things she did? What if he regretted it? What if he thought it was all a mistake? What if he ended up firing her? That was not something she could afford to happen, and she didn't mean that just financially. She felt like she belonged there, which was rare for her. Sure, she had a feeling of belonging with Izzy and Simon, but that was starting to slip away. Izzy and Simon were creating their own life together. Clary knew she would always have a place in it, but not that place was going to get smaller, and she knew she needed something more. Something like what she felt when she was with CeeCee and Jace. She didn't think she could stand losing that.

Tears stung the back of her eyes, and she suddenly felt like she couldn't get enough air into her lungs. She removed Jace's arm from her body and slid out of the bed. She quickly found her discarded jeans and underwear and pulled the underwear on before quietly exiting the room. As she passed through the living room downstairs, she picked up the rest of her clothes, pausing briefly to throw on her shirt.

Back in her room, she finally let the tears fall. She had fucked up. She had really fucked up. She had let herself get lost in the moment, not thinking at all about the possible ramifications. She had been so focused on Jace and what he was doing to her body that she hadn't even stopped to think about what would come after.

Part of her was saying that she was overreacting, that she was getting upset about something that hadn't even happened yet. Something that might not actually happen. That part of her was very small, though. Life hadn't been the kindest thing to her, especially when it came to men. She wanted Jace to be different, but she wasn't about to get her hopes up.

She slid into her bed, glancing at the clock as she did so. It was just after four in the morning, and she still had a few hours before she had to get up and start getting CeeCee ready for school. Pulling the comforter up to her chin, she closed her eyes, willing her racing thoughts to stop and wishing for sleep to come to her soon.

* * *

Jace was gone by time she got up, and she was extremely thankful for that. She wasn't prepared to talk to him yet, and didn't want to have to deal with awkwardly trying to avoid him. She didn't know how she was going to handle it when he came home from work later but ultimately decided that was something that could be dealt with when the time came. For now, she was just going to focus on getting CeeCee ready for the day.

After showering and getting dressed, she woke up CeeCee. She ran a bath for her but allowed her to bathe herself. She kept the bathroom door open, though, making sure she would be able to hear if something went wrong. CeeCee was a very independent child, but Clary wasn't about to leave her completely unsupervised in the tub just yet.

Imogene had breakfast ready by the time CeeCee was ready for school. Clary sat at the breakfast bar and listened as CeeCee told her all about her day with her father in between bites of scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. She nodded and smiled as CeeCee talked about how they went to the park and Jace pushed on the swings. They had then gone to the children's museum. Her favorite part had been the Dora and Diego exhibition. After that, Jace had taken her to get hot chocolate and even let her get extra mini marshmallows on top.

Clary was glad that CeeCee had had such a good day with her father. He definitely owed it to her. However, the last thing she wanted to do was talk about him. She was trying to push him out of her mind for now, but she couldn't exactly ask a child not to talk about their parent. So, she just sat there with a half-forced smile plastered on her face as CeeCee recalled their day.

Once CeeCee was done eating, Clary called Jordan to make sure he was ready to drive them to the school. He confirmed he was down in the garage, ready to go. She led CeeCee to the garage, strapping her into the car seat in the back of the Escalade before getting in next to her. She had been working for Jace for months and still felt weird riding in the large SUV. It reminded her of the types of cars celebrities were driven around in, and it wasn't the type of car she ever expected to even step foot in.

At the school, Clary helped CeeCee out of the vehicle and watched her walk through the front doors of the school, making sure she got in alright. She then got back into the car, this time in the passenger seat. Jordan turned off the children's playlist that had been playing for CeeCee and switched over to his own music. Loud rock filled the car, which was his usual choice of music once CeeCee was dropped off.

Clary stared out the passenger window, her gaze falling on the side view mirror. There was an SUV behind them, a black Yukon with heavily tinted windows. She didn't know why, but something about it was giving her weird vibes. She knew it was ridiculous. It was just a car, and there had to be tons of people in New York who drove black SUVs. She herself was in one. Yet, she couldn't shake the odd feeling in her stomach. Noting the license number, just in case she needed it, she turned to look out the windshield instead.

She had been so distracted by the car behind them that she hadn't noticed the fact that Jordan was not driving toward home.

"Where are we going?" she asked, looking around at the unfamiliar buildings.

He glanced at her, giving her a nervous smile. "Mr. Herondale's office. He wants to talk with you."

She stiffened in her seat. "Why?"

Jordan shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him. "He didn't say."

Clary bit the inside of her cheek as knots began to form in her stomach. Why did Jace want to speak to her? And why did he want her to talk to him at his office instead of at home? Her fears from earlier hit her full force again. He was going to fire her. He decided that last night had been a mistake, and didn't want to deal with any of the awkward aftermath.

"What do you think he wants?"

He shrugged again. "Fuck if I know. He doesn't usually call his home employees to his work office, though. Hopefully it's not bad."

"You're not helping," she groaned, throwing her head back against the seat.

"Well, have you done anything you shouldn't have?" he questioned.

She remained silent for a moment. Technically, there wasn't a rule against sleeping with her boss. That didn't mean it wasn't something she wasn't supposed to do, though. "I don't know. Maybe," she finally responded."

"Maybe? How do you maybe do something wrong?"

Clary shook her head. "Look, I don't really want to talk about it."

"I'm going to be really pissed if you did do something to get your ass fired," Jordan sighed.

She scoffed. "Why would you care?"

He looked at her for a second, smirking. "Because I actually like you and don't want to get stuck watching some old hag or something if you get cut loose."

"Thanks, I guess," she said, crossing her arms and leaning back in the seat.

She glanced in the rearview mirror and saw the same car still behind them. She debated saying something to Jordan but figured he was already aware. After all, he did not get paid to be oblivious to what was going on around him. She also figured she was probably thinking too much into it. Whoever was driving could easily just be going in the same direction as them.

Joran finally turned into a parking garage, and Clary watched as the other SUV kept driving down the road. She felt slightly relieved, knowing she had been worrying about nothing. The rest of her was still on edge, though. She didn't know what Jace wanted from her, and she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to know.

Jordan pulled into a reserved parking space and looked over at Clary before turning the engine off. "Are you ready?" he asked.

She let out a sigh. "I guess," she said, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the car door.

Jordan led her to an elevator and pushed the button for the top floor. Clary inwardly groaned as she realized she had to anxiously wait in the elevator for forty floors. She crossed her arms over her body again and started tapping her foot on the floor. Jordan glanced at her, a small frown on his face, but didn't say anything. Clary thought about what he had said earlier, and found it oddly comforting that he would be upset if she lost her job. She hadn't expected to really make an impression on anybody else that worked for Jace, even if they were paid to follow her around whenever she was with CeeCee.

The doors slid open to reveal the top floor. A few feet from the elevator was a large receptionist desk with a beautiful woman seated behind a computer screen. To the right of the desk was a waiting room, and to the right was a large wooden door. Clary assumed that was Jace's office, considering there weren't any other doors around. She was slightly surprised that he had an entire floor to himself, though. That seemed a bit excessive.

"Hello, Catarina," Jordan grinned, approaching the desk. Clary reluctantly followed him.

"Kyle," she said, not even looking up at him.

"Why are you always so cold to me, sweetheart?" he asked, his grin spreading wider.

Catarina looked up, her dark blue eyes narrowing at him. "Because you don't know how to leave me alone. You here to ask me out again?"

"As much as I would like to, I'm actually here on an errand. I have a Miss Fray here for Mr. Herondale."

Catarina turned attention to Clary, seeming to just notice she was there. "I was told he would be expecting you," she said. "I'll let him know you're here."

Clary nodded, feeling extremely uncomfortable. Catarina picked up the phone on her desk and punched a button. Clary heard her talking to Jace, telling him that she had arrived. She hung up the phone a few seconds later, telling Clary she was all set to go in.

"Please tell me you're taking this one with you," Catarina said, nodding her head in Jordan's direction.

Clary smiled awkwardly. "Unfortunately, I am not," she said.

Catarina rolled her eyes. "What a shame."

Jordan turned his attention to Clary. "It'll be fine," he said, giving her a reassuring smile.

She took a deep breath before walking toward the door. She cautiously opened the door, stepping in and closing it behind her. Jace was sitting behind a large dark oak desk, a phone pressed to his ear. He looked up her and motioned for her to sit as he continued whatever conversation he was having.

She followed his instructions, sitting in one of the two plush black chairs across from him. She looked around his office as he talked on the phone. There were a few paintings hanging on the auburn red walls. A black leather couch was against one of the walls with a glass coffee table sitting in front of it. On the opposite wall was a drink cart and mini fridge. The most impressive aspect of his office had to be the windows, though. They were floor-to-ceiling and overlooked the city. It was an amazing view, and Clary felt it had to be some sort of crime for Jace to have his back facing those windows most of the time.

Clary focused on Jace again as she heard him mention Jordan's name. "He's up here. I want you to take him with you, just in case," he said to whoever was on the other line. "Keep me updated."

Jace ended the call, placing his phone on the desk in front of him. He ran a hand through his hair, and an image of her own hands running through that hair flashed across her mind. She quickly shook away the memory, not needing to be thinking of that at the moment.

"Everything all right?" she asked after a half minute of silence had passed.

Jace placed his elbows on the desk and leaned into his hands. "You tell me," he said, staring straight into her eyes.

"What?" she asked. He was the one that called _her_ in. If something was not all right, he would be the one to know.

"You left," he said simply. "I want to know why."

She narrowed her eyes at him, tilting her head to the side. "Are you kidding me?" she hissed. Jace slightly recoiled, looking taken aback by her response. "You brought me all the way down here for _this_?"

"Yes?" Jace responded, suddenly sounding unsure of himself.

"Do you realize how unprofessional that is?" It was not lost on her that she was not exactly in a position to be talking about professionalism. "That is a total abuse of power. I thought you were going to fire me or something, Jesus."

Jace quickly regained his composure, leaning across the desk with a smirk on his face. "We are far past the point of professionalism, now. And you're avoiding the question, Miss Fray."

"And you're avoiding admitting you made a mistake," she shot back.

"Alright," he said, putting his hands up in surrender and leaning back in his chair. "I'm sorry. I should not have brought you here for personal reasons. But since you're already here, we might as well talk."

Crossing her left knee over her right, she looked back out the window behind him. She didn't say anything for a few moments, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. Jace continued to lean back in his chair, and she could feel his burning gaze on her.

"I was scared," she finally said, still looking out the window.

"Of?" Jace pushed.

"The repercussions."

She heard him shift in his seat but continued to avoid looking at him. "What repercussions?" he asked.

"You realizing it was a mistake, that we shouldn't have done what we did, and whatever course of action you decided to take."

He was silent for a few seconds. "Do you think it was a mistake?"

His voice was quiet, and something in it caused her to look at him again. He was staring intensely at her, his eyes begging her to give him the answer he wanted.

"No," she said honestly. She should think it was a mistake. You didn't sleep with your boss, especially not when you came from two completely different worlds. She wanted to think it was a mistake. That way she could put an end to it before she risked anything more. But deep down, she didn't think it was a mistake. It was something she had _wanted_ to happen, and she had enjoyed it.

Letting out a breath, Jace smiled. "I don't either."

Clary felt relieved at his answer. He didn't think it was a mistake. She had been worried about nothing all day. There was something else nagging at her, though. Where did this leave them? Was it a one-time thing? Was it going to become something more? Were they going to be fuck buddies or something more serious?

"What now?" she blurted out.

Jace cocked his head to the side. "I mean, I was kind of hoping we could see where things go."

Clary fought the urge to grin at his response. He actually wanted her, and while that made her want to get out of the chair and do a happy dance, there was one problem facing them.

"What about CeeCee?" she asked. "We can't just 'see where things go' with her being in the middle. If things go south, I don't want it affecting her."

"Then we keep things on the down low for now," he said simply.

"Down low," she repeated. "So like secret?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know it doesn't sound good, but I think it's the best option. We see where things go when CeeCee is in bed or at Kaelie's and keep it to ourselves. At least until we know where everything is headed. If we do end up becoming something serious, and we're confident it'll be more than just a fling, we let people know. That way, we can be as sure as we can that CeeCee doesn't get hurt in the process. If things go south, as you so eloquently put it, nobody is the wiser, and CeeCee won't be involved."

"I just don't want her to be upset if I'm suddenly no longer there," Clary admitted. She knew CeeCee was growing attached to her, and she didn't know how the little girl would handle it if she was just gone one day.

Jace's brow furrowed, and he frowned. "Why do you always think I'm going to fire you?"

She shrugged. "Prepare for the best, expect the worst?"

"Listen, Clary, no matter what happens between us personally, I will not let it affect us professionally." She gave him a pointed look. "Okay, except for today. But you are doing such a great job with CeeCee, and I'm not going to let my personal choices affect her. If we don't work out, you will still have a job. I promise. CeeCee adores you and you're going to have to really fuck up for me to even consider letting you go. "

Clary nodded, but before she could say anything, her phone rang in her pocket. Shooting Jace an apologetic look, she pulled it out and answered, noting the call was coming from CeeCee's school.

"Is this Miss Fray?" the woman on the line asked.

"This is her," Clary responded.

"Hi, I'm the school nurse here and CeeCee came to me saying she felt unwell. She's running a fever, and our policy requires students with fevers to stay home. Are you available to pick her up as soon as possible?"

Clary glanced at Jace, who was watching her. "Yeah, of course. I'll be right there." Jace gave her a questioning look as she hung up the phone and stood up. "CeeCee's sick. I need to go pick her up from school," she explained, heading toward the door.

"Wait," he said. "Jordan went with Luke to take care of a security matter. The keys for the Escalade should be downstairs. If you're okay with driving. I can call and get Jordan here—"

Clary cut him off, laughing lightly. "Jace, it's fine. Don't worry about it. The sooner I pick up CeeCee, the better."

He nodded before offering a small smile. "I'll see you tonight?"

"See you tonight," she replied.

* * *

Clary had CeeCee buckled into her car seat as she carefully drove toward home. She had never driven a car even close to the size of the Escalade, and she didn't want to cause an accident, especially with CeeCee in the back. When she had picked CeeCee up from school, the little girl was burning up. Clary thought it was odd considering she had been fine in the morning. However, CeeCee had been to the children's museum the previous day, and there was no telling what she could have caught there.

Clary looked in the rearview mirror to see how CeeCee, who was currently asleep in her car seat, was doing. Her eyes widened as she noticed the car that was behind them. A black Yukon. Part of her wanted to shake it off. It was a popular model car around the city. The rest of her was about to go into panic mode, though, as that unsettling feeling filled her stomach again. The vehicle was too far back for her to read the plates, so she couldn't even be sure that it was the same one from earlier.

She pressed her foot down on the gas a little more, speeding up. The unsettling feeling grew as the car behind also picked up speed. If the car was following her, she didn't want to lead whoever was driving it to the penthouse. If the driver didn't already know where she was going, she didn't want them to find out. She took a few random turns, seeing if she could shake the vehicle, but the car followed her at every turn.

Panic began to completely settle in at that point. Her heart rate picked up significantly and sweat coated her palms. She pushed down harder on the gas, but the Yukon only followed suit. In fact, it sped up more, closing in on Clary. At a loss for what to do, she pressed a button on the radio screen. The car was Bluetooth enabled and currently connected to her phone.

The sound of a line ringing filled the car, and she silently prayed for Jace to pick up. She cussed under her breath when the phone went to voicemail, and she tried dialing again. She knew the phone was about to go to voicemail again when Jace finally picked up.

"Clary? What's going on?" he asked, clearly concerned, knowing she wouldn't call his personal line unless it was important.

"I'm being followed," she said, her voice thick. Tears burned at the back of her eyes, but she held them in. She couldn't lose control of her emotions. She had to try to remain calm. If she let the panic fully take over she would be at risk of making a mistake. That was not something she could afford to let happen with CeeCee in the back.

"What do you—"

He was cut off as the Yukon sped up enough to hit the back of the Escalade. CeeCee woke up at the impact, a cry coming from her mouth. Her panicked eyes met Clary's in the rearview mirror as Clary pressed even harder on the gas.

"What's happening?" Jace shouted through the phone.

"Daddy?" CeeCee called out at the sound of his voice.

Clary ignored her, though. She had to focus on getting them both safely out of this situation. She took a sharp turn, cutting off another car, hoping to lose the Yukon. And she did for a few brief seconds before it was right behind her again.

"What is happening, Clary?" Jace demanded again.

"We're being followed, and I can't lose them," she yelled back.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know," she said, her voice cracking.

"You don't know?" Jace growled.

"I was trying to lose them and took a bunch of turns. I don't know where I am. Nothing looks familiar," she said as she took in her surroundings.

"Shit, okay." Jace paused for a second. "I'll see if Luke can track the car, just continue driving. Try to lose him and avoid any accidents. I'll call you right back."

He ended the call and a heavy silence fell. A few tears leaked from Clary's eyes, and she quickly brushed them away. Now was not the time to lose it. She glanced back again, checking how far way the Yukon was. It was still right behind her, but making no move to hit her again. She then looked at CeeCee, who had tears streaming down her face.

"Everything's going to be okay, sweetie," she said as convincingly as she could. All CeeCee did was sniffle in return.

Clary continued to drive, taking sharp turns every now and then, trying to catch the other driver by surprise. However, the driver always managed to follow right behind her. Sometimes they would fall back after getting blocked by a car, but they caught up every time.

It felt like hours before the phone started to ring again. Clary immediately hit the answer button.

"Jace?" she said, her voice pleading.

"Sorry, Miss Fray," Luke's voice came through the speakers. "You're stuck with me for right now. There's a tracker on the Escalade, and I'm following your movements. I need you to listen to me and follow my instructions very carefully, okay?"  
Clarry nodded, and then realized he wasn't able to see her do so. "Okay," she responded, her grip tightening on the steering wheel.

"Keep in mind that I can only see you, not any of the traffic around you. You just have to bear with me. Now, in two streets I need you take a left, alright?"

Clary followed his instructions. She took the turn at the last minute in another desperate attempt to lose the car behind her. Just like every other time, it didn't work.

"Good job," Luke said. "Now, there's an on ramp to the expressway coming up. Take that." Clary did as he said. "Is the other vehicle still behind you?"

"Yes," she said, glancing in the rearview mirror again. "Like right behind me."

"I need you to get into the center lane, okay?"

Clary swerved into the center lane, narrowly avoiding another car. The Yukon driver also got into the lane, speeding up on the car she had cut off until it moved out of their way and they were right behind her again. "They're still behind me," she said, even though he hadn't asked.

"Listen very carefully to me, Miss Fray. The second you get the chance, I need you take an exit at the last possible second. Cut someone off in the right lane, I don't care. Just make sure that there's no way for the vehicle behind you to follow without hitting someone. I think this is the only way you'll lose him, do you understand?"

"Yes," she said, tightening her grip even more. She heard the sound of a honking horn coming from his end. "Where are you?" she asked.

"In another vehicle. Jordan is driving. We're going to catch up to you as soon as we can. But I really need you to focus, okay?"

"Right, sorry."

"There's an exit coming up in a couple hundred feet. If you can make that one, it would be preferable."

Clary glanced at the right lane. There was just enough space for her to squeeze through if she needed to. She kept right behind the open space, hoping that if she punched the gas to get through it, the Yukon driver wouldn't have the time to follow.

The exit lane started next to the right lane, and Clary kept her eye on it. She waited until there was just barely a cars length left of space in the lane to make her move. She slammed her foot on the gas pedal, forcing the car to hurtle forward. She jerked the wheel to the right, just barely missing the car she had been driving next to and narrowly making it onto the off ramp.

She looked in the review mirror again, and let out a sob of relief when she didn't see the Yukon right behind her. She knew the right lane had been heavily filled with traffic, and the driver's chances of making onto her off ramp were slim to none. She didn't want to completely put it past them to pull it off, though, and she kept her speed up as she came off the expressway.

"Are you still being tailed?" Luke asked.

"No," Clary choked out. "I don't think so."

She heard him let out a heavy breath. "Okay. That's really good. We're near you, and I'm going to direct you to us okay?"

She followed his directions, turning when and where he told her to. She kept her eye on the rearview mirror, though, making sure the Yukon didn't make an appearance again. CeeCee was still crying in the backseat, and all Clary wanted to do was comfort her. She couldn't quite yet, though. She wouldn't feel like they were totally in the clear until they were with Jordan and Luke.

Finally, she turned into a half-empty department store parking lot. Toward the back of the parking lot was a lone black sedan, which she knew was where Luke was. She pulled in next to the sedan and had just barely put the car in park when Jace burst out of the other car's backseat. He rushed over, throwing open the backdoor and making quick work of CeeCee's car seat.

"Oh my God, CeeCee," she heard him breathe out as he pulled his daughter out of the car. "You're alright."

She didn't hear CeeCee's response as Jace walked away from the SUV with his daughter in his arms. Clary remained where she was, staring blankly out the windshield with her hands still on the steering wheel. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, and she finally allowed herself to cry freely.

A hand touched her arm, startling her. She hadn't even realized someone had opened her door. Turning her head, she saw Jordan standing there, concern etched into his features. Behind him, the black sedan, and Jace and CeeCee, were already gone.

"They went home with Luke," he explained, following her line of sight. "I'm going to drive you home now, okay?"

She nodded but didn't move. Jordan leaned over and unbuckled her seatbelt.

"I'm going to need you to let go of the wheel, Clary," he said softly.

Clary did as instructed. She hadn't noticed that she was still gripping it, he knuckles white. Joran moved the seatbelt completely off her, offering her his hand and helping her out of the car. With his hand on her back, he guided her to the seat right behind the driver's. She numbly buckled herself in and waited for Jordan to get in and start driving.

She looked out the window, watching the city pass by as he drove. Everything suddenly hit her, and she started crying harder. She could have died. _CeeCee_ could have died. What would have happened if she hadn't noticed the car behind them? What if she had led whoever it was right to the penthouse? She didn't know what the driver had wanted, but it obviously wasn't good.

By the time they got home, the tears had dried up and she felt exhausted. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and pretend like none of it had happened. Luck wasn't on her side, though, as the elevator doors opened to reveal Luke and another man standing in the foyer. The man quickly introduced himself to Clary as a detective with the NYPD, saying he needed to ask her a few questions.

Clary went through the motions of talking with him, telling him everything she knew. She gave him the make and model of the vehicle, along with the license plate number. The detective was very appreciative of the fact she had noticed it. She also told him about how the same vehicle had been following them earlier. Jordan confirmed that part of the story, saying he also noticed the vehicle, but it had driven past them once he pulled into the parking garage.

The detective then went on to ask about motive, wanting to know if there was anybody who would want to harm her or Jace. She shrugged, saying she didn't know. She didn't have any enemies that she could think of. Jace probably did, but there was no way for her to know. That was when Luke stepped in to say there wasn't anybody he could think of specifically that would be after Jace or his daughter.

Once the detective got everything he needed and left, Clary stood awkwardly in the foyer with Luke and Jordan. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and stared at the floor, unsure about what to do.

"Jace is taking care of CeeCee right now if you want to go lay down or something," Luke offered.

She nodded mutely and started towards her room but stopped when Luke called out to her.

"You did a really great job today, kid. You should be proud," he said.

Clary forced a small smile at him, but still didn't say anything as she walked to her room. She went straight into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a tangled mess from constantly running her hands through it, and her face was red and puffy from crying. She threw her hair up into a bun and took her time washing her face. She then changed into a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt, trying to find some sort of comfort.

There was a knock on her bedroom door, and she quietly padded over to open it. Jace stood in the doorway, his hands shoved into the pockets of his suit pants. He had taken off his jacket and tie, leaving the first few buttons of his shirt undone. "Can I come in?" he asked warily.

Clary nodded, moving aside so he could step in. She closed the door behind him and leaned against the doorjamb with her arms crossed. "How's CeeCee?" she asked.

He ran a hand through his already messy hair and sat on the edge of her bed. "I don't know. She seemed really shaken up. I couldn't get her to calm down and ended up calling her pediatrician. Since she's already sick, he just told me to give her some children's NyQuil to at least get her asleep." He was quiet for a moment, looking down at his shoes. "How are you doing?" He looked up at her, his voice low.

She shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "I'm fine."

"Bullshit," he said bluntly. "I just talked to Jordan. It doesn't sound like you're fine."

Rolling her eyes, she pushed off the doorjamb. "What do you want me to say, Jace?"

"The truth would be a nice start."

She sighed heavily, sitting down next to him. Placing her elbows on her knees, she put her head in her hands. "I'm freaked out, okay?" she admitted. "We could have been killed. Something could have happened to CeeCee. I could have—"  
Jace gently placed a hand on her back and cut her off. "Hey," he said softly, "stop focusing on the could have's. There were a lot of things that could have happened, but they didn't. I know what just happened must have been terrifying, but you're okay, and that's all that matters."

Clary leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He moved his hand from her back and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her tighter against him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, placing a soft kiss on her temple.

Her brow furrowed. Why was he apologizing? Nothing that happened was his fault. "For what?"

"For not checking in on you sooner."

She pulled away from his slightly in order to look at his face. "Don't apologize for that," she said, frowning. "You were with your _daughter_. She comes first, Jace."

Clary honestly hadn't thought anything about it when Jace had left with CeeCee. She was still his employee, and they had just a few hours ago decided to try being something more. Even if they had been dating, she wouldn't have been upset about it. He was a father, and she knew and understood he was always going to be a father first.

He gave her a faint smile and pulled her into his side again, rubbing his hand gently up and down her arm. "Thank you for being so understanding." He gave her another kiss, this time on the crown of her head.

"What happens now?" she asked quietly, picking up his free hand and lightly tracing patterns on his palm.

"I'm upping security protocol. The plates came up stolen, and we have no idea who was behind the wheel, which means we don't know who they were after. Not only is Jordan to go everywhere with you and CeeCee with absolutely no exceptions, I also want you to have someone with you if you leave alone."

She scoffed and moved to pull away again, but he held her against him. She settled for awkwardly angling her head to see his face. "I can handle myself, Jace."

She had always been an independent person. Even when her mom was still around, she still tended to take care of herself. Now with her mom gone, she had become an expert at it. She had survived the streets of New York by herself at night just fine for the past few months. She was sure she'd be fine with whoever had followed her and CeeCee. The day's situation had freaked her out, but that had just been a brief moment of weakness. Now that she knew there was someone out there, someone who might want to harm her, she was going to make sure she was more diligent and aware.

"I'm not saying you can't," Jace said. "I would just feel better if you had someone with you."

"That's a waste of money and resources."

"Honey, neither of those things are a problem for me. What would be a problem for me is if something happened to you. Yes, I was terrified that something was going to happen to CeeCee when I was on the phone with you, but I was also worried about you. If something had happened to you and it had been my fault, I don't know what I'd do. So, please, just ease my mind?"

She took a moment to think about it, her heart constricting in her chest. He sounded so sincere, and she believed he truly cared about her safety.

"Okay," she said, giving in. " _But_ nobody is to follow me into work. They can pick me up and drop me off and whatever, but security at Pandemonium is sufficient enough." She didn't want whatever personal security he hired to interfere with her job.

"Fair enough," he said, giving her a genuine smile. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered.

He let out a light chuckle. "CeeCee should be out for awhile, and I took the rest of the day off so I can be here with her. I want you to take the afternoon off and just decompress. It's been a rough day."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind. I—"  
"Clary, you need to take some time for yourself right now. I'm fully capable of handling my daughter for the afternoon."

Once again, she gave into him. "Okay," she sighed.

"Get some rest," he instructed as he stood up. Placing a chaste kiss on her lips, he slipped out of her room to go check on his daughter again.

* * *

 **I was stuck in airports for hours while trying to get back to school, so here you go.**


	10. Chapter 9 JPOV

**Quite a few of you have been asking for some sort of Jace POV. However, this story is one that really needs Clary's POV to move it forward. So I compromised and attempted the previous chapter from his point of view. I'm about to start working on Ch. 10 but school also just began so we'll see how that goes.**

* * *

Jace groaned into his pillow, hitting the snooze button as his alarm went off. He reached his hand out to the other side of the bed, frowning as it came in contact with cold sheets. He cracked open his eyes and found the left side of his bed to be empty. That was definitely not what he had been expecting. He was expecting, and looking forward to, waking up and seeing Clary laying there, her red tendrils fanned out across his pillow like they had been the night before.

He rolled over slightly, finding that the sheets on that side still smelled like her—vanilla with a hint of citrus. He remembered being enveloped in that scent last night, his nose nuzzled into the crook of her neck as he thrust into her over and over. He pushed the memory out of his mind as he felt himself begin to harden. With a sigh, he forced himself out of bed and started his morning routine.

The same question kept floating around his head as he got ready for the day. Why? Why had she left? Had he done something wrong? Had he not read things correctly? There was nothing he wanted more than to talk to her as the morning went on, but as the minutes ticked by, he knew he was running out of time.

Driving to the office, the question still was at the forefront of his thoughts. He knew he wouldn't be able to concentrate without talking to her and getting some answers. He had important investor meetings lined up for the afternoon and needed a clear head to get through them. After pulling into his parking spot, he sent off a quick text to Jordan, asking him to bring Clary by once they dropped CeeCee off at school.

He spent the beginning of his work morning pouring over paperwork and sending emails back and forth with researchers in the labs. They were working on developing an alternative to chemotherapy that would have less terrible side effects—a project Jace was funding with his own money. They had made progress but were still not anywhere near close to going through human trials yet. Jace figured it didn't help that he'd had to fire a researcher in June and hadn't been able to replace him yet.

He tried to keep himself focused on the tasks at hand, but his mind kept wandering back to Clary. He couldn't remember a time when a woman got to him as much as Clary did. He'd been quite promiscuous before Kaelie. Even with Kaelie, the main reason for him settling down was CeeCee. He was ready to settle for Kaelie, willing to marry her and everything, but they both realized staying together wasn't in theirs or CeeCee's best interest. After that, he knew he couldn't go back to having random women coming in and out of his life. Not with CeeCcee to worry about.

Then Clary came into his life. Even after their first interaction at the mall he found himself thinking about her often. It probably hadn't helped that CeeCee constantly had brought her up, hoping to see the kind woman again. He had honestly been shocked when Clary had been the woman to show up for the nanny interview. Usually, he did thorough background checks on potential employees _before_ the interview process, but he hadn't had the time and was getting desperate to have the position filled.

Despite his odd attraction to her and his desperation to get a new nanny for CeeCee, he had found himself reluctant to hire her. She didn't have any sort of professional childcare experience, and everyone he had hired previously had at least some sort of childcare training. However, between Iz and Alec vouching for her and her own argument in defense of herself, he had ultimately decided to offer her the position.

One part of her argument that had stuck out was her taking care of her mother. He found it extremely selfless of her to drop out of college in order to do so. Then, during his routine background check, he had discovered she recently lost her mother. He didn't get any specifics on what the illness was, but he was all too familiar with the pain of losing a parent, especially after losing both of his. He found himself wanting to know how she was dealing with the tragedy, but during their time together, he noticed she would usually change the subject whenever her mother was brought up. He guessed it was a sore subject for her still, and he decided not to let her know he knew. He figured she would talk about it on her own whenever she felt comfortable enough.

That was something that was out of character for him. If he wanted to know something, he usually demanded the information. Something kept him from doing that with her, though. In fact, she made him do a lot of things that were out of character for him. For instance, she often slightly bent his rules when it came to CeeCee, and instead of reprimanding her for it, he found himself letting her go ahead with it, having convinced him it was for the best.

He even hadn't been too worried about her talking back to Kaelie. At least, until that came back to bite him in the ass. He had liked that she tried to put Kaelie in her place, but Kaelie was definitely not a fan of that. When Kaelie had threatened to try to get more shared custody with CeeCee if Jace didn't "put the help in her place," he knew he couldn't allow Clary to carry on how she was. He had lashed out at her after that conversation with Kaelie, which had strained their relationship for a while, but he couldn't do anything to risk losing CeeCee.

He had actually been extremely upset when Clary was being cold and distant toward him. Since having her around, he had found himself becoming more and more attracted to her. She wasn't the type of woman he normally went after, and maybe that was a good thing. She wasn't stuck up on the material things, and she cared more about CeeCee than he thought Kaelie did. There was also the fact that she was his employee, though. Normally, he did all he could to make sure there were no crossed lines, even terminating contracts with those who became too flirty. However, he had hurdled over that line with Clary.

He had been tiptoeing around the idea of pursuing her, but after that night when Raphael had tried to force himself on her, something in him snapped. Not only had he become overwhelmed with this urge to protect her, but he realized that there were other men interested in her. He had been stupid to have not realized that sooner. After all, Clary was an amazing woman. She beautiful, kind, funny, and didn't take shit from anybody. The realization had only made him want to claim her more.

However, he wasn't sure how to go about it. He didn't know how she felt about him, and he didn't want to risk losing one of the best things that had happened to him and CeeCee. That night, he had drunkenly lost his inhibitions, though. He felt terrible that that had been how things went down, but he was still glad they did. He needed that push to pursue what he had really wanted. She had stopped his advances that night, though, and he thought he had upset her. That had led him to pretend he didn't remember it had happened. When she brought it up and said she hadn't been upset by the kiss, he felt like things were suddenly starting to fall into place. And when they had progressed past kissing, he knew for sure he wanted her as something more.

But then she had disappeared from his bed in the middle of the night, like he had done often before with his one-night stands. He was hoping that wasn't what she saw it as. He wasn't even sure what he would do if that was the case. He obviously wouldn't fire her. He couldn't do that to CeeCee, plus it would open up a whole can of worms he didn't want to deal with. He wasn't sure he could handle seeing her day in and day out, knowing she wasn't his, though.

He was pulled out of his thought by a ringing from his desk phone. He quickly picked up the receiver, seeing it was coming from his security line.

"Herondale," he answered.

"Sir," Luke responded. "There was a security alert from the penthouse. Someone tried to get in, attempting codes first and then trying to hack in when they didn't work."

"I want you to personally go down there and investigate. Look through security tapes and try to identify whoever did and everything."

Another call started to come in, this time from reception. He told Luke to hold on as he switched lines. Catarina told him that Clary had arrived, and he bit back a smile as he told her to send her in before switching back to Luke.

He only half listened to Luke as Clary walked in. He looked up at her, motioning for her to sit. Luke asked if there were other people he should inform about the situation. "Jordan," Jace said. "He's up here. I want you to take him with you. Just in case. Keep me updated."

He hung up after that, running a hand through his hair. Why would somebody be trying to break in? That had never happened before, and he didn't know why it would happen now.

"Everything all right?" Clary asked, bringing him back out of his thoughts.

"You tell me," he said, wanting to know if something was wrong. Wanting to know if last night had been a mistake.

"What?"

She honestly looked confused, so he decided to take the direct route. "You left. I want to know why."

He wasn't sure what he expected, but the anger that flashed across her face, her eyes narrowing at him, was not it.

"Are you kidding me?" she hissed. He recoiled at her response. He also hadn't been expecting that. "You brought me all the way down here for _this_?"

"Yes?" he said, inwardly cursing himself for making it sound like a question. She had thrown him off with her response, though.

"Do you realize how unprofessional that is? That is a total abuse of power. I thought you were going to fire me or something, Jesus."

He regained his composure. There was the Clary he knew, not taking anybody's shit. Including his own. However, the irony of her commenting on professionalism was not lost on him.

"We are far past the point of professionalism, now. And you're avoiding the question, Miss Fray."

"And you're avoiding admitting you made a mistake," she shot back.

He found himself oddly aroused by her at the moment. He actually enjoyed it when she talked back, standing up for herself. "Alright." He put his hands up in surrender and leaned back in his chair. "I'm sorry. I should not have brought you here for personal reasons," he said, deciding to placate her. "But since you're already here, we might as well talk." He wasn't about to give up on his original mission.

He watched as she repositioned herself in her seat and stared out the window behind him. She remained silent for a moment, and he kept his gaze on her.

"I was scared," she finally said, still looking out the window.

"Of?"

"The repercussions."

He moved to lean closer to her. "What repercussions?" he asked, wishing she would look up at him.

"You realizing it was a mistake, that we shouldn't have done what we did, and whatever course of action you decided to take."

He thought about that for a moment. He didn't think it was a mistake, but did that mean she felt the same way? "Do you think it was a mistake?"

She looked finally looked up at him, and he continued to stare at her. He didn't want her to say yes. He wanted her to say anything except for that.

"No," she said.

Letting out a breath, he smiled. "I don't either."

"What now?" she blurted out.

Jace cocked his head to the side. "I mean, I was kind of hoping we could see where things go." He thought that was something that was implied, but maybe he had been wrong.

"What about CeeCee?" she asked. "We can't just 'see where things go' with her being in the middle. If things go south, I don't want it affecting her."

"Then we keep things on the down low for now," he said simply, his heart swelling knowing she was still thinking of his daughter first.

"Down low," she repeated. "So like secret?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. She sounded disappointed at that, but he didn't want her to feel that. He knew it wasn't ideal, but they were in a weird position. "I know it doesn't sound good, but I think it's the best option. We see where things go when CeeCee is in bed or at Kaelie's and keep it to ourselves. At least until we know where everything is headed. If we do end up becoming something serious, and we're confident it'll be more than just a fling, we let people know. That way, we can be as sure as we can that CeeCee doesn't get hurt in the process. If things go south, as you so eloquently put it, nobody is the wiser, and CeeCee won't be involved."

"I just don't want her to be upset if I'm suddenly no longer there," Clary added/

He frowned. He was tired of her always implying he was going to fire her. Did she not understand how important she was to CeeCee? He couldn't let her go just because she upset him at this point. "Why do you always think I'm going to fire you?"

She shrugged. "Prepare for the best, expect the worst?"

"Listen, Clary, no matter what happens between us personally, I will not let it affect us professionally." She gave him a pointed look. "Okay, except for today. But you are doing such a great job with CeeCee, and I'm not going to let my personal choices affect her. If we don't work out, you will still have a job. I promise. CeeCee adores you and you're going to have to really fuck up for me to even consider letting you go. "

Clary nodded. Her phone rang in her pocket, and she shot Jace a look before answering it.

Jace studied her as she spoke. Her hair was down today, falling in loose curls down her back. He watched her pouty lips as she spoke, remembering how they felt against his own. He began to wonder what they would feel like wrapped around other parts of him.

He was brought back to the present moment as Clary looked at him. "Yeah, of course. I'll be right there," She said into the phone. Jace gave her a questioning look as she hung up the phone and stood up. "CeeCee's sick. I need to go pick her up from school," she explained, heading toward the door.

"Wait," he said. "Jordan went with Luke to take care of a security matter." He didn't want to give her details. Plus, the matter should all be taken care of by the time she got back home. "The keys for the Escalade should be downstairs. If you're okay with driving. I can call and get Jordan here—"

Clary cut him off, laughing lightly. "Jace, it's fine. Don't worry about it. The sooner I pick up CeeCee, the better."

He nodded before offering a small smile. "I'll see you tonight?" He tried to keep the pathetic hopefulness from showing in his voice.

"See you tonight," she replied.

* * *

He was in the middle of giving a presentation to a group of investors when his cellphone rang on the table. Normally he turned it off, but he must have forgotten to before the meeting. He glanced at the caller ID, furrowing his brow when he saw Clary's name. She never called him at work. He decided to let it go to voicemail, though. However, when the phone rang a second time, he knew he couldn't ignore it.

He offered a quick apology to the men and women seated around the conference table before answering the call. Something had to be wrong.

"Clary? What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm being followed," she said, her voice thick as if she was about to cry.

"What do you—"

He was cut off as the sound of metal hitting metal came through the phone followed by CeeCee's scream.

"What's happening?" he shouted, feeling panic begin to swell in his chest.

"Daddy?" CeeCee called out on the other line.

Clary didn't answer.

"What is happening, Clary?" Jace demanded again.

"We're being followed, and I can't lose them," she yelled back.

"Where are you?" he asked, trying to calm himself down. He wouldn't be any good if he couldn't keep his head on straight. But he couldn't help thinking about the worst happening to CeeCee.

"I don't know," she said, her voice cracking.

"You don't know?" he growled. She had his daughter in the car with her, was in charge of her safety, and she didn't know where they were?

"I was trying to lose them and took a bunch of turns. I don't know where I am. Nothing looks familiar," she said as she took in her surroundings.

"Shit, okay." Jace paused for a second, trying to think of his next move. "I'll see if Luke can track the car, just continue driving. Try to lose him and avoid any accidents. I'll call you right back."

He hung up and turned back to the room of investors. He quickly explained that he would have to cut the meeting short due to a family emergency before exiting the room. He dialed Luke's number as he headed down to the parking garage.

"Sir?" Luke answered.

"I need you back here, now. Clary's being followed in the Escalade."

"We're already almost there. There wasn't much at the penthouse."

"Well get here faster," Jace ordered before roughly hitting the end button on the call.

He anxiously paced the garage, waiting for them to show up. It felt like hours before a black sedan pulled up in front of him. He didn't waste any time opening the back door and getting in. Jordan was driving with Luke in the front seat with some sort of laptop in front of him.

"I have a signal from the car and know where it is," Luke explained. "Give me your phone. I need to call Miss Fray."

Jace numbly handed him his phone with Clary's contact pulled up. He listened as Luke talked to Clary, but worst case scenarios kept running through his head. He was frozen in the backseat with fear, images of CeeCee dead in a car crash flashing through his mind. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost her. He never even wanted kids, and then Kaelie had ended up pregnant. Once CeeCee was born, he was amazed by the amount of love he felt for her right away. She was so tiny and she was his. He had helped make her. He never knew that he could love anything as much as he loved her. She was all he really had left family-wise after he losing his parents. He was sure that losing her would be a million times worse than that.

He was barely aware of where they were going until Jordan pulled into a parking lot with Luke giving Clary directions on how to get to them. When the Escalade showed up, he suddenly thawed out. The other car wasn't even in park before he flew out of the car and threw open the other's door.

He almost cried tears of relief at the sight of CeeCee in her car seat, crying but completely unharmed. He made quick work of the straps on her seat.

"Oh my God, CeeCee," he breathed out. "You're alright."

He pulled her tightly against him, inhaling the scent of her hair. She continued to cry against his chest, and while it broke his heart, it was better than any of the scenarios that he had been imagining. He whispered soothing words to her as he got back into the other car. He continued to hug her to him as Luke drove him home. He barely recalled Jordan saying he would take care of Clary.

Once back home, he still couldn't get her to calm down and she was starting to burn up with another fever. Panicked and at a complete loss for what to do, he called the pediatrician he had on call for her. He was instructed to give her children's cold medicine to help her go to sleep. CeeCee fell asleep about fifteen minutes after he did so, and he carefully changed her into a pair of pajamas and tucked her into bed. It was just barely after noon, but he figured she could sleep the cold off.

He left her room, quietly closing the door behind and him, and went to foyer where Jordan and Luke were talking to each other. They glanced up at him, concern on their faces.

"How's she doing?" Luke asked.

Jace shrugged. "I basically just had to drug her to get her to go to sleep. She's really shaken up."

"Yeah," Jordan nodded. "So is Clary. I practically had to pry her fingers off the steering wheel."

A pang of guilt hit his chest. He hadn't thought about Clary. He had been so focused on CeeCee that she had slipped his mind. She had just been something traumatic, too. He wanted to talk to her, but needed some information first.

"What did the detective say?" he asked. He had told Luke to call the police as he took care of CeeCee.

"Plates came up stolen, unfortunately."

"Fuck," he muttered.

"There's something else," Luke added. "Whoever had tried to break in earlier hadn't really tried that hard. They had also managed to keep their face away from all cameras. I think it might have been a deliberate diversion to get security away from Clary and maybe CeeCee."

"Where is she?" he asked, needing to see her, especially now. Was someone actually after her? More importantly _why_ would someone be after her? She had an extremely clean record. He briefly entertained the idea that maybe someone was after her to get to him, but there wasn't anybody who would know about them that came to mind.

"Her room," Jordan responded, nodding in that direction.

Jace walked over to her door, knocking lightly before shoving his hands in his pockets. Clary answered the door, now dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. He felt his heart constrict at her face, which was red and puffy from crying.

"Can I come in?" he asked warily, unsure if she wanted to talk to him.

Clary nodded, moving aside so he could step in. She closed the door behind him and leaned against the doorjamb with her arms crossed. "How's CeeCee?" she asked.

He ran a hand through his already messy hair and sat on the edge of her bed. "I don't know. She seemed really shaken up. I couldn't get her to calm down and ended up calling her pediatrician. Since she's already sick, he just told me to give her some children's NyQuil to at least get her asleep." He was quiet for a moment, looking down at his shoes. "How are you doing?" He looked up at her, his voice low.

She shrugged, avoiding meeting his eyes. "I'm fine."

"Bullshit," he said. "I just talked to Jordan. It doesn't sound like you're fine."

Rolling her eyes, she pushed off the doorjamb. "What do you want me to say, Jace?"

"The truth would be a nice start." He tried to keep the attitude out of his voice. She had just been through a lot, but now was not the time for her to shut him out.

She sighed heavily, sitting down next to him. Placing her elbows on her knees, she put her head in her hands. "I'm freaked out, okay? We could have been killed. Something could have happened to CeeCee. I could have—"

He gently placed a hand on her back and cut her off. "Hey," he said softly, "stop focusing on the could have's. There were a lot of things that could have happened, but they didn't. I know what just happened must have been terrifying, but you're okay, and that's all that matters."

Clary leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He moved his hand from her back and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her tighter against him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, placing a soft kiss on her temple. He felt terrible for not thinking of her at first. He felt terrible that she had been alone while he was so focused on CeeCee.

"For what?"

"For not checking in on you sooner."

She pulled away and looked at him. "Don't apologize for that," she said, frowning. "You were with your _daughter_. She comes first, Jace."

He gave her a faint smile and pulled her into his side again, rubbing his hand gently up and down her arm. "Thank you for being so understanding." He kissed the crown of her head.

"What happens now?" she asked quietly. She picked up his other hand and began tracing on it with her finger.

"I'm upping security protocol. The plates came up stolen, and we have no idea who was behind the wheel, which means we don't know who they were after. Not only is Jordan to go everywhere with you and CeeCee with absolutely no exceptions, I also want you to have someone with you if you leave alone."

She scoffed and moved to pull away again, but he held her against him. "I can handle myself, Jace."

He as expecting that kind of answer from her. "I'm not saying you can't," Jace said. "I would just feel better if you had someone with you."

"That's a waste of money and resources."

"Honey, neither of those things are a problem for me. What would be a problem for me is if something happened to you. Yes, I was terrified that something was going to happen to CeeCee when I was on the phone with you, but I was also worried about you. If something had happened to you and it had been my fault, I don't know what I'd do. So, please, just ease my mind?"

He didn't want to tell her what Luke had just told her. He didn't want to cause her to panic or worry right now. They didn't know for sure that someone was targeting her, and he didn't want to cause unnecessary panic.

"Okay," she said, giving in. " _But_ nobody is to follow me into work. They can pick me up and drop me off and whatever, but security at Pandemonium is sufficient enough."

"Fair enough," he said, giving her a genuine smile. He was actually a little surprised that she gave in so easily. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered.

He let out a light chuckle. "CeeCee should be out for awhile, and I took the rest of the day off so I can be here with her. I want you to take the afternoon off and just decompress. It's been a rough day."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind. I—"  
"Clary, you need to take some time for yourself right now. I'm fully capable of handling my daughter for the afternoon."

Once again, she gave into him. "Okay," she sighed.

"Get some rest," he instructed as he stood up. He placed a soft kiss on her lips before leaving.


	11. Chapter 10

It had been a few weeks since the car incident, and things had really seemed to calm down. As promised, Jace had increased his security, but nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Clary still thought having Jordan follow her around even when she wasn't with CeeCee was a little ridiculous, but she knew arguing with Jace would be pointless. Plus, it seemed to make him happy and put his mind at ease, which is something she was glad to do.

She was currently sitting in CeeCee's room helping the little girl pack for her upcoming trip for Thanksgiving. She was going to spend the week with Kaelie and Kaelie's parents. While apprehensive about this, Clary had been slightly excited, thinking she was about to have a week alone with Jace. That, however, was not the case. He was going away to California on business. He had to speak with researchers at Stanford or something, which meant she was going to spend the week alone.

Jace didn't know that, though. He thought she was at least going to go with Izzy and Simon to the Lewis's for actual Thanksgiving. She had been invited but declined the offer. She didn't want to intrude. It was Izzy's and Simon's first Thanksgiving as an engaged couple, and Clary knew that Izzy needed the time to win over Simon's mother.

Izzy had also stressed the fact that it was going to be Clary's first Thanksgiving without her own mother, and she didn't want Clary to be alone. Clary had shrugged it off, though. With it just being her and her mom growing up, they never really made a big fuss out of the day anyway. On top of that, she felt like she had to prove that'd she be fine without her mom. She was tired of everyone, namely Izzy, acting like she was going to fall apart without her. It was almost a year since her passing, and Clary felt like she was doing fine.

While she had declined Izzy's offer, she led Jace to believe she had actually accepted it. They had grown a lot closer over the past few weeks, spending late nights together once CeeCee was in bed. Sometimes they just stayed up and talked, other times they partook in certain other activities. She had a feeling he would worry if he knew she was spending Thanksgiving alone, and she didn't want to cause that. Plus, she knew he would make Jordan stick around for her, and she wanted him to be able to spend the day with his family.

Clary closed the suitcase and looked over at CeeCee. She noticed she was staring at the luggage, a frown on her face.

"What's wrong?" she asked, shifting to face CeeCee.

"I don't wanna go," she answered quietly.

"You don't want to go?" Clary repeated, and CeeCee nodded. "Why not?"

"I wanna stay here with you."

Clary froze. She wasn't sure how she should respond to that. Part of her was glad to hear that answer. She was happy that CeeCee liked her and they had a good relationship. The rest of her was worried, though. While she wanted CeeCee to like her, she didn't know how long she would be around for. She didn't want CeeCee to get too hurt if she left.

"Don't you want to spend time with your family?" she asked carefully. "I heard your grandparents have some pretty exciting things planned for you." Clary knew Disney World was on the itinerary for the week, but it was supposed to be kept a secret. "You're going to have much more fun with them than you would being stuck here with me."

"I don't care," CeeCee whined, climbing off the floor to stand up. "I want to stay here." She stomped her left foot.

"CeeCee," Clary said, her voice stern. It felt weird to speak to her that way. "Your grandparents want to spend time with you and the plans have already been made. You're going whether you want to or not."

Clary was honestly a little thrown off. CeeCee hadn't acted like this before. She was usually very mild-mannered. Clary wasn't prepared to handle it if CeeCee decided to throw a full-blown tantrum.

Angry tears welled up in CeeCee's eyes, and Clary scrambled to think of a way to placate her.

"When you come back, we can spend an entire day together, just you and me," she offered, "but only if you calm down and are on your best behavior this week. Sound good?"

CeeCee sniffed, running the back of her arm over her eyes. "Promise?" She stuck her pinky finger out at Clary.

"Promise," Clary said, smiling and hooking her pinky around CeeCee's. She just needed to get Jace to allow her to fulfill that promise.

A knock came from the door, and Jace poked his head in, as if he knew that she was thinking of him. "Ready to go?" he asked.

Clary looked at CeeCee, raising an eyebrow in question. The little girl nodded, and Clary offered her a smile. Clary helped her put on her coat and backpack before giving her the handle of the suitcase. CeeCee walked out of the room, wheeling the luggage behind her, and Clary followed. Luke was standing in the foyer, his hands clasped in front of him.

"CeeCee," Jace said from behind them, "why don't you go with Luke to the garage and I'll be right there?"

CeeCee's gaze flickered to Clary, and Clary knelt down in front of her. "Remember," she said softly, "best behavior." CeeCee nodded, and Clary pulled her into a hug. "Have lots of fun."

Clary let go and stood back up. Luke took the suitcase from CeeCee and led her into the elevator. Clary waved at her as the doors slid closed.

"Best behavior?" Jace asked.

Clary sighed and turned to face him. "She was very adamant about not wanting to go. I told her if she was on her best behavior we could spend a day together. I hope that was alright."

Jaces brow furrowed and the corners of his mouth turned down slightly. "Why didn't she want to go?"

Clary bit the inside of her cheek, debating how to answer. She ultimately decided to go with the truth, even though she wasn't sure how he would react. "She said she wanted to stay here with me."

Jace gently grabbed her hand, pulling her closer to him. "That makes two of us."

Clary bit back a smile. "You're not concerned?"

He shrugged. "I'm just not surprised. I mean, it's not ideal, but she spends more time with you than her mother. She's bound to form some sort of attachment." He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head. "I'm going to miss you," he sighed.

"You could just not go," she mumbled.

He chuckled, and she felt the vibrations in his chest. "I would if I could, babe."

He pulled away slightly, dipping his head to press his lips against hers. She melted into his touch and moved to deepen the kiss, opening her mouth to him. He accepted her offer, his tongue moving past her lips. She moved her hands up, knotting them in his curls. With a groan, he pulled away.

"If we don't stop now, I'm not going to be able to get on that plane."

"That doesn't exactly sound like a bad thing," she smirked, running a finger down his chest.

He groaned again, stepping away from her. "You're killing me, Clare. I would love nothing more than to spend a week alone with you. Unfortunately, duty calls."

"I know," she sighed.

He moved to retrieve his coat from the rack. "Remember to stay safe while I'm gone," he said, pulling on the coat. "Don't go anywhere without Jordan."

"Yeah, yeah." She rolled her eyes.

"Clary," he said, his voice commanding. She met his eyes. "Don't be like that."

"I'm sorry," she said, feeling guilty after seeing the concern in his eyes. He was just worried about her and didn't want to risk anything happening.

"How are you getting to Simon's on Thursday?"

"I'm just going to take a cab," she shrugged, the half-lie tasting bitter on her tongue. She was taking a taxi, just not to Simon's mother's. She had other plans for the day.

"Are you sure? I can have Jordan—"

She shook her head. "Let him have the day off with his family. I'll be fine." He frowned, and she quickly added, "If something doesn't feel right or something bad happens, I'll call, okay?"

He looked conflicted but nodded. "Okay." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him once more. He placed a soft, chaste kiss on her lips, reaching behind himself to call the elevator. "Be safe."

"You too," she whispered as he stepped into the elevator.

* * *

The beginning of the week crawled by for her. She spent most of the days lounging around the penthouse and working on a few art projects. At night, she went to Pandemonium and worked a few hours. Bat had let her pick up some shifts since she was available and wanted something to do. She felt bad for Jordan having to drive her there and pick her up at odd hours of the night. He swore he didn't mind, though.

It was finally Thursday, and she was glad to have day completely to herself. Sure, she had spent the days alone, but she felt trapped. She had wanted to go out and do something but hadn't wanted to call Jordan and make him go along with her. It made her feel guilty to have to drag him around places.

Her cellphone dinged with a text that was letting her know her cab was downstairs. She made her way to the garage and got into the vehicle, giving the driver the address for Takis. She remembered the diner being open last year on Thanksgiving. Her and her mother had never really done anything extravagant to begin with, but last year they didn't even have the effort to try. Her mother was weak from treatment and Clary was exhausted from working to support them and taking care of her.

The cab pulled up in front of the building, and Clary noticed the open sign was lit up and blinking in the window. She gave the driver a cash, telling him too keep the change. It had been at least a month since she had been Takis—it had been difficult for her, Simon, and Izzy to get together like they used to lately. She was really missing good old-fashion diner food.

The bell above the door jingled as she walked through the door. Her eyes fell upon a familiar figure standing behind the hostess podium.

"Maia?" she said.

"Clary!" the other girl shouted, her brown eyes widening. She stepped around the podium and threw her arms around Clary. "It's so good to see you!"

Clary returned the hug, patting Maia gently on the back before pulling away. "It's good to see you, too. How long have you been working here?"

Maia shrugged, returning to her spot behind the podium. "Just a few weeks. I've been kinda bouncing around jobs since Magnus shut down." She pulled out a menu. "What about you? How have things been going?"

Clary smiled shyly. "Really good actually," she admitted.

"Oh?" Maia quirked an eyebrow at her as she began to a booth. "Care to elaborate?"

"Things have just been really going my way lately," Clary replied. She noticed there were a few other lonely patrons spread throughout the diner. "I have a pretty steady job at the moment and," she paused, considering how much detail she wanted to offer, "things are just good, you know?"

Maia set the menu down on a table, gesturing for Clary to sit down. She sat down on the opposite side of the table from her. "Is there a man involved?" she asked, leaning towards her.

Clary bit her lip and looked down, but she didn't offer a response.

Maia let out a little squeal. "That's so exciting! Tell me about him."

Clary smiled, shaking her head. "There's really not much to tell. It's a pretty new thing. We're just seeing where things go right now."

Maia kept a grin on her face. "I'm so happy for you, Clary. I'm really glad things are finally working out for you."

Clary looked down at her lap, heat rising in her smiling cheeks. "Thanks," she muttered.

The bell above the door rang again, and Maia let out a sigh. "I gotta go, but we need to catch up soon." She took a pen and piece of paper out of her apron and scribbled a line on it. "Here's my number. Call me and we can meet up?"

"Yeah, of course," Clary replied, watching as Maia bounced away, back to the front of the diner.

* * *

Clary shoved her gloved hands into her pockets and drew her neck into her coat as she braved the cold New York air once again. The diner had gotten oddly busy for a holiday, and Maia hadn't gotten the chance to talk to her much. She had left the moment she finished her meal, knowing she would be waiting around for a while if she tried to talk with Maia again.

The sidewalks were unusually empty, and the sky was a grim grey, which she found fitting for her next destination. A large gust of wind blew through the air, causing Clary to wince as the cold stung at her face. She picked up her pace, turning to the wrought iron fence surrounding the cemetery. The air around her seemed to still as she passed through the gate.

Her footsteps were silent as she walked down the concrete path. She noticed quite a few bouquets of flowers left on graves as she passed by. Their bright reds, yellows, and pinks stood out against the gray marble of the headstones.

She stepped off the path, the frosty brown grass crunching under her shoes. She stopped before one of the newer headstones and crouched down. Reaching out, she ran her fingers of the cold marble, tracing the letters engraved on its surface: Jocelyn Fray.

"Hi, Mom," she whispered, her voice echoing in the empty air. "I'm sorry I haven't visited in a while."

It had been a few months since she last came. It was still difficult for her to be there, knowing her mother's body lay in a casket underneath her feet. Clary tried not to imagine what her mother looked like at this point in time, but the image invaded her mind anyway. She pictured her decaying body, maggots and other bugs crawling all over her. Clary had wanted to have Jocelyn cremated, not liking the idea of her body just rotting in the ground, but a proper burial was in Jocelyn's last wishes. She had found it kind of ironic, considering how much of a free spirit she had been. Clary had expected Jocelyn to want to be cremated and her ashes spread across the ocean or something.

With a sigh, she sat down on the grass, ignoring the chill that seeped through the material of her jeans. "A lot has changed. For the better." She smiled, looking up at the sky. "I'm actually really happy, Mom," she said, her voice cracking slightly. "I-I didn't expect for that to happen after losing you and then everything that happened with Raphael." She let out a bitter laugh. "God, I'm glad you weren't around for that. Although, you probably would have marched right over to his house and kicked his ass." She shook away her thoughts about Raphael.

"I've found someone good, though. I think." She shivered as another gust of wind blew by. "We're in kind of a weird situation right now, but he's nothing like Raph." She picked at the grass with her gloved fingers. "He has a daughter, which I know you would hate. You would say that it's too much baggage for someone my age. She's such an amazing kid, though. She's definitely her own person, and I think you would really like her."

Her phone rang in her coat pocket, the sound slicing through the air and causing her to startle slightly. Removing her glove, she pulled it out, glancing at the caller ID.

"Hey, Jace," she answered. "Isn't it a bit early where you are?" It was only 11 New York time, meaning it was only 8 in California.

"I have a busy schedule today and wanted to make my calls while I had the time," his voice came through the receiver.

"How's California?" she asked.

"Warm," he laughed. "I'm not going to want to come back to frigid New York on Saturday. Honestly would probably stay a few more days if I didn't have you waiting for me."

"You could stay there for a little longer if you wanted. I wouldn't mind," she said. It was a blatant lie, but if he was having a good time she didn't want to get in the way of that.

"I know you don't mean that," he replied. "How's the Lewis's?"

"It's fine. I've been spending a lot of time with Elaine because Simon and Izzy are off in their own little world. But that's to be expected."

"It sure is," he said. "Since I'm already on the phone, would you mind passing me over to Izzy?"

Clary froze. "Like I said, she's with Simon. I really don't want to interrupt."

"Come on, she can spare a few minutes for me," he pushed.

She swallowed hard. "I, uh, I, "she stammered, unable to think of a quick excuse.

"Clary," he said, "I know you aren't with them."

Her stomach dropped. "You do?"

"Mhm," he hummed. "I called Izzy before you. I asked how you were doing, and she said she wasn't sure since you didn't come with them."

"Shit," she muttered under her breath."

"You didn't have to lie to me, Clare," he said. She could hear the hurt in his voice.

"I just didn't want to third wheel with them and it's their first Thanksgiving together and I thought they needed the time alone with Elaine."

"You could have just told me that. I could have had Jordan—"

"That's why I didn't," she cut him off. "I didn't want Jordan to have to babysit me all day again. I wanted him to be able to spend some time with his family."

She heard him sigh. "What have you been doing today, then?"

She bit her cheek, knowing he wasn't going to like her answer. "I went to Takis for a late breakfast and am currently taking a walk."

"You know I don't want you wandering around by yourself, Clary. We still don't know who followed you that day and whether or not it was you they were after."

She cradled the phone between her head and shoulder so she could pull her glove back on as the cold began to bite at her exposed skin. "I know. It's just that nothing's happened since then."

"That doesn't mean it won't!" he replied, slightly raising his voice.

"I'm sorry, okay? I just needed some space. I'm not like you. I'm not used to have someone follow me around to make sure I'm safe. It's kind of a lot for me. Please just try to understand that."

"I understand," he said after a brief moment of quiet. "I'm just worried about you. If something happened to you, I don't know what…" he trailed off.

"I know, Jace. And it's very sweet of you. I'm just trying to get used to it and really needed a break from it all."

"How far from home are you?" he asked.

"Not very. Just a short cab ride."

"Promise me you'll get a cab home once we hang up? I don't like the idea of you walking around by yourself."

Clary rolled her eyes. She had walked around New York by herself plenty before and nothing bad had happened to her. She didn't want to make him more upset than he already was, though. He was just looking out for her. "I promise."

"What else do you have planned for the day?"

She wanted to be evasive again but decided to answer honestly. "I have a shift at Pandemonium."

"Call Jordan and have him take you," he said without wasting a second.

She groaned, throwing her head back slightly. "Jace, no."

"Clary—"

"I'm putting my foot down on this one, Jace. I don't want to bother him today. He's dealt with me enough for the past few days. Like I told you the other day, if anything feels wrong or something happens, I promise I'll call."

He let out a breath. "Alright," he relented. "But you're going to take the Lincoln. I don't want you riding the subway or taking a cab that late, okay? Not with what happened."

"Okay," she said.

"Thank you," he responded quietly. "I need to make some more calls, but I promise I'll call again tomorrow. Miss you."

"Miss you, too," she said before ending the call.

With a sigh, she looked back at the grave in front of her. "I know he probably sounds a little controlling," she said out loud. "But it's different than Raph. He liked to control every aspect of my life for his own sick pleasure." She closed her eyes, remembering how Raphael had tried to completely take over her life. He would tell her who she could and couldn't hang out with. He dictated how many hours she could work. He was in charge of where she could and could not go.

"He controlled me to hurt me. Jace isn't like that, though. I think he's just scared. There was an incident a few weeks ago, and I don't think he liked how helpless he felt. I think he's just trying to keep something similar from happening again. I guess I'm just trying to explain it to you so you don't worry, you know?"

A crow squawked in a nearby tree and a few snow flurries began to fall from the sky. Clary stood up, stretching out her legs and regretting sitting on the grass. Her jeans were damp now.

"I promise to visit again soon," she said. "I love you and really wish you were still here."

* * *

Clary maneuvered around the throngs of people as she tried to deliver drinks to tables. She honestly wasn't that surprised by how packed Pandemonium was. A lot of the customers were workaholics who were too busy to build families. Coming to the club was probably the only thing they had to look forward to for the day. Other patrons were most likely just looking for a way to wind down after spending hours with their dysfunctional family members.

There had finally been a small lull in orders when one of the security guards approached her to let her know that there was a man asking for her specifically. She groaned inwardly, knowing it was Sebastian. She didn't understand his weird little obsession with her, and it was honestly starting to get on her nerves. At first, she hadn't minded because of the tips. But now, it seemed like he made sure he was there whenever she was working, and he wouldn't be satisfied unless it was her waiting on him.

After grabbing his usual order, she made her way over to his favorite booth, a fake smile plastered on her face. He was sitting in the booth alone dressed in dark pants and a gray button up, and his hair was neatly slicked back.

"Hello, Sebastian," she greeted, setting the drink down in front of him.

"Cherry," he said back, a grin slowly spreading across his face. "I was surprised to see you working on a weekday."

She shrugged. "I had some time off from my other job. I've actually been here all week."

"And I haven't been here to take advantage of your company." He frowned a little.

"You here by yourself tonight?" she asked, wanting to keep then conversation away from herself.

"I have a friend joining me later. I came early, though. Had to get away from all the family drama."

She forced a laugh. "Yeah, that's pretty typical for this time of year." She looked behind her at all the other people in the club. "I've gotta go take care of some other customers. I'll be back to check on you later and meet your friend."

"I'll be looking forward to it, Cherry."

The smile fell from her face as soon as she turned away from him. She quickly walked back to the bar, suddenly glad they were busy. It gave her an excuse to not spend as much time with him.

Helen was standing at the bar getting an order when Clary walked up, and she gave Clary a sideways glance. "Is Verlac back?" she asked.

Clary wondered how Helen knew that from just one look, but she nodded anyway. "Yeah. I'm just glad he didn't know I was working earlier in the week."

"Is he giving you trouble?" Bat asked while mixing a drink. They had ended up short staffed and Bat took over as bartender so Helen could help with waitressing.

Clary shook her head. "He's just a little annoying. It's nothing to worry about, though."

"Alright," Bat replied, a little skeptically. "You let me know if he bothers you, okay?"

She offered him a small smile. "Of course. Thanks, Bat."

That was one thing she loved about working for Bat: he looked after all his employees. He had zero tolerance for anybody messing with his servers or dancers, no matter how important or rich they were. He wasn't afraid to kick even the most powerful of men out if they were causing issues.

It took her awhile to be able to get back to Sebastian's table, not that she had a problem with that. She felt like she was being pulled all over the club and hadn't had the chance to go to the back booth. She figured if he was feeling impatient, he would have sent someone to retrieve her like usual.

His friend had joined him by time she approached his table, and she stopped dead in her tracks a few feet away when she saw who was sitting with him. She considered just turning away and asking someone else to cover the table, but Sebastian spotted her before she could move.

"Cherry!" he shouted. "Come here! I want you to meet my friend Raphael."

She knew from Simon that Raphael came to Pandemonium sometimes, but she had somehow managed to avoid being there when he was. Simon was always on the lookout for him when she was working, and he had promised to let her know if he ever showed up. So of course he showed up the one night Simon wasn't working with her.

Clary's feet felt like lead as she moved towards the table. Her eyes were locked on Raphael's dark ones. She could see the thinly veiled anger in them and had a feeling it was directed at her. She didn't know what she could have already done to make him mad, though. Then again, he never really needed a reason to be mad at her.

"Clarissa," Raphael drawled.

"Raphael," she said with a weak smile. "Good to see you again."

"Wait, you two know each other?" Sebastian questioned.

Clary fought the urge to roll her eyes at him. She didn't believe that he didn't know they knew each other. He had been at that gala, too. There was no way he didn't remember the scene caused by them and Simon. She had a feeling she was part of some game for at least one of them.

"We were involved at one point," Raphael said.

"Oh," Sebastian replied, his brow furrowing slightly. "I hope this isn't too awkward for you two."

Raphael smirked at her. "If anybody has an issue, it would be dear Clarissa. She didn't take to our breaking up too well."

"I'm fine," Clary lied. She didn't want either of them to know how much she was panicking on the inside. The only reason she wasn't completely freaking out was because she knew Bat would have her back if Raphael tried anything in the club. "What can I get you to drink?" she asked, even though she knew Raphael always drank.

"Oh, Clarissa," he sighed. "We haven't been separated _that_ long. I'm sure you haven't forgotten what I like."

He was trying to egg her on, trying to get some sort of reaction out of her. She just smiled at him in return. "Of course. Silly me. Maker's Mark and a side of Coke, right?" she asked, and he nodded. "I'll be right back with your drinks."

* * *

She spent the night avoiding Raphael's and Sebastian's table as much as she could. However, as the night went on, the crowds thinned, and she had less people to distract herself with. Helen had kept asking her if she was okay, sensing something was wrong, but Clary just shrugged it off. She didn't want to explain the Raphael situation to anyone. Plus, there really wasn't anything for anyone to do. His presence was bothering her, but he hadn't even tried to touch her.

She set drinks down in front of the two men right before the end of her shift. "I'm about to take off," she said. "Do you have a preference in who takes over after me?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Cherry," he slurred slightly. "There's no point in us staying if you're not here. I would like to close my tab."

Clary nodded, heading back over to the bar to do just that. Sebastian had put his and Raphael's drinks on his tab, and Clary blanched at the total she ran his card. It was ridiculous how much some people would spend on alcohol in just one night. But knowing Raphael, he had probably built up a tolerance and it took him a lot to get him to where he wanted to be.

She took the receipt and card back to the table, handing them to Sebastian while ignoring the way Raphael's eyes were burning into the side of his face. Sebastian took the items from her and put them into his wallet.

"Cherry," he said just loud enough for her to hear over the music. "Come closer."

She hesitated a moment before leaning down closer to him. He brought his hand up and shoved a few bills in the front of her shirt, right between her breasts. She fought the urge to reach out and smack his hand away, not wanting to cause a scene or further upset the fuming Raphael who was watching the entire encounter.

"Have a good night, baby," Sebastian said.

Clary swallowed back the sick feeling in her stomach at his use of a pet name. She hated that he called her Cherry, but she would rather have him call her that for the rest of her life than ever have him call her baby again. There was only one person she was okay with calling her baby.

"You, too, Sebastian," she responded before hurrying a way from the table. She didn't even glance at Raphael as she did so.

As she gathered her things to leave, she pulled the bills out of her shirt. Her mouth fell open at the amount. Five hundred dollars. He had given her five hundred dollars. Normally, she would have been ecstatic over the tip, but in that moment, she just felt dirty. She didn't know what had changed, whether or not it had been because Raphael was there tonight, but she didn't like that feeling. Part of her wanted to just dump the money and leave it for someone else to find, but she knew that would be stupid.

She pulled her coat on over her work uniform, not bothering to change. She just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Plus, she had driven there, so it wasn't like she was taking the subway in her skimpy outfit.

The cold air bit at her exposed skin as she stepped out into the alley. The back of it led to the parking lot where the Lincoln was. Her heels clicked on the asphalt as she walked slowly down the alley aware of the thin patches of ice that were scattered around. She heard someone call out behind her and her footsteps faltered for a second as she recognized Raphael's voice. Instead of turning around, she kept walking, picking up her speed a little.

"Clarissa!" he yelled again, sounding closer.

He had much longer legs than her and caught up to her in no time, his hand grabbing her by the elbow and forcing her to a stop. He pulled on her arm, making her turn around. She shrunk away from the fire that was blazing in his dark eyes.

"Do _not_ ignore me when I call you," he seethed, his fingers digging harder into the flesh of her bicep.

"Let me go," she whimpered, trying to pull away.

He just tightened his grip again. "You do _not_ tell me what to do, Clarissa. You better remember your fucking place. I did not appreciate your little attitude tonight."

"We're not dating anymore, Raphael," she said. "You don't get to tell me how to behave." Her voice sounded weak even to her own ears. The truth was, as long as he could make her as afraid as she was right in the moment, he would always be able to have some sort of control over her.

"I still deserve respect," he growled. "And what the fuck do you think you're doing? Whoring around with all my friends? I always knew you were nothing more than some gold-digging slut," he spat.

"I-I don't know what you mean." A few tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. She was really regretting not having Jordan take her to work. Why did she have to be so goddamn stubborn all the time?

"I'm not fucking stupid, Clarissa! First you're weaseling your way into Herondale's bed and now you're shacking up with Sebastian? Couldn't get the money out of me so now you're trying to fuck it out of someone else? Is that what's going on?"

"No, Raphael! I—" She let out a cry of pain as he once again tightened his grip. She felt like he was about to snap her bone in half.

"Don't. Lie. To. Me."

"I'm not!" she cried out.

He raised his hand as if about to strike her, and she flinched away, trying once again to yank her arm out of his grip. Before he could do anything, though, they were interrupted.

"Santiago!" a voice yelled from behind them.

Raphael immediately let go of her arm. Because she was trying to get out of his hold already, she fell to the ground, pushing her hands out to catch herself. The asphalt scraped at her palms and knees.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with one of my girls?" Bat demanded as he walked up to them.

"Nothing. We were just talking," Raphael said, his voice astoundingly calm and even.

"That's not what it looked like," Bat said. He looked around Raphael and at Clary. "Are you okay?"

Clary nodded as she picked herself up off the ground on shaky legs. "Y-Yeah. Thanks."

He gave her a nod. "Why don't you go ahead and go home while I talk to Mr. Santiago."

He didn't have to tell her twice. She took off toward the parking lot, almost slipping on ice more than once in her rush to do so. She didn't let out a breath until she was safely in the Lincoln with the doors locked. She fumbled with getting the keys out of her purse and shoving them into the ignition.

Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as she drove, trying to keep them from shaking so much. Tears were pouring from her eyes, and eventually they blurred her vision so much that she had to pull over to the side of the road. She turned the hazards on, but left the car running for the heat.

Letting out a scream, she slammed her fist down on the steering as she sobbed. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. She should have just agreed to let Jordan take her. Even if she hadn't, she should have at least asked someone to walk her out. She should have known Raphael wouldn't leave her alone so easily. She didn't even want to think about what would have happened if Bat hadn't come out.

She also didn't understand what Raphael wanted with her. He was the one who broke up with her. He obviously didn't want to date her, and she had no idea why he insisted on continuing to fuck with her. Was it some sick game to him? Did he just like to prove that he still had a hold over her? Was it something he got off on?

Her phone rang in her pocket, and she reached in to deny the call without even looking at the caller ID. The phone rang a few more times, and she just let it go to voicemail. She was not in the mood or the mindset to talk to someone right now. She was barely holding to together enough as it was. A dull throbbing came from her arm where Raphael had grabbed her, and she was sure there was probably already a nasty bruise there. She would have to find a way to hide it from Jace until it healed. The last thing she wanted was for him to find out about what happened.

She didn't know how long she was sitting there when suddenly, there was a light knocking on her window. She jumped in her seat, her hand flying to her chest. She slowly turned her head to look out the window, and she let out a sigh of relief as she saw Jordan standing there, bouncing on his feet. He signaled for her to unlock the door.

He opened the door and looked at her. "Are you okay?"

"What are you doing here?" she asked, ignoring his question and running her hands over her face to wipe away the evidence of her crying.

"Jace asked me to track your car," he replied simply. "He called me freaking the fuck out and saying you weren't answering your phone."

"Oh," was all she managed to say. She felt guilty for not answering the phone, but she also knew she wouldn't have been able to hide her breakdown from him.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" he asked, taking in her appearance.

She nodded, and he reached over, turning off the car and taking the keys out of the ignition. He then turned off the hazard lights and stepped back. With shaking hands, she undid her seatbelt and got out of the car, hitting the lock switch on the door before closing it.

"I'll have someone come get the car," Jordan said as they walked back to his vehicle. It was a Dodge truck, and Clary figured it was probably his own. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

She shook her head. "It was nothing. I just got a little upset while driving and had to pull over."

Jordan hummed, but didn't say anything. Clary knew he didn't believe her, and she was glad that he didn't press the subject. She really did not want to talk about it. She was embarrassed about how stupid she had been, and she didn't want to deal with everyone telling her so.

Jordan pulled into the parking garage and haphazardly parked the truck. He got out and helped Clary down, leading her to the elevator and calling it down. "Do you want me to stay?" he asked.

"No," she said, wrapping her arms around her abdomen. "I'll be fine now that I'm home. Thanks."

"Okay," he replied with a small nod. "You should call Jace, though. Let him know you're okay."

"Like you haven't already told him," she responded, not wanting to talk to Jace at the moment.

"That doesn't mean he doesn't want to hear from you."

Clary shrugged and was luckily saved by the elevator finally arriving. "Thanks for your help," she said before stepping in. "I'll see you tomorrow."

As the elevator slowly made its climb, she debated calling Jace. It was one of the last things she wanted to do. She knew he would be mad at her and want to know what the hell had happened, and she didn't want to deal with explaining. But she also knew Jordan was right. She should call him. It was unfair to keep him worrying. She knew if the roles were somehow reversed it would be killing her to not talk to him.

Once the elevator deposited her at the penthouse, she pulled out her phone, wincing at the number of missed calls she had from Jace. Before she could back out, she hit the call button and brought the phone to ear. Part of her hoped that it was late enough that he wouldn't answer. Unfortunately, the phone barely rang once before being picked up.

"Clary," he breathed. "What the fuck happened?"

"It was nothing," she answered, walking towards her room.

"Really? Because that's not what Bat told me."

Clary frowned into the phone. "You talked to Bat?"

"I told you I didn't like you going to work alone, so I called and asked Bat to keep an eye on you and let me know if anything happened."

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks in embarrassment. He had basically asked her boss to babysit her. "Jace! You can't just do that!"

"Well it's a good fucking thing I did!" he shouted back at her, causing her to flinch. "What do you think would have happened if he hadn't gone to make sure you were okay when you left? What do you think that fucker Santiago would have done to you if he hadn't showed up?"

Tears burned at the back of her eyes again. She knew what Raphael was capable of. Things could have gone very bad very fast. She refused to back down, though. "That doesn't matter, Jace! That doesn't give you the right to interfere with my work life. Do you know how unprofessional that makes me look?"

"It's not like you gave me a choice, Clarissa!"

"Don't call me that," she ground out, failing to keep her voice from wavering.

Jace feel silent. She would have thought he had hung up if it weren't for the fact she could hear his breathing. She put the phone as speaker as she began to undress. Looking down, she noticed that there was in fact a large bruise forming on her arm.

"You should have called," he finally said, his voice quiet.

"What?" she responded dumbly.

"You promised you would call if something bad happened."

She frowned, pulling a large t-shirt over her head. "I didn't have a chance to, and then you sent Jordan, so it would have been kinda pointless."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Clare."

"I'm confused," she stated plainly as she threw her dirty clothes into the hamper.

"You should have called me when Raphael showed up in the first place, Clary. After what he did at the gala…" He trailed off. "You just should have called. I would have sent Jordan."

She sat down on the edge of her bed and took the phone off speaker.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"Please don't cry," he said softly.

"It's all my fault, though," she sobbed. "I was fucking stupid and should have known better."

He shushed her, trying to get her to calm down. "You made a mistake, Clare. That's all. I'm sorry for yelling at you, and I'm sorry if you think I'm completely blaming you. I hate hearing you cry, and I hate not being there with you right now."

"You wouldn't want to see me right now," she said, wiping underneath her eyes. "I'm a mess."

"I don't care what you look like, baby. I'd rather be there holding you than staring at this goddamn hotel ceiling."

"I wish you were here, too," she murmured.

"I'll be back before you know it," he said, his voice earnest.

"I should probably get some sleep," she yawned, the exhaustion finally hitting her. "And you should too."

"Goodnight, Clary. See you soon."

"See you soon," she said quietly before hanging up.

Instead of slipping into her bed, she got up and made her way to Jace's room. She slid under his comforter, burying her face into his pillow. She fell asleep enveloped in his comforting scent.


	12. Chapter 11

As she moved towards consciousness, she could feel someone's hand running gently through her hair. Sighing contentedly, she leaned into the touch. It took her a moment to remember that she was home alone when she had fallen asleep, and there definitely shouldn't have been anyone in the house.

She shot up in the bed, her wide eyes meeting familiar golden ones. "Jesus Christ," she breathed, her hand against the fast beating in her chest.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Jace said quietly, his hand dropping to his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed.

She grabbed her phone off the nightstand, checking the date and time. Had she slept for over a day? But it was only late morning on Friday.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice scratchy from sleep.

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I thought you'd be glad to see me."

"I am," she said, scooting so her back was against the headboard. "I just thought you weren't coming back until Saturday."

"I got the first flight back after last night," he responded.

"Oh." She started wringing her hands in her lap. That was not something she had been expecting. Was he really so worried about her that he went through all the trouble of changing his flights? She sat up a little straighter, remembering where she was. "And you probably want to sleep after all that travelling and I'm in your bed."

Clary moved to get out of the bed, but Jace stopped her, placing a hand on her knee.

"I slept on the plane," he said, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Plus, I kinda liked coming home to find you in my bed."

She looked back down, heat spreading across her cheeks. She ran a hand through her hair and heard Jace take a sharp intake of breath. Looking up, she saw the grin had fallen from his face and his back was rigid. Following his line of sight, she realized her sleeve had moved up her arm when she moved it. Finger-shaped bruises were clear on her skin. She quickly dropped her arm, pulling the sleeve back down her bicep.

He just reached out and pulled it back up again. "Did _he_ do that to you?" His voice was cold.

"I bruise easily," she said. "It's really not that big of a deal." It was the same excuse she had given multiple times in the past.

He snatched his hand back. "I'm going to fucking kill him," he growled, standing up from the bed.

Clary watched as he paced back and forth in front of her, continuously running his hands through his hair. She took the moment to take him in. The suit he was wearing was wrinkled, and she guessed that was from the plane. There were also circles under his eyes, and she wondered if maybe he hadn't slept like he had said.

After a few moments, he stopped pacing at the end of the bedand took out his phone, pressing some buttons. With a hand on his hip, he stared out the window, his jaw set. "Catarina," he snapped, "patch me through to my lawyer. Tell him it's urgent." He glanced at Clary for a second before turning his attention back to the window. "Woolsey, I need you to do whatever you can to get me out of any business contracts I have with Raphael Santiago." He looked over at Clary again, listening to whatever his lawyer was saying. "Let's just say I disagree with some of his personal actions." He went back to staring out the window once more. "Thanks, Woolsey. Keep me updated."

He shoved his phone back in his pocket but didn't move his gaze from the view of the city. Clary stared at his face, watching as his jaw continued to clench and unclench. She wanted to know what he was thinking over in his mind but figured he wasn't exactly in a mood to share.

"You didn't have to do that," she finally said, climbing onto her knees and moving over to the end of the bed. "It's really nothing."

"It's not nothing, Clary," he responded, still not looking at her.

She reached out and grabbed his hand. "I've had worse, Jace. It's fine."

He whipped his head to the side, his eyes narrowing at her. "What does that mean?"

She stared at him, her eyes widening slightly. She hadn't meant to say that. She had been so focused on trying to calm him and had spoken without really thinking about it first. She desperately tried to think of something to add. Part of her just wanted to finally tell him about Raphael, to stop hiding it, but she was afraid of what his reaction would be. If he was freaking out this much over a bruise, what would he do if he learned everything that had happened between them?

He completely turned to face her, grabbing her other hand. He rubbed circles on the back of her hands with her thumbs. "Clare, what does that mean?" he repeated, his voice much softer than it had been earlier.

Her breath caught in her throat at the emotion she saw in his golden orbs. The anger seemed to have completely left him, and all she saw now was concern mixed with something else she was too afraid to name. She felt tears prick at the backs of her eyes, and she shook her head slightly.

"Not right now," she said. "Please."

She knew she wouldn't be able to tell him another lie. She felt like she had been lying to him so much recently, and she felt horrible about it. A solid relationship couldn't be built without honesty and trust. But she also knew she couldn't tell him the truth in that moment.

His eyes bore into hers, looking for something. He must have found whatever he was looking for because he let out a small sigh and an almost silent okay.

Clary removed her right hand from his and reached up to cup his cheek. She ran her thumb lightly under his eye. "You look tired," she said. "Did you really sleep?"

He leaned his head into her touch. "I did. Just not well." He closed his eyes. "I'm not that tired, though."

"Lay down with me?" she asked, biting her lip.

He opened his eyes and quirked an eyebrow at her. "Clary, it's almost eleven. Shouldn't you be getting up?"

She shrugged. "I don't have any plans for the day."

He reached up and took the hand she had on his face, turning it to press a kiss against her thumb. "I have to stop by the office today after cutting my trip short."

"Just for a little bit?" She gave him her best pout. "I missed you."

He let go of her hands and started to take off his suit jacket. "Just for a little bit," he reiterated.

Clary beamed at him and crawled back under the covers. She watched as he stripped down to just his boxer briefs. Her eyes scanned over his body, and she thought about the way it felt pressed against her. He smirked at her, as if he knew what she was thinking about.

He slowly walked over to the other side of the bed, slipping into the sheets behind her. Pulling her back against his front, he placed his hand on her thigh. He moved his hand up under her shirt, stopping at the top of her lacy panties. His hand traveled across the top of the material until his arm was securely around her, and he pulled her completely flush against him.

"Thank you," she said.

He just hummed in return, nuzzling his face into her hair. After a few minutes, she heard his breathing even out and wondered if he had fallen asleep. She said his name quietly into the silent room, and when he didn't respond, she bit back a giggle. _Not that tired my ass._

She turned over in his arms so she could face him. His eyes were closed, and his mouth was parted slightly. She lifted her hand, gently running a finger down the side of his face. She had learned to appreciate the way people looked while they were sleeping, the way their faces were relaxed and peaceful as if all their worries no longer existed. With Raphael, it had been the only time when she wasn't afraid of him.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed as she sat there studying him. She hadn't been tired when she had asked him to lie down with her; she had just wanted to give him the chance to get some rest. She liked how calm his expression was in his sleep. In his sleep wasn't filled with worry or anger anymore.

Her eyes raked over the rest of his exposed body. She ran her fingers down the ridges of his abs, feeling the muscles tighten under her feather-light touch. She heard his breathing change, and she stopped her movements, glancing up to find his eyes still closed. She went back to exploring his flesh.

"Clary," he groaned.

She smiled at the half warning, half begging of his voice. She dipped her hand lower, running a finger along the waistband of his underwear. He let out a throaty growl, and she suddenly found herself on her back, Jace hovering over her and holding wrists above her head. He placed himself between her thighs, pressing his arousal into her core.

She froze, her mind focusing on the hands gripping her wrists. The hands holding her down. For a moment, it was no longer Jace above her, and she yanked her hands free. Jace leaned back on his knees, his brow furrowing in concern.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he rushed out, his eyes scanning over her.

She shook her head, sitting up and placing a soft, reassuring kiss against his lips. "I just don't like being restrained," she said, keeping her mouth centimeters from his. She hoped to keep him distracted enough to not ask questions.

"Good to know."

He brought his lips back to hers, and she felt relieved. He moved them so that she was laying down again. This time, he placed his hands on either side of her head. She put a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down to deepen the kiss.

His tongue explored her mouth as he moved a hand between her thighs. He grazed a finger over the damp spot on her panties, and she moaned into his mouth, causing him to smile against her lips. His hand moved, pushing her shirt up her torso. She pulled away from him for a split second, helping to pull the piece of clothing off. Her bra and panties soon followed.

She slapped her hand over her mouth, muffling a cry as he kissed down her body and curled two fingers into her core. He paused, reaching up and removing her hand from her face.

"Look at me, Clary," he demanded, his voice low and throaty.

She leaned up on her elbows to meet his eyes. Their gold color had darkened to an almost bronze. She was ready to combust at just the sight of his face so close to her center, his hair an unruly mess and a smirk gracing his lips.

"We're the only ones home for once. I want to be able to hear you," he said before his head disappeared between her thighs.

* * *

Clary's eyes were closed, and she hummed appreciatively as Jace's fingers massaged shampoo into her scalp. The room was silent, aside from her soft humming and the sound of shower water hitting the tiled wall. The heat of the water seeped into her skin, washing off the sweat and other bodily fluids left behind from the past hour they'd spent together, touching, feeling, and pleasuring each other.

She tilted her head farther into his touch, thinking about how sweet he was being. It had taken a bit for it to sink in, but he had literally flown across the country for her, to make sure she was doing okay. She honestly thought that was something that only happened in books in movies, but maybe that was just the person Jace was. He cared so much, maybe too much, and he would go to extreme lengths to be there for those who mattered to him. And she had been treating him horribly.

"I'm sorry," she finally said, her voice barely audible.

His hands stilled in her hair. "What for?"

"For lying to you and sneaking around," she mumbled.

"I shouldn't have put you in a place where you felt like you had to do that," he said, adjusting the showerhead in order to rinse the shampoo out. "I shouldn't have been as demanding as I was."

Clary shook her head, turning around to face him. She wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed a cheek against his wet chest. "But I shouldn't have been dishonest. You just care, and I guess I'm not used to it."

He turned off the water and opened the glass shower door to grab their towels. "What do you mean by that?"

She took one of the towels from him and ran it through her hair as she thought about her next response, trying to find something she could tell him that didn't involve Raphael. Wrapping the towel securely around her body, she stepped out with Jace behind her.

"I don't mean that nobody's cared about me. My mom did, but just not in the same way, you know?" They walked back into the bedroom, and Clary watched as Jace began to dry himself off. "I grew up in the city. Jocelyn was very independent and raised me to be the same way. She would tell me to be safe but was never very overprotective. I think that's what a father would have been for, but I never knew mine. I don't even think Jocelyn knew who it was. She wasn't always the most responsible."

He pulled on a pair of underwear and looked at her. "Do you think I'm being overprotective?"

She sighed, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "To me, yes. But I understand where you're coming from. These are just the normal precautions for you."

"Do you want me to stop? If you really wanted, I could stop having Jordan follow you around all the time," he offered as he slid on a dress shirt.

She began to pick at a piece of lint on her towel. "No." She wanted to say yes, but she knew that if she was going to be a part of his life, his level of security was going to be part of the deal.

He quirked an eyebrow at her as he continued to dress. "Are you sure?"

She looked up and cracked a smile at him. "If I had said yes, you would have just had someone else follow me around in secret."

He didn't say anything, but she saw his mouth curve up slightly. She continued to watch as Jace got dressed, skillfully tying his tie around his neck and buttoning his suit jacket. She blushed, thinking about how those same nimble fingers had been all over her not too long ago.

"You should go get dressed," he said, and she cocked her head to the side. "If you keep sitting there blushing in nothing but a towel, that whole shower will end up having been for nothing."

She bit her lip, staring at him for a moment. She was tempted to tease him and see if she could lure him back into bed. However, she knew he really needed to get into office at some point and didn't want to get in the way of that. She heaved herself off the bed and did as he requested.

Once she had clothes on, she walked out of her room to find Jace standing in the living room, hands stuffed into his pockets. He was staring at a large canvas she had left leaning against the wall to dry. It was one of the art projects she had worked on during the week, a watercolor of the skyline at sunset from the view of the penthouse. She had started it weeks ago in her room but finally got around to finishing it with all the free time she'd had.

"Did you make this?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the painting.

"Yeah, I was going to move it out of here, but—"

"How much?"

Her head tilted to the side. "What?"

He finally turned and looked at her. "I want to buy it," he stated. "How much?"

Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open slightly. Did he really just say he wanted to buy her painting? She didn't think anybody had wanted one of her paintings before, let alone wanted to pay actually money for one.

"I—You can just have it," she spluttered.

"Clary," he said sternly. "You worked hard on this. I'm not going to take it from you without giving you payment in return."

She shook her head. It didn't feel right taking money from him for it. She was sure he was already overpaying her for her job. On top of that, their personal relationship would also make it weird for her to accept payment.

"Consider it a gift," she offered.

"If you don't give me a price, I'm going to give you whatever I see fit," he responded, eyes narrowing slightly at her.

She wanted to call his bluff but part of her had a feeling he was being dead serious. So she just said the first number that popped into her head. "Fifty dollars."

He scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be cute, Clare. It's worth way more than that."

"You think I'm cute?" One corner of her mouth picked up.

"Clary," he warned, eyes narrowing.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine. Two hundred."

"That's better," he said, moving toward her. He grabbed her face and pressed his lips against hers. "By the way, I think you are deserving of words far better than just cute." He pressed another quick kiss to her lips. "I should be back around six."

She followed him to the elevator and leaned against the wall. "Call me if you're going to be late?" She wanted to plan a special night for them, but that depended on him being home before she had to go to Pandemonium.

"Will do," he said, leaning in for one last kiss as the elevator arrived. "Promise you'll stay safe?"

"Promise," she replied, marking an X over her heart.

* * *

Her head bopped along to the music coming through her headphones as she worked at cutting up vegetables. She had the table set, lights low and candles waiting to be lit. She had a pot roast and potatoes sitting on the counter wrapped in tin foil to keep warm and a bottle of champagne sitting on ice to keep it chilled. All she had left was the salad and she would be ready for Jace to come home.

A pair of arms suddenly wrapped around her waist, and she startled. The hand holding the knife jerked, and she felt a searing pain in her index finger.

"Fuck," she hissed, pulling her earbuds out and looking at her bleeding finger.

"Shit, Clary," Jace said from behind her, his arms no longer around her. "I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you heard me come in."

"I didn't," she responded through gritted teeth as she grabbed a towel and wrapped it over her hand to try to stop some of the bleeding.

"Stop." He gently grabbed her wrist and turned her to face him. "Let me take a look." He removed the towel and inspected her finger, a small frown appearing on his face. "It's pretty deep. You're going to need stitches, and I unfortunately don't have the tools to do that here."

She shook her head, rewrapping the towel and applying pressure. "It's fine. I-I don't need to go to the hospital."

He kept his hold on her wrist and raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realize you were the one with a medical degree."

She glared at him but didn't say anything.

"Come on," he gently tugged her arm, "I'm taking you to the ER to get that taken care of."

She begrudgingly followed him into the foyer. He kept an eye on her as they waited for the elevator, and his gaze kept falling to the injured hand she held against her chest. The frown on his face never left.

"Hey," she said, giving him a small smile, "I'm fine. It's just a cut."

"How much does it hurt?" he asked as they rode down to the parking garage.

She shrugged. "Not too bad." After the initial shock and pain, it had turned into a dull throbbing.

He opened the passenger door to a silver Audi for her, and she slid into the leather seats with a thanks. He situated himself into the driver's seat and turned on the car, pulling smoothly out of the garage. With a sigh, she leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the warm air coming from the vents.

"It's a Friday evening; the wait is going to be so long. Are you sure we can't just wait until the morning or something?" she asked as he maneuvered through New York traffic.

"I'll take care of it," he replied as he shifted gears.

She opened one of her eyes and looked at him. His eyes were focused on the road, one of his hands on the steering wheel and the other on the gear shift. "How?"

"I can pull some strings and take care of it," he said without looking at her.

She opened her other eye but looked away from him and at the road. "Did you do your residency in the emergency room?"

He hummed an affirmation. "I originally wanted to work in the emergency room before I decided on oncology."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I just didn't feel like I was having much of an impact, you know? Sure, there are those time where life or death emergencies come through, but a lot of the time it's broken bones and stitches." He glanced at her hand out of the corner of his eye. "I also wasn't really connecting with patients like I wanted to. Everything is so fast paced and in and out. I wanted something more."

"Did you choose oncology because of your mom?" she asked. Part of her felt guilty about asking about his mother when she constantly avoided the topic of hers. Then again, the information about his was very public knowledge and something a quick Google search would bring up.

He nodded. "Partially. It also allows me to create meaningful relationships with people, which something I always wanted out of being a doctor."

She wanted to talk to him more about it, but he had pulled up outside of the emergency room, telling her to check in while he parked. His medical career, not his business one, was something they never really talked about. She always wondered why he didn't bring it up often but figured he had his reasons.

As she walked through the automatic doors into the ER, she was unsurprised to see she had been right about how busy it would be. Every flimsy plastic chair was occupied by a body, and the chatter of conversation was loud. She used to be a pretty frequent flyer and knew the wait would be hours long. She didn't think Jace would have enough pull to get them through quickly.

She went to reception and filled out the necessary paperwork before finding a wall to lean against. Jace soon joined her.

"You don't look too happy," he said, running a thumb over the crease between her brows.

"Don't like hospitals," she replied.

Between watching her mother wither away in a hospital and her trips to the ER when Raphael really lost his temper, she didn't find anything enjoyable about them. The smell of antiseptic always seemed to make her slightly anxious, and she was feeling that right now.

"They're not that bad."

She shrugged her shoulders but didn't reply. She was too focused on trying to calm the churning in her stomach.

Not even twenty minutes later her name was called, and her head snapped up. She gave Jace a questioning look, but he just smiled at her as they followed a nurse into the back. Jace sat in a chair in the corner as Clary took her spot on the paper covered table, the material crinkling under her. A tray with the necessary tools for stitches was next to the table. Her vitals were taken, and the nurse informed them the doctor would be right in.

"How did you manage that?" she asked once the nurse was out of the room.

"I told you I would pull some strings. I don't want to spend my night waiting in the ER and I don't think you do either."

"You could have just dropped me off and I could have called you when I was done," she said, crossing her arms.

"I came home early to spend time with you. I'd rather that time be alone and at home rather than surrounded by strangers in a hospital."

She was about to reply when the door to the room opened. A doctor in a white coat, button down, and slacks walked in, reading a clipboard he carried. Clary recognized him from the last time she had been in, and the unsettling feeling in her stomach grew. He had been pushy about her excuse for her injuries, telling her it would be beneficial for her to just tell the truth.

"So, Miss Fray," he said, bringing his grey eyes up to meet hers, "not in for an accidental fall down the stairs this time, I see."

Clary stiffened, her eyes flicking to Jace. His jaw was clenched, and his fists were in balls at his thighs. The doctor followed her line of sight and cocked his head to the side.

"Dr. Herondale, I didn't see you there," he said, straightening his back.

"Clearly you didn't, Dr. Starkweather," Jace replied, his voice even.

Dr. Starkweather cleared his throat and turned his attention back to Clary. "Let's get you stitched up and back on your way."

Clary looked away as he picked up a syringe to apply local anesthetic to her finger. She had always hated needles and couldn't stand to watch any sort of injection. Her gaze moved to Jace, and he gave her an encouraging smile.

"Not a fan of needles either?" he asked, and she nodded. "Good thing you're not a doctor, then."

She let out a small laugh. "I don't think that one was ever in the cards for me." She had never been good at science and had always been drawn to the arts.

"You sure? I be there's need for a hospital and needle fearing doctor out there somewhere."

She snorted. "Could you imagine a doctor closing their eyes while giving you a shot because they couldn't stand the sight of it?"

"As long as you had it in the right spot before closing your eyes it would be fine."

"Alright, you're all set," Dr. Starkweather said.

Clary looked down to see there was now a thin bandaged wrapped around her finger. Jace had distracted her enough to where she hadn't even noticed the area go numb or the fact that Dr. Starkweather had started to work on the stitches.

"I'm guessing you already know how to properly care for stitches," Dr. Starkweather said with a raised brow.

"Hodge," Jace bit out. "I don't appreciate this attitude you seem to have to night."

"I apologize, Dr. Herondale," he responded, but there was an edge to his voice, and he sounded anything other than apologetic.

Jace narrowed his eyes as he stood up out of his seat. "Don't think I will not be speaking to your supervisor about this," he said as he moved toward the door.

Clary leapt off the table and followed him, glancing at Dr. Starkweather. She thought she could see a hint of fear in his eye but wasn't quite sure. Jace reached behind himself and gently took her uninjured hand as they walked out.

"You don't have to talk to his boss," she said as they made they're way to his car.

"He was very unprofessional and rude in how he spoke to you, Clare."

"He was like that last time. It's no big deal."

"Yeah, we're also going to have to talk about that," he replied.

"What do you mean?"

He gave his head a small shake. "Not right now. When we get home," he said, giving her hand a soft squeeze.

* * *

Clary trailed behind Jace as they entered the penthouse. He had been silent for most of the ride home, only talking to ask her what she wanted as they stopped for takeout. Neither of them were in the mood for her original dinner plans anymore.

She honestly wasn't even hungry in that moment, her stomach feeling weighed down. His silence on the way home had her wondering who he was upset with, and hoping it was just Dr. Starkweather and not her.

"I should, uh, probably clean up the kitchen," she said, watching as he walked into the living room and began putting takeout boxes on the coffee table.

"Leave it," he replied as he sat on the couch, "come sit down. I'll have someone take care of it tomorrow."

She reluctantly walked toward him and sat down. He picked up a paper carton and chopsticks and began eating. After a few minutes, he looked over at her and gave her an expectant look.

"I'm not hungry," she explained.

"You need to eat something, Clare."

She ran her hand through her. "I will. Once you tell me why you're upset and acting weird."

He sighed, setting his food back down on the coffee table. He angled himself to face her, his knees brushing against hers. "I've been thinking about what Starkweather said."

"It's really no big deal, Jace. I'm not bothered by it," she said, even though she had a feeling that wasn't why he had been thinking about it.

"I've also been thinking about what you said this morning." He gently picked up her hands. "I know you've been hiding something from me, and I think I know what it is. But I want you to tell me about it."

"It's nothing," she said.

"Bullshit, Clare." His voice was soft despite his language. "I did my residency in that ER. I heard the fall down the stairs story at least a hundred times. Please, just talk to me."

She bit her lip, pulled her hands away, and stared down at her lap. His voice sounded so desperate. She didn't want to talk about it at all but knew she couldn't keep hiding it. Also, that morning, she said she would explain her comment later. It was now later.

"Raphael and I have a history," she said, continuing to stare at her hands. "The gala wasn't the first time I met him." She felt Jace stiffen next to her, and she swallowed hard. "And last night wasn't the first time he's hurt me."

Her voice was barely above a whisper at this point. It wasn't something she had ever talked about really. Not even with Simon or Izzy. They knew. They'd have to be blind and stupid not to, but she never spoke about it. It made her feel weak. She had been too weak to get away. She'd been too weak to stop him. She'd been too weak to do anything about him.

"Tell me more, Clary," his voice was strained, barely concealing his anger. "I need to know."

She felt tears begin to leak from the corners of her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. She was afraid of what Jace would think of her once she told him everything. Would he still want her?

"W-We dated for a long while," she forced out. "At first, I thought he was perfect. He was kind and caring. But then he started to get really angry and controlling." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "The first time he hit me was after we had gone out to a bar together. He had seen me talking to another guy, and it set him off. The next day he apologized and blamed it on the alcohol. He promised it wouldn't happen again, and I was stupid and naïve and believed him. At first it would only happen when he'd been drinking. Then it started happening when he was sober, and was just worse when he was drunk."

"Why didn't you leave him?" Jace asked quietly.

She shrugged, trying to stop the tears that were streaking down her face. "I was scared both of what he'd do to me if I tried and what he'd said to me. He would always tell me that he was all I had and that nobody else would ever love me. I didn't know anything other than him at the point and had no reason to doubt him. He had isolated me from my friends, and I rarely ever saw Izzy or Simon. I had put my foot down once my mom got sick and managed to get him to let me spend most of my time with her, but I still paid for it whenever I came back home to him."

"How did you mange to get away, then?"

She shook her head, bringing her hands up to her face and let out a sob. That was something nobody besides her and Raphael knew. Simon and Izzy had known he had violently kicked her out. They didn't know _why_ , though. The why was something she'd kept deeply hidden.

She heard Jace shuffle around, and suddenly he was on his knees in front of her, pulling her hands away from her face. He looked at her, his eyes glistening slightly.

"Tell me," he pleaded. "I have to know everything."

"I got p-pregnant," she choked out. "He forgot a condom and my birth control must've failed." She tore her eyes away from his, not able to handle the anger and sympathy swimming in them. She focused on her hands in his instead. "I-I thought he would be happy. But when I showed him the sonogram, he freaked out. He started screaming at me, calling me a gold digger and accusing me of trying to trap him with a child. Told me he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. H-He beat the shit out of me that night, worse than ever before." Her words were barely understandable through her sobs.

Jace ran his thumbs over the backs of her hands. "And you lost the baby, didn't you?"

She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut as she cried harder. He pulled on her hands until she slid off the couch. He then adjusted her so she was straddling his thighs and his arms were around her. She buried her face in his chest and continued to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Clare," he whispered, rubbing a hand up and down her back. "That should have never happened to you."

They sat there for a while, her crying into his shirt and him rubbing comforting circles on her back. He shifted at some point so that he was sitting and no longer on his knees, but he kept her pressed against him as he whispered soothing words into her hair.

When she finally ran out of tears, she leaned back, sniffing and wiping her sleeve under her nose. The way Jace was looking at her made her want to cry all over again. There was such raw emotion on his face, a mix of sadness and anger. She knew the anger wasn't directed at her, though, as his eyes softened when she met them. The adoration she saw in his eyes was too strong, and she had to look away, her eyes dropping to the spot on his shirt where she had been crying.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice hoarse. She felt like all she'd done that day was apologize.

He tilted his head. "For what?"

"I got snot all over your shirt."

He let out a chuckle and smiled down at her, his arms still wrapped around her body. "Baby, you could snot all over me as long as I get to hold you close."

She wrinkled her nose. "That's disgusting."

The smile fell from his face, and he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "How are you doing?"

"I think I'm okay now," she answered quietly.

Even though she had completely broken down, she felt slightly better. She felt less burdened in a way, to finally have it all out in the open. The secret had been weighing her down for months, but she was afraid of what her friends' reactions would be. She was honestly still a little afraid of what Jace's full reaction would be once it all settled in, but it was too late to take anything back.

He stood up, brining her with him, and placed a hand on either side of her face. His thumbs ran gently over her cheeks, removing the remaining wetness there. He then placed a soft kiss to her lips.

"Why don't you go get cleaned up, and I'll reheat the food?" he suggested. When she nodded, he gave her one more kiss before sending her on her way.

She flinched at her appearance in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, and there were streaks down her cheeks from the tears. She quickly turned on the sink and splashed warm water on her face, trying to wipe away the tear marks.

Once she had managed to clean her face and reduce some of the puffiness, she walked back out to the living room. Jace was pacing the area between the table and the couch, his phone pressed firmly against his ear. His body was tense, and she had a feeling it had all finally caught up with him. The anger had taken over his concern for her.

"I'm not asking, Woolsey!" he shouted into the receiver. "I don't give a fuck if he sues me. Let him. I just want all business ties cut right this second." He paused, tugging at his hair. "Figure it out. That's what I'm paying you to do," he growled before ending the call and throwing the phone onto the couch.

"Don't get in trouble because of me," she said as she approached him.

His body visibly relaxed slightly, and he ran another hand through the golden strands on his head. "His ass is lucky I'm not hunting it down right this second. And I thought I wanted to kill him before."

"Hey," she said softly, reaching out and cupping his cheek. "Everything happened in the past. There's no need to worry about it now."

He scoffed, moving out of her touch. "The fucker hurt the woman I love, and I'm supposed to just let him get away with it?"

Her eyes widened, her hand still hanging in the air between them. The beating in her chest picked up and she took a sharp intake of breath.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"D-Do you realize what you just said?"

"That I'm not going to let him get away with hurting you?"

She shook her head frantically, dropping her hand. "You just called me the woman you love."

This time, it was his eyes that widened as he stared at her. "I—" he started, like he was going to try to explain his way out of it.

She decided to cut him off. "Did you mean it?"

He closed his mouth and gave her a silent nod, his eyes burning into hers.

"You love me?" she gasped.

Once again, he nodded. "So goddamn much, Clary."

"I-I think I love you, too," she whispered. As she said the words, though, she knew there was nothing to think about. She knew she did.

She had barely finished the sentence before he was on her, his hands buried in her hair and his mouth hot on hers.

He pulled away, panting heavily. "You have no idea how glad I am you said that." He then pulled her into his chest, resting his chin on her head. "And that bastard is never going to hurt you again. I promise to always keep you safe from now on."


	13. Chapter 12

Clary held CeeCee's hand tightly as they maneuvered their way through crowds of shoppers. Jordan was trailing closely behind them, attentive with his eyes scanning the mall and looking for anyone or anything out of place. CeeCee was trying to walk ahead of Clary, but Clary's grip on her and CeeCee's short arms and legs wouldn't allow her to do so. Clary remembered how easily Jace had lost her that day when they first met. The mall hadn't even been busy then. She was not about to risk losing her in the pre-Christmas rush.

It was less than two weeks before Christmas, and CeeCee had managed to convince Clary to take her shopping. Clary had been hoping to push the responsibility off on Jace, but CeeCee had argued that if she was buying her father a gift, then he couldn't come along and ruin the surprise. Clary herself hadn't bought anything for Jace yet either. She didn't even have a general idea of what to get him. What do you gift someone who has the ability to get anything they want?

Clary came out of her thoughts as CeeCee pulled her into a small, nondescript store.

"Socks?" she asked, looking at the walls. The store had a wide selection of cuts, from ankle to thigh high, and most of the socks came in funky patterns.

CeeCee nodded animatedly. "Uh huh. Daddy only has boring ones. He needs fun ones to make him happy."

Clary let out a laugh and let go of CeeCee's hand. She kept an eye on her as she wandered around the store, though. She was amazed by, and slightly jealous of, the little girl's ability to come up with such a simple but meaningful gift idea. However, she figured crazy socks wasn't exactly the kind of thing you gifted someone you recently declared your love to.

Twenty minutes later, CeeCee came running up to Clary with two pairs of crew cut socks clutched tightly in her hands. Her eyes were shining and she was bouncing on the balls of her feet. One pair was black and decorated with colorful paintbrushes and pallets. The other pair was dark purple and covered with the members of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

"Are those your choices?" Clary asked.

"Yup!" CeeCee replied, handing Clary the socks so she could check out with them. "The Turtles are to remind him of me and the paintbrushes are to remind him of you," she said, beaming.

Clary stopped in her tracks and turned back to her. "To remind him of me?"

"Because you like to paint!"

Clary stared at her silently for a moment, thinking. She and CeeCee had grown close, especially since she got back from Thanksgiving with Kaelie. She'd gone on and on about how much she had missed Clary and had become slightly clingy. Despite their closeness, this small gesture had thrown Clary off. Was she really that important to CeeCee that she had incorporated her into her and her father's life through a Christmas present? Or was she just reading too much into it?

CeeCee too Clary's silence the wrong way, and her face fell. "Won't Daddy like them?"

Clary quickly regained her composure and smiled at her. "Of course he will, sweetie. He'll love it."

CeeCee's expression returned to her original excited one, and she followed Clary to the check out counter. Once they paid, Clary took CeeCee's hand again and led her outside to where Jordan had been waiting for them.

They started to walk through the crowds again, Christmas carols pouring out through the mall speakers. White Christmas began to play, and Clary's steps faltered slightly. Jordan noticed, though, and gave her a questioning look. She just shook her head slightly, as sharp pain filling her chest.

Jocelyn had been one of those people who went all out for Christmas. As soon as Thanksgiving was over, their house was filled with the scent of sugar cookies and every corner was covered in decorations. They spent the month leading up to the day listening to Christmas songs on the radio and watching Christmas movies on the television. White Christmas had been Jocelyn's favorite, and so far Clary had avoided anything that would remind her of it.

"Do you know what you want to get your mom?" Clary asked after clearing the thickness from her throat.

CeeCee nodded in return. "A charm bracelet."

"That sounds nice," Clary replied, keeping her voice even. She couldn't help but worry a little bit. The only jewelry store in the mall wasn't on the same level as the kind that she knew Kaelie probably got her jewelry from. It definitely wasn't anywhere close to a Tiffany's. CeeCee was really excited about the gifts she was buying for her parents, and Clary was worried about Kaelie having any sort of adverse reaction to CeeCee's present if it didn't fit her standards.

They passed the Santa's Village that was set up in the middle of the mall, a large line of parents and children waiting their turn to get their pictures taken with him. Clary was suddenly hit with an idea, and she turned to CeeCee.

"Do you want to visit Santa before we go home today?" she asked. She didn't even know if Santa was something CeeCee still believed in, or if Jace and Kaelie even played along with the tradition, but the picture would be important for her present to Jace.

CeeCee's eyes lit up at her question. "Can we really?"

"Of course." She wondered why, if she was so excited about the prospect, she hadn't asked or brought it up.

"Daddy helps me write letters to Santa but Mommy doesn't let me see him," CeeCee explained, as if she could read Clary's mind.

"So this will be your first time visiting him?"

CeeCee nodded, and Clary frowned. She didn't understand why they would keep that experience away from her. In her opinion, visiting Santa in the mall was an important staple of childhood Christmases. She didn't like that CeeCee had yet to do it, but a small part of her was glad because it would make her gift for Jace even better.

"Can you keep visiting Santa a secret?" she asked, not wanting CeeCee to ruin the element of surprise she now had.

"I thought secrets were bad?" CeeCee said, cocking her head to the side.

"Some secrets can be good." Clary smiled. "Like surprises. This is a good secret, okay?"

"Okay!"

Clary was glad CeeCee easily agreed. She wanted the picture as a reference point for a painting she wanted to make for Jace. She didn't have much time with Christmas being so close, but she believed she could get it done if she focused on it and got started right away. She mentally went through the supplies she had at home and decided she would only need to get a new canvas, which they could stop for on their way back.

CeeCee dragged Clary into the mall's singular jewelry store. Jordan waited outside again, and Clary was jealous of him. She felt uncomfortable surrounded by diamonds, gold, and silver. Jocelyn had never been big on fancy jewelry. The most expensive thing she had owned was a pair of pearl earrings. Because of that, Clary never got into jewelry herself, not that she ever really had the money to afford it anyway. Raphael had bought her fancy necklaces, rings, and bracelets when he first started getting violent as apology presents. She never wore them, though, and they ended up getting pawned once she needed money.

CeeCee chatted excitedly with the store associate, explaining what she wanted to get for her mother. She spent a solid hour having the associate pull different bracelets and charms before she was finally satisfied with what she had. She'd been adamant about wanting the charms to have some sort of meaning. Clary was dying of boredom and would have felt bad for the associate if he wasn't about to make such a large sale.

Clary held onto the bag from the store, not wanting to risk CeeCee losing something so expensive. They made their way to Santa's Village, CeeCee's excitement growing. Clary held onto her hand as CeeCee talked a mile a minute with Jordan. Clary wasn't really paying attention to their conversation, looking at the surrounding storefronts instead.

Her eyes landed on a Victoria's Secret, and another plan popped into her head. Jace had been treating her like a fragile China doll ever since she'd spilled about her past with Raphael. He had barely touched her in _that_ way, and when he did he was almost too gentle with her. Not that she minded gentle, but she was tired of him acting like she was going to break. It was something that she had been afraid would happen once she told him everything. There was also the fact he was spending a lot more time at the office for the past week or so. He was trying to catch up on work so he could take more time off for the upcoming holiday. He was stressed out, and she could sense it.

Looking at the skimpy lingerie the model was wearing in the display window, Clary came up with an idea to help him alleviate some of that stress and get herself what she needed. Tomorrow was Friday, and CeeCee was going to Kaelie's for the weekend. Because of that, she knew Jace had plans to stay extra late at the office and maybe even go in on Friday. Clary figured she could pick up something sexy from the store and surprise him on Friday night after she dropped CeeCee off.

She gave CeeCee's hand over to Jordan. "I'll be right back," she said, starting to step out of line. She knew she could be back in time for CeeCee's turn with how long the line was at the moment.

Jordan lightly grabbed her elbow with his free hand. "You're not supposed to go off on your own."

Clary pointed to the nearby store. "I am not taking you and CeeCee lingerie shopping with me," she explained.

Jordan followed her finger and nodded in understanding. "Okay. Be quick, though."

Lingerie was another foreign concept to Clary. Sure, she'd been in the store before to buy bras and panties, but lingerie was a completely different ballgame. She had no idea what men found most appealing or what Jace would be interested in. She walked around the store, looking at different garments made of lace, satin, and everything in between. A few bustiers caught her attention, but she didn't think they'd be something she could pull off, so she found herself looking at babydolls instead.

She found a Christmas-y one that was a dark red. The cups were covered in an intricate lace design and the rest of it was sheer except for a small white fir trim along the bottom. She picked one that she thought might be her size and shyly asked an associate for a dressing room to try it on.

She took a moment to really study herself in the mirror once she had the garment on. The cups gave her breasts a nice lift, and then sheer material hid none of the rest of her body. She couldn't help but notice the way her curves had filled out nicely recently. She had lost her appetite between the stress of Raphael and her mom and didn't eat very well, which led to her dropping a lot of weight. She'd gained most of it back over the past few months, and she couldn't say she was disappointed.

She left the dressing room with the babydoll clutched tightly in her hand before heading to a display table to look for panties. She wanted something new and a little more daring than what she normally wore. Her underwear choices usually consisted of cheekies or boyshorts. There was probably only one or two thongs in her underwear drawer at the moment. When she found a barely-there, lace thong in the same red as the babydoll she decided to take a risk and purchase it.

As she headed toward the cash register counter, she got an odd feeling, like she was being watched. It was a prickling on her neck an unsettling feeling in her stomach that she'd felt a few times before. When she turned head around to scan the store, she could have sworn she saw a flash of familiar white hair exiting and turning the corner. She told herself it was nothing. The mall was busy and there were tons of white-haired men around. Yet, she still rushed to make her purchase and return to Jordan.

She schooled her features by time she reached Jordan and CeeCee, having convinced herself she was overreacting and imagining things. Jordan gave her an acknowledging nod as she rejoined them in line. There were only two families in front of them, and Clary could feel CeeCee buzzing with excitement.

"What are you going to ask Santa for?" Clary asked, deciding to give Jordan a reprieve from her endless chatter.

CeeCee shook her head, her blonde curls bouncing slightly. "It's a secret. The good kind," she responded. A sly smile was on her face, making her look so much like her father. Knowing what thoughts Jace usually had when he made that same expression, Clary wondered what CeeCee was plotting.

"Are you sure?" Clary pressed. "I won't tell anyone if you tell me."

"Nope." CeeCee made the age-old motion of zipping her lips, locking them, and throwing away the key.

Clary eyed her suspiciously but decided to drop the subject. She didn't think CeeCee had anything bad in mind, but she still didn't like not knowing what the little girl was up to. CeeCee was never one to really keep secrets or hide things, and Clary was wondering why she was choosing now to do so.

Clary and Jordan stood nearby as CeeCee was finally able to take her turn on Santa's lap. She was grinning and conversing easily with the man in the suit. Clary guessed he asked her what she wanted for Christmas because she quickly threw a glance at Clary before bringing her hand up to hide her face as she whispered something into the man's ear. The man also looked over in Clary's direction, and she found herself wondering what CeeCee and Santa were plotting.

* * *

Friday night found Clary in the elevator of Herondale Pharmaceuticals on her way to the top floor. She had dropped CeeCee off at Kaelie's earlier, and then gone home to shower, shave, and change. Her new babydoll and panties were hidden by her only her thick winter coat, and her singular pair of stilettos were on her feet.

She was suddenly overcome with a wave of nervousness. She had been confident in her choice earlier, asking Jordan to drive her to Jace's office and telling him she would get a ride back with Jace. She had gotten Jordan to agree to not tell Jace of her plans to show up because she wanted it to be a surprise, but now she was having doubts. She didn't know how Jace would react to just showing up out of nowhere at his place of work.

Before she could chicken out, the elevator dinged, indicating its arrival to her destination. The doors slid open, and she gave herself a mental pep talk as she walked towards his office doors. She paused outside the door, taking a few deep breaths and finally knocking on its wooden surface.

"Come in?" Jace called. It came out sounding more like a question, and she guessed that was because he wasn't expecting anybody else to be around this late.

She slowly turned the handle and pushed the door open, slipping into the office through a small crack. She shut the door, reaching behind her to lock it just in case.

"Clary?" Jace said, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "What are you doing here?" He was sitting behind his desk, a laptop perched in the middle with various papers scattered all around it. His hair was a mess on top of his head, and she knew he had been running his hands through it.

She shrugged as she walked toward him on shaky legs, her heart beating heavily in her chest. "I just wanted to give you an early Christmas present."

He cocked his head to the side. "Is that so?"

"Yes," she answered, moving to stand between him and his desk. His eyes traveled slowly up her bare legs, and her face flamed. "Do you want to open it?"

When he nodded, she took his hand in one of her trembling ones and brought it to the zipper at the top of her coat. He gave her a questioning look, and, with her hand still over his, she began to slowly pull the zipper down. She removed her hand once he caught on and continued to pull the zipper down himself.

His sharp intake of breath echoed through the silence of the room once he had her coat completely open, revealing the lingerie beneath. She watched as his eyes darkened. He brought his hands up, sliding them under the coat on her shoulders and pushing it off. The coat fell to the ground, completely revealing Clary's outfit.

Jace pushed his chair back slightly, twirling an index finger around in the air. Clary spun around for him, hearing him groan once he saw her bare ass cheeks.

"Are you trying to make it onto the naughty list?" he asked once she was facing him again. His voice was husky, sending tingles to the pit of her stomach.

"I think I made it onto the naughty list the moment I started sleeping with my boss," she said, smiling slightly.

He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him. "I don't know, Miss Fray. I think that was actually really _nice_ of you."

Now that she was closer to him, she could see the dark circles under his eyes. Reaching out, she placed her hands on either side of his face and ran her thumbs lightly under her eyes. "You need to get more sleep."

She let out a yelp as he pulled her down so she was straddling his lap. He was already hard beneath her.

"I don't think you came here dressed like that so I could sleep," he murmured before placing a kiss at the base of her throat.

"I didn't," she replied, tilting her head back to give him better access to her neck.

He trailed kisses up her neck as hands moved down to grab her ass. When his mouth finally landed on hers, he pulled her tighter against him, the bulge in his pants hitting her in just the right spot. She moaned lightly into his mouth, rocking her hips against him. His hands began to wander, and he slipped his fingers into the lacy material of her panties. She pulled away from him, shaking her head and climbing off his lap.

"What are you—"

He immediately stopped as she dropped down to her knees between his legs, her hands going straight to his belt buckle. She made quick work of his buckle, button, and zipper, and pulled his pants and underwear down just enough to free his straining erection. She pumped his length a few times, causing him to throw his head back and groan.

"Fuck," he hissed as she ran her tongue from the base of his cock to the tip.

She wrapped her lips around him, and he fisted a hand in her hair. She looked up at him through her lashes; his head was still thrown back and his eyes were closed. His breathing was becoming more ragged as she swirled her tongue around the tip, and she knew he was getting close. She redoubled her efforts, humming and moving a little faster.

"Clary, baby," he breathed. "Stop, stop."

He gently tugged on her hair, and she removed her mouth from. She looked up at him, her brow furrowed and the corners of her mouth turning down. She was worried she had done something wrong even though he had seemed to have been enjoying himself.

"Did you not like it?" she asked, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Baby, you were amazing. I just don't want to come yet," he explained. "Stand up."

She did as he said, moving to stand between his legs. She was forced to move backwards as he moved his chair forward, her butt hitting the edge of the desk. He reached around her to close his laptop, moving it and the scatter of papers to one side. He gripped her hips and lifted her slightly, so she was sitting on top of the desk.

He stood up, switching their roles so he was the one standing between her legs. He leaned over and attached his mouth to hers, his right hand cupping her cheek and his left moving slowly down her body and slipping under the lace of her panties. He ran the tip of his tongue along her bottom lip, and she parted her lips to give him access.

His tongue slipped into her mouth at the same he thrust two fingers into her. Her responding moan was muffled by his mouth, and she spread her legs a little wider for him. He skillfully curled his fingers inside of her and moved his thumb to rub her tiny bundle of nerves, and her stomach began to coil. He moved his mouth down to her neck, and she moved her hands to his shoulder to steady herself.

He bit and nipped at her skin as he continued his ministrations on her. She was writhing on his desk, the pressure in her abdomen building. Jace gently raked his teeth over her earlobe, and then she felt his breath hot against her ear.

"Come for me, Clary," he whispered to her.

His voice was soft but commanding, and she almost immediately came undone on his hand. While she rode out her orgasm, he managed to flip her over. He had her feet firmly planted on the floor with her legs spread, and her chest was pressed against the desk. She felt him slide her panties down her legs and lift one of her feet to remove them.

"Condom," she managed to say. "Left coat pocket."

She heard him rustling around, followed by the sound of a foil packet being torn open. He then came up behind her again, grabbing her arms. He moved them so that her hands were at the other edge of the desk. He took his own hands over hers and wrapped her fingers around the edge. His hands moved up her arms and then down her back before finding purchase on her hips. She felt his body against hers as he leaned down to bring his face next to hers.

"I'm going to need you to hold on tight," he rasped in her ear before slamming into her.

* * *

"What's one of your favorite Christmas traditions?" Jace asked, taking another bite of pizza.

They were sitting on the floor of his office, their backs against his desk. There was a pizza on the floor between them. Jace had gotten it delivered after they both came down from their highs. They'd been asking each other holiday-related questions back and forth.

"Christmas cookies," she replied without hesitation. She also took a bite of pizza, being careful not to spill anything on the white button up Jace let her borrow to cover herself. "My mom always went all out with the cookies around Christmas. She was a baking machine, and we would spend hours decorating them together."

"You sound like you really miss her," he said, reaching over and placing a hand on her knee.

She nodded and decided to give Jace some more information for once. She had told herself she wanted to be more honest with him after the Raphael ordeal, and she knew her mother was going to have to be part of that.

"She, uh, passed away a little less than a year ago."

Jace gently squeezed her knee. "I know."

She looked at him, tilting her head to the side. "You do?"

"It was in the background check I ran before hiring you."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

He shrugged. "I didn't want to pry and figured you'd tell me about it whenever you were ready. I remember how much I hated people bringing up my mother at first, and I honestly didn't know how recent her passing was. I just knew that it had happened."

She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes at the fact he had been so understanding. "I really appreciate that," she said, her voice cracking a little. She quickly cleared her throat before changing the subject. She didn't want to continue discussing her mother right then. "So, what about you? Favorite tradition?"

He hummed quietly while he thought about it. "I think I'd have to say ice skating in Rockefeller Center. Although, you surprising me with festive lingerie might replace that."

Clary felt her cheeks flush at that. "I've never been," she said, ignoring the second half of his response.

"Ice skating?" he asked, not even trying to hide his shock.

"Yeah. I don't think I ever really had a desire to go as a child. I'd rather sit home and draw or read, you know? I think my mom was the same way, which is probably why she never tried to take me."

"Well, now I know what we're doing tomorrow."

She snorted. "No way."

"Why not?"

She turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "For starters, you already have plans to work tomorrow. Second of all, I don't feel like eating shit in front of a bunch of strangers and children."

He moved his hand from her knee and grabbed her hand instead. "I know you took tonight off for me, so it's the least I could do to return the favor. Plus, I'll make sure to hold your hand the whole time so you don't fall."

She shook her head. "The answer is still no. If you want to go, by all means go ahead. I'm just not joining."

He rolled his eyes, but a small smile spread across his face. "If you agree to follow my tradition and go ice skating with me tomorrow, I'll let you follow your tradition and make Christmas cookies with CeeCee."

She narrowed her eyes at him, prepared to negotiate. The idea of baking and decorating with CeeCee was extremely appealing, and she knew she had Jocelyn's old recipes stored away somewhere. However, she wasn't going to compromise on her half of the deal. "Gingerbread _and_ sugar?"

"Icing and all," he responded, his grin growing.

She bit the inside of her cheek and contemplated the offer. "Throw in a gingerbread house, and not the store-bought shit either, and you have a deal."

"Great! It's settled then. I'll take the afternoon off tomorrow, and we'll go to Rockefeller Center."

Clary removed her hand from his and ran it through her hair, her fingers catching in the knots left behind from their earlier activities. Rockefeller center was already a big tourist destination, and it got even worse around Christmas time. There would be giant crowds of people there, people who would see her and Jace together. They had agreed to keep their relationship on the down low, and she didn't know if that still applied.

"What are you thinking about?" Jace asked.

"That's just a really public place," she said looking down at her hands in her lap.

"So?" he pushed.

"People would see us together, and I just didn't know if you'd thought about that."

He hooked an index finger under her chin and lifted her face, forcing her to look at him. "Clary, love, I don't care if people see us together. In fact, I'd be proud to be seen with you and have people know you're mine." He paused, his brow furrowing slightly. "Unless you have a problem with it?"

She sunk her teeth into her lip, unable to pull her eyes away from his. He looked so insecure in that moment, and she felt terrible that it was because of her. "It's not that I don't want to be seen with you, it's just—" She cut herself off, closing her eyes briefly while she tried to gather her thoughts. She was trying not to compare him to Raphael in her mind, but she couldn't stop it. "People are going to have different reactions for me than they are for you."

"What do you mean?" he asked, removing his hand from her chin.

She let her gaze drop, her eyes focusing on his chest instead of his face. "People will be really happy for you, but they're going to have more adverse reactions for me. During my last relationship, people didn't have the kindest things to say when they found out I was a broke college student from a single-parent household. They thought I was just using him for his money and that I was some kind of gold digger. I can't imagine what they'll say when word gets out about us, especially considering I _work_ for you."

"You never struck me as someone who cares what others think or say."

"That's not what I'm worried about," she replied, still not looking at him. When he didn't say anything in return, she decided to elaborate. "I-I don't want what they say to change _your_ opinion."

"Hey," he said gently, "please look at me."

She brought her gazed back up to his, startled slightly by how soft and sad his eyes looked. He reached out, cupping her face in his hand.

"Nothing anybody could say would ever make me change my mind about you, Clare." He leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. "I _know_ who you are, and I know you're not like that. I've seen the way you've acted with CeeCee and you can't fake that level of kindness and caring." He gently ran his thumb over her cheekbone. "But if it makes you uncomfortable, we can always go somewhere less public."

She knew he had tried to hide the disappointment from his voice, but he had failed terribly. She didn't want him to be disappointed or upset, and she knew that they had to go public eventually. With a sigh, she said, "No. We can stick to the original plan. People are going to find out about us at some point, so there's no point in hiding it, right?"

A dazzling smile broke out across his face. "Exactly. Plus, people usually don't pay any attention to me unless I'm at some event. We should be fine. And if anyone tries to give you shit, I'll be right there to set them straight."

He brought his lips to hers again, and they lost themselves in each other for a second time that night.

* * *

The next night she found herself at Pandemonium despite wishing she could have taken another night off. Her legs were sore, and one of her palms was scraped from when she had fallen at the rink. She had managed to take Jace down with her in the process, and he was sporting a bruise on his knee that probably matched the one forming on her ass.

Overall, the day had been really fun, though. Jace had been patient with her as she held the rail tightly in one hand and his hand in the other for the first thirty minutes or so. When he finally coaxed her to let go of the rail, they had skated hand-in-hand around the rink, stopping to kiss every once in awhile. She still demanded they stuck close the wall even if she wasn't using it for support anymore.

After they had their fill of skating, Jace had taken her to a nearby café for hot chocolate. They had then gone home so she could take a quick nap before work. It had been a simple afternoon together, and it was one of the best she had had in a while. She wondered if it counted as their first date, but it had never explicitly been labeled as a date at all.

Despite her amazing day, Simon was putting a serious damper on her good mood. He had been short with her all night, and she had no idea why. She wanted to confront him but the club had been too busy for her to have the chance.

She had returned to the bar after delivering a table's order when Simon came up next to her with his arms crossed.

"Verlac's here. Usual booth," he said. His tone was bored, none of his normal teasing about Sebastian there. He also didn't even look at her, looking over her shoulder instead.

She nodded and let Helen know she needed Sebastian's usual. She headed in the booth's direction, deciding she would confront Simon after taking care of Sebastian no matter what. She was sure she could get someone to cover her for a few minutes.

Sebastian was a lot less chatty than usual with her tonight, and she was extremely thankful that somebody finally seemed to be on her side for the night. She had excused herself after giving him his drink and talking briefly with him and was now on the hunt for Simon. He was no longer at the bar, not that she fully expected him to be.

Finally, she found him near the front door. She knew that someone else was manning the doors and had a feeling he was just trying his best to not be anywhere near her that night. Taking a deep breath, she marched up to him.

"What the hell is your problem tonight?" she asked, raising her voice in order to be heard over the music.

He shrugged, still refusing to look at her. "Don't have a problem."

"Oh? So you're just being a dick for no reason?"

He shrugged again but didn't say anything.

She let out a frustrated growl, throwing her hands up in the air. "Talk to me, Simon!"

His eyes darted to hers for the briefest second. "Do you have something to tell me?" he asked.

She frowned, her brow crinkling in confusion. "No? But I have a feeling you think I do."

He pulled his phone out and fiddled around with it for a moment before turning the screen to her. "Care to explain?"

Clary's eyes widened at what he had pulled up. It was an article from some gossip site, and the photo accompanying it was of her and Jace sharing a kiss at the ice skating rink. Her eyes scanned over the text, which talked about Jace Herondale shacking up with a new red-headed mystery woman. The author also speculated about what had happened to Aline and how she would handle the news.

She had been so worried about what people in Jace's social circle would say, that she had forgotten all about her friends. Simon didn't know that anything had happened between her and Jace in the first place. Izzy knew about their initial kiss and that they had decided to see where things went, but she had no idea that they had become way more serious since then.

"Simon, I—"

"How long has this been going on?" he asked, cutting her off.

"Awhile," she answered, beginning to feel guilty that she had kept him in the dark for so long.

"And you're still working for him?" he scoffed.

She nodded. "I still need the job, Si."

He sneered at her. "Are you on the clock when he fucks you? Does he pay you more to warm his bed?"

His words were filled with hostility, and there was a fire burning in his eyes. Without thinking about it, she reached out a slapped her hand across his cheek, her palm stinging from the impact. He didn't seem phased by the hit, though.

"So you've learned how to handle conflict from Raphael, huh? Real nice, Clary," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "What are you going to take away from Herondale? How to sell yourself for money?"

Tears stung at the back of her eyes as she lashed out physically again, not knowing what else to do or how to handle the emotions swimming through her. Her hands beat against his chest as she yelled at him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she cried. "Why are you being so cruel? What did I—"  
She was cut off as a pair of arms wrapped around her waist and she was pulled away from him. She flailed her arms and legs, trying desperately to free herself. The person just pulled them tighter against their chest in response.

"What the hell is going on?" Bat asked. Clary could feel the vibrations of his voice against her back.

Clary stilled in his grasp, placing her feet back on the floor as embarrassment flooded her at the way she had just been caught acting. Simon continued to stand there with his arms crossed, saying nothing.

"Somebody better fucking answer me," Bat demanded.

Simon shrugged, his face remaining stoic. "Ask her. She's the one that went all psycho."

"He's the one acting like an asshole!" she shouted, feeling the need to defend herself.

"And you're the one acting like a whore," he shot back.

Clary went to lunge at him again, but Bat tightened his hold.

"Hey!" Bat said. "There's no need for that, Lewis. Now I don't know what is going on between you two, and frankly I don't think I want to, but you are causing a scene."

Clary looked around to see that were quite a few people staring. She forced herself to relax in his grasp. "Sorry," she muttered.

Bat finally released her. "I think you should take the rest of the night off, Clary."

She whirled around to look at him, her stomach dropping. "But—"

He put a hand up to stop her. "I'm not doing this to punish you, but you need to cool down."

"Why does _he_ get to stay?" she whined, cringing when she realized she sounded like a petulant child.

"Because Lewis isn't the one losing his shit and throwing his hands all over the place. Like I said, I just need you to cool down. You won't be doing anybody any good with how worked up you are right now."

She sighed, knowing she wouldn't be able to focus clearly on her work with how angry and upset she was at the moment. "Okay," she relented. "I'll go."

"I'm going to put you two on different shifts next weekend," Bat said as she turned to walk away. "And if you can't get your shit together, I'll keep it that way. I can't have you going at each other's throats every time you see each other."

"Fine by me," she said as Simon nodded curtly.

* * *

Her feet dragged as she walked into the penthouse. She had spent the entire ride home trying to understand what had happened. She was still struggling to figure out what had led Simon to say the things he had. He had never insulted her before, and everything he had said that night had been filled with such malice.

She knew that he had been blindsided by her and Jace's relationship, but that didn't justify his actions. He was hurt, and she understood that. She just couldn't wrap her mind around his reaction. They had never really fought before, and this had been a terrible fight. It was completely unlike him. He had been trying to hurt her back, and if she was being honest with herself, he had succeeded.

Everything he had said was wrong, and she knew that. The thing was, other people didn't know that. If her best friend had those thoughts, what would complete strangers think? And while Jace had said he didn't care what anybody said, she didn't know how well he'd be able to stick to that once other people started to get involved.

As she fully entered the penthouse, her eyes fell on Jace, who was sitting on the couch watching some documentary on the TV. He looked over the back of the couch at her as she approached him, and his brow furrowed. "You're home early," he said. "What happened?"

She had kept herself composed for the entire car ride with Jordan, and for some reason Jace asking her what happened just set her off. She suddenly burst into tears, and Jace cursed under his breath. He jumped over the back off the couch so he was standing in front of her. He took her face in his hands, his eyes frantically scanning over her body.

"Was it Raphael again?" he questioned. "Did that fucker touch you?"

She shook her head as much as she could with his hold on her. She was sobbing too hard to say anything, though.

Jace removed his hands from her face and gently led her over to the couch. He sat her down and then crouched in front of her, placing his hands on her knees. "Talk to me, baby," he pled.

"I-It was S-Simon," she managed to say through her tears.

His face hardened, and his grip on her knees tightened. "What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head again, struggling to catch her breath. Everything had just hit her so hard, and there was a tightening in her chest. She was overwhelmed with the thought that all she wanted to do right now was go over to Izzy's apartment and cry her eyes out over a bottle of wine and ice cream. She couldn't do that, though. Izzy's apartment was also Simon's apartment. Izzy was Simon's fiancée. She couldn't go over and complain about Izzy's fiancée to her.

Jace started running his hands up and down her legs. "Hey, deep breaths," he said, his voice soft and quiet. "Just focus on breathing in and out."

She focused on his calming voice as he continued to tell her to just breathe until she was finally able to calm down. She ran her sleeve under her nose and sniffled. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice barely audible.

He picked himself off the floor and sat next to her on the couch. "Don't apologize," he said as he picked up one of her hands and held it. "What happened with Simon?"

She launched into the story of their fight and ended up in tears again by the end of it. He was holding her close against him, running soothing circles over her back. She had her face pressed against his chest and was enjoying the feeling of the rise and fall of his chest against her cheek.

"I have half a mind to go kick his ass," Jace said into her hair. "He should have never even thought about saying that shit to you." He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"It's probably not the worst thing that people will say," she muttered.

"Clary," he sighed as he held her closer, "I already told you that what people say doesn't mean anything. You know how I feel about you and I know how you feel about me. That's all that matters right now."

She hummed in response.

"And I'm sorry this came out so fast. I honestly didn't expect anyone to care enough to snap a picture and sell it to one of the sites."

"It's not your fault. Bound to happen anyway, you know? Plus, now people know that you're mine," she said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"I love you," he said, placing another kiss on top of her head.

"I know." She smiled into his chest. He hadn't said it since the first time. "I love you, too."


	14. Chapter 13

A rush of hot hair hit Clary in the face as she opened the oven door and slid in a metal baking sheet covered in cookies. Closing the door, she set a timer before turning back to where CeeCee was standing on a stepstool and using cookie cutters to make shapes out of the dough—snowmen, trees, and stockings. There were already a few batches sitting on racks on the counters in order to cool enough for them to either put away or decorate.

CeeCee had wanted to make enough for Clary to give away to people and for her to give to Kaelie's family, her father, and the Lightwoods. She kept rambling about how excited she was to spend Christmas with "Uncle" Alec and the Lightwoods in a few days. Clary had tried to change the subject multiple times, but CeeCee kept going back to it.

Clary didn't know if she herself was still going to the Lightwoods for Christmas. She knew Maryse, Robert, and Alec would be welcoming and glad to have her over. Simon would be there, though, and they hadn't talked at all or seen each other since their fight. Izzy had tried calling her multiple times a day, but Clary kept ignoring it. She was afraid to talk to her after everything that happened, not knowing if she was about to get another verbal lashing from one of her best friends.

Right on cue, her phone rang in her pocket, Izzy's special ringtone playing from the speaker. Clary let the call go to voicemail once again. Her phone dinged, indicating a message was left. She had been ignoring those, too, and knew her voicemail inbox had to be filling up.

Ceecee began placing cookies on another sheet, and Clary worked on rerolling the left-over scraps of dough. CeeCee tried to stifle a yawn, and Clary glanced at the clock. She hadn't realized how late it had gotten, and it was close to CeeCee's bedtime.

"Once these are all in the oven, you're going to bed," she said. "We'll have plenty of time to decorate them tomorrow."

CeeCee pouted but didn't attempt to argue. "Promise?"

Clary smiled at her. "Promise," she said, holding up a pinky finger. CeeCee wrapped her pinky around Clary's, and they each pressed their mouths to their own hands before letting go. It was the way they made their new and improved version of a pinky promise.

CeeCee eagerly went back to work, and once the final batch was in the oven, she follows Clary's directions. Clary wanted to have her in bed right away, but she was covered in flower and pieces of sugar cookie dough. Clary ran a bath while the cookies baked and kept an ear out as CeeCee bathed herself.

By the time CeeCee was done, Clary had the last batch cooling on the counter. Clary tucked CeeCee into bed, the little girl wearing fuzzy pajamas donning the snowman from the movie _Frozen_. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Clary began to read one of the many Dr. Seuss books CeeCee had to choose from. The child's soft snores filled the room not even halfway through the book, though, and Clary silently put the book away before exiting the room.

Clary went back into the kitchen to start putting everything away and clean up the mess they had made. She had put all the cookies and ingredients away, washed all the dishes, and was wiping down the counters when a strong pair of arms wrapped around her waist. She was immediately enveloped in the familiar scent of sandalwood and lemon and smile broke out on her face.

Turning around in Jace's arms, Clary placed a kiss against his lips. "Hey," she greeted. "I missed you." He was still pulling late nights in order to take off the amount of time that he was planning.

"Missed you, too," he responded. "Looks like you had a productive night." He threw his head in the direction of all the Tupperware containers full of cookies.

Clary laughed, wrapping her arms around him and looking up at him. "We might have gotten a little carried away."

"I can think of a few other things I'd like you to get carried away with," he said, a smirk forming on his lips.

The second he pressed his mouth against hers, her phone started to ring in her pocket. She groaned, fishing it out and rejecting the call before placing the device on the counter. Jace still pulled away from her, though.

"Was that Izzy?" he asked, and she nodded. "You should call her back."

Clary tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes at him. "Whose side are you on?"

He shrugged, stepping out of his arms. "Nobody's side. I know this has been stressing you out, and it would help if you just talked it out with her."

"And?" she pushed, knowing there was something else.

He gave her a guilty smile. "She's started calling me nonstop trying to get you, including calls to my office. My poor secretary is about to lose her mind if she has to talk to Isabelle one more time."

Clary crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the counter behind her. "Mhm. So you want me to talk to her so she leaves you and your secretary alone?"

"I mean, yes," he said with nonchalance, "but I also know you miss your best friend and need to talk to her."

Clary brought her bottom lip between her teeth. Jace was right, not that she wanted to admit that to him. She was missing Izzy, and they did need to talk. Even though she was scared of what Izzy had to say, she knew they had to at least hash things out. Also, not knowing how Izzy was feeling was killing her. She didn't know if she was having similar feelings to Simon or was mad about what Simon had done or whatever else she could be feeling.

She was brought out of her thoughts as he reached out and pulled her lip free, running his thumb gently over it. "Your mouth is far too lovely for you to treat it the way you do," he said, his eyes growing darker.

The look he was giving her caused a familiar, pleasant tingling in her abdomen. Reluctantly, she moved her face just out of his reach. "Didn't you just tell me to call Izzy back?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He smirked, taking a step closer to her so she was in his reach once more. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her flush against him. "I did, but it's getting late. You can call her in the morning."

* * *

Clary nervously tapped her foot as she sat at a small corner table in Java Jones. It was a quaint little café down the street from Jace's complex, and it was Izzy's choice of meeting place. Clary had called her that morning, as promised. Her best friend had seemed glad to hear from her finally but insisted on meeting in person instead of talking over the phone. She held a latte between her hands, and there was a cappuccino sitting across from her for when Izzy showed.

The festive bells tied to the door handle jingle, indicating someone had entered. Clary's head snapped up, and she watched as Isabelle confidently strode into the small building. She approached Clary's table, her face remaining neutral and giving nothing away. She slid into the chair across from her, flicking her pin straight black hair over her shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, jumping right into things. She tried to keep her expression passive, but Clary noticed a flicker of hurt cross through her pale blue eyes.

"You're going to have to be more specific," Clary said quietly, not knowing if she was talking about Jace or what happened with Simon.

"Simon showed me the article."

Clary let out a puff of air and stared at the drink in her hands. "We were just seeing where things went, and I didn't want to say anything until it got more serious. But then it got serious really fast, and I never got the chance. That day was the first time we went out in public together and someone just happened to be paying enough attention to oust us."

Izzy was quiet for a moment as she drank from her cappuccino. "You looked really happy in the photos," she finally said. "Happier than I've seen you in a while."

Clary couldn't help the smile that automatically came to her face. "I _am_ happier than I have been in a while." She took a deep breath and met Izzy's gaze. "Did Simon tell you what happened?"

"He said you got into a fight but didn't offer any details." She looked conflicted for a moment before sighing and adding, "He was really hurt, Clary. I at least knew there was something happening between you and Jace, but Simon was completely caught off guard. I also think Jace reminds him of Raphael, and he's just worried, you know? He blamed himself for not noticing what was going on, and now you've managed to hide something else from him. How do you think that makes him feel?"

She didn't think of it that way, and part of her felt guilty that she had hurt him so much. That still didn't excuse his actions, though. "He said some really terrible things, Iz."

"Like what?" she pressed.

Clary shook her head. "I don't want to cause any issues between you two."

"Clary, if my future husband is acting like a jackass I deserve to know about it."

"He is acting like a jackass, but I'll only tell you that much. I don't want you to get upset with him and give him even more reason to be pissed at me."

Isabelle rolled her eyes but didn't press the issue more. "Fine. You're still coming over for Christmas, though, right?"

She dropped her gaze, looking down at the table. "I don't think Simon would want me there."

"Bullshit," Izzy responded loudly, drawing the attention of a few other patrons. "His opinion doesn't matter right now. Mom and Dad want you over, and it's their house."

"I don't know, Iz," she sighed. "I don't want things to be awkward. And I think seeing me and Jace together will just upset him even more."

Izzy reached over and grabbed one of Clary's hands. "Clary, please," she begged. "I'll make sure Si doesn't cause any trouble. I know this time of year has to be really rough for you, and I don't want you alone. So, please, please, please, do not back out of this."

Isabelle Lightwood was never one to beg, and Clary knew she couldn't deny her. "Alright. I'll come."

Her best friend flashed her a bright smile. "Excellent," she said, taking a sip of her drink. "Now, tell me all about you and Jace."

* * *

Clary nervously ran her hands over the front of her dress, partially to smooth the silky green material and partially to wipe the sweat from her palms. She was standing outside the Lightwoods' door with Jace to her left and CeeCee in front of them. CeeCee had excitedly pressed the doorbell, and Clary's heartrate had picked up tenfold. She and Simon still hadn't spoken to each other, and she was prepared to see him and his judgmental glares.

Jace reached over, laced his fingers through hers, and brought her hand up to place a soft kiss against her knuckles. "It's going to be fine," he whispered, offering a reassuring smile.

He lowered their hands but didn't let go, which surprised her. She glanced down at CeeCee, who was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet with her eyes trained on the front door. They had yet to tell her about their relationship. In fact, the had yet to even discuss if/when/how they were going to tell her in the first place.

The door opened, and Maryse Lightwood smiled brightly at them. "Welcome," she greeted. "I'm so glad you could make it."

She barely had the words out before CeeCee ran past her, yelling something about finding Uncle Alec. Maryse's gaze fell on Clary's and Jace's joined hands, and she rose an eyebrow at them before gesturing for them to come inside. Jace handed Maryse a bottle of wine as a hostess gift as they walked in. They knew the Lightwoods had already done their gift exchange earlier in the morning. CeeCee had opened her presents at the crack of dawn, and Clary and Jace were waiting until later that night after CeeCee went to bed to do theirs.

They followed Maryse into the living room, which was festively decorated. A large tree sat in one of the corners covered in silver, green, and red ornaments and perfectly stringed lights. Garland hung along the mantle of the fireplace as well as a stocking for each member of the family. Small Christmas knickknacks were placed on the TV stand and coffee tables. Simon and Izzy were sitting on a couch and Robert in a recliner watching _A Christmas Story_ on the television. CeeCee and Alec were nowhere to be seen.

Everyone looked up as they entered, and Simon scoffed at the sight of their still linked hands. Clary watched as Izzy elbowed him in the ribs and shot him a glare. Simon just rolled his eyes and stood up, excusing himself with something about needing a drink. Clary frowned as he walked past her and Jace, his eyes hard and unforgiving. Jace gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Merry Christmas," Izzy smiled as she stood and crossed the room to stand in front of them. She wrapped her arms around Clary in a tight hug, forcing her to drop Jace's hand. "I'm glad you came."

Clary pulled away and gave her a weak smile. "I said I would, didn't I?"

Her best friend shrugged in response. "I honestly was half expecting you to bail."

"I wouldn't have done that to you," she said. "Plus, I don't think Jace would have allowed me to sit at home alone if I tried."

Jace wrapped an arm around her shoulders and placed a kiss against her temple. "You're not wrong. Christmas is meant to be spent with the ones you love, and you're a big part of that now."

"Well isn't that just sweet," Simon said as he came back in, his voice dripping with sarcasm. In his hand was a glass of eggnog, and Clary had a feeling it was heavily spiked.

"I meant what I said, though," she said quietly once he was out of earshot. "If he doesn't knock that off I'm leaving."

Izzy sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "I know. I'll try to control him; I promise. I've already talked to him about it, and I just don't know what else to do. I can't stand my best friend and my fiancé fighting."

"I don't like it either," Clary said, "but the ball's in his court right now."

Izzy gave her a sad smile. "I know. Just try to enjoy yourself tonight, okay? I'll do my best to keep him away from you."

Clary sighed and shook her head. "No. You should be the one having a good time, and I don't want to ruin it. I'll make sure to avoid him. Don't worry about it."

Isabelle gave her hand a squeeze before joining Simon, who was off sulking in a corner. CeeCee then came running back into the living room with Alec trailing behind her. CeeCee ran up to Jace, who bent over to pick her up.

"What are you up to?" he asked, smiling at his daughter.

"Nothing," CeeCee said quickly.

Clary watched as CeeCee looked back at Alec, who offered her a wink in return. Jace noticed it, too, and he raised an eyebrow at Clary. She shrugged at him, having no idea what CeeCee was planning with her father's best friend.

Alec came over to talk with Jace, and Clary decided to wander off into the kitchen where she knew Maryse would be. Maryse was bent over, checking on the ham that was baking in the oven. There were various pots and pans spread out on the stove and loaves of bread cooling on a rack. Clary felt a tightening in her chest at the sight of Maryse moving around the kitchen. Making Christmas dinner had been one of her mother's favorite things, and it was difficult to know she wasn't around to enjoy it anymore. She pushed the feeling aside and fully stepped into the kitchen.

"Do you need any help?" she offered. She had always been Jocelyn's helper on the holiday, and she was searching for some semblance of normality.

Maryse looked over her shoulder at her and smiled. "If you could mash the potatoes, I'd appreciate it," she said, nodding her head toward one of the pots. "The masher is in the left drawer over there."

Clary gathered everything she needed, and they worked in silence for a few minutes before Maryse spoke again.

"How are you holding up, honey?" she asked, her voice soft, as she a timer on the microwave.

Clary stilled her movements and turned to look at her. Maryse had always been like a second mom to her when she was growing up, but they'd never had any sort of heart-to-heart. She had gone to Jocelyn for advice and her problems. But Maryse had been there to make sure the make sure Clary had someone to watch after her or feed her a good homecooked meal when Jocelyn was juggling everything involved in being a single mother. With Jocelyn gone, she wondered if maybe Maryse could fill the new void that was left behind when it came to motherly advice and help.

"I'm," she paused, trying to think of the right word. "I'm managing. It's been rough, but I'm hanging in there and doing my best, you know?" she said, turning back to the task at hand.

"And Jace is treating you right?"

Clary couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "Yeah. He is. He's been great actually. Him and CeeCee have been such a blessing."

"I'm glad he's finally starting to settle down," she said as she dug through the fridge for something.

Clary's brow furrowed. "Settle down?"

"He hasn't been in any sort of real, committed relationship since CeeCee was born. Just a few flings here and there to maintain his image."

Clary thought about his relationship with Aline and shrugged. "Makes sense. He has a daughter to worry about."

Maryse walked up to her and placed a thin hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you can see that." When Clary cocked an eyebrow at her, she continued. "I love you like a daughter, Clary, and I don't want to see you get hurt. I need you to understand that CeeCee will always come first for Jace, no matter where your relationship goes. I need to know that you are prepared to come second in his life because it will be rough at times, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all his heart. His priorities are just different than most men."

Clary smiled at the older woman, feeling tears sting at the corners of her eyes. "I really appreciate you looking out for me, Maryse. But I know what I'm getting myself into. Jace cares a lot of CeeCee, and that's been obvious since the beginning. I know that she's his first priority, and I wouldn't expect anything less."

Maryse gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders in a hug. "I'm glad. It's good to see you happy after everything. Don't be afraid to let me know if you need anything, Clary. We're always here for you, even if it's just to talk."

"Thank you, Mrs. Lightwood. It really means a lot to me."

They went back to working on dinner. Clary finished the potatoes and worked on transferring them and other completed dishes to serving bowls and plates to be set on the table. She then worked on moving the food to the table while Maryse finished up the ham and pies. When she came back in after the third trip, CeeCee and Alec had joined Maryse in the kitchen.

"Hey, what are you two doing?" she asked as she re-entered the kitchen.

Alec shrugged, but one corner of his mouth was lifted. "Just some last-minute decorating," he said.

"Okay," she responded, dragging out the O. She didn't notice anything different or new in the room.

"Miss Clary!" CeeCee explained, running over to and grabbing her hand. The little girl pulled on her hand and brought her to stand right in the entryway of the kitchen. "Stay right here," she ordered, dropping her hand.

"Why?"

"It's a surprise!" she sang before running out of the kitchen.

Clary looked at Alec, but he just continued to smirk at her, giving nothing away. She narrowed her eyes at him, wanting to know what he was in the know on. He shook his head at her, remaining silent.

CeeCee came back a few moments later, towing her father behind her. She moved him around so that he was standing right next to Clary in the doorway. His eyes sparkled as he looked at Clary. "Do you know what she's up to?" he asked, laughter in his voice at his daughter's antics.

"Nope. But somebody does," she said, nodding her head in Alec's direction.

Alec grinned at them, pointing his index finger in an upward motion. Jace got the hint and looked up, laughter immediately erupting from his chest. Clary followed suit and looked up, her eyes landing on a little bunch of green leaves tied to the archway. She moved her gaze from the mistletoe and looked at CeeCee instead.

The little girl smiled back at her. "You know the rules, Miss Clary," she said.

She turned to Jace, giving him a questioning look. He reached out and cupped her face with his right hand. "You know the rules, Miss Clary," he repeated before gently pressing his lips to her.

She reluctantly pulled away from him after only a few seconds, aware of the audience that they had. She heard CeeCee giggle and run out of the kitchen, leaving only the adults behind. Alec was holding back laughter, and Maryse was smiling sweetly at them.

"Was this her idea?" Clary asked Alec.

Alec nodded in return. "She managed to get ahold of someone's phone a few days ago and asked me to help her with a special project to 'get Daddy and Miss Clary to kiss.'"

She wrapped her arms around Jace's middle and looked up at him. "I guess she's caught on to more than we thought."

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his hand lingering. "We should probably tell her about us tonight, then."

* * *

They lay in bed together, sweaty and naked with their legs tangled together. It was late, but CeeCee had kept them up longer than they expected once they told her their news. She had been over the moon with excitement and went on about how her Santa wish had come true. Clary had almost burst into happy tears at that. Her heart was so full knowing that CeeCee loved her enough to want her to be with her father, and possibly be a part of their family one day.

"We still haven't done presents," Jace said, running a hand through her hair.

Clary smirked at him. "Are you telling me what we just did wasn't my present?"

He chuckled, placing a kiss against her forehead. "As amazing as it was, I have something way better for you."

"I have something for you, too," she said while removing herself from him. "I'll be right back."

She got out of the bed, pausing to throw on one of his undershirts, and quietly ran down the stairs and to her room. She pulled out the wrapped canvas she had hidden in the back of her closet. She carefully carried back up the stairs. When she walked back into Jace's room, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, having put his boxers on, with an envelope clutched in his hand.

"You go first," Clary said, handing him the wrapped gift.

He set the envelope down next to him on the bed and took the canvas from her. She chewed on her thumbnail as she watched him slowly run his finger under the taped fold of paper. From the way his eyes glittered, she knew that he was messing with her, taking his sweet time as he opened the gift. His eyes widened once he had the wrapping paper completely off, and Clary stood there wringing her hands in front of her.

"Did you make this?" he finally whispered, looking up at her.

She nodded. "I, uh, had CeeCee take a picture with a mall Santa and used it as a reference."

"This amazing, Clare," he breathed. "Very Norman Rockwell-esque."

A smile easily spread across her lips. She had decided to take a different route when she actually started the painting, choosing to imitate the famous artist's style. She was ecstatic that it had shown and that he recognized it.

"That's what I was going for," she said softly.

"I'm telling you, Clary, you really need to put your work out there. You are extremely talented, and the world needs to see it," he said, his gold eyes boring into hers.

"Maybe one day," she said with shrug. Honestly, she didn't think she was at that point yet. Her work wasn't good enough to go on display, and even if it was, she was missing the connections she should have made while at NYU. "So what you'd get me?"

He picked up the envelope and held it out to her. "Nothing even close to as amazing as this, but I think you'll like it."

She took the envelope and easily tore through its seal. She pulled out a piece of paper, and a gasp fell from her lips as she read the flight reservation with her name on it. "Paris?"

"Yeah." Jace rubbed at the back of his neck. "I have some work to do there during CeeCee's spring break, which she will be spending with Kaelie, so I thought you'd like to come. We can do all the touristy things together, and you can visit the Louvre. I know it's not as handmade or thoughtful as—"

"I love it," she blurted, cutting off his nervous rambling and launching herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and attached her mouth to his. If it wasn't so late and she wasn't so tired, she would have definitely considered a round two for the night as a thank you.

Jace pulled away from her. "I'm so glad to hear that."

She frowned, remembering something. "I don't have a passport, though."

He placed a soft kiss against her nose. "Don't worry. We'll be able to get you one in time."

"Okay," she sighed, placing her head against his chest.

"By the way, I have something to ask," he said, and she nodded, letting him know to continue. "It's kinda last minute, but the Lightwoods are having their annual New Year's Eve party, and I was wondering if you'd go?"

Clary knew the Lightwoods had the party every year, but she had never gone despite Izzy constantly asking her to. She was usually working or spending a quiet night in with her mom. They had preferred being home and watching the live coverage instead of freezing their asses off in Times Square or mingling at parties. Plus, the Lightwood's party was an extravagant affair every year, and she was never one to fit in with the type of people who usually went. This year she knew she was probably going to end up going for CeeCee.

"Yeah, sure," she said. "Someone has to watch CeeCee, right?"

Jace chuckled softly, and she could feel the vibrations against her cheek. "Clary, baby, I meant as my date."

* * *

"Baby, calm down," Jace urged, placing his hand on her bouncing knee to still it.

She smiled sheepishly at him. "Sorry. I'm just nervous."

He moved his hand from her knee in order to hold hers. "Don't be. It'll be fine."

Clary sighed, looking out the limo's window. They were on their way to the Lightwood's party sans CeeCee, who was spending the night with her grandparents. Jace's words did nothing to calm her down. This was going to be there first intentional appearance as a couple, and she was ready to open the limo door and throw herself into the street. It would probably be better than facing a ballroom full of judgmental eyes.

She had no idea how other people were going to handle the news of their relationship. There had been that tabloid when they were ice skating, but she could only guess who had seen that. She knew a lot of the guests would remember her as the nanny who had caused a scene at Jace's gala. Now she was suddenly going to be Jace's girlfriend. Would they all see her as just someone who was out to get his money?

"Stop that," he said in her ear.

She startled, having not noticed that he moved across the seats to be right next to her. "Stop what?" she asked, turning her head to look at him.

"Stop overthinking. I can practically hear the gears grinding inside that beautiful head of yours."

"I told you, I'm just nervous."

He squeezed her hand. "And I told you, you don't need to be. Who gives a shit about what some socialite with a stick stuck up their ass thinks? I'm proud to be able to introduce you as my girlfriend tonight, and I want you to have fun, not worry about what other people might think or say."

"I'm sorry," she said, adjusting her position so she could lean her head against his shoulder. "I don't want to ruin your night."

"With you on my arm, nothing could ruin my night," he said before placing a kiss on top of her head.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, and Clary tried her best to calm her nerves. She shouldn't be caring what everyone else would think. It didn't matter. Jace loved her, and that's what she needed to focus on. But no matter how much she kept repeating all of that to herself, she couldn't shake the heavy feeling in her stomach.

The limo rolled to a stop in front of a hotel, and the driver quickly got out to open Jace's door, since he was on the side facing the building. Jace gave her hand another squeeze before stepping out of the vehicle. Clary took a deep breath and followed him. She was immediately assaulted by the noise of shouting reporters and the flashing of camera bulbs. Jace wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his side, where she instantly hid her face. Luke and Jordan had already arrived and were waiting for them at the begging of the line of paparazzi.

Clary clung to Jace as the two other men flanked them. They hurriedly made their way down the walkway, and all Clary could hear was photographers shouting questions to Jace, asking who his new girl was and what had happened to Aline. Jace ignored them, though, and kept his pace up until they were safely inside the building.

"Are you okay?" he asked once the yelling was muffled behind the doors.

"Yeah," she said. "That was just… a lot."

He chuckled lightly. "Don't worry. Most events are like that. Most New Year's events are a big deal, especially with the guest list the Lightwoods procure. Plus, you're just like a new toy to them right now. Something new will come along and take their attention, and things will die back down." He moved so that he was holding her hand instead of having his arm wrapped around her. "Now, let's go officially introduce everyone to my girl."

Clary clutched onto his hand like a lifeline as they entered the ballroom. Maryse had really gone all out for the event. Gold and black balloons covered the ceiling. Streamers and ribbons were wrapped around columns. The tables were covered in satin black or gold cloths and giant black bows adorned the chairbacks. Bowls of black and gold candy sat on the middle of the tables, and there was an open bar tucked away in a corner. On stage there was a live band playing jazz, and a few couples were dancing already.

Maryse was the first to approach them, and she tightly wrapped her arms around Clary. "I'm so glad you finally made it this year," she said, stepping back and keeping her hands on her shoulders. "You look amazing."

Clary's cheeks heated at her compliment. She wanted to look like she belonged with Jace and had put more effort into her appearance than she ever had. She had splurged on a designer black evening gown with a plunging neckline and slit up the right side. It fit her body perfectly and showed off what little assets she had. She had even gone through the effort of getting her hair and make up professionally done for the event. Her hair fell in large, smooth curls down her back and her make up had been kept natural looking, enhancing the features she already had.

"Thank you, Maryse," she responded. "This place looks lovely tonight."

Maryse gave a tinkling laugh. "Thank you. I like to ring in the new year in fashion. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a few other guests to greet."

She gave Clary's shoulders a squeeze before walking away. Clary let her eyes scan the room, and noticed Kaelie standing with a group of women, shooting daggers in Clary's direction. Clary knew that Kaelie couldn't be happy about her and Jace's relationship, and the heavy feeling in her stomach grew. It didn't help that she also noticed Simon glaring at her from his spot at Izzy's side.

"I could use a drink," she said to Jace.

He nodded and led her to the bar, promptly ordering two glasses of champagne. She fought back the urge to tell him she needed something stronger and accepted the glass with a smile. She sipped from the glass as Jace led her around the room, introducing her to various friends and colleagues. She found herself relaxing more as the night went on—a combination of the champagne and the fact that none of Jace's friends seemed put off by their relationship. In fact, most of them seemed really happy for Jace, telling him it was about time he found someone else. She didn't know if they were referencing Aline or Kaelie, though.

With about fifteen minutes left until midnight, Clary excused herself to the bathroom. She was relieved to find the bathroom empty, and quickly entered a stall to take care of her business. As she washed her hands, the bathroom door opened, and she looked up. Her eyes met the icy blue ones of Kaelie, who did not look happy at all.

"I guess Raphael was right about you after all," she sneered as the door closed behind her.

Clary froze, still staring at Kaelie through the mirror's surface. "I—What do you mean?"

"Said you were nothing but a gold digging whore. That you tried to trap him to get his money. And here you are, shacking up with Jace. Was that the plan all along? Weasel your way into his life with your job and then take all his money?"

Her biting words didn't affect Clary as much as she thought they would. She was too focused on one detail. Swallowing hard, she turned around to face Kaelie. "Y-You and Raphael talk?"

Kaelie smirked at her. "Oh, sweetie. We do much more than just _talk_."

As much as Clary didn't get along with Kaelie, as much as she didn't care for the other women, she knew she had to say something. "Listen, Kalie, I know I'm the last person you want to take advice from, but you need to stay away from Raphael."

Kaelie scoffed. "Why? You planning on trying to get him back once Jace eventually dumps your ass?"

Sighing, Clary pinched the bridge of her nose. She needed to somehow get her point across, but she wasn't willing to share any personal details from her own time with Raphael. "I don't want anything to do with him anymore, and I would never try to 'get him back.' He's—He's not a good person, Kaelie. I don't want to see you get hurt because of him."

"I did not come in here to discuss myself and Raphael," she snapped. "I came here to let you know that I'm on to you. And to warn you about trying to replace in CeeCee's life. I am her mother, and you never will be no matter how hard you try to change that."

Anger took over the feeling of concern she had. She wasn't trying to replace Kaelie in CeeCee's life, and Kaelie had no right to try to accuse her of that. "If you're so concerned about your spot in your daughter's life, then maybe you should start actually acting like a mother," she shot back.

Before Kalie had the chance to retort, Clary pushed past her and exited the bathroom. She was desperate to get back to Jace. If she couldn't convince Kaelie to keep away from Raphael, she was hoping maybe Jace would be able to.

She easily found him laughing with a group of men he had introduced her to before. She politely greeted the group before telling Jace she needed to talk to him. He excused them, and they found a secluded corner to speak in.

He looked at her, his eyes soft and full of concern. "What is it? What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath and met his gaze. "I, uh, ran into Kaelie in the bathroom and—"

His eyes instantly hardened. "What did she do?"

She shook her head at his interruption. "Doesn't matter. What does matter is that she and Raphael are apparently messing around together."

His jaw clenched, and he took a few breaths before speaking again. "You're sure about this?"

"Yes, Jace! She flat out _told_ me."

He cursed under his breath, roughly running a hand through his hair. "Why would she do this? I already told her to stay the fuck away from him."

"So you've already warned her? I just tried to but I didn't—I don't want her to know what happened between me and him, you know? I don't want her to have that ammo against me."

"Hey," he said softly, pulling her into his embrace. "I'll try talking to her again. And don't worry, I won't tell her anything she doesn't need to know."

Clary nodded against his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him. She barely registered Maryse announcing there was only a minute left until midnight. Jace pulled away slightly and smiled down at her.

"Let's not worry about them for right now, okay? I'd rather just focus on us," he said, giving her a brilliant smile.

"Sounds good," she said, smiling back and moving her arms so they were around his neck.

They stared silently into each other's eyes as the final countdown began. Clary saw nothing but pure love and admiration coming from his golden orbs, and she hoped desperately that her own eyes were conveying the same feeling. She didn't know how she got so lucky to have Jace by her side, but she did know that she was extremely grateful for it. She never felt as loved and as cherished as she did when she was with him.

As the clock finally struck midnight, Jace leaned down and placed a searing kiss against her lips. His kiss started out as chaste, but Clary wanted more and ran her tongue against his bottom lip. He parted his lips for her, and they got to work on exploring each other's mouths. The music and cheers in the background all faded away as she focused on nothing but him.

When the need to breathe inevitably hit, they broke apart, and Jace rested his forehead against hers. "Happy New Year, Miss Fray," he whispered, a cocky smirk firmly in place.

Clary's heart was beating erratically in her chest and butterflies seemed to be fluttering around her stomach. She knew that as long as she was with Jace, the new year would be very happy indeed.


	15. Chapter 14

Clary stared at the candle's flickering flame as she shifted uncomfortably in the plush dining chair. She half-listened as Jace spoke with the waiter. They were speaking in French, though, and she had absolutely no idea what was being said. When they had shown up, she had taken one glance at the foreign language in the menu and immediately told Jace to go ahead and order for her.

Her eyes moved to the place setting in front of her, which contained more cutlery than she knew what to do with. She felt extremely out of her element sitting in the darkly lit, intimate restaurant. She had noticed the other diners as they were led to their seats. A few she had recognized from tabloids and society pages, and others just _looked_ rich. She chewed on her lip thinking about the cheap dress she was wearing and the bargain bin heels that were on her feet.

She had never been to a restaurant as upscale as the one they currently sat in, even when she was with Raphael. He had taken her to fancy places, but this one was above and beyond any she had visited. She also had a different outlook on extravagant places and meals than she had before her break up with him. During her earlier glance at the menu, she had noticed the prices and couldn't help but remember those months she had spent struggling just to get buy. The amount some of the entrees cost would have been enough to get her at least two weeks' worth of groceries during that time.

She let her eyes roam around the room, taking in the other couples celebrating the day of love. In the process, she felt even more like she didn't belong there. Her navy dress was from the clearance rack at Macy's and obviously nothing like the designer clothing that the other patrons were wearing. The only jewelry she had one was a diamond-encrusted heart-shaped necklace that Jace had given her in a recognizable light blue box earlier that day. The other women around her had tennis bracelets, diamond studs, and flashy rings accessorizing their outfits.

"Hey," Jace said quietly from across from her. She hadn't noticed that the waiter had left, or that he had left a bottle of wine behind in an ice bucket. "Are you okay?"

Clary forced herself to loosen her shoulders and offered him a weak smile. "This is just… a lot, I guess."

He reached over and grabbed her hand and gently ran his thumb over her knuckles. "I know I haven't been very present these past few weeks, and I wanted to give you a special day today." He gave her a reassuring smile. "This is one of the best restaurants in the city, so try to relax and enjoy it, okay?"

She nodded but didn't meet his eyes completely. Since the holidays had ended, Jace had gone back to work full force. He had made a few more trips to California. He explained he was still looking for a new medical research scientist after having to fire one last year. However, it didn't seem like any of the people he had met with at Stanford were up to his standards. When he wasn't flying across the country to meet with prospective employees, he was spending late nights at the office trying to find other candidates and even helping his current team in whatever ways he could.

Clary couldn't help but feel like things had been off for the past month or so. Any conversation they had seemed to be very superficial and surface-level. Most of said conversations seemed to happen over the phone. When Jace did come home while she was there and awake, he always seemed to bring some sort of trinket or gift for her, as if he was trying to buy her forgiveness. It seemed like he was doing that again with his Valentine's Day plans.

This had led to her thinking a lot about their relationship and exactly how well they knew each other. If they were as in love as they claimed to be, shouldn't he know that she wasn't into any of that by now? Shouldn't he know that she just wanted to spend time with him? That she didn't want any fancy gifts or expensive meals? It all had caused her to wonder if maybe they had moved too fast. Maybe it was all just infatuation and not truly love. Who could blame them for mistaking one for the other, though? After all, they had been living together since meeting. It was hard not to grow close to someone when you shared a home with them. She was wondering if maybe they needed to find a way to get some more physical space from each other and each other's presences in order to sort out their feelings and discover what those feelings truly were.

Jace lightly squeezed her hand, bringing her out of her inner musings. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem a little distracted."

Clary fingered the heart charm on her new necklace, trying to focus on the meaning behind it. He had said he wanted her to know that he always had his heart with her nobody how far apart they were. He wanted her to know that she always carried a piece of him wherever she went.

"I think I'm still getting used to all this," she said, waving her hand around, gesturing over the room. "The fancy dinners, the extravagant parties and galas, the expensive gifts, you know? It's just not really me."

He brought her hand up to his mouth and brushed his lips across the back of it. "You'll get used to it, love. I plan on keeping you around for a while."

She forced another smile, knowing that his words were meant to be reassuring. They were anything but, though. She didn't know if she wanted to get used to it all and what it would mean for them if she didn't.

* * *

They walked down the street, their hand entwined, as snow gently began to fall from the mid-February night sky. They both had consumed their fair share of wine and decided to take a late night stroll instead of heading back home right away. The air was cold and biting against the exposed skin of her face, but there was warm buzz thrumming through her veins—coming both from the multiple glasses of wines she had and the fact she had finally allowed herself to loosen up and focus on enjoying her time with Jace instead of mentally questioning their relationship.

The night was quiet as they trekked down the sidewalk. Most people were huddled up inside celebrating the holiday together. The silence of the night allowed for Clary's growling stomach to be heard, and Jace shot her an incredulous look.

"Are you really still hungry?" he asked.

She shrugged in response. "Those portions were tiny. Not my fault it wasn't very filling."

"Do you want to go back home? I can make you something to eat real quick."

Clary took in their current location and shook her head. "No, I have a better idea."

Jace's brow furrowed, but he followed her wordlessly as she pulled him around a few corners and down a couple of streets. She eventually pulled him into a rundown building, and he looked around at the vinyl booths and tables skeptically before asking where they were.

"Taki's," she answered simply.

A young waitress came up to them, and Clary told her the table was just for two. They were taken to a secluded booth in the corner, Jace sliding in across from Clary. The waitress set two flimsy, plastic menus on the table and asked what they would like to drink. Clary asked for a sweet tea while Jace just went with water. The waitress nodded in affirmation and announced she would be right back to take their food orders. Clary didn't even pick up a menu, already knowing what she was going to get. Jace just stared down at the menu with a slight frown on his face.

"It's not going to grow teeth and bite you, Jace," she teased.

"Have you been here before?" he asked while gingerly picking up the worn menu.

She nodded, leaning her face against one of her hands. "Si, Izzy, and I used to come here weekly. I also used to come here a lot when my mom was sick since it's close to the hospital."

His eyes scanned over the menu. "So what's good?"

She laughed and sat up straight again. "Everything. I've never had something I didn't like here. However, I've gotta say their coconut pancakes are my favorite."

"That sounds good," he responded as he set the menu back down.

The waitress came back with their drinks. She set them down on the table and the pulled out a little white lined notepad to take their orders. Jace went with the pancakes, and Clary asked for a double cheeseburger with extra fries.

Jace quirked an eyebrow at her once the waitress walked away again. "A double _and_ extra fries?" he questioned.

She just smirked at him, taking a sip of her tea. "Again, not my fault."

His frown came back in full force. "Did you not enjoy the other place?"

She swirled her straw around her cup for a few seconds before answering him. "I dunno. It was nice."

He snorted. "That sounded really reassuring."

Leaning her head back against the booth, she let out a sigh. "I just… I felt how you feel slumming it in here with me right now."

A scoff came from his throat. "I feel just fine 'slumming it' with you here."

It was her turn to snort. "Please. Your spine is so stiff I'm surprised it hasn't snapped in half. I _know_ you're uncomfortable in here. You feel out of place."

"In case you haven't noticed, we are out of place," he said, gesturing to their attire.

She lifted one of her shoulders in a half shrug. "We may look it but I feel completely fine. This place is familiar territory to me. That restaurant definitely was not."

The crease between his eyebrows deepened. "But you went to nice places before with… you know," he trailed off, not wanting to bring up the ghost of her past.

"Very few times. And never somewhere _that_ nice. Christ, Jace. How many favors did you have to call in to get us reservations somewhere that's probably booked up over a year in advance for Valentine's?"

He dropped his gaze to the table but didn't deny anything she said. Clary felt a stabbing pain at the look of hurt that had taken over his face, and she reached out to grab his hand.

"Listen, I know you wanted tonight to be special, which is why I didn't say anything earlier," she explained. "But that's just not me, you know? I don't need some fancy meal that I can't even pronounce or order myself. Something like this, casual and low key, is way more speed. And as long as I get to spend time with you, it's special enough. Understand?"

He gave her a slight nod and smile. She noticed the smile didn't quite reach his eyes, though. Guilt started to gnaw its way into her heart at the way she seemed to have ruined the night for him. Thankfully, she was given a few more moments to gather her thoughts as the waitress came back with her food. She asked the couple if they needed anything else, and they both mumbled a quiet no.

Clary gave Jace's hand a light squeeze before retracting her hand to her side of the table. "Just forget I said anything, okay? All you were doing was trying to make sure I had a good night, and I'm kinda acting like an ungrateful bitch."

He shook his head as if coming out of his own thoughts. "No, I'm sorry. If I really wanted the night to be special for you, I would have thought more about what _you_ would have liked. I guess sometimes I get a little wrapped up in what most of the people around me are into, and I forget that you aren't like them. You're so different from them, and that's one of the things I love so much about you."

Clary gave him her first genuine smile of the night along with a little wink. "Let's hurry up and eat so we can get back home and enjoy the rest of our night completely alone."

* * *

They had been unable to keep their hands off of each other for most of the journey home, and now that they were in the semi-privacy of the elevator, all bets were off. Jace had Clary pressed against the elevator wall with her dress hiked up to her waist. Her legs were wrapped around him, his arousal pressing deliciously into hers. She had her hands tangled in his hair as his hands grabbed at her exposed ass cheeks. A throaty moan escaped her as he sucked at the spot right behind her ear and thrust his erection against her.

The doors slid open, signaling their arrival back to the penthouse. Clary kept her legs hooked around him as he attached his mouth to hers and carried out of the metal box and over to the kitchen counter, which was the closest stable surface. He set her down on the cold granite countertop, and she felt a zing of excitement rush through her. They had kept their sexual encounters to his bedroom considering CeeCee was around most of the time. Now that she was spending the night with her Uncle Alec, though, there was nothing holding them back.

As their tongues danced together, Jace's hand trailed up one of her legs, landing between her thighs. His fingers slipped underneath the silky material of her panties, and he began teasing her entrance. His pushed two of his digits into her, his thumb at her clit, and she threw her head back a groan. He didn't miss a beat once their mouths disconnected, placing hot, open mouth kisses down her throat.

"Have I ever told you how much I love the noises you make when I touch you?" he asked in a husky whisper.

Her only response was a whimper as his fingers found the right spot inside of her and his thumb increased the pressure against her little bundle of nerves.

She felt him smirk against her neck. "Thatta girl."

A few minutes later, her teeth were sinking into the flesh of his shoulder as her first orgasm of the night hit her full force. He continued his ministrations as she rode out the waves of pleasure, only stopping once her body relaxed on the counter again. He withdrew his hand from her panties, and she immediately reached between them, her hands making quick work of the button and zipper of his dress pants. Her hand wandered beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs, and she wrapped her fingers around his length, stroking gently.

He captured her lips once more, moaning quietly into her mouth as her hand picked up its pace. His hands moved up her thighs again, only this time they worked on dragging her panties down. Once they were removed, he pulled back from her, panting with his forehead against hers.

"I _need_ to be inside you," he groaned.

She nodded, removing her hand from his underwear and pushing them along with his pants to the floor. He bent down to pull his wallet out of his pocket, but she grabbed his arm with a shake of her head.

"I want to feel you, Jace. _All_ of you," she said with a pointed look. He wanted the night to be special, and she was going to make sure it was.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "You sure?"

She gave him a tiny nod. "I—I trust you, Jace. And I'm, uh, on the shot so we're all covered."

He grabbed her face with one hand while the other dug into the flesh of her hip. "God, I love you," he whispered before pressing a kiss on her lips and sliding into her.

* * *

"I wish you didn't have to go," she muttered into his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around him.

"I know. Me, too," he said, resting his chin on top of her head. "It'll hopefully be the last trip, though. I have very promising interviews lined up this time." He pulled back and grinned at her. "And next time I travel, you will be with me and we'll be on our way to Paris."

She smiled back and bit her lip. Paris was only a few short weeks away, and she honestly couldn't wait. Things had been better between them since Valentine's, but they still hadn't been seeing much of each other. She knew he would still be working in Paris, but she was hoping they would still manage to spend more time together than they had been recently.

"I'll miss you," she said, pressing a soft kiss to his chin.

"I'll miss you, too, but I really gotta get this take care of." He removed his arms from around her and stepped out of her grasp. He bent down and picked his packed bag off the floor. "You'll be okay taking CeeCee to her mother's tomorrow?"

She nodded. It was CeeCee's weekend with Kaelie. Normally she'd be happy because it meant more chance of alone time with Jace. However, with Jace gone to California again, she was about to spend the weekend by herself, and she was not looking forward to that.

"Hey, I'll be back before you know it," he said before giving her a quick kiss. "Love you."

"Love you, too," she replied as he stepped into the waiting elevator.

She wandered back to her room, prepared to sleep for a few more hours before she had to get CeeCee up and ready for school. Sleep didn't come easy to her, though, as memories of her mother flashed through her mind. She hadn't told Jace, but today would be one year since her mother's death. She knew she should have told him, but it never seemed like the right time to bring it up. Then, he had planned another trip out to Stanford. She knew he would have postponed it for her, but she didn't want that to happen. Like he said, he had to get this issue with his understaffed research team taken care of. She wasn't about to get in the way of that.

Sleep eventually made a visit to her, but it only felt like a few minutes before her alarm was ringing shrilly on her nightstand. With a groan, she rolled over and shut it off before getting out of bed. She took her time showering and dressing before waking CeeCee up for the day.

The morning passed in a blur, and the next thing she knew, she was sitting in the passenger seat of the car watching CeeCee walk through the school's doors. Clary could hardly even remember how the morning went. She had just been going through the motions helping CeeCee get ready. She had decided to just shut her brain off in a way, trying desperately to push thoughts of her mother out until she could safely breakdown.

"Are you doing okay?" Jordan asked from next to her. "You seem a little spacey today."

She startled in her seat, having somehow forgotten that she was not alone in the car. "Yeah, yeah," she said as Jordan started to pull out of the parking lot. "Do you think we could make a quick stop on the way home, though?"

He gave her the okay, and she gave him directions. He easily maneuvered around the city, and quirked an eyebrow at her as he pulled the vehicle up in front of a cemetery.

"I have someone I need to visit," she explained. "Um, you can stay in the car if you like."

He shook his head, already unbuckling his own seatbelt. "Nope. I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight when we leave the house. Especially when Jace Is out of town."

She swallowed but nodded. "Okay. But just, give me some space, please?"

"Of course," he said as he got out of the car.

She followed suit and started down the path that ran between the rows of headstones. Jordan listened to her and made sure to hang back a few paces. She blankly made her way to her mother's final resting site, the heavy feeling in her stomach growing. The snow on the grass crunched beneath her boots as she stepped off the path, and she pulled her coat tighter around her body as she stopped in front of her mother's grave, a new chill settling into her bones. She glanced behind her to see that Jordan stayed standing on the path, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"Hi, Mom," she said, voice cracking and tears starting to fall. The numbness she had been feeling all morning had suddenly disappeared. It was replaced with a sorrow almost as painful as the day her mother had breathed her last breath. She fell to her knees, a strangled sob coming from her throat as she buried her face in her hands.

Snow seeped through her jeans as she kneeled their crying, but she ignored. The cold and wet didn't matter to her right now. She was too focused on the searing pain cutting through her chest. A year. It had been a whole year since she'd last seen Jocelyn. A year since she had been on her own, losing the only actual family she had ever known. And with everything going on between her and Simon and then her recent issues with Jace, she wanted nothing more than to be able to crawl into her mother's comforting embrace.

She couldn't do that, though. So instead, she started to talk. She told her mother about everything that had happened since her last visit on Thanksgiving. She told her about the falling out she and Simon had. About her second guessing everything with Jace. About how things were getting better, but she still wasn't sure they weren't rushing things. They hadn't even been together that long before professing their so-called love for each other. She went on and on, wishing more than anything that she could actually be having a conversation with her mom. She knew Jocelyn would have been able to point her in the right direction with her advice.

She wasn't sure how long she had spent just kneeling there and talking and crying, but the silence of the cemetery was interrupted by the ringing of her phone. It was Jace's ringtone, and she had a sense of déjà vu, comparing this to the last time she had come to visit her mother.

She quickly wiped her eyes and cleared her throat before pressing the accept button. "Hey, babe," she answered, cringing at how thick her voice still sounded.

"You didn't tell me," he said without missing a beat, his tone accusatory.

"Tell you what?" she asked even though she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Don't bullshit with me right now, Clare. I got off the plane to a text from Isabelle saying to make sure I'm with you today, and when I ask what she means by that, I don't get a response. Then, I get a call from Jordan informing me that you're at a cemetery and you're crying your eyes out over your mother's grave. It didn't take much for me to connect the dots."

Clary shot a glare at Jordan, who at least had the decency to look a little sheepish. She stood up, clutching her phone tightly in frozen fingers. "Jordan follows me to make sure I'm safe," she seethed, "not to spy on me and report back to you about every little thing I do."

"Jesus fuck, Clary," his raised voice came through the speaker. "I think I have a right to know when my girlfriend is having a breaking down while I'm on the other fucking side of the country because she didn't bother to inform it's the anniversary of her mother's death."

"I didn't want to worry you," she said, her voice small. "You have more important things to worry about with your work situation."

"I should be there with you, Clare. I _would_ be there with you."

"I know," she whispered.

"I'm going to get the next flight back."

"No!" she half-shouted into the phone. "I'm fine, Jace. Really. I've gotten most of it out of my system. I'm just gonna have Jordan take me home, and I'll veg out or something until we have to get CeeCee. Please, don't cancel your interviews or anything to come back here."

"I don't like this."

She sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. I should have told you. I just—I'm tired of you always having to take these trips. And if this could really be the last one, I didn't want to jeopardize that by making you stay here. I promise I'm as okay as I can be."

He didn't say anything for a few moments, but eventually spoke again, sounding resigned. "Alright. Just call me if you need anything?"

"Always."

"I love you, Clary. More than I think you know."

"I love you, too, Jace. I'll talk to you later."

She hung up the phone, her heart feeling heavy.

* * *

The ringing of the house phone pulled Clary from a deep, dreamless sleep. Her brow furrowed as she became slightly more consciousness. It was five in the morning, and she had no idea who would be calling that number at this time. She threw herself out of bed, tripping slightly over the stilettos that were on the ground from when she had kicked them off upon returning from Pandemonium only a few short hours before.

She made it to the phone and answered with a yawn escaping her lips.

"Miss Clary?" CeeCee's trembling voice came through the line.

Any sleepiness that remained in her system immediately left at the sound of the little girl's voice. "CeeCee, honey? What's wrong?"

"I got sick and threw up," she cried.

She felt relief at this statement, having thought that something horrible had happened. "Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. That sounds terrible, but you should go tell your mom instead of me."

"She's not here."

And just like that, all the relief was gone and her blood ran cold. "What do you mean?"

"I can't find her," the girl cried into the phone. "I woke up because my tummy hurt and I got sick and she's not here and Daddy said to call home if something ever happened."

"Hey, sweetheart," Clary said as soothingly as possible, "I need you to calm down." She moved through the apartment back to her room, where she hastily threw on the first pair of non-heeled shoes she could find. "I'm going to come get you, okay? Just sit tight."

"O-okay. But hurry please, Miss Clary."

"I will, sweetie. I'll see you soon."

Clary hung up the phone and picked up the spare set of keys to the Lincoln from the bowl next to the elevator. Her hands were shaking slightly as she called the elevator and pressed the button for the parking garage. She was out and running across the parking garage before the doors even fully opened. She slid into the driver's seat of the car, barely remembering to buckle her seatbelt before pealing out of the garage.

Her foot continued to press on the gas as the speedometer crept well past the posted speed limit. She wanted to get to CeeCee as soon as possible and just prayed that there weren't any cops lurking around the roads she was taking. She expertly maneuvered around the drivers on the road, her hands gripping the wheel so tight that her knuckles were turning white.

She stopped outside Kaelie's house with screech brakes. She rolled down the window and punched in the security code even though she was more than half tempted to just drive through the gates. Once she reached the front steps, she threw the car into park and jumped out with the engine still running. She sprinted up the stairs and was equal parts relieved and angered to find the front door unlocked.

"CeeCee?" she called out as soon as she had the door open. "Honey, where are you?"

"Miss Clary!" a voice called out.

Clary didn't even bother taking in the interior of Kaelie's home as she went in search of the little girl. She guessed it was just as extravagant and flashy as the outside, though. She looked through a few doors before finally finding CeeCee laying down on a bed in one of the rooms clutching her stomach with tears streaming down her face. The bed was covered with soft pink bedding and had a cream colored canopy over it. Clary figured this was CeeCee's room and had been decorated by her mother.

"Oh, CeeCee," she breathed, rushing over. She placed a hand against her forehead, which felt slightly hot. "Is it actually painful or do you just feel sick?" she asked, wondering if she was about to have to take her to the ER or something.

"Just sick," she sniffled.

Clary ran her hand through the girl's soft curls. "Okay, honey. Let's get you home, okay?"

She scanned the room, seeing a waste bin in the corner. It would work for something to CeeCee to hold on to in case she got sick in the car. She easily lifted CeeCee out of the bed, holding her close, before walking over and picking up the trash can. She sped walked out of the house and carefully placed CeeCee in the car seat in the back of the still-running car. She handed her the trash can.

"If you have to throw up again, do it in here, okay?"

CeeCee nodded, running the back of her hand under her runny nose. Clary tried to give her an encouraging smile before closing the door and rushing to the other side of the car. She got in, adjusting the rearview mirror so she could see CeeCee in the back. On the drive back home, she made sure to abide by all driving laws. She didn't want to risk an accident or getting pulled over with the child in the car.

By the time they got home, CeeCee had gotten sick twice in the car. Clary figured that was from a combination of whatever stomach issue she had and motion sickness. She was still a little worried, but figured she would monitor her for a few more hours before deciding to take her to a doctor of any kind. It was probably just the stomach flu, and she had been raised to go to the hospital over every little thing.

She carried CeeCee into the penthouse, pressing a comforting kiss to the crown of her head and telling her everything was gonna be fine. Once safely inside, she gave CeeCee a quick bath to clean her up and helped her dress in a fresh pair of comfy pajamas. She had found some Emetrol in the medicine cabinet and gave her a dose.

She was now sitting on the edge of CeeCee's bed, running her hands gently through her now dry curls. She had already read a few books to the little girl and helped to the bathroom to throw up once, making sure she brushed her teeth well after. Humming softly, she was trying to get CeeCee to fall asleep. She hoped that sleep would help her get better sooner.

When CeeCee's eyes closed and her breathing evened out, Clary quietly got off the bed. She walked over to the book shelf where she had seen an old set of baby monitors earlier. Checking the batteries, she saw they were still in working condition, and she turned them on. She placed one on CeeCee's nightstand and took the other one with her, silently closing CeeCee's door.

She walked into her bathroom, setting the monitor down on the counter. After turning the water to the highest comfortable heat, she peeled off the work uniform that she hadn't changed out of earlier. She took the fastest shower of her life, anxious that CeeCee would end up needing her.

After quickly drying off, she dressed in a pair of soft jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt. She made her way back to CeeCee's room, wanting to double check that everything was still okay. The little girl was still in her bed, fast asleep, her chest rising and falling steadily. Clary checked forehead again. It was still a little warm, but it wasn't that bad or something she felt she needed to worry about.

She thought about all the times she was sick as a child and how her mother helped her or made her feel better. She remembered Jocelyn would always sleep next to her. She wasn't sure if that had been more for her own benefit or for Clary's, but Clary had always like knowing her mother was right there. She crawled into the bed next to CeeCee, just watching her face as she slept. Her own eyes grew heavy, and she eventually closed them, falling asleep the child's even breaths.

When she woke again later, it was a little after noon. CeeCee was poking a small finger into her side and calling her name.

"Miss Clary," she said once Clary had opened her eyes, "I'm hungry."

Clary frowned slightly. "You sure? Is your stomach still upset?"

"Upset and hungry," she said with a pout.

"Okay," Clary replied, stifling a yawn. "I'll go make you something that will be easy on your stomach. Try to get a little more sleep, okay?"

CeeCee mumbled an agreement before rolling over and closing her eyes again. Clary forced herself out of the bed and to the kitchen. She made sure to grab the baby monitor on the way just in case. She rummaged through the cabinets, looking for something that wouldn't make CeeCee even sicker. Remembering the BRAT diet, she pulled out a bag of rice from the pantry.

As she was boiling the water, the sound of the elevator arriving drew her attention. She froze, knowing nobody else should be coming around today. Silently opening a drawer, she pulled out a large kitchen knife and gripped it in her hand. Her footsteps were careful and quiet as she moved toward the entryway.

Turning the corner, her shoulders sagged with relief when she saw Jace standing there, taking off his coat and placing it on a hook. She placed the knife behind her on the counter, the metal clinking against the granite. He looked up, having heard her, and she automatically took a step back at the fire the burned in his eyes.

"What are you doing home?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from wavering.

"Is CeeCee here?" he asked in response, his voice hard.

"Yes, she—"

"So Kaelie wasn't lying then," he said with a humorless laugh as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I—What do you mean?"

He looked at her, his eyes steely. "I got a frantic call from her saying that my insane nanny came and just took our daughter."

"CeeCee called here saying she was sick and—"

"So what, Clary? If she's sick her mother can take care of her. That's not your place."

"But she—"

"No but's! I had to cancel one of my interviews to hop on a plane and fly back here because you crossed a line this morning."  
Now it was Clary's turn to get mad. She was tired of him cutting her off, not letting her explain herself and what happened. Plus, she was quickly figuring out exactly what his actions that day meant. "You didn't _have_ to fly back," she retorted. "You could have _called_ me and asked. But I know why you didn't."

Jace remained silent, and she saw his jaw clench slightly.

"You don't trust me, Jace. That's what this all boils down to. If you trusted me at all, Jace Herondale, you would have called me before getting the first flight back here when Kaelie calls whining about something."

"She wasn't whining. She was frantic, Clary! Our child was _missing_."

"Kaelie had no right!" she half-yelled, pointing a finger at him. He opened his mouth to speak again, but she shook her head at him. "You know why? Because she wasn't _there_. CeeCee called me because she was in that house completely alone! And I show up to get her because she's throwing up and doesn't have her mother there to help here, and the goddamn front door is _unlocked._ "

She saw surprise flash across his face, but he quickly schooled his features again. "Then _you_ should have called _me_."

Clary glared at him. Why wasn't he admitting he was in the wrong right now. "Maybe. But I was a little preoccupied with making sure your daughter was okay and safe and helping her get better."

"When something happens with her, it's your _job_ to call me!"

Clary through her hands up into the air. "I wasn't doing this as your goddamn nanny. I was doing this as your _girlfriend_ , who happens to care a whole awful lot about your daughter!"

"Exactly! _My_ daughter." He pointed a finger at his own chest. "That means I have a right to know _immediately_ when something is happening with her. She's _mine_. Not yours. Just because you wanted a kid and lost yours doesn't mean you can just act like CeeCee belongs to you!"

Her hands dropped to her sides, and she shook her head. "Fuck you, Jace," she said, angry tears burning at the back of her eyes.

She walked over to the elevator and began pulling on a pair of sneakers she had discarded there a few days ago. Jace didn't speak again until she took her coat off one of the hooks and began to put it on.

"Where are you going?"

She shot a glare at him. "Out."

He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. "Clary, I—"

He was cut off as CeeCee's voice came through the baby monitor in the kitchen. "Daddy?" she called out.

"You should probably go and check on _your_ daughter," she said before turning to leave.

* * *

Clary showed up to work early that night. She hadn't been back home since walking out on Jace that afternoon, having no desire to be anywhere near him. There fight had been bad, and she probably could have gotten over it. But that final comment about the child she lost pushed her over the edge. She had told him about that in a moment of vulnerability, and she had trusted him with the information. He threw it in her fact to hurt her, though, and she wasn't sure how long it was going to take for her to forgive that.

Bat always had extra uniforms stocked, so she asked him for one before hunting down someone who might have some make up she could borrow. She hadn't realized how bad she looked until Bat asked her what had her looking like shit. She had shrugged him off, saying it was just a bad day. After leaving Jace's, she had wandered around the city until it was reasonable for her to go to work. In her haste to leave, she hadn't grabbed a wallet or phone, and she was lucky that her subway card happened to be in her coat pocket. During her meandering, though, she had ducked into a few bathrooms to cry her eyes out when overthinking her argument with Jace.

She couldn't believe him—both the flying back without talking to _her_ first and the comment he had made. She knew she had made mistakes and wasn't necessarily the most forthcoming person, but she never, ever fucked up when it came to CeeCee. Jace should have recognized that. And the fact that he immediately went with whatever Kaelie said was unfathomable to her. He'd rather take a five plus hour flight than take five minutes to call and check in. She knew she said she trusted him, but could she really when the feeling wasn't mutual?

It was obvious he didn't trust her back. Even before that day's stunt. She understood Jordan being around to keep an eye out for her safety, but having him report back to Jace about everything was ridiculous. She hadn't told Jace about her mother's death anniversary two days earlier for a reason, and that reason had nothing to do with trust. Even if she actually had a secret, it would be nearly impossible to keep with Jordan always playing spy with her. Then there was that whole thing that happened with Bat. Yes, Raphael had hurt her, but she was going to tell him about when he got home from his trip. She didn't not tell him things because of trust. She didn't tell him because she didn't want him to worry about her.

She shook herself out of her thoughts once more and went on a hunt for beauty supplies. One of the other servers luckily had a makeup bag in her locker, and Helen had a brush and some product she could borrow. Once she had herself looking somewhat decent, it was close enough to her shift start time for her to clock in.

She was thankful for the busy night they had. She was too busy running between tables and remembering drink orders to dwell on Jace and their current situation. When she was able to put her tray away for the night, though, she was also thankful that she would soon be in a cozy warm bed. The day had been exhausting both emotionally and physically, and all she wanted to do was crawl between the covers and pass out. She was hoping Jace would already be in bed by time she got home and that she wouldn't have to deal with him until the morning.

As she was walking down the back hallway to the Employees Only section, someone grabbed her by the arm and shoved her up against the wall. An arm was placed on either side of her head, and a familiar scent filled her nose. A scent that sent her heart into overdrive, and not in a good way.

"I've been trying to get you alone for a while, princesa," Raphael murmured into her ear.

She forced down the bile that was rising in her throat. "What do you want?" she asked, her voice only wavering slightly.

"Just want to talk," he said, moving one of his hands down to rub up and down her arm. "Ask some questions." He stopped the movement, his grip tightening painfully. "Figure out what the fuck you said to Herondale."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, trying to pull her arm free. He wouldn't budge, though.

He brought his face right in front of hers, so close that their noses were almost touching. "Herondale didn't just blackball me for no reason, Clarissa. What the fuck did you tell him?"

"Let go of me, Raphael," she demanded, her voice coming out stronger than she felt. She was angry, though, and that was making her stand up to Raphael for the first time in her life. She was tired of everyone trying to push her around and walk all over her. She was tired of being controlled. She was tired of Raphael having such power over her despite their relationship having ended almost a year ago.

"Not until you start talking, dulce," he hissed, his hand twisting her arm a little.

"I said let go, you asshole."

Raphael actually looked shocked for once, not used to her talking about to him at all. While he was stunned for just that one second, she managed to move herself away from him a little. It was only a small distance, and he still had a hand on her arm, but she was able to draw her free hand back enough to put some power behind her punch. Her fist connected with his face with a crack, and he immediately let go of her, both of his hands flying to clutch his nose as he stumbled back. Clary clutched her own hand to her chest, her fingers throbbing.

"You fucking bitch!" Raphael spat out, blood seeping through the cracks of his fingers.

He took a step toward her, but there was suddenly another body between them.

"You're out of here, Santiago," Simon growled. "For good. This was your last strike."

"The bitch hit me and you're kicking me out?"

"We saw what led up to that," Bat said. Clary hadn't even noticed him standing off to the side. "You put your hands on her, and I warned you last time. You're gone. I don't give a shit about keeping your business anymore."

Raphael shot daggers at Clary. "You're going to pay for this, cunt."

"Don't make me drag your ass out of here," Bat threatened.

With one last glare, Raphael turned and started to walk away. Clary watched as Bat followed him, expecting Simon to tag along. He remained in front of Clary, though, his arms crossed over his chest. She was surprised to not see the anger that she was used to seeing etched on his face whenever they happened to see each other. Instead, his features were neutral.

"How did you get here today?" he asked, voice even and not giving away how he was feeling.

"I—I rode the subway," she stammered out, confused by this seemingly normal conversation.

"You should call your boyfriend. Have him come pick you up. You never know where Raphael might be lurking around."

Clary glanced down at her shoes. "I left my phone at home." She paused. "And, uh, we had a really bad fight today. I don't think he'll want to be bothered with me right now."

"Don't be stupid, Clare. He cares a lot about you. Even _I_ can see that. He'll want to know and make sure you're okay."

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and asked for Jace's number. Clary recited it to him, her brow furrowing deeper as Simon pressed the phone to his own ear. His eyes scanned over Clary as the line rang, probably looking for whatever damage Raphael might have done.

"Hey, man. It's Simon," he said into the receiver. "You might want to come get your girl." He gave Clary a wry smile. "There was an incident involving Raphael. She's all good, I think, but I don't think either of us want her riding the subway alone right now." At this he gave Clary a pointed look. "Alright, we'll see you soon."

He ended the call and slid the phone back into his pocket.

"See? Told you he'd want to know."

Clary just nodded numbly.

"We should go get your things and wait outside."

She nodded again, following him to the locker room. "Why are you being so nice to me right now? You didn't have to do that. I would have been fine."

He sighed, his shoulders tensing before turning to look at her. "I've been a dick lately, and I'm sorry for that. I just—I was so afraid of Herondale ending up like Santiago, and I didn't want to watch that happen to you again. And I was hurt that you didn't tell me about it sooner, but I guess my reaction probably gave you good reason. But I miss my best friend, and I'm tired of avoiding you and making an ass of myself."

"So you just woke up one morning and decided all this?"

He shook his head. "No. You guys lasted way longer than I thought you would, and I've seen some of the tabloids that have come out. The way Jace looks at you, you just know he's not like Raphael. But if he does end up hurting you, I won't be afraid to throw an 'I told you so' out there."

"Well, I appreciate it. I miss my best friend, too."

She started to gather her things, struggling into her coat while trying not to jostle her hand too much. It was still throbbing and she was hoping she hadn't broken it. It wouldn't be the first broken bone she'd gotten from Raphael, but it definitely would be the first she caused herself.

"How's your hand?" he asked as they started to walk toward the back exit.

She shrugged, cradling it to her chest again. "Hurts but I'm hoping fine."

He smirked at her. "Well, I'm sure your doctor boyfriend will be more than willing to look at it."

She forced a laugh. "Yeah. Probably."

The truth was, she was preparing for another big fight. She had a feeling Jace was about to go off on her for multiple things. Leaving her without saying where she was going, not taking her phone, letting herself get into something with Raphael. The list went on.

"Well that fucker had it coming is all I'm saying," Simon said, shoving his hands into his pants pockets as they waited for Jace. "I'm proud of you, though. You were handling yourself pretty well. I only stepped in because I think punching him might have pissed him off enough for him to really go off, ya know?"

"Yeah," she said. "It felt pretty good, too. Well, minus the hand pain."

A familiar pulled up in front of them, and Jace was out of the driver's seat as soon as it was fully stopped. His hair was a mess and he was still in the same clothes from earlier. His frantic eyes looked over Clary's body.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he asked seemingly all in one breath.

"Raphael decided to corner, but your girl managed herself. She's got a pretty wicked left hook; I'd watch out if I were you," Simon said, trying to ease some of the tension.

Jace's eyes fell on Clary's hand, and he reached out to gingerly take it. She hissed at the contact, but he continued to twist and turn it. "I don't think it's broken, which is good. Most likely just severely bruised."

"Just like Raphael's ego after tonight," Simon said.

Clary snorted, a small smile playing at her lips.

"Thanks for calling me," Jace said to him. "Since someone thought it'd be smart to walk out without her phone."

"Hey," Simon snapped, all joking gone. "Don't talk to or about her like that. Don't make me regret giving you my blessing."

Clary gave Simon a half-smile. "Don't worry about it right now, Si. We're in a fight, remember? But thanks for helping out tonight. I appreciate it."

"Anytime, Clare. I've got to get back in there, but call me and maybe we can meet up and catch up on things?"

Clary nodded, her smile growing. "Definitely."

Simon disappeared back inside, and Jace gestured to the car. Clary reluctantly got into the passenger seat. She did not want to be in a car with him right now, unable to escape whatever discussion turned argument was about to take place.

Jace drove for a few minutes without saying anything. "I'm so glad you're safe," he began. "I was so worried when Simon called. But, I just don't understand how you could be so stupid. You really left for _hours_ without saying anything about where you were going and without a way of contacting you? Do you have any idea how worried I was between CeeCee and you? You should have at least let Jordan go with your or something."

"I think I should move out," Clary suddenly blurted, surprising even herself.

Jace slammed on the brakes, pulling the car off on to the shoulder of the road. He killed the engine and turned to look at her, eyes wide. "You're quitting? I know what I said earlier was way out of line and—"

Clary held up a hand to stop him. "I'm not quitting. I just need somewhere that's _mine_ when I'm not working. I realized that we need some sort of boundary. A line between Nanny Clary and Girlfriend Clary."

"But why? Our situation is working just fine the way it is."

She rolled her eyes. "No, it's not. You are constantly treating me like your employee, and the situation with CeeCee is a perfect example of that." He opened his mouth to retort, but she kept going. "And then just now. I get that you care and you worry, but when I'm not on the clock and don't have her with me, you do not need to know my every single goddamn move, Jace. I survived New York without a cellphone and without my mom always knowing where was as a kid, I think I can survive it just fine now."

He stared at her silently for a few beats, his eyes searching hers. "You really want to move out?"

She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. "Just part time, though. Like weekends."

"And it will make you feel better? It will help whatever is going on between us?"

"I think so," she said. "I think we might have moved too fast, which can't really be helped when you already live together before you start dating. I think this little bit of space will help us slow things down and get back on track."

He let out a deep sigh. "Okay."

She raised an eyebrow at him, not expecting him to give in so quickly. "Okay?"

He nodded. "Okay." He gave her a cheeky smile. "Plus, you having your own place means I can properly do dates now. Picking you up at your apartment and everything."

"Now you're getting it," she responded with a smile of her own.

* * *

 **Kinda a lot for one chapter but here ya go.**


	16. Chapter 15

Clary pulled her final suitcase out of her room and into the hall. After a few weeks of apartment hunting, she had finally just settled for her old apartment, which had somehow remained available. It wasn't necessarily her first choice, but everything had seemed way too expensive for a place she would only be spending a few days a week in. Jace hadn't been happy about it, saying he could help pay for a nicer and safer aoartment, but she had argued with him saying that she needed to do it on her own. It was her idea, and she was going to see it through.

She wheeled the suitcase down the hall and stopped short when she saw Jace and CeeCee sitting in the living room watching something on the television. They weren't supposed to be there. Jace was supposed to be with CeeCee at the park. She had been trying to leave for her first weekend away before they got back.

Things had been more than a little tense between Jace and Clary since their fight. While she had forgiven him for his rash decision making, she had not come anywhere close to forgiving him for what he said. The fact had become glaringly obvious to him, and he continuously tried to apologize. He had gone on and on about how CeeCee was the most important thing in the world to him, and he didn't exactly think clearly when it came to her. He had been angry at Kaelie for what happened and angry with himself for not being around when it did happen, and he had taken that out on Clary. He swore he didn't mean what he said and that he wished he could take it back, but Clary told him that didn't matter. He had used one of her most personal and harrowing experiences, which she hadn't told anybody about except him, and he used it against her.

Jace noticed her standing there and stood to greet her. "Hey, baby," he said.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to keep any accusation out of her voice.

He smiled at her, holding his hands behind his back. "I wanted to give you something before you left for the weekend," he said. "Part housewarming gift, part apology for everything."

He brought his hands out, holding a nondescript red box with a white bow around it. He moved towards her, handing her the gift. She hesitantly took it from him, afraid of what would be inside. Was she going to have to spell out the fact she didn't want him trying to buy her forgiveness again and again?

Removing the ribbon and lid, she saw a Subaru key nestled in a bed of silver wrapping paper. She looked up at him, eyes wide. He just beamed back at her, thinking the surprise on her face was joyous. Forcing a smile, she turned to the little girl on the couch.

"CeeCee, sweetheart, why don't you go and play in your room for a little bit?" she suggested, wanting her out of the room before she lost it on her father.

Thankfully, the young girl obliged, happily nodding her head before jumping off the couch and skipping to her room. Clary waited until she heard the door click shut and a couple of seconds passed. Then, she thrust the box back at Jace, whose smile had completely disappeared.

"I don't want it," she said.

He frowned, brow furrowing. "What?"

"I don't want it. Take it back, sell it, demolish, I don't care. I just don't want it."

He looked down at the box in his hands. "I don't understand."

She sighed, running a hand through her curls. "I don't want you trying to buy my forgiveness. Stop giving me things as a way of apologizing. I don't want it."

He looked back up at her, the frown still etched on his face. "What do you want, then?"

She reached out, gently placing a hand against his chest, right over his heart. "I want you to do _better_ _ **,**_ " she said. "Buying me things and saying sorry doesn't mean anything if you continue to do the same shit over and over again." She took a shaky breath, not liking what she was about to say next, but she needed to get her point across. "You—You're doing what Raphael used to do in the beginning. Every time he, you know, he would buy me flowers or take me out to dinner or give me some little gift in apology. But he _never_ changed, Jace."

He removed her hand from his chest and took a step back. "I am _not_ like him," he almost growled out.

She closed her eyes for a moment, choosing her next words carefully. "I know you aren't. But words and actions hurt, too. I can't keep playing this game with you where you say whatever you want to me and then think you can buy your way to me forgiving you only just to repeat the cycle all over again."

"I had no idea you felt that way," he said quietly.

She shrugged, toeing at the ground. "I've never been the best at communicating. It's something we both need to work on."

He nodded, staring off into space for a moment.

"How about a compromise?" he finally said. "This key is no longer me trying to apologize. It's me showing that I trust you."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "How?"

He took the box and placed it back in her hand. "The car is yours, no strings attached. Drive it whenever you're on your weekends at your own place. Go wherever you want whenever you want." He took a deep breath. "Jordan doesn't have to be with you or even around you. You can go off your own."

"Are you serious?"

He nodded. "Nothing weird has happened for a while, and I trust you to let me know if something does happen. Any sort of interaction or run in with Raphael included." He gave her a pointed look.

"And you're not going to have someone secretly follow me around?" she probed.

He laughed but shook his head. "Nope. Although, that does sound like something I'd do, I guess."

She chewed the inside of her cheek, the word compromise ringing in her head. "Alright," she said, clutching the key in her hand.

"Really? Just like that? Because I have even more prepared in case you wanted to argue more."

She shrugged, giving him a small smile. "Trust is a two-way street. If you're going to trust me with this, then I'm gonna trust you to keep your word."

He reached out and pulled her against his body, gently tucking her head under his chin. "Thank you," he said, pressing a kiss on the crown of her head.

She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing lightly and taking comfort in the feel and smell of him. They stood like that in silence for a few moments before she pulled away. She took a few steps back from him and grabbed her abandoned suitcase.  
"I should get going," she said.

"You don't have to, you know. We can slow down in other ways."

One corner of her mouth lifted up. "We're supposed to be slowing down, and you just bought me a car, Jace. I think the small distance will help, and it's not going to kill you. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that."

He gave out a dramatic sigh and shot his eyes toward the ceiling. "I guess," he groaned, dragging out the word. She could tell he was trying to hold back a smile at his own behavior. "At least I have Paris to look forward to. Only a little over a week."

Clary anxiously glanced down the hall, making sure CeeCee's door was still closed. "Are we taking CeeCee with us now?" she asked, keeping her voice down.

After the incident, Jace had taken away Kaelie's weekends with their daughter. He had been livid about her leaving their daughter all alone at night. Kaelie hadn't been happy with his decision, but Jace had threatened to get the courts involved, and she was at least smart enough to know she would have lost after what happened.

He also quickly looked down the hallway before responding. "She'll be spending the week with Kaelie's parents. Kaelie's welcome to join, but I made it clear that under no circumstances is she allowed to be around without her parents present. I just—I can't trust her after what happened. I feel like I'm being harsh, CeeCee _is_ her daughter afterall, but if anything had happened to my little girl in that time she was alone, I have no idea what I would have done."

She pressed a finger against his cheek and gently moved his head so he was looking at her. "Hey, you have no reason to feel guilty or like you're being harsh. What Kaelie did was terrible and unforgivable. Making sure someone responsible is with her is a good plan until she shows that you can trust her with CeeCee again."

He leaned down, pressing a quick kiss against her lips. "What did I do to deserve you," he murmured.

She shrugged, a smile playing at her lips. "I don't know, but it must have been something pretty great."

* * *

That night, she left work and went home to an empty, quiet apartment for the first time in months. Was it really home, though? The apartment had once been her home, when she was on her own just trying to survive and make it through life. The four walls around her held memories, but they no longer held any meaning. They provided shelter and a place to sleep, but they were nowhere near home.

She pushed the thoughts out of her mind as she made her way to the bedroom, where she stripped out of her uniform and replaced it with a comfy set of pajamas. It had been her idea to spend a few nights a week apart, and she was going to stick with it. They hadn't even known each other a year, and she was already reluctant to spend a night away from Jace. That in itself was telling her that they had gotten too attached too fast. Her life wasn't some Harlequin romance novel, and she had to be realistic about her relationship with Jace.

Yet, as she laid down in bed for the night, she found herself unable to fall asleep. She had spent so much time reassuring Jace that the time apart would be good for them that she hadn't even considered the fact that it might bother her. She tossed and turned under her blanket, her apartment too empty for comfort.

An hour later, she rolled over, grabbing her phone off the nightstand. She typed out three simple words to Jace and hit send. _I miss you._ Being the middle of the night, she wasn't expecting him to be awake or respond. It took her by surprise when, not even thirty seconds later, her phone began ringing, Jace's face lighting up the screen.

She immediately answered the call, bringing the phone to her ear.

"You could always use that car to come back. Or I could come there," Jace said the moment she accepted the call.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" she asked, ignoring his suggestions.

"Shouldn't you?" he countered without missing a beat.

She shrugged before realizing he couldn't see her. "I can't sleep," she said.

"Me either," he replied, his voice soft and quiet. "Just come back here."

"The fact that we can't spend a night apart is ridiculous," she stated. "And I don't get it. We never had a problem when you went on a trip. Why now?"

"I don't know sweetheart. I mean, you usually had CeeCee those times. And right now I know that you're only a fifteen minute drive away and that you _could_ be here next to me."

"We're like lovesick teenagers or something," she said, forcing a laugh.

"Were you ever a lovesick teenager?"

She scoffed. "God, no."

He chuckled down the line. "What were you like as a teenager?"

"Are we seriously having this conversation right now? A little late for the get-to-know-you phase, don't you think?"

He must have moved around because she could hear sheets rustling in the background. "I could spend the rest of my life getting to know you, Clare. I want to know every single detail of your life before we met."

Her heart swelled at his words, and she told him stories about her life during high school. She told him all about how she was always kind of a loner and spent most of her free time by herself drawing and painting. She told him about how she never went through a rebellious phase because Jocelyn never really gave her a reason to want to rebel. She even told her about the one or two romantic interactions she had, which were huge disappointments. She had never been a romantic at heart, but she still had expected more.

When she was done, he started in on his own life. His stories were very different from hers, not that she was surprised. He had been very popular and well-liked—always surrounded by other people. He did all the typical high school things: going to football games, attending all the dances, being involved in student government, etc.

She wasn't sure which one of them fell asleep first, but the next morning she woke up with her phone on the pillow next to her and the line still connected.

She spent the rest of that weekend and half of the next at her apartment. She and Jace had talked on the phone every night she was away until they fell asleep. Jace used this to argue that she might as well just stay at the penthouse anyway, then. She had argued back saying they never talked that much when she was there, always seeming to get distracted by the physical side of things. They were learning a lot about each other during their late-night talks, and she thought that was important and an improvement.

* * *

It was a Saturday night, but this time she found herself spending it at the penthouse. She and Jace were leaving for Paris the next morning, and CeeCee wanted to spend more time with her before she went off to her grandparents'. While Clary could easily say no to Jace, his daughter was a whole other story. She tended to cave at the first sign of the little girl's perfected puppy dog pout.

Clary sat on the couch with the little girl cuddled against her and _Frozen_ playing on the television screen. CeeCee happily sang along with the movie even though Clary was at the point of wanting to gauge her own eardrums out. Jace was off in his office finishing some last-minute business things before their departure. He had to make sure everything was ready for the meetings he had waiting for him in Paris.

As the credits began to roll, CeeCee turned to Clary, eyes sparkling. "Will I ever get a sister, Miss Clary?" she asked.

Clary half-choked on the saliva in her mouth, completely taken off guard by the question. Her mind went a mile a minute as she tried to figure out an appropriate response. She didn't really think it was her place to be telling the child about the miracle of life. CeeCee just continued to stare at her innocently.

"I, um," she finally managed to choke out, "think that's a question for your dad."

"Why?" she asked, her eyes boring into Clary's.

"Because mommies and daddies have to decide to have babies," she explained, not really sure how much she should be telling the little girl. "And even then, you might end up with a baby brother instead of a sister."

CeeCee's little nose scrunched up. "I don't want a brother." She then gasped, her eyes going wide. "Do you think I could ask Daddy for a sister for Christmas?"

Clary coughed to hide the laugh that escaped her. "I mean, sure, you could do that."

"How long does it take for a baby to get here?" CeeCee asked, her face very serious. "Christmas is less than a year away."

"Again, that's a question for your dad," she said, ruffling her hair. "Now, it's way past your bedtime. Go get ready for bed."

CeeCee let out a whine but threw herself off the couch before trudging down the hall to her room. Clary quickly picked up the small mess they had made during movie night while listening out to make sure CeeCee was brushing her teeth and washing her hands. After everything was tidied up, Clary went to read her a story and tuck her in.

Clary found CeeCee already in bed, sitting against the headboard with the comforter pulled over her lap. She was prepared with a book already clutched in her little hands. Clary sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she took the book. CeeCee snuggled further under her blanket.

CeeCee followed along with her eyes as Clary read _Where the Wild Things Are_ out loud. It was definitely one of the little girl's favorites and had been read by Clary multiple times. As Clary got toward the last few pages, CeeCee's eyes began to droop, and by the time she finished CeeCee was half-asleep.

Clary carefully removed her arm from around her and set the book on the bedside table. She adjusted CeeCee so that she was fully lying down and pulled the blanket up to her chin. She was about to stand when CeeCee's voice stopped her.

"Will you miss me while you're gone?" she asked quietly.

Clary frowned, reaching out and tucking her blonde hair behind her ear. "Of course, CeeCee. I'll miss you so much, and so will your daddy."

CeeCee pouted at her, her blue eyes watering slightly. "I wish I was going with you."

Clary felt that twinge in her heart that made her want to change all of their plans and bring CeeCee along with them. She knew that CeeCee needed to spend time with her other family, though. Jace and Clary also needed the time alone that they were about to have.

"That would be nice, but you're going to have loads of fun with your mommy and grandparents. I'm sure they have a lot of fun stuff planned for you. Plus, I promise to FaceTime or call every night before you go to bed, okay?"

She sniffled but nodded. "Can you do that when you have your alone sleepovers, too?"

Clary's heart cracked at the sadness in her voice. She had thought CeeCee would be fine with her weekends away since she had spent weekends at her mother's before and she had Jace with her. She hadn't realized the little girl was actually upset about it. "Whatever you want, sweetheart. Try to get some sleep. You have a big week ahead of you," she said, standing and bending over to place a kiss on her forehead.

She quietly walked to the door and was just about to leave when CeeCee called out to her again. "I love you, Miss Clary," she mumbled slightly, her eyes closing.

"I love you, too, sweet girl," Clary responded as she flicked off the lights, her heart so full she thought it might burst.

She went into her own room and showered and got ready for bed before padding up to Jace's bedroom. He was already in the bed, stripped down to just a pair of pajama pants and his laptop sitting on his thighs. He looked up and smiled at her as she crawled in next to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

"So, I had a very interesting talk with CeeCee earlier," she said after a few moments of watching him type.

He paused his typing, quirking an eyebrow. "Oh? About what?" he asked as he set his hand against her bare thigh.

One side of Clary's mouth rose up. "She wanted to know if she's ever going to get a sister."

Jace began to draw lazy circles on her thigh. "And what'd you say?"

Clary shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips. "To ask you," she said simply before biting the inside of her cheek for a moment. "Do you want more kids?"

He used his other hand to shut his laptop and place it on the nightstand before rolling on his side to face her. "One day, yeah. But I'd like to do it right this time, you know? Get married first, actually _plan_ for it." He looked at her with a cheeky grin. "For right now, though, I'm completely fine with practicing," he said, his handing moving farther up her exposed thigh.

* * *

Clary stared at the lights twinkling on the Eiffel Tower, a small smile gracing her face. It was their last night in Paris, and Jace had taken her out to dinner at a restaurant with a beautiful outdoor seating area. They unfortunately hadn't managed to actually spend that much time together throughout the week, as work had kept Jace busier than he had anticipated. Clary managed to fill the time, though.

She had spent her days walking around, window shopping, and visiting museums. As had been expected, the Louvre was definitely the highlight of her trip. At night, she and Jace usually ordered room service and spent the time tangled up in the sheets enjoying each other or watching movies until they fell asleep.

He had been amazing the entire trip, even from the beginning. He'd distracted and calmed her down during the plane ride. She'd never been on a plane before and had panicked during takeoff. He had given her brochures and recommendations for things he thought she would enjoy while he was taking care of work-related business. When they spent their nights together tucked away in their hotel room, he made an effort to have more talks like the ones they had during their phone calls.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this happy or at ease," Jace said from across from her, drawing her out of her thoughts. He set his champagne down, and the corners of his mouth lifted up. "I like it."

She shrugged, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "I've never experienced anything quite like this past week," she said, reaching across the table and taking his hand. "Thank you for this, really."  
He squeezed her hand in return. "Of course," he said softly. "I, uh, have something else for you."

With his other hand, he reached into the pocket of his dress pants, pulling out a small black, velvet box. He slid across the table to her, and she felt her heart hammering in her chest, hoping it was just a pair of earrings. Her hopes were quickly dashed, though, as she popped open the lid to reveal a ring with a silver band and small diamond nestled in the white satin cushion.

The air left her lungs, and the color drained from her face as her eyes focused on the piece of jewelry. He could not be doing this right now. Sure, he had talked about spending his life with her, but they had never actually discussed _this_.

"Shit," she heard Jace mutter across the table. "It's not _that_ Clary."

She lifted her eyes from the ring to look at him, silently asking him to explain.

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a large breath. "This might sound kind of stupid now that I think about it, but, um, it's a promise ring."

Her brow furrowed. "Promise ring?"

She saw his cheeks tinge slightly pink. Jace Herondale did _not_ blush. "I know it's kind of juvenile, but I was thinking since neither of us ever had that love-sick high school experience, this could be like that? It's a promise for the future, our future. A promise that someday we'll take that next step. Because I'm in this for long haul, Clary, and I'm hoping you are, too."

Tears slipped from her eyes as she slid the ring on to her right ring finger—the left would feel too much like an engagement ring. "It's perfect, Jace," she whispered, leaning across the table to press a chaste on his lips. "I'm in it for the long haul, too." She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on his, her hands on either side of his face, just absorbing his presence.

They stayed like that, lost in their own little bubble, until someone clearing their throat startled them apart. They both turned their heads to see the waiter standing there, their bill in his hands. He exchanged a few words with Jace in French as Jace handed him a credit card. The waiter walked away, and Clary felt the heat rise in her cheeks.

"Well, that was awkward," she muttered as she sat back down in her seat.

He chuckled, reaching across the table to grab her right hand. His thumb ran back and forth over the ring. "We're in the city of love, babe. He's used to it."

The waiter quickly returned, giving Jace back his credit card along with a receipt. They exchanged a few more words before Jace pushed back his chair and stood, offering his hand to Clary. She gingerly took it, and he helped her stand. As soon as she was up, he moved to wrap an arm around her waist, and they started their walk back to the hotel.

"Have I told you how absolutely fucking amazing you look tonight?" he murmured into her ear as they made their way down the street.

She rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at her lips. "You might have mentioned it once or twice."

Earlier in the day, she had splurged on what she thought was the definition of a little black dress to wear. It adhered perfectly to her body and hugged her curves in the exact right places while showing off her legs and cleavage. Multiple times throughout the night Jace had commented on it, letting her know just how much he appreciated the new article of clothing.

"Is there anything special you wanted to do for our last night here?" he asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Tonight has been special enough," she said, placing her head on his shoulder. "And honestly, Mr. Herondale, I just want to get you into bed at this point."

He squeezed her closer to his side. "I believe I can have that arranged, Miss Fray," he said as he picked up their pace.

The practically ran back to their hotel, and once they were in the privacy of their own suite, they wasted no time in removing each other's clothes. Within a minute, Jace had Clary bare and sprawled out on the plush bed. She felt excitement coil in her stomach as he stalked toward her, as naked as she was with his arousal on full display.

"God, I love you," he whispered as he reached her. He climbed on to the bed, his body hovering over hers and their faces level. "I love your hair." He ran his hand through her red curls. "I love your eyes. I love your mouth." He stroked his hand down her face, stopping only to gently push his thumb between her slightly parted lips.

She sucked his thumb into her mouth, not breaking eye contact. She reveled in the groan that vibrated at the back of his throat as she swirled her tongue around the tip. He removed his thumb after only a few short seconds, dragging his hand farther down. He stopped once more, this time with his hand resting on the left side of her chest.

"I love how kind and big your heart is," he murmured before removing his hand and placing a kiss in the spot it had previously occupied.

His other hand joined the first as he moved it down to grasp her breasts. "I love your body."

Her breathing was beginning to come in shorter pants, and his hands gently massaged her flesh. He brushed his thumbs over her pebbled peaks, causing her to arch into his touch with a soft moan. His lips formed a sexy smirk as he skimmed his hands down her sides.

"I love your curves."

He started to run his nose softly down her body. Her stomach clenched as his face moved between the valley of her breasts and down her abdomen, lower and lower. She was a quivering mess before even dipped one of his fingers into her arousal.

"I love how you always seem to be so ready for me," he breathed, a soft gust of air caressing her most sensitive spot. He withdrew his fingers and quickly replaced them with his tongue, taking a long, languid lick. "I love how you taste."

She let out a whimper, his words and the sight of him between her thighs increasing the desire and arousal she felt. He continued to take his time teasing her, his tongue making slow and deliberate movements as she writhed beneath him.

Just as she thought she was about to lose it if he didn't do more, he attached his lips to her little bundle of nerves and easily slipped two fingers into her. A guttural moan escaped her, and her hands fisted the down comforter. He paused his movements for a moment and pulled away slightly.

"I love the sounds you make when I touch you," he said softly before returning to his previous task.

It wasn't long before she came undone, his name falling from her mouth in the middle of a long string of curses. He slowly kissed his way back up her body as she came down from her orgasm. He brought his mouth to hers, his tongue gently probing exploring, allowing her to taste herself on him. He eventually pulled away, nuzzling his head in the crook of her neck.

"And I love the way you scream my name when you come," he spoke once more.

Clary pushed gently on his chest, just enough so that she could roll them over. She straddled his hips, his erection pressing into her thigh. She kissed him slowly, grinding slightly to provide some friction. She followed his earlier lead, kissing and touching her way down his body, telling him all the things she loved about him. _His eyes. His smile. His touch. How full of love his heart is._

She took him in her mouth and brought him just to the edge before working her way back up his body to kiss him. Her mouth moved against his unhurriedly as they put every emotion they were feeling behind the kiss. Clary continued to kiss him as she adjusted herself and easily slid down his length, both of them groaning as his filled her.

Their mouths broke apart, but they kept their faces close. Their breath mixed together as they panted and moaned. Clary rolled her hips, and Jace thrusted upwards to meet her movements. She dropped her head, her forehead resting on his shoulder as she continued to move. She whispered "I love you" over and over again into his slightly damp skin before cresting for the second the time that night. Jace followed close behind, softly calling out her name as he came inside her.

He pulled her down so she was lying on top of him, their bodies still connected. They remained silent for a while, her tracing shapes on his chest and him running his fingers up and down her spine. Clary kept her eye on the ring on her right hand as her pointer finger moved over Jace's skin.

She hadn't been lying when she told him it was perfect, and she believed he was finally listening to her and catching on to what mattered to her. The ring was simple and definitely not as expensive as some of the gifts he had bought her in the past. Even the car, while originally given with the wrong intent, had been a Subaru and not some luxury car brand.

The word compromise came to mind again. She was going to have to learn how to do more of it. Jace had grown up with money. He was used to buying nice things and spoiling the people he cared about. It was his way of showing affection, and she had to get used to it. She had to learn to compromise and let him spoil her every now and again.

Plus, there was so much meaning behind the thin band and small diamond. He wasn't trying to buy her forgiveness or affection; he was showing her how much she meant to him. He was giving her a promise of an eventual forever. They weren't ready for it now, but she was glad to know that it was in their future.

She was suddenly overcome with even more emotion and felt tears sting at the backs of her eyes. After everything that had happened with Raphael, she had worried that'd she never find actual love. But then Jace stumbled into her life, and she was happier than she had ever been.

A few tears slipped from her eyes, spilling down her cheeks and onto Jace's chest. He stopped his movements, bringing a hand under her chin and tilting her head up. His eyes went back and forth between hers.

"What's wrong?" he asked, a frown etched on his face as he wiped away her tears.

She gave him a watery smile and shook her head. "Nothing," she said. "Things couldn't be better than they are right now."

His brow furrowed. "So why are you crying?"

She adjusted her body so she could press a quick kiss to his lips. "I just got emotional thinking about how happy I am and how glad I am that we found each other and how absolutely in love with you I am."

He chuckled as he played with a piece of her hair. "You're going to be a mess on our wedding day, aren't you?"

Her heart felt like it was stopping and picking up its pace at the same time at the mention of a wedding day. She lifted her right hand and wiggled her fingers in front of his face. "This is just a promise ring, Mr. Herondale. I haven't agreed to marry you yet," she teased.

"But you will, Clary. I know it," he said with a grin before flipping her onto her back.

* * *

They had been living in their own little world during their time in Paris, but reality hit them hard when they returned home. CeeCee had become clingy after spending the break away with her grandparents. She was never more than a few feet away from Clary or Jace at any given time except when sleeping. Clary had no idea why she was acting that way considering she had spent time away over Thanksgiving.

On top of that, the flu vaccine proved to not be very effective, and during the week following spring break, CeeCee caught the flu at school. She had then passed it along to Jace over the weekend when Clary was gone. That was how Clary found herself quarantining the two of them to Jace's room on Monday.

It was only early afternoon, but both Jace and his daughter were asleep. Clary took this time to go through and clean the apartment. She worked on disinfecting every surface possible and washing contaminated clothes and bedding. After beginning one of the loads of laundry, she made her way into the kitchen to work on dinner. Usually Imogen would be around, but Clary had sent her home not wanting to risk her catching the flu also. Clary knew that at her age she had a better immune system than the older woman and was willing to take the risk.

As Clary stood at the stove stirring a pot of chicken noodle soup—the recipe for which she found online—a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. Jace bent to set his chin on her shoulder, and she cringed away from his touch.

"If you get me sick, I'm smothering you in your sleep," she said as she stepped out of his reach.

He pouted but kept his hands to himself. "But I miss you," he responded, his voice hoarse from all the coughing he had been doing recently. "Just one little kiss?"

"Nope," she said, lowering the stove heat to a simmer. "Think of it as an incentive for you to get better sooner." She moved around him to start pulling down bowls. "As a doctor, you would think you'd be better about not spreading germs and illnesses."

He leaned against the counter and shrugged. "All rational thought just leaves my mind when I'm around you," he said with a smirk.

She laughed and shook her head. "That would have been a lot smoother if you didn't sound like you had ten years' worth of mucus in your throat and nose."

The pout returned full-force, and Jace placed a hand over his heart. "That cut deep, Clary."

She just hummed in response and began to clean up the mess she made in the kitchen. She put all the left over ingredients in the cupboard and fridge before loading the dishwasher with the dirty dishes. She then began wiping down the counters and sinks.

"I love how good you look moving around my kitchen," Jace said.

Clary ignored his words. "You should go lie back down; you need your rest," she said as she wiped down the counter next to him. "I'll bring you and CeeCee dinner in a few.

He pushed himself off the counter and started to leave, but he paused in the archway to the kitchen. "You know, I think a sexy nurse costume would look very good on you."

She rolled her eyes. "Isn't that a bit of a cliché fantasy, Doctor?" After a short pause she added, "But we might be able to look into it once you're back to full health."

He flashed her a toothy grin before finally making his way back up the stairs and to his room. Clary quickly finished wiping down the kitchen and putting everything away. She turned off the stove and stirred the soup one last time before ladling it into two bowls.

She couldn't find any sort of tray, so she improvised and placed the bowls on a serving platter. After adding tea, honey, and some Saltines, she carefully walked up to Jace's room. She used her hip to nudge to door open and found CeeCee and Jace sitting up in bed watching some cartoon. She set their dinner down on the nightstand on Jace's side before walking around to CeeCee.

"How are you feeling, sweetie?" she asked, placing the back of her hand on her forehead. She noted that it didn't feel any warmer than it had earlier in the day.

"I hurt," she said, her voice small.

Clary offered her a comforting smile and brushed the hair back from her face. "I know, honey. But we're working on making you feel better, okay?"

She felt terrible about not being able to do more, but it wasn't time for her to give her another dose of children's Tylenol for the body aches yet. She went back to Jace's side and, with a teasing smile, went through the same process with him. He removed her hand from his face but interlocked his fingers with hers, squeezing gently.

"It's nice to be taken care of for a change," he said softly, his eyes boring into hers. "Thank you."

Clary was hit with a wave of emotion at his words. Jace had such a caring and nurturing nature, and she never thought about the fact that he hadn't had anyone to look after him for a while. Both his parents were gone, and Kaelie definitely wasn't the type to dote on someone else. He had spent the past five years looking after CeeCee, but nobody had been there to do the same for him. And she was more than happy to take on that role for him. In fact, she was _proud_ to be that person for him.

She was also quickly realizing that taking care of CeeCee, and sometimes Jace, no longer felt like a job at all. It just felt like the next step in the progression of their relationship. Looking after them felt like what she _should_ be doing, especially if Jace planned on making her a part of his little family one day.

As Jace let go of her hand and turned his attention to CeeCee and their dinner, Clary realized they were going to have to have a very serious conversation about her employment status. It no longer felt right for him to pay her for watching and spending time with the little girl who would one day become her daughter.

* * *

 **A/N: I feel really bad because I meant to update sooner but was pulling 50+ hour weeks between a job and internship. I'll try not to take as long between updates again, but I have a really busy semester ahead of me, so I can't promise anything.**


	17. Chapter 16

Clary waited impatiently, her hands resting on her bouncing knees, for CeeCee's name to be called. They had already called a few G names, and Clary was sure it was only a matter of moments before it was CeeCee's turn to walk across the stage.

"For the love of God, stop moving," Kaelie hissed from next to her.

Clary shot her a glare but stilled her movements and bit back her retort. Now was the time nor the place to get into with Kaelie. Although, Clary was slightly suspicious as to why Kaelie had bothered showing up. Kaelie had apparently not been very present during CeeCee's spring break visit, and Clary wanted to know why she had suddenly decided to be involved in the little girl's life again that night. Clary felt Kaelie either needed to commit to being an active part of CeeCee's life or get out of it completely.

Jace didn't seem to agree with her, though. It hadn't taken them long to realize that CeeCee's sudden clinginess was most likely caused by the sudden distance between her and her mother. What Jace was focused on right now was how happy CeeCee was her mother around again. What Clary was focused on was how CeeCee would feel when Kaelie inevitably distanced herself again. Clary understood that it was difficult for Jace to watch his daughter being heartbroken; it was difficult for her, too. But he was focusing too much on the present and not enough on the future. He was usually so good about what was right for his daughter, but at that moment he was coming up short.

CeeCee's name was finally called. Clary immediately jumped out of her seat and started cheering. The little girl beamed as she walked across the stage in a bright yellow gown with her golden curls tucked underneath a matching cap. A wide grin was spread across her face, two dimples prominent on her cheeks. She took a rolled piece of paper from the principal and paused while a photo was taken.

Clary didn't sit back down until CeeCee was completely off the stage. Jace reached over, placing a hand on her knee and squeezing gently. He was smiling broadly, his eyes shining with tears and pride.

Clary felt a sudden pang of jealousy, one she hadn't been expecting. She was it with the realization of just how lucky Jace and Kaelie were.

She had always thought they were lucky; CeeCee was an amazing child. But now, it was dawning on her that they had been allowed to watch CeeCee grow into the person she was—from newborn infant to kindergarten graduate. Having known CeeCee for less than a year, Clary was only experiencing a small amount of the pride and emotion Jace must be feeling. She couldn't even imagine knowing what it was like to help bring a child into the world and then be able to watch everything they accomplished and did as they moved through life.

"Are you okay?" Jace asked quietly as more names were called.

She nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just feeling a little emotional."

He continued to look at her for a moment, seemingly searching for something. With another squeeze of her knee, he turned his attention back to the stage to watch the rest of CeeCee's peers. Once all the names had been called and the closing statements were given, they left their seats to find CeeCee.

They found her chatting excitedly with her teacher, but she stopped talking and ran over as soon as she spotted her parents and Clary approaching. She wrapped her arms tightly around Clary's waist in a hug before moving onto Kaelie, who surprisingly reciprocated the sign of affection. After CeeCee and her mother had their moment, Jace picked the little girl up and held her on his hip. He placed a wet kiss on her cheek, causing her to fall into a fit of giggles.

"You're growing up so fast," he said, feigning a groan as he adjusted her on his hip. "How do you want to celebrate now that you are officially done with kindergarten?"

"Pizza!" she yelled without missing a beat.

"I think Miss Clary and I can arrange a trip to Marco's," he said, shooting Clary a knowing look. They had already discussed the fact that CeeCee would most likely want to go to the pizza arcade a few blocks from home.

"Is Mommy going, too?" she asked as she turned her head and looked expectantly at her mother.

"I'm sure your mom would love to come with us," Clary said, giving Kaelie a pointed look.

The woman ignored Clary, though. "I've actually already got plans," Kaelie said. "Your grandparents are looking forward to taking you out soon, so we can celebrate together then."

Clary risked a glance at Jace. His face was impassive, but she could tell his jaw was slightly clenched.

"I'm sure you could afford to reschedule whatever plans you have in order to spend some time with your _daughter_ ," Clary stressed.

"I'm sorry, but Raphael had to pull a lot of strings to get our reservation, and we can't just cancel." She leaned over, giving CeeCee a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later. Love you, honey."

Clary watched as Kaelie moved her way through the auditorium and left. She turned her attention back to Jace and CeeCee. Jace was glaring daggers in the direction Kaelie had walked, and CeeCee's eyes looked slightly glassy. Clary felt her own anger and disappointment growing. She _knew_ Kaelie was going to end up hurting CeeCee again; she just didn't think it would be so soon.

She didn't want to let anything ruin CeeCee's night, though. She put a smile on her face and clapped her hands together. "So," she started, breaking the tense silence, "pizza?"

Jace offered a weak smile back. "Of course," he replied, setting CeeCee back down on her feet. "You ready, baby girl?"

CeeCee nodded, taking her father's hand, but it was obvious that she wasn't as into it as she had been earlier.

Clary reached down and took CeeCee's other hand, giving it a slight squeeze. "What type of pizza are you going to get?" Clary asked as they walked out of the auditorium. "One with broccoli? Or how about anchovies?"

"Ewww!" CeeCee squealed. "I like just cheese. Remember, Miss Clary?"

"Silly me. How could I forget?" she said with a smile. They reached the car, and Clary worked on buckling CeeCee into her car seat. "We'll get just cheese. No broccoli or anchovies."

CeeCee let out a giggle, any signs of her sullen mood gone, and Clary ruffled her hair before closing the back door. She slid into the passenger seat and looked over at Jace who was sitting behind the wheel. He mouthed the words _thank you_ to her. She just shrugged and smiled, reaching over to lace their fingers together over the center console.

CeeCee chattered aimlessly during their drive back home. They were going to drop her things off at the apartment before walking down to Marco's. Once they were inside, CeeCee took off to put her things away in her room and change out of the dress she wore under her gown. The second she was out of view, Jace turned to Clary, placing his hands on either side of her face and bringing his mouth to hers.

Despite her initial surprise, she melted into the kiss right away, her arms instinctively wrapping around his torso. His hands moved from her cheeks to fist her hair, allowing him to deepen the kiss. They pulled apart, breathless, when they heard drawers slamming open and closed in CeeCee's room.

"What was that for?" Clary breathed, her body still pressed against his.

He stepped back slightly, his hands smoothing her hair down where he had messed it up. "For being so amazing. For loving my daughter as much as I do and working so hard to stand up for her and keep her happy."

"It's hard not to love her, you know," she said, lifting and dropping a shoulder.

He gave her a lopsided smile. "Yeah. I do know. You both have that in common."

Her cheeks heated, and she pursed her mouth slightly to keep from smiling. "Shut up," she said, lightly shoving his shoulder with her hand.

"Miss Clary!" CeeCee gasped from behind them. "That's a bad word!"

Clary jumped slightly, not having heard the girl leave her room. She then comprehended what was said and gave Jace a questioning look. _Shut up?_ she mouthed to him.

He gave her a slight nod before turning to his daughter. "Miss Clary accidentally said it, and I'm sure she didn't mean for you to overhear it," Jace said. "Are you all ready to go?"

CeeCee nodded excitedly, easily forgetting about the "bad word." She quickly put on a pair of shoes that were sitting in the foyer, and Jace knelt down to help her tie the laces. They took off again once her shoes were tied.

Clary and Jace walked next to each other down the sidewalk, their hands laced together, while CeeCee walked about a foot in front of them.

"So," Clary started, "shut up is a bad word?"

Jace let out a low chuckle, his eyes remaining on his daughter. "At her age it is. Do you really want a bunch of six-year-olds yelling at each other to shut up?"

"I guess not. I just wasn't expecting to get reprimanded by a six-year-old for using a pretty common phrase. I'll try to watch my language more in the future. Wouldn't want to corrupt her young mind," she joked.

They walked in silence for a bit, both watching as CeeCee jumped over cracks in the sidewalk and avoided puddles from the day's earlier rain. A slight chill suddenly ran up Clary's spine despite the warm temperature outside. She looked around and didn't notice anything that seemed out of the ordinary. Still, she couldn't shake the heavy feeling that was forming in her stomach.

"Hey, sweetie," she called out to CeeCee, "do you wanna come hold my hand?"

Jace looked down at her, his brow furrowed. "Everything all right?"

"I just have a weird feeling, I don't know," she said quietly as CeeCee bounced back to them and grabbed Clary's free hand.

Clary saw Jace scan their surroundings, just as she had done. He must not have noticed anything either because they didn't stop or turn back around.

It didn't that much longer for them to reach Marco's. By the time they ordered and sat down, the uneasy feeling had subsided mostly, though it still lingered. Clary offered to stay at the table and wait for their food while Jace took CeeCee to play some games. The random anxiety settling in her system wasn't putting her in the best mood, and she didn't want to risk CeeCee catching on to it.

She rested her elbow on the table and put her chin against her fist as she watched the father-daughter duo begin a game of Star Wars pinball. Jace helped CeeCee as she randomly hit at the buttons on the side of the machine. Clary couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when CeeCee let out a squealing laugh as the pinball machine lit up and started making noises.

It wasn't long before their order arrived, and Clary motioned the pair back over. CeeCee sat across from Jace and Clary, happily munching on a personal cheese pizza as Jace and Clary shared a supreme. Clary picked at the slice in front of her while Jace easily downed half the pizza.

Jace placed an arm around Clary's shoulders and pulled her into his side. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly in her ear when CeeCee's attention was fixed on a group of older kids playing skeeball.

She put her head against his shoulder and shrugged. "Just not feeling so great," she said. It wasn't a lie. As soon as the food had been placed on the table in front of her, something had turned in her stomach, and she lost all interest in eating.

He pressed a soft kiss against her hair. "You wanna go home?"

She shook her head, angling her neck so she could look up at him. "It's a big night for CeeCee. I'll be fine," she said, offering what she hoped was a reassuring smile, despite the rolling in her stomach.

* * *

Her bare feet were almost silent on the cold floor as she padded down the hall. She had woken with a start from a nightmare she could not recall, in a cold sweat with the sheets and comforter tangled around her exposed legs. She had blindly reached over, searching for the comfort of the body next to her, only to find nothing but cold material. Jace was no longer in the bed.

She quickly threw one of his discarded t-shirts over her near-naked body and went in search of him. CeeCee was spending the week with her grandparents, and Clary didn't have to worry about being seen by her.

It didn't take her long to find Jace, the light spilling out from the crack under his office door like a neon sign pointing to his location. She wasn't surprised to find him there. For the past week or so since CeeCee's graduation he had been extremely strung out over work. He had already been stressed because they still had been unable to replace the research scientist they had lost over a year ago. On top of that, there had been a few hacker attempts on the systems at work. Jace had been wound up over the fact they didn't know who was doing it or exactly what information they were trying to access. There was a lot of confidential information both about clients and about research projects on Herondale Pharmaceuticals' systems, and whoever the hacker was could be trying to access any of it.

Clary quietly pushed the door open, not even bothering to knock. Jace was staring at the computer, dressed casually in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. His hair was an unruly mess, showing obvious signs that he had been running his hands through it. He looked up when he heard her enter, his brow furrowing.

"Hey," he said softly, "what are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she replied as she approached him. She squeezed herself between his desk and his chair and forced him to scoot back a little so she could sit on his lap. She sat down, her cheek pressed against his chest and her legs hanging off the side of his.

"Couldn't sleep," was all he offered as he reached around her to grab the mouse and scroll through the document he had pulled up.

"Hm," she hummed in response. "Whatcha doing?"

"Looking through some more applications," he said, stifling a yawn.

"Still haven't found anyone?" she asked, pausing as he nodded. "Why'd you fire the other guy if you needed him so bad?"

He placed his free hand on her knee and began rubbing small circles with his thumb. "He was stealing supplies from the facility to do his own research at home. Never asked what it was, and his performance had already begun slipping, and I just couldn't keep him on after that." He exited out of the page was looking at before pulling another one up. "Now, you never did tell me why you're awake."

"Bad dream," she said, pressing her face into his chest and listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

"What was it about?" he asked, letting go of the mouse and moving his hand to rub up and down her arm.

"Don't remember. But I woke up and you weren't there," she said, adding a slight whine to her voice.

"Sorry," he let out with a soft chuckle before turning a little more serious. "How are you feeling, though?"

"Okay," she answered, shrugging slightly in his hold. She'd been having random bouts of nauseous for the past week but nothing had ever come from them. She was blaming it on the unexplained anxiety she had been experiencing and the stress of knowing Jace was stressed.

"I still think you should go see a doctor," Jace said before kissing the top of her head.

"You're a doctor."

"Good observation. But I mean a general practitioner who has the tools and everything to properly look you over."

"Nothing has ever stopped you from thoroughly _looking me over_ before," she teased as she removed her face from his chest and reached up to place an open-mouth kiss on his jaw. She could tell how tense he was and wanted to help him relax a little. She also, selfishly, didn't want to go back to bed alone.

"Clary," he groaned, his one hand stilling to squeeze her thigh. "I have work to do."

"It's the middle of the night, Jace," she said as she rearranged her body so that she was now straddling his lap, "work is not the thing you should be _doing_." She wrapped her arms around his neck and began trailing kisses along his jaw, feeling the effect she had on him as he stirred beneath her.

"And what exactly do you propose I should be doing instead?" he asked, his voice raspy as she rotated her hips against him.

"I think you know the answer to that," she replied, bucking her hips against him once more before placing her mouth on his.

He groaned against her mouth, his hands pushing up her shirt and finding purchase on her waist. He pulled her flush against him, his tongue easily sliding between her lips. A soft moan bubbled up from her throat as his tongue flicked against hers. He pushed his hips up, his arousal pressing into her, and she gasped into the kiss.

His hands moved from her waist back down to her thighs, his fingers digging slightly into her flesh. He ended their kiss, both of them breathing hard, and a squeal of surprise left her as he stood up, bringing her with him.

"Where are we going?" she breathed, trying not to let the lips that were now nipping and sucking at her neck distract her.

"Bedroom," he said before scraping his teeth lightly against her pulse point.

"No hot office sex?" she managed.

He hummed against her neck, his grip on her thighs tightening. "Nope," he said, gently taking her earlobe into his mouth.

"What a shame," she said, gasping as he pressed her against a wall and ground into her.

"I don't plan on you having much use of your legs by time we're done," he murmured into her ear, "and I don't feel like spending the rest of the night on the office floor."

A groan escaped her lips before he removed her from the wall and finished their journey back to the bedroom.

* * *

Clary sighed, pressing her forehead against the cold wall of the employee bathroom. She knew it probably wasn't the most sanitary thing for her to do, but the cool tile felt nice against her flushed skin. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the rolling in her stomach. She had already dry heaved into the toilet but produced nothing, and it just left her feeling clammy.

She had no idea what was up with her. When she had shown up to work, she had felt just fine. It wasn't until about two hours in when she had been suddenly hit with nausea and rushed to the restroom. She was trying to regain some feeling of better health before returning to work. It was one of their busier nights, and she needed to be able to perform well.

Forcing herself away from the wall, she walked over to the faucet. Her hands gripped the edge of the sink as a sudden wave of dizziness overcame her, and she blew out a harsh breath. This wasn't the first time she'd felt lightheaded or dizzy or of the past few weeks, and at this point, she was considering following Jace's advice and seeing a doctor.

A knock on the door grabbed her attention, and she turned her head in its direction. As she was about to speak, Helen's voice came through the wood.

"Clary?" she called. "Are you alright?"

Clary made her way to the door and pulled it open, leaning on the block of wood for support. "Yeah, I'm good," she said, trying to keep her voice even. "Just taking a breather, you know?"

Helen raised an eyebrow at her, the corners of her mouth turning down slightly. "Really? Because you kinda look like shit."

Clary rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks. Just what I wanted to hear. But seriously, I'm—"

"No you're not fine," Helen interrupted. "You really look like you should go home."

"But we're so busy, and—"

"Maybe, but the last thing we need is you puking on someone or passing out on the floor."

Clary huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "It'll pass if you'd just give me a few minutes. I'll be fine and ready to go back out there."

Helen shook her head at her. "Nope. You're going home. And if you won't listen to me, then I'll bring Bat in as reinforcement."

"Fine," Clary bit out. If she went home with Helen's directions, she could at least come back the next day. If Bat got involved, he wouldn't let her come back until she had a clean bill of health complete with doctor's note. "But if you get overwhelmed with this crowd, call me and I'll be right back."

"Yeah, whatever," Helen said with a slight laugh. "We'll be fine, Fray, I promise."

Helen turned and walked back out to the club. Clary waited a few seconds before going and grabbing her things from the employee break room. She paused while digging through her bag for keys. If she was being honest with herself, she really wasn't feeling that great, and she wasn't sure she wanted to drive while still feeling dizzy.

Ceasing her search for her keys, she pulled out her phone and dialed Jordan's number. He had been surprised to hear from her and was adamant about making sure everything was okay before agreeing to come get her. She went out the back entrance to wait for him, and it didn't take long for him to show up.

"Finally decided to end your Miss Independent streak?" Jordan asked as she slid into the passenger seat.

"Shut it," she said, buckling her seatbelt, "or I won't ask for your help again."

He chuckled as he pulled out of the alley and started down the road. It wasn't long before he pulled up outside her building. She had gathered her things and had her fingers wrapped around the handle when he stopped her.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked.

She nodded, opening the car door. "I'm probably just going to sleep it off."

"Okay," he said. "Don't be afraid to call again if you need anything."

She gave him an affirming nod before exiting the car and walking quickly into her building. Once inside her apartment, she took her time showering and getting ready for bed. She pulled on her favorite pair of pajamas and had just slipped under the covers when her phone rang on her nightstand.

She answered the incoming video call, and Jace's face filled the screen. She could tell he was sitting in his living room based on the background.

"Hey," she greeted, offering him a small smile.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" he asked, taking in her appearance and location.

She shook her head. "I was just getting settled in. What's up?" she asked, wanting to know the reason behind the late-night call.

"Jordan told me you weren't feeling well. I wanted to check in."

She held back an eye roll. She shouldn't have been surprised that Jordan shared the information with him. "Yeah. I'm just planning on getting plenty of sleep this weekend."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Will you finally go see a doctor now?"

She sighed, burrowing herself slightly more beneath her comforter. "Yes, Jace. I'll try to get in on Monday."

"No. You _will_ get in on Monday. I'll make a few calls and get you in with someone."

This time, she did roll her eyes. "I honestly don't even feel that bad. It's not worth you pulling strings."

He just shrugged at her, smiling. "I have connections, Clare. Let me use them."

"Whatever. I don't think I'd have much say in the matter anyway."

"Not really," he admitted.

They continued to talk about menial things, just enjoying each other's company even if it was digital. When Clary let out what had to be her seventh yawn, Jace gave her a soft smile.

"I'll let you get some rest," he said. "I love you."

"Love you, too," she responded softly.

* * *

Clary sat in the parking lot of the doctor's office, trying to process what she had just been told. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. So forgetful. She'd had an appointment to get her shot during the week Jace had taken her to Paris. She had cancelled it due to the trip but had completely forgotten to ever reschedule it. And now here she was, anxious, nauseous, and _pregnant_.

Closing her eyes, she threw her head back against the headrest. Pregnant. She was pregnant. For the second time. Again, it was unexpected and unplanned. While she knew Jace's reaction wouldn't be anything like Raphael's, she wasn't so sure he'd be happy with the news. He had said that he wanted more kids in the future, but he wanted to be married and to plan and prepare for them.

She didn't know how to break the news to him. She didn't even know how far along she was yet. With the shot, she didn't get her period and couldn't give the doctor a last menstrual cycle. He wasn't prepared to do a sonogram or anything, but he did refer to an OB, telling her to make an appointment as soon as possible. He had told her a second unsuccessful pregnancy was unlikely, but it was better to be safe than sorry. She had called the OB and made her appointment for the following week, hopefully giving her time to sort things out with Jace. The first appointment would be to find out a due date, but the OB would also probably want to keep a closer eye on her due to her history.

Blowing out a breath, she sat up straight in her seat and started the car. She had to pick up CeeCee from Jace's office. CeeCee was back from her time with her grandparents, and Clary was supposed to go back to watching her today, but Jace had insisted on taking her to work while Clary went to her appointment—which was easily made for that Monday morning thanks to Jace's connections.

As she started her trip downtown to Herondale Pharmaceuticals, she tried to think of how to break the news to Jace. It didn't help that she wasn't sure how he would take it. Hell, she wasn't even sure how she was taking the news herself. On one hand, she knew she wanted a baby and part of her was ecstatic that she was being given a second chance at motherhood. On the other hand, she knew she and Jace weren't ready for a baby together. They were supposed to be taking things slow, and she had no idea how bringing a baby into the mix would affect their relationship.

With her first appointment set for the next week, she knew she'd have to tell him before then. She just didn't know when the right time would be. She didn't know if she should try to do something cute or special to let him know or if she should just be blunt and straightforward about it.

She felt tears of frustration prick at the back of her eyes, and she willed herself not to cry. The last thing she wanted to do was show up at Jace's office with bloodshot eyes and smeared mascara. She was too close to Jace's office to even consider having a breakdown.

Pulling into a space in the parking garage, she took a few deep breaths in an attempt to gather her bearings. She walked at what was most likely a less than acceptable pace into the building, hoping she could use the few extra seconds to calm down. The elevator ride up gave her even more time to regain her composure, and she made sure she had plastered a friendly smile on her face by time the doors opened.

She gave Catarina a friendly wave as she walked by and into Jace's office. Jace was hunched over his desk, papers sprawled all across the surface. The pen his hand moved furiously across one of the pages. CeeCee was sitting on the floor, her back against the couch, with a book in her lap. She looked in Clary's direction as the door opened, and a grin immediately took over her face.

"Miss Clary!" she yelled as she threw her book down and jumped off the couch.

Jace looked up at his daughter's outburst, and Clary let out a little "oof" as CeeCee charged at her and took her in a hug. Clary placed a hand on the little girl's head as she squeezed her arms around her thighs.

"Hello, sweetheart," she said, trying to keep her voice even. With the news she had received that morning, she couldn't help but imagine a day when someone was yelling _mommy_ to greet her instead.

"I missed you," CeeCee said, her voice muffled because her face was pressed against Clary. She had returned that morning from her grandparents', but Clary had left for her appointment before she arrived.

"I missed you, too, sweet girl. Were you good for your daddy today?"

"Mhm," she hummed. "I read and colored and was on my bestest behavior."

"Is that right?" Clary asked, moving her eyes to look at Jace.

Jace put down the pen he was holding and stood from his desk. "I can whole heartedly confirm that she was on her bestest behavior," he said, crossing the room. He wrapped an arm around Clary and placed a kiss against her temple. "How was your appointment?"

"I-It was fine," she answered.

"What'd the doc have to say?" he pressed.

While Clary didn't know how to tell him about the new life growing inside of her, she did know that this was not the time or place to do so. Not in his office and definitely _not_ in front of CeeCee. "He, uh, he said it's probably just stress," she stammered out.

"Oh," Jace said, a small wrinkle appearing between his brows. "What's stressing you out that badly."

She gave him a noncommittal shrug. There were now quite a few things she could list. She decided to change the subject and looked back down at CeeCee. "Since you were so good today, why don't we go out and get some ice cream?" she asked.

The little girl squealed and nodded her head in affirmation. Clary turned to Jace. "We should get going and leave you to your work. We'll talk tonight?"

He cocked his head to the side, his brow furrowed. "Uh, sure."

That night would be as good a time as any to break the news, she decided.

* * *

Clary sat on the couch, her knees drawn up and her sketchpad resting on them. With pencil in hand, she drew graphite lines on the paper's surface. The image beginning to form was what her and Jace's child looked like in her mind's eyes. His loose curls and jaw with her cheeks and eyes. She wished she had brought her colored pencils out so she could put more detail into her drawing.

She glanced at the clock, which was nearing midnight. Jace had left with Luke and Jordan in tow about twenty minutes ago. There had been some sort of attempted break in at the office, and they had gone to investigate. Jace had a feeling it was the same person that was trying to hack into their systems.

She had yet to tell him about her pregnancy. CeeCee had been riled up and excited all night, telling them about every little thing she did while with her grandparents. She hadn't gone to bed until around eleven, and Clary hadn't been given the chance to sit down alone with Jace before the break in happened.

With all the excitement from the day, Clary found herself getting more and more tired. She wanted to stay up so she could talk with Jace when he made it back home, but her heavy eyelids told her it might be a losing fight. She set her sketchbook aside, telling herself she would close her eyes for just a few minutes.

She was startled awake by a soft banging sound, like an object being dropped. She glanced at the clock above the television, which told her that she had only been asleep for about fifteen minutes. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the couch, listening for any other noise.

"Jace?" she called out, wondering if maybe he had come home in those short minutes. All the lights were now off in the apartment, and she knew they were one before she fell asleep.

Just as she stood up to investigate, a bloodcurdling scream came from CeeCee's room. Clary went to check in on her, trying not to bump into anything as the only light was coming from that night's moon. She had just reached the hallway when an arm wrapped around her from behind, causing her own scream to escape.

There was something oddly familiar about the person's hold, but she instinctively knew it wasn't Jace. She fought against their hold, kicking her legs and trying to free her arms. When she felt the prick of a needle in her neck, she started to panic even more. She had no clue what was going on or what she had just been injected with, but there was no way it was anything good.

Her movements began to slow down, her arms and legs suddenly feeling heavy. Her head felt like it was full of content and her tongue like it was made of led. Through the fogginess, she watched as someone came out of CeeCee's room, the small girl unconscious in their arms. Had they drugged her, too?

The intruder walked through a patch of moonlight, and even through her muddled mind, Clary recognized the man's shockingly white hair. She tried to open her mouth to say something, to let him know that she recognized him, but her body wouldn't cooperate. Whoever was holding her began to set her limp body down on the floor. She struggled to get back up, but her arms and legs felt like they were being weighed down by cinderblocks, and the edges of her vision began to fade out.

The last thing she saw before everything went black was the backs of the two men as they entered the elevator with CeeCee in their possession.


	18. Chapter 17

A rhythmic beeping broke through the haze in her mind, slowly bringing her back to consciousness. She carefully opened her eyes, flinching against the bright white ceiling above her. There was a deep pounding behind her eyes, and the beeping in the room wasn't helping anything. She squeezed her eyes shut, a low groan escaping through her lips.

"Miss Fray?" a voice called from next to her.

She slowly turned her head in its direction and just barely cracked her eyes open. Luke was sitting in a hard plastic chair next to her. He was dressed in his normal, professional manner, but she could tell there was something off about his demeanor. He wasn't as stoic as he normally was, coming across as almost anxious or worried.

She was about to ask what was wrong, when everything suddenly came back to her. She sprang up into a sitting position, ignoring the pain radiating from her head, her eyes fixed on Luke's.

"Where's CeeCee?" she asked, her voice sounding scratchy to her own ears.

He immediately adverted his gaze, and his hands formed fists on his knees. "We don't know," was all he said.

She swallowed thickly and briefly closed her eyes, fighting against the burn at the back of them. She barely registered the sound of the beeping in the background picking up pace as her heart hammered in her chest. "I'm so sorry. I tried to stop them, but—"

Luke leaned forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't get yourself worked up right now," he said. "I'm going to go let the doctor know that you're awake."

He stood swiftly and left the room. It wasn't even a minute before a man walked into the room, his face angled down as he read over a clipboard. He looked up and smiled kindly at her, introducing himself as a good friend of Dr. Herondale. He asked her questions like how she was feeling followed by some questions that she knew were designed to test her cognitive ability. He took her vitals and ran some other quick tests before really diving into things.

She stared at him as he filled her in on her condition. He started by telling her that she had been drugged, which she already knew, but she didn't recognize the name of the drug. She had been out for a little over 12 hours, but her vitals were looking good. He expected the only side effect she would experience was the pain in her head, but he was going to prescribe her something for that.

She waited patiently while he went through all this information, waiting for the news she _really_ cared about.

"And this shouldn't have an effect on your pregnancy," he finally said.

She let out a deep breath, placing her hand against her abdomen. "Does anyone else know?" she asked quietly.

His brow furrowed. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Did you tell Jace about any of that stuff?" she asked.

"Of course not," he said. "Doctor-patient confidentiality is something I take very seriously. The only people I have shared information with are nurses and your primary care physician."

"Oh," she said dumbly. She didn't know if she was relieved or not at that. She knew that she should be the one to tell Jace about the baby, but part of her couldn't help but feel that it would have just been easier if he found out through someone else.

The doctor scribbled something on his clipboard and looked at her again. "I'm going to go fill out some paperwork so we can get you out of here as soon as possible. If you need anything, don't be afraid to press the call button."

She gave him a quiet thanks. As soon as he left the room, Luke was walking back in with a phone pressed against his ear. He was nodding and giving responses of affirmation to whoever was on the other side.

"Yeah, she's right here," Luke said into the receiver, locking eyes with Clary.

He handed the phone to her, nodding his head toward the door, indicating he was going to step out. Clary took the object from him and held up to her ear, watching as Luke exited.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Clary?" Jace's voice came through the speaker. "I'm sorry I'm not there right now. I've been with the police all day and now the media is getting involved and I haven't had a chance to leave. But how are you doing? What did your doctor say?"

His words were rushed, his voice thick. Clary could tell even through the phone that he was barely hanging on by a thread. Something inside her broke at the sound of his voice. Before she could process her own emotions, a sob escaped from her throat.

"Don't apologize, Jace. I should be the one apologizing," she managed. "I'm the reason this happened. I—I was the one there and I didn't try hard enough and now CeeCee's missing and you're distraught and I can't do anything to fix it."

Just like Jace's, her words came out rushed together. She wasn't sure if he could even understand what she was saying by time she reached the end of her sentence.

"Clare, baby, please calm down. This is not your fault," he said, his voice gentle. "And you might think you can't do anything, but like you said, you _were_ the one there. There's a detective who will be there shortly to talk with you. Whatever information you can give him will help us find CeeCee, okay?"

"Okay," she sniffled. "I'm sorry for breaking down like that. I should be the one comforting you right now." She let out a humorless laugh.

"I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I'm the only one affected by all of this. I'm here for you as much as I know you're here for me," he said. "I have to go, but I love you, and I'll see you soon, okay?"

"I love you, too," she said quietly before the call ended.

She sat there, spinning the phone in her hands. She didn't know where Luke was, and without another person around, she didn't have anything to distract her from her racing thoughts. She couldn't stop thinking about the baby and how much more complicated it was going to be to tell Jace. What was she even supposed to say to him now? _Hey, I know your child is currently missing, but at least you have another one on the way_?

She was also afraid of breaking the news and having it stress Jace out even more. He had so much going on at the moment. Did she really want to add to that? Maybe she could just put it off until CeeCee was found and safely back home. But even she knew there was a possibility that wouldn't happen.

The thought of that turned her stomach, and she fought back the urge to vomit. That raised even more questions for her. If something terrible did happen and CeeCee didn't make it, would Jace resent her? Would he resent their child? Would he look at the life they made and only be able to think about the life he lost?

A knock on the doorframe drew her from her morbid thoughts, and she looked up to see Luke standing there with another man next to him. He was slightly older, his dark hair graying around his temples and light wrinkles around his green eyes.

"Miss Fray, this is Detective Blackthorn," Luke said. "He's here to talk to you about last night."

The man stepped forward, offering his hand to her. Clary took it, shaking it, as the man reiterated his identity.

"I'd like to ask you some questions about what you experienced last night," he stated. "To begin, could you please tell me what happened? And, please, spare no details. You never know what could become important later."

She told him everything, beginning with Jace leaving to his office building and ending with watching the two men walk out with CeeCee. Detective Blackthorn nodded along, jotting down notes every once in a while as she talked.

"Thank you, Miss Fray," he said once she finished. "Now, have you ever given your door code to another person? Even on accident?"

Her brow furrowed, and she frowned. "No. Never," she answered. "Why?"

Blackthorn glanced at Luke, who gave him a slight nod. "According to the system tracking, your code was the one used just before the attack."

She racked her brain, trying to thing of any way that could have happened, but she came up empty. "I—I don't know why. I swear I haven't given it to anyone."

"That's fine, Miss Fray. This just means we'll have to find out where the got the code from. You said there were two assailants?"

"Yeah. One was in CeeCee's room taking her while the other was lurking around and snuck up on me."

"Unfortunately, all the security cameras had been disabled, and we have no video of these two men. Do you remember what they look like?"

"I didn't get any real look at the one who snuck up on me, but I recognized the one who took CeeCee. I'd seen him around before. It was always in random places, and I caught him staring at me a few times. I thought it was just a coincidence or that I was being paranoid. But I guess this proves I was wrong about that."

Blackthorn scribbled down on his notepad. "That's very good information to know," he said. "Do you think you could describe what the man looked like?"

"I can do better than that," Clary said. "Do you have a pencil and paper?"

* * *

Clary and Luke rode back to the penthouse with Detective Blackthorn. Jace was standing in the foyer when they arrived, his hair a mess and his eyes rimmed red. The second he saw Clary, he took her in his arms, mumbling about how glad he was that she was okay and that he had been so terrified when they got home and couldn't wake her up. He held her tightly, running his hand over her hair and pressing her face to his chest. She squeezed him back as tightly as she could.

He broke away from her, his body going stiff, as the phone rang. He excused himself, running up the stairs to his office, a few officers following behind. Clary was left standing there, confused and feeling out of the loop.

"It has to do with CeeCee," Jordan said, stepping up next to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What do you mean?" she asked, turning her head to look at him.

He let out a sigh. "They're have been ransom calls. Whoever did this is looking for money and some experiment and research files."

"It's Valentine Morgenstern," Clary said, wrapping her arms around her abdomen.

"Jace's old employee? How do you know?"

"I recognized on of the kidnappers and was able to do a sketch. Luke recognized him immediately. We were going to fill everyone in once we got back here, but then…" She gestured to the stairs Jace had disappeared up.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath.

"Luke had a similar reaction." She glanced at the stairs once more. "I'm gonna go shower. Let Jace know if I'm not back by time he comes down again."

She went into her room and stripped out of the previous night's clothes, throwing them in a random corner. In the bathroom, she turned the shower's water up to the highest heat she could stand. She stepped under the spray, closing her eyes. The water was scalding, but she accepted it, wanting to wash away all the terrible things she was feeling.

She'd only had that brief moment of time earlier in the day to herself. She had been thankful for all the distractions she'd had, but now she just wanted the time to fully process everything. She took her time showering, letting her mind finally mull over everything that happened.

Tears leaked from her eyes as every overwhelming feeling hit her. The first feeling was of violation. They had been in what she had considered to be her home. They invaded a space that was special to her and committed a terrible act. Then they had drugged her, risking her own safety and that of her unborn child's.

The most overpowering feeling was the guilt, though. The violation alone she could probably handle. The guilt, however, was tearing her apart on the inside. She should have been able to stop them that night. They should have never been able to leave that building with CeeCee. On top of that, she couldn't help but think about how it all could have been avoided if she had just _said_ something about seeing Valentine on multiple occasions. Maybe they could have kept an eye on him and become aware of his plans before he followed through on them.

Eventually, she shut off the water, her skin tinged pink. She dried herself and wrapped a towel around her body before walking back into her room. Unsurprisingly, she found Jace sitting on her bed waiting for her. They existed in a companionable silence as Clary dressed and brushed through the knots in her hair.

When she was finished, she sat down next to him, taking his hand in hers and laying her head on his shoulder. He began rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb. She remained silent, knowing he had something to say and wanting to give him the time to speak first.

"They don't want me to give the ransom," he said. "They want to try to track Morgenstern first, but I don't think he's going to easily be found. The money and research isn't what I'm worried about anyway." He paused, and Clary squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue. "I don't care about the money or research. I mean, I guess on same base level I do. But I would literally give it all up if it meant having CeeCee back safe."

His voice cracked, and he turned, wrapping his arms around her middle and pressing his face to her breasts. She felt a wetness seeping through her shirt, and she gently ran her fingers through his hair.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered. "Everything's going to be okay. They'll find her."

As the words left her mouth, she couldn't help but think about the fact that they might not be true.

* * *

Early the next day, Jace received another call. After it, Clary couldn't help but think it was like a switch flipped in him. He did a complete 180 on her. He went from refusing to let go of her the night before to locking himself in his office and not talking to her. Any time she knocked on the door, there was no response. She was trying her best not to take it personally, thinking maybe he just needed some time alone. However, she'd watched as Imogen, Luke, and Jordan had all been allowed to enter the office.

Clary had spent the day trying desperately to distract herself. She'd deep cleaned her room, rearranged her closet and drawers, and even spent time sketching. By the time evening rolled around, she was frustrated and on the verge of tears. While she'd try to keep her mind on other asks, nothing had really worked. She couldn't stop thinking about the little girl that was no longer right down the hall from her and the man who was quarantining himself away from her.

She threw down the sketchpad in her hands with a huff before standing from her bed. She took a deep breath and left her room, making a beeline for Jace's office. She knocked on the door with enough force to sting at her knuckles. It wasn't a surprise to her when there was no response. She pulled out the master key that Jace had given her one day and unlocked the door herself. She wasn't about to let him continue to hide away in this room from her anymore.

"What is going on with you today?" she demanded, slamming the door behind her.

Jace didn't even look up from his computer screen. "Did I invite you in here?" he asked, his voice monotone.

"No, you didn't. You've been _avoiding_ me all day, and I don't know why! What the hell happened on that phone call, Jace?"

"I would appreciate it if you didn't enter my office without my permission, Miss Fray."

She stopped cold, her heart dropping. She stared at him, trying to figure what had caused this sudden change in attitude. They hadn't spoken to each other since that morning, and even then they hadn't really talked about anything serious. She didn't know what she did or said that made him upset enough for him to revert to his "professional" side.

"Seriously, what is going on? I can't right whatever wrong I did if you don't _talk_ to me," she said, her voice rising in anger.

"It's not what you did. It's what you didn't do," he responded, his eyes still on the screen.

"I don't know what you mean." She threw her hands up in the air. "And could you at least fucking look at me while we have this discussion?"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, he finally fully turned his attention to her. "I tried not to get mad, but now that I've had more time to think about it, I can't help it. You saw Morgenstern _multiple_ times, and you never said a single thing about it!"

Clary's stomach clenched, and she swallowed hard. "I thought I was just being paranoid. I didn't think it meant anything."

"New York is a big place, Clary. Seeing the same person multiple times isn't just a coincidence. I don't understand how you could be so _stupid_!"

"I'm sorry, okay?" she cried out. "I fucked up. If I could go back, I would say something."

"Well you can't go back, can you?" He fixed her with a hard stare. "If anything happens to CeeCee, it's on you."

She swore that her heart stopped beating, his words seeming to echo throughout the silent room. She just stared at him for a moment as she tried to figure out if he really said what she thought he did.

"I can't believe you," she finally choked out. "Do you think I don't feel guilty enough? How could you say that to me?"

"How could you let this happen to my daughter?" he shot back.

"Fuck you, Jace," she spat before storming out.

She went straight to her room, pulled on a pair of shoes, and grabbed her car keys. She stalked toward the elevator, thankful that the living was room was empty. Luke and Jordan weren't around to interfere.

It was hard to breathe, and she felt trapped. All she knew was that she needed to get out. To get away. She couldn't stay in that building thinking about everywhere CeeCee should be and everywhere CeeCee wasn't. She couldn't stay there knowing that not only did she blame herself, but Jace was now blaming her, too.

After everything he said about being there for each other, she couldn't understand why he had suddenly changed his mind. Yes, he had learned about Valentine and her mistake, but he had learned that last night. Last night he didn't say anything or seem too upset by it. What had changed that morning?

Clary made a little over halfway to her own apartment before the tears blurred her vision so much that she had to pull over. Huge, gasping sobs wracked her body and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead to the steering wheel. It felt like the harder she tried to get herself back under control, the harder she cried.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there for before her phone began ringing. Her heart skipped a beat, and she rushed to answer it. Her voice was shaky, her throat scratchy.

"Where are you?" Jordan asked.

Disappointment flooded her at the sound his voice. It wasn't the voice she'd been hoping to hear.

"I'm on my way to my place," she said, her voice sounding hollow even to her own ears.

"What? Why?"

"Ask Jace." She shrugged even though he couldn't see her.

He cursed under his breath. "Listen, I don't know what he said or did, but just give him some time, okay? There's a lot going on right now."

"I _know_ there's a lot going on, Jordan. And I don't think this issue is one that giving him time is going to fix." She really wasn't in the mood to be discussing the situation with him. "I have to go. You know how to contact me if anything happens or changes."

She hung up before he could respond and started her drive again. She made it to her apartment without any other delays and went straight to bed. The night was spent tossing and turning, hoping that her phone would ring and the screen would light up with Jace's name.

* * *

A few days passed without her hearing a word from Jace or Jordan. She'd called Izzy the day after the blowout, and her best friend was on her doorstep within thirty minutes. Izzy had a general idea of what had happened but didn't know all the details. Clary took the time to tell her everything, only keeping her pregnancy a secret still. She didn't want to tell anyone until she managed to tell Jace.

Even though Izzy didn't know that one detail, she still knew how distraught Clary was over the situation with Jace. Clary had considered reaching out to him after giving him some time to cool down, and she voiced this Iz. Her friend shot that idea down, though, and said that Clary needed to wait for Jace to reach out to her. She said with the way things were left between them, it was on Jace to make the first move.

Clary had been ready to follow Izzy's advice. But then her first OB appointment happened. As she sat on that bed and listened to the heartbeat belonging to life growing inside of her, she knew she couldn't keep putting off telling Jace. He deserved to know about the life he helped create.

She also wasn't sure about how much longer her body could keep the secret. The doctor had told she was about eleven weeks, which meant she could start showing any day. Clary knew with her size, she would most likely end up blowing up like a balloon once she did start showing.

The sonogram photo stared up at her from the coffee table as she gripped her cellphone in her hand. Taking a deep breath, she brought up Jace's contact and hit call. Her kneed bounced up and down as the line rang. When the call rang through to voicemail, she was disappointed but not surprised.

Her voice shook slightly as she talked. "I know you're mad at me," she said, "but there's something I have to tell you, and I really rather not do it over the phone. So please call me back, and maybe we can make plans to meet up?"

She tried not to obsess, but she still found herself constantly checking her phone throughout the day. By the time she needed to start getting ready for work, there was still nothing from him. She tried to call him once more as she was on her way out the door. There was still no answer, and she left another message.

Clary spent a moment debating calling Jordan. The pregnancy wasn't the only reason she wanted to talk to Jace. The silence she'd received from everyone also meant she had no idea what was going on with the CeeCee situation. She didn't know how close they were to getting to Valentine or to bringing the little girl home. She ultimately decided not to call him, trying to have faith that if there was a big update, someone would let her know.

At work, she was a mess, though. Being at Pandemonium was supposed to be a distraction, but she just couldn't keep her mind on the tasks at hand. She kept messing up orders and forgetting tables. She had a feeling Bat was a few minutes away from just sending her home for the night.

The stares and looks of pity were also getting to her. She'd been working the past few nights to keep herself occupied, and she'd done pretty good at ignoring the looks people were giving her, but that night she just couldn't seem to. There were people that ran in the same circles as Jace, and they knew about CeeCee missing. Clary was sure that her increased presence in the bar was causing the rumor mill to run wild with theories.

Clary ended her shift and stepped outside. She took in her surroundings, being more cautious than ever with everything that had happened. As she scanned the area, she noticed a familiar car parked across the street. She walked toward the vehicle and tapped on the driver side window. The glass rolled down, revealing Jordan behind the wheel.

"You're not being very inconspicuous," she said. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Had some free time and thought I'd check on you."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You had some free time at three in the morning?"

Sighing, he ran a hand over his face. "I just wanted to check in, okay? How are you holding up?"

She leaned a shoulder against the car and looked down at her feet. "I'm doing the best I can. How's Jace?"

"Honestly? He's a fucking mess, which is to be expected. He's been going back to the office, I think to keep himself occupied. Seems you're doing the same."

She nodded, kicking at a pebble in the street. "I'm going to drive myself crazy if I just sit around thinking about everything." She paused for a moment. "Do you think you could Jace to call me? I have something I need to talk to him about, and he's completely ignoring me."

Jordan was quiet for a few seconds, and she looked up to see a conflicted look on his face.

"I can try," he finally said. "He's just—There's a lot you don't know, and I'm going to ask you again to give him some time. There's things he needs to figure out."

She let out a groan and threw her head back. "This is fucking ridiculous Jordan. What is going on? What the hell happened for this sudden change him? I didn't think Jace would _ever_ just cut me out of his life like this, and you're telling me to 'give him time'? The things he said—He should be the one running after me but here I am trying to get his attention."

"I know, Clary. Everything is real fucked up right now. But I'm telling you this as _your_ friend. Not as Jace's employee or friend but _yours_. Just have some faith in him, okay? Trust me on this."

She rolled her eyes but conceded. "Alright. But I'm serious Jordan. I _need_ to talk to him. You're saying there's shit I don't know, but there's also shit he doesn't know that he needs to."

"I'll try, Clary. I can't promise anything, though."

"Okay," she breathed out. "I need to get home. I'll see you… Whenever I guess."

"I'll try to stay in touch," he said. "Be safe, okay?"

She gave him a nod before walking off in the direction of her care. She made her way home and tried Jace one more time. It was the middle of the night, and she wasn't expecting him to answer but thought she'd give it a shot anyway. She left another message and plugged her phone in on her nightstand, making sure the volume was up.

After getting changed and brushing her teeth, she popped a few Benadryl. The allergy medicine had always managed to make her drowsy, and she knew her racing thoughts wouldn't allow her to sleep without it.

She was pulled from her dreamless sleep by a loud pounding on her door. She clambered out of her bed and stumbled to the door in a still half-asleep haze. Pulling the door open, any remnants of sleep left her as her eyes fell on Detect Blackthorn in the doorway.

"Miss Fray," he said, "sorry to wake you up. May I come in?"

"Y-Yeah of course," she stuttered, opening the door farther to let him in.

He stepped into the apartment, his eyes quickly flashing around the room. She offered him something to drink, trying to ignore the pounding in her chest and the knots in her stomach. He politely declined, explaining that he wasn't going to take long.

"As someone involved in the Herondale case, I wanted to inform you that early this morning, we managed to get Valentine Morgenstern in custody," he stated.

Clary stared at him, her eyes wide. "And CeeCee?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"We found her safe and alive. That's all I am allowed to share. You'll have to contact her family for any more details."

"I—Thank you. Thank you for letting me know. I really appreciate it."

They said their goodbyes, and as soon as the door was closed behind him, Clary went into her room and grabbed her cellphone. There were no missed calls or messages, and something burned in her at that discovery. _Someone_ should have reached out to her once CeeCee was found. She should have been given an update, even if it was a quick text.

She dialed Jace's number, getting even more upset when it went to voicemail after one ring. "Detective Blackthorn was just here," she started her message, sounding more sure of herself than she had in days. "I know that CeeCee's safe and that Morgenstern is in custody. If you don't call me back, I'm just showing up, Jace. I swear to God."


	19. Chapter 18

Clary decided to give Jace until six that night to respond to her. It was plenty of time for him to see her message and call back. She just had to find a way to pass the time until then. While her body was absolutely exhausted, her mind wouldn't calm down enough for her to sleep.

She spent time switching through TV news channels and reading through news and gossip sites online. She couldn't find a single thing about CeeCee being found or Valentine being arrested anywhere. When she'd gone missing, it'd been a huge story. Why was there silence about her rescue?

Right before six, Clary called Jace once more. When she was sent to voicemail after the first ring, she sent him a quick text informing him that she was on her way over. She had no idea what she was going to say to him when she did show up, and she spent her drive over trying to plan it out. She wanted to yell and scream at him but figured that wasn't the best path to take. Yelling and fighting wouldn't get her anywhere.

As she pulled into the parking garage, she still was unsure about what to say. She knew that she was going to ask about CeeCee and tell him about the pregnancy. She just didn't know how to start either of those conversations.

She walked toward the elevator on shaking legs, anxiety and adrenaline running through her at the prospect of a confrontation. When she entered her code, she was met with a buzzing noise signaling that it was not an acceptable access code. Had he really locked her out of the apartment?

She repeatedly pressed the call button to the penthouse knowing they couldn't ignore the annoying ringing forever. It didn't take long for her to hear the sound of the elevator running and approaching the garage. She took a step back as the doors slid open to reveal a nervous looking Jordan.

He stepped out and stood in front of her. "You need to leave, Clary," he said, his eyes shifting around the garage.

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Really? He's not even going to come down and talk to me? He's going to send you instead?"

He sighed, running a hand over his face. "You don't understand—"

"No, I don't understand!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air. "And nobody is trying to help me understand. I'm left in the dark knowing nothing. Blackthorn stopped by this morning and told me about CeeCee. None of you could be bothered to, apparently."

"Clary, you really need to leave," he said again.

"If he wants me to leave, he can come down here and tell me himself," she stated, squaring her shoulders.

"Clary—"

"I can wait here all night, Jordan. And I will. I'm _tired_ of the shit he's pulling. He can't just keep avoiding me."

With a sigh, he pulled out his phone and pressed a button before holding it to his ear. He turned his head away from her and spoke quietly into the receiver. He hung up only seconds later.

"He's on his way down," Jordan said, "but I really think you should just leave before then."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're being awfully ominous right now, Jordan. What the hell is going on?"

"It's just a high-stress situation, and I don't think he's in the best mindset right now."

"His 'mindset' is no excuse for—"

She stopped her sentence as the elevator arrived once again, and Jace stepped out. Clary was taken aback by his appearance. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was even more of a mess than usual. There was a light stubble along his jaw, and his face somehow even looked a little thinner, which wasn't something she thought would be possible within less than a week.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, sounding exhausted.

She was pulled out of her internal appraisal of him and noticed that Jordan had stepped away to give them some semblance of privacy.

"What am I doing here? You have been avoiding and ignoring me for _days_ , and all you have to say is 'what are you doing here'?"

He shrugged, his eyes trained over her shoulder and his stance dismissive.

When she realized he wasn't going to say anything, she kept going. "Blackthorn told me they found CeeCee. Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me? No phone call, no text. Absolutely nothing! Nothing Is all I have been getting from you after that fight. And if you're mad at me over what happened, I get it. But what I don't get and what I can't get over is nobody keeping me in the loop with CeeCee. That's a level of petty I didn't think you would ever go to, Jace Herondale."

"Are you done?" His tone was bored. She didn't respond, and he followed with, "You need to leave."

"No," she said, stamping her foot lightly. "I'm not leaving until you actually talk to me. And I want to see her. I want to see that she's okay. I—I need that."

He folded his arms, his eyes still not on her. "She needs to be with just family for now."

Her eyes widened and her stomach twisted. "Are you saying after everything, _everything_ , that I'm _not_ her family? How am I not considered her family, Jace? You-You _promised_ me a future with you _and_ her."

"People break promises, Clare."

The use of her nickname stabbed at her. It wasn't Miss Fray. It wasn't Clarissa. It wasn't even just Clary. _Clare_. But he wasn't using it in a tender way.

"Please leave," he said. "I don't want to have to have you escorted out."

He turned toward the silver doors of the elevator, and she panicked. They weren't done. They couldn't be done. There was so much more she had to say.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out, cringing as soon as the words left her mouth. That was definitely not how she wanted to break the news.

She saw his shoulders tense, her words echoing through the garage. He didn't turn around, though. He didn't actually _do_ anything. When the elevator doors slid open, he went through them without another word.

Clary stood there dumbfounded, staring as the doors closed on his back. Did he really just leave her like that? Without even a word? After she finally told him the news? She'd been worried about a big blow up, but she had not at all been prepared for no reaction at all.

She didn't understand how he could do that. The Jace she knew would never in a million years have just walked away. She didn't know why he was behaving the way he was. Was this the real him, and she just didn't know it? Or was Jordan right and there were just things she didn't understand? Either way, walking away like that was not acceptable.

With a frustrated scream, she tore the ring off her finger and thew it at the ground, the metal clinking against the cement as it bounced. Her car keys soon followed, also accompanied by a scream.

"What are you doing?" Jordan asked, suddenly standing next to her.

"I don't want it!" she yelled, a sob escaping from deep within her. "I don't want anything he's given me. I don't want anything he's touched. I don't want _anything_ associated with him!" She ran her the backs of her hands over her cheeks, removing the tears.

"You should have left when I told you to," he said quietly.

"Now this is my fault?" she seethed. "I'm not the one being a complete fucking asshole! And don't think I'm not mad at you, too. _You_ could have told me about CeeCee."

"Jace told us not to. I don't think he knew the detectives were going to inform you."

She shoved a hand through her, roughly pulling at the knots her hand got caught on. "This is so ridiculous," she muttered. "I'm done. I'm done with all of this right now. If Jace ever decides to pull his head out of his ass, he knows how to contact me." She wasn't going to keep chasing after him. She didn't have the energy to keep doing it. He now knew what he needed to, and the ball was in his court. "I need to go get ready for work."

"Aren't you going to grab your keys?"

She shook her head. "I told you I don't want anything that he's given me. I've got the subway. I'll be fine."

"Do you think that's such a good idea with everything that's happened?"

Jordan sounded uncharacteristically nervous as he said that, but she chose to ignore it.

"They've got Valentine. I'm sure it won't take them long to find his partner. I'll talk to you later. That is if Jace doesn't give you orders not to speak to me at all."

* * *

Clary didn't go to work like she told Jordan she would. She didn't even take the subway. She called a cab and went straight home, where she proceeded to call in sick to work, claiming she had some kind of stomach bug. Bat didn't question it and told her to go ahead and take the next few days off just to make sure she was completely better before returning to work.

As soon as she hung up the phone, she turned it off and let herself fully break down. She curled up on her bed, a gut wrenching sob tearing its way through her throat. She pressed her face against her pillow in an attempt to muffle the noise.

She couldn't _believe_ him. He just walked away. She was pregnant with his child, and he didn't even react. He didn't even _look_ at her. How could he do that to her? He'd fucked up in the past, but this went far beyond him just making a mistake. This was him being cruel.

What did his non-reaction even mean? If they didn't make it through whatever was going on between them, what was going to happen? Was she going to be completely on her own with their child, the only interaction between Jace and her being monthly child support payments? Were they going to try to co-parent? Or was he going to try to take full custody?

Her mind was spiraling, and she couldn't get the last scenario out of it. What if she went through everything—pregnancy, childbirth, etc—only for Jace to decide to take her child away from her? If he truly blamed her for what happened to CeeCee, then he could easily think she wouldn't be fit to be a mother. He'd have courts on his side—he had the money and resources to provide things she never could.

She hugged her knees tightly to her chest, trying to quell the anxiety tearing its way through her. She pressed her face harder into the pillow, the material quickly becoming soaked. Loud sobs continued to wrack through her body, but they eventually calmed down, and she eventually drifted off to sleep.

Her body ached the next morning from the position she had fallen asleep in, and there was a pounding in her head from all the crying. Walking into the bathroom, she cringed at the sight of herself in the mirror. Her face was splotchy, eyes rimmed red. She looked like complete and utter shit.

With a sigh, she turned the shower on, making sure the water was hot enough, and stripped out of her clothes. She stood under the spray for awhile, letting the water stream down her face. She took her time in the shower, the hot water working to ease the soreness in her muscles.

Once the water began to run cold, she got out and redressed. She glanced at her phone on the nightstand. It was still shut off, and she planned to leave it that way. She didn't think Jace was going to be reaching out any time soon, and she didn't want to deal with whatever other calls or messages she might receive.

She found herself back on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal and mindlessly flipping through channels. She'd pause on a news channel every now and again, wondering if any information about CeeCee had been leaked yet. There still seemed to be no coverage on her, though.

The next few days followed the same pattern. She wallowed around her apartment, usually planted on the couch and watching television. Every once and awhile she'd watch the news and gossip shows for a bit. Her appetite was non-existent, and she was forcing herself to eat because she wasn't the only one she was in charge of nurturing at that point.

She was halfway through an episode of _The Price is Right_ on the fourth day when a loud knock came from her door. She stilled, a spoon of oatmeal a few inches away from her mouth. Her heart thudded in her chest, even though her mind was telling her not to get her hopes up. It wasn't going to be _him_ at the door. She quickly set her spoon back in the bowl and placed both items on the coffee table before standing.

On shaky legs, she walked to the door. She took a deep breath before looking through the peep hole, her shoulders immediately sagging when she saw who was standing there. It definitely was not Jace.

There was another loud knock, and she let out a sigh before opening the door.

"Hey, Iz," she answered, trying to force some sort of peppiness into her voice.

"Don't _Hey, Iz_ me," her friend hissed, pushing her way into the apartment. "I stopped by Pandemonium the other night, but Bat told me you called in sick. But you've just been completely MIA. I've tried calling you for _days_ only to be sent straight to voicemail every time."

"My phone's off," Clary said quietly.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock. I deduced that on my own. What the hell is going on? That's not like you." Her eyes scanned over the apartment. "And it's a mess in here." She glanced at Clary. "And you look like you haven't showered in a month." Her voice got softer, whatever anger she had initially felt toward Clary melting away into concern. "Are you okay?"

All it took was those three words to make Clary break down all over again. Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head, a hand covering her mouth to stifle whatever sounds tried to escape. Izzy wrapped an arm around Clary's shoulders and walked her to sit back down on the couch.

"What's wrong, Clary?" she asked gently.

"I'm pregnant!" Clary cried out, burying her face in her hands.

Izzy was quiet for a moment, rubbing slow circles on Clary's back. "Okay. I can see how it's not ideal timing, but I thought that'd be something you would be happy about. You've always wanted kids."

"I'm pregnant and Jace won't talk to me and I can't see CeeCee and I'm all alone and he's going to take it from me and—" she continued to babble, her words becoming unintelligible as she began to cry harder.

"I'm going to need you to calm down and explain to me what the hell you mean," Izzy responded.

Clary took a few deep, calming breaths and got herself back under control. Clary explained that she hadn't listened to her friend's advice; she reached out to Jace first. She walked Izzy through her confrontation with Jace the other day and detailed the thoughts had been plaguing her since.

"He walked away? Without a word?" Izzy asked once Clary had finished.

Clary nodded, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. "He couldn't even look at me, Iz. What does that mean?"

She felt Izzy move and stand up. "It means I'm going to kill him. That fucking bastard."

Clary lowered her hands and looked up at her best friend. "Please don't get involved. I don't want things to get worse, and I don't trust Jace not to blow it out of proportion if you say something to him."

"I'm not just going to let him treat you like this, Clary! It's ridiculous. I don't know what the hell he's thinking, but maybe kicking his ass will kick some sense into him."

"Iz, I'm begging you not to do anything. Everything's already so messed up, and I don't want to add any fuel to the fire." Clary's voiced cracked part way through her statement, and she felt a stinging at the back of her eyes once more.

Izzy looked at her for a few seconds before responding. "Alright, I won't bring it up to him _if_ you agree to stop this pity party bullshit. No more moping around. You are strong than this, Clary, and I know it. This isolating yourself and not taking care of yourself shit isn't going to fly, okay?"

Clary hesitated for too long, and Izzy spoke again.

"Let's be honest, Clary. You've been through worse than this, and you came out of it stronger than before. Life has dealt you some shitty cards, but that doesn't mean you should leave the table. So, you're going to get your ass up, clean up this apartment and yourself, and actually go do something with your day."

"But I—"

"No. You're not going to make any excuses. You're going to stop sulking around. You need to live a little, and now is the perfect time to do it because God knows once that baby comes you're going to be a little preoccupied."

* * *

Clary followed Izzy's instructions to a bare minimum. That day she had cleaned up her tiny apartment, showered, and actually cooked herself meals throughout the day. Over the past couple of days, she'd worked on getting out of the house, and not just for work.

She'd met Izzy for coffee one afternoon, mainly so she could prove she was taking care of herself and leaving her apartment. She'd also walked around a few baby stores in her free time. She was trying to focus on the good things in her life, and, while her and Jace's future was unsure, she knew that the life growing inside of her was something she needed to be putting her attention on. She had begun to show, just barely, like she had happened to eat too much at a meal. Once that tiny bump became apparent, it was suddenly very real to her that she was actually going to be a mother soon, and she felt the need to start preparing.

While she was leaving her house and not being a pitiful mess, she still wasn't "living a little," as Izzy had put it. That's why that night, as she was standing next to Sebastian's usual table in Pandemonium, she found herself accepting an invitation to a birthday party he was throwing himself that upcoming weekend.

"Really? You'll come?" he asked.

Clary shrugged, hugging her tray close to her chest. "Yeah. Why are you so surprised?"

"I don't know, Cherry. I thought it might take some convincing to get you to agree."

"A few weeks ago, probably. But I'm trying to live a little, you know?"

"That's what I like to hear," he said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Here, put your number in so I can forward you all the information."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Are you just trying to get my number, Sebastian?" she asked, the corners of her mouth curving up slightly.

"I didn't think about that, but it would be the perfect ploy, wouldn't it?"

She handed the phone back to him, having added herself as a contact in it. "Now you have a plan to use in the future."

"I've never had an issue getting numbers, Cherry, but I'll keep it in mind."

"Glad to hear it," she said. "I've gotta get back to work, but I'll hear from you, yeah?"

She was proud of herself for mixing things up. After everything with Raphael had gone down, she'd never given herself the chance to just _enjoy_ herself. While things weren't great, she was still in a better place than she had been back then. Izzy was right: she needed to stop moping around. She was better than that. Getting out of the apartment and accepting Sebastian's invitation were just the beginning.

* * *

Clary closed her laptop with a sigh, glancing at the papers strewn all over her table. They were listings for small houses and two bedroom apartments, and she had been online trying to figure out her finances. She had recently come to the conclusion that she might just need to get out of New York, at least out of the city. If things with Jace didn't get resolved, she was going to need a fresh start. It was a huge city, but it felt so small at the same time, and she didn't want to put so much effort into avoiding both Jace and Raphael.

She glanced at the clock and ran a hand over her face. If she didn't get a move on, she was going to be late to Sebastian's party. She took a short shower, making quick work of washing her body and hair. Knowing it would take to long for her hair to airdry, she committed the time to blow drying it before dressing.

Izzy had taken Clary shopping the minute she learned about her plans to go to Sebastian's party, insisting that she needed a brand-new outfit for it. Clary had tried to argue, saying she wasn't trying to impress anyone and therefore didn't need new clothes. Izzy didn't budge, though, going off about how looking good on the outside helped one feel good on the inside. Thus, Clary did end up with an entire new outfit for the night.

She wiggled her hips as she pulled up the new pair of dark jeans. She then pulled on a silky green tank. Izzy had picked it out, making sure it was fitting enough to show off her curves but loose enough to not to be tight on her abdomen. She slipped her feet into a pair of strappy black heels—also Izzy's picking. The last thing to do was swipe on some mascara and lipstick, and she was all good to go.

After hailing a cab, it didn't take that long before she pulled up outside of a country club. There were bouncers waiting at the doors, and she was escorted out to a patio by an usher after giving her name. The patio was tastefully decorated. Fairy lights and bulb-lit lanterns casted a soft glow over the entire area. Wooden tables were set up, their surfaces left bare of any tablecloths, and an open bar was set up in a corner. Dance music played over hidden speakers.

Sebastian found her right away, slinging an arm over her shoulders. "Cherry!" he yelled, clearly already well on his way to a good time. "You showed! Let's go get you a drink."

He pulled her over to the bar before she could protest. When the bartender gave her an expectant look, she stuttered her way through ordering just a Sprite.

"No alcohol?" Sebastian scoffed. "What are you? Pregnant?"

She couldn't compose herself fast enough, and Sebastian must have noticed whatever look crossed her face. His arm fell from her shoulders, and he gaped at her.

"No way! With Herondale?" His voice wasn't quiet.

"Shush!" She placed a hand over his mouth. "I'm not ready for everyone to know,"

"Well, isn't that an interesting little tidbit of information," a new voice said.

Clary froze, her hand falling from Sebastian's mouth.

"Raphael!" Sebastian was apparently going to be yelling everyone's name that night. "You're here!"

"Of course, man. Wouldn't miss your birthday. I'm especially glad that I came, now. Tonight is already off to an interesting start."

Clary still didn't turn around, instead staring at the bottles of alcohol lining the shelf behind the bartender. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. She had been so focused on following Izzy's words, that she hadn't even thought to ask about who else had been invited. Was Jace going to show up next? She didn't think he would. He had CeeCee to take care, but at that point it wouldn't have really surprised her.

"Aren't you going to say hello, Clarissa?" Raphael taunted.

She straightened her shoulders and faced him. "Nice to see you as always," she forced out. "I'm gonna let you two catch up." She walked away before either of them could say a thing.

She took a drink of her Sprite, wishing it was something stronger. Part of her wanted to leave already, but she hadn't even been there for ten minutes yet. Another part of her didn't want Raphael to know he had any sort of control over her anymore. He _shouldn't_ have any control over her. Her body wasn't on the same page as her mind, though, and she felt the familiar panic growing in her chest.

She buried the panic down as far as she could and set out to enjoy the evening. She spent some time walking around and mingling with other guests, mostly sticking to chatting with those she recognized from Pandemonium. She managed to do a good job at staying clear of Raphael for a while.

It was an hour or so later when Sebastian roped her into a conversation with himself and Raphael. Clary didn't want to be rude to Sebastian on his birthday, so she endured it. Plus, having him as a buffer there made it easier to deal with.

Sebastian was interrupted halfway through a sentence as a security guard approached and whispered something in his ear. Sebastian's body went rigid, and confusion crossed his features.

"I'll be right back," he said, moving to leave.

"What's going on?" Clary asked, hoping she could use whatever it was to also step away. She didn't want to be left alone with Raphael at all.

"I'm not sure, but the police are here for some reason. If you'll excuse me."

Clary watched him walk across the patio, her head cocked to the side. The cops? The part was relatively chill, and she had no idea why they would be there. She was about to follow the path that Sebastian took when an arm wrapped around her neck and her back was pulled against another body.

"Don't draw any attention," Raphael whispered into her ear.

She felt something hard poke into her right side, and she looked down to see a glint of silver. Her mouth went dry and a heavy weight settled in her stomach. Was he holding a _gun_ against her? He started to pull her backwards.

"Raphael, what—"

She was cut off as someone else called out his name. Her eyes snapped in the direction of the noise, and she saw a uniformed officer, gun drawn, staring right at them. Other officers trailed behind him, their weapons also out.

The crowd on the patio gasped, people moving out of the way while trying to keep their eyes on all the drama. She felt Raphael's hand move, and the gun was pressed into the side of her stomach instead of the side of her back. The officers' gazes moved the newly exposed gun.

"Drop the weapon!" the one in the front shouted as he took a step forward.

Raphael moved back again, his arm tightening around Clary's neck. Between the absolute terror running through her veins and his arm, Clary was struggling to get enough air into her lungs.

"Nobody move another inch if you want her to make it out of this!" Raphael called back, taking another step backwards.

The officer's stilled, and Clary felt her fear grow even more. What if they moved again, and Raphael followed through on his threat? She could die, but that wasn't the scariest scenario. What if he pulled that trigger, but she made it? She knew her baby wouldn't make it, and she didn't know if she could go through that again.

There was motion behind the officers, and familiar mop of blonde hair appeared. Based on some of the officers' reactions, she had a feeling that Jace was not supposed to be standing there with them.

"Clary!" he cried out, pure panic in his voice as his eyes connected with hers.

What was going on? Why was he there?

"Stay right where you are, Herondale!" Raphael demanded.

Hearing the malice in Raphael's tone suddenly made it all click. It was _Raphael_. He was the other person that night. He was the one who restrained her while Valentine took CeeCee. He was the elusive partner. The revelation just led to more questions in her mind—the loudest one being _why_?

Her gaze was still locked with Jace's, and she noticed as his eyes flicked somewhere next to her back. Before she could even wonder what that meant, a rustling noise came from the bushes next to here. Raphael's arm pulled across her neck as his body was pushed away from hers. The clattering of his gun onto the concrete of the patio rang in her ears as she pitched forward, falling to her hands and knees and gasping for air.

Officers rushed past her, and she blocked out the commotion behind her as the apprehended Raphael. Another set of feet approached as Jace all but ran to her. She saw his hand reach out to her as he got near, and she immediately flinched away.

"Don't touch me," she ground out.

"Clary—"

"No." She shook her head, staying in her position on the ground. She was partially afraid to move, but she also didn't want to look at him. She should be happy that he was there, that he seemed to care, but she couldn't get past her anger. He had been ignoring her, even after she told him about her pregnancy. Why did he suddenly care now?

A set of booted feet entered her line of vision.

"Hey, buddy, I need to check her out," an unfamiliar voice said. She tilted her head up slightly to see a paramedic standing there, gesturing for Jace to get out of the way.

The paramedic helped her up and guided her out front to the back of an ambulance. She sat down, her feet dangling over the parking lot's asphalt. She took notice of reporters and news vans showing up. Police cars already lined the streets, their lights twirling. Party guests milled about, some getting into their cars and leaving, others hanging back to see if anything else exciting was going to unfold.

The paramedic took her vitals and began asking her questions that she knew were to test whether or not she had gone into shock. She didn't think she was in shock. She just felt numb, like whatever had just happened had not actually happened to her.

He moved on to asking her questions about her medical history and her current health status. Upon learning that she was pregnant, he said he wanted to take her in just to run a few tests. She readily agreed to that. Jace was lurking around close by, and she knew it would be too difficult for him to follow the ambulance with all the press and emergency vehicles around, and she wasn't ready to face him yet.

* * *

Clary took a cab home from the hospital, where she had been given a clean bill of physical health. A groan nearly escaped her as she noticed a figure sitting against the wall next to her door.

"What are you doing here, Jace," she asked, her voice monotone, as she stepped over his legs to get to her door. She tried to ignore how absolutely terrible he looked. The bags under his eyes could have rivaled hers and his usually sun kissed skin was pale.

He scrambled up off the floor. "We need to talk, Clare," he said.

She unlocked her door but didn't open it. "Not right now, Jace."

"Yes, right now. There are some things you need to know."

"I'm sure there are. But I'm exhausted and not in the mood for any sort of talk."

"It's important," he pressed.

She turned and shot an icy glare at him. "You have had plenty of time to talk to me, Jace. But you haven't. Instead, you chose to ignore me and avoid me. So while you might want to talk, whatever talking we do will happen on my terms."

"You don't understand, Clary."

"I'll tell you what I do understand. I understand that I told you I was pregnant, and you didn't even bat an eye. You didn't react at all. And I gave you time to process it. I gave you time to reach out. I gave you time to talk to me. And you didn't. It was nothing but silence from you. It's been a long and, let's be honest, traumatizing night. So excuse me for not dropping literally everything because you suddenly want to talk."

His jaw ticked as he stared at her for a few moments. "Will you be ready to talk tomorrow?" he finally asked.

She sighed, her hand tightening on her door handle. "I don't know, Jace. I just want to go to bed, okay?" She turned the handle and pushed her door open slightly.

"What do you want, Clare? What will make you talk to me sooner rather than later?" he asked, his eyes pleading.

Clary stared into his eyes, her face serious and tone conveying she meant business as she said, "I want to see CeeCee, and I want to see her _before_ we even attempt a conversation."


	20. Chapter 19

Clary nervously played with the material of her thin scarf as she rode in the car with Jordan. She was excited to see CeeCee, to see with her own eyes that little girl really was okay. But seeing CeeCee meant a talk with Jace would follow, and that was gnawing at her. It was funny, she thought. She had spent so much time wishing he would talk to her, and not that he finally wanted to, she had the urge to shut him out.

"I know it's none of my business," Jordan said, breaking the silence. "but I really believe you should hear him out."

She glanced sideways at him. Was he able to read her thoughts?

"You're right. It _is_ none of your business," she snapped at him.

He sighed. "I'm not saying I agree with the way he went about things, but I am saying that I understand. Let him explain himself."

"I'm not talking about this with you, Jordan," she said with a huff.

She was still mad at him, too. There were secrets being kept—that much she knew. Jordan had helped keep those secrets, and for that he was also on her shit list at the moment. The rational part of her knew that whatever information he did keep was because of his job. The rest of her couldn't help but feel betrayed by him, though.

The car ride went back to being silent. She stared out the window and sat up a little straighter as they approached Jace's building. There was a crowd of reporters standing outside the parking garage. Clary knew there would be some—it was the reason Jordan was driving her instead of her taking a cab. With Raphael apprehended, it was finally released that CeeCee had been found and was safely at home. It was a breaking story across gossip and mainstream media sources. The scandal of Raphael being involved made it an even bigger interest to the public. She still hadn't expected there to be as many reporters as there were.

Jordan drove into the garage and easily parked before exiting the vehicle. Clary opened her door, glancing in the direction of the reporters.

"Don't worry," Jordan said. "They can't come in here without being considered trespassing. It's not a public garage. They're just hoping to see something or catch Jace in case he, for some reason, walked out of here instead of driving. There's a few lurking around the front door, too."

Clary nodded, stepping out and closing her door. She followed him to the elevator and up the penthouse.

Jordan turned to her, his hands shoved into his pockets. "Jace decided to make himself scarce. CeeCee's in her room. You can go talk to her and then find Jace whenever you're ready. I'll be around if you need anything."

He had barely finished his sentence before she took off down the hall. CeeCee's door was slightly open, and Clary paused in the doorway. The little girl was laying on the floor on her stomach, a coloring book open in front of her. She was moving a crayon over the page, and her feet were swinging behind her.

Clary felt tears prick at the back of her eyes. Unlike every other time recently, this time was because of pure relief and joy. She really was okay. She was there. She was alive. And she was safe. Clary blinked away the tears before making her presence known by lightly tapping on the wood of the door.

CeeCee's head snapped up, and a grin immediately appeared on her face. "Miss Clary!" she yelled, jumping up and running to her. She threw her arms around Clary's legs. "Daddy said you were coming today!"

"Hey, baby girl," Clary choked out, the tears back in full force now.

CeeCee looked up, hearing the thickness of Clary's voice. "Why are you crying?" she asked.

Clary kneeled down, taking CeeCee into a real hug. "I'm just so happy to see you, sweetheart."

She stayed with CeeCee for a few hours, coloring and talking. Clary kept the conversation light, only asking about what CeeCee had been doing for the past few days and what she wanted to do with the rest of her summer. She stayed as far away from her time with Valentine as possible.

When CeeCee started to yawn every few minutes, Clary figured it was time for her to take a nap. She helped tuck the little girl in and sat on the edge of the bed, running her fingers through CeeCee's golden curls.

"Are you done with your vacation now?" CeeCee asked, her voice quiet and eyes closed.

Clary stilled her movements. A vacation must have been how Jace explained her absence to CeeCee. "I'm not sure," Clary responded.

CeeCee pouted, opening her eyes a little. "Please? I miss you."

Clary placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I miss you, too, sweet girl. I'll try to finish my vacation as soon as possible, okay? Now get some rest."

CeeCee closed her eyes again, burrowing her head into her pillow. Clary continued to sit on the bed until her breaths evened out and slowed down. Once she was sure CeeCee had fallen asleep, she carefully stood up and left the room.

She paused outside the room for a moment, her forehead pressed against the wood of the door. She didn't know if she could stand things not working out with Jace. Yes, she loved him, and still did even after everything. She didn't know why. Love was funny like that, and she knew if they ended things it would destroy her heart. But she also loved CeeCee. She could maybe move on without Jace. It wouldn't be easy, but she believed she could do it. CeeCee was another story, though. She felt a strong motherly love toward her and didn't know how she would deal with losing her in her life.

Taking a calming breath, she pushed herself off the door. It was time to find Jace. As much as she didn't want to talk with him, all her speculation wasn't going to do any good if they didn't actually start to communicate with each other.

She began to walk down the hallway but stopped at her old room. In her rush to see CeeCee earlier, she hadn't noticed the door was ajar. Curious about what Jace had done with her space, she gently pushed the door open all the way. She was surprised to see that most of her things seemed to be where she had last left them. There were still sketchbooks on the nightstand, some of her clothes still hung over the back of a chair, and all her knickknacks sat on the dresser.

However, she noticed a few of Jace's things now present. His laptop sat on the bed, which was a mess of tangled sheets and a rumpled comforter. A few pieces of his clothing had taken up residence on the floor and there was a whiskey tumbler and glass next to her sketchbooks.

"Hey," a voice said from behind her.

She whirled around, a hand clutching her chest. "Jesus Christ, Jace. You scared the shit out of me."

He was leaning on the wall on the opposite side of the hallway from her. "Sorry," he said softly. "I was trying to give you space, but I needed to put CeeCee down for a nap. I'm guessing you already did that?"

"Yeah," she said, her eyes flickering back to her old room.

"I've, uh, been sleeping in there recently," he explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

She nodded her head once. "To be closer to CeeCee."

"Something like that." His voice was quiet, just barely audible. He cleared his throat and spoke a little louder. "Do you—Are you ready to talk?"

Clary had to stifle a smile. She'd never seen Jace seem so unsure of himself, and it was slightly endearing. But there was a reason he was unsure of himself—he'd fucked up big time. That was what she needed to focus on.

"Yes, but not here," she said, regaining her composure. "I don't want to risk CeeCee overhearing anything."

"Your place then? I'll have to call her grandparents and see if they can watch her for a bit."

"Of course," she responded. "I'm going to head out. Just come over whenever you get the chance, I guess."

"I'll walk you out," he offered. "Jordan's waiting by the car."

"Okay," she said lamely. Everything felt so awkward, forced and stunted, and she hoped that their real conversation would go better than this little hallway talk.

They started to walk toward the elevator, and Jace placed his hand on the small of her back. She tensed under his touch, and he immediately withdrew his hand, muttering an apology. When the metal doors slid open, she was surprised that he stepped in with her.

"You don't have to ride down with me," she said, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her shorts.

"I want to." He rocked back on his heels and pressed the button for the ground floor.

They rode in awkward silence, Clary staring down at her shoes despite feeling Jace's gaze burn into her skin. She fought the urge to meet his eyes and was thankful when they finally reached the garage.

"So, I'll stop by once I have CeeCee all figured out?" Jace said as she started to leave.

"Um, yeah," she replied. "Sounds good."

He gave her a small smile, something glimmering in his eyes, before she turned at walked to where Jordan was leaning against the car.

Jordan looked over her shoulder as she approached, his eyes on Jace.

"I'm going to say it again. Hear him out," he said before opening the driver's door and climbing in.

* * *

It was only an hour and a half later that Clary got a knock on her door. She had spent that time anxiously deep cleaning her kitchen and bathroom. She couldn't just sit idly while she waited for Jace—she had way too much energy.

As soon as the knock sounded, she took the pair of yellow cleaning gloves she was wearing off and threw them under the sink. She yanked the elastic tie out of her hair and quickly ran her hands through her curls before opening the door.

Jace was standing in the hallway, his hands hidden in his jean pockets. He looked up from the ground as she opened the door and gave her a tentative smile.

"Hi," was all he said.

"Hi, come in," she said, stepping out of the way to let him through. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Water would be great," he responded, walking further into her home.

She stiffly walked into the kitchen and pulled down a glass, filling it with water. She was ready to crawl out of her skin. She wasn't used to having people over. Izzy was usually the only one who came by, and she wasn't sure how to be a host. But this was also _Jace_. It shouldn't be uncomfortable and awkward for her, but it was, and she hated that.

She brought the glass to Jace, who was looking at the papers scattered around her laptop. He took the water from her, the corners of his mouth turned down and his brow furrowed.

"You're moving?" he asked, something like panic in his voice.

She shrugged. "Thinking about it," she said. She left out the _I was_ knowing Jace would think she meant _I am_. After seeing CeeCee again and being back around Jace, she knew there was no way she could actually leave New York. Jace didn't need to know that, though.

"Oh," he muttered. "Should we sit or?"

"Yeah, right here is fine," she said, gesturing to the table. She didn't want to sit somewhere too comfortable or close together, like the couch. The table gave them the perfect amount of space from each other.

They sat down on opposite sides, and Clary looked at Jace expectantly. Right now, everything was on him. He ran a hand through his hair and took a drink of water before starting.

"I just—Fuck, Clare. I am so sorry," he said. "You have no idea. I didn't want to do any of this, and it _killed_ me inside, but I had to. I've missed you so goddamn much, and I know you're mad, and I deserve it. I don't want to fight anymore, though, Clary. Just know that I didn't mean single fucking thing I said."

He reached across the table to touch her hand, but she snatched it away, placing both hands in her lap.

"Why did you do it then?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even. "Why did you say those things to me? Why did you tell me it was all my fault right after telling me to stop blaming myself?"

"I don't know, Clary. I really don't. All I know is that I had to get you to leave, and I knew saying that shit was the quickest way to do it."

"You had to get me to _leave_?" She didn't even try to hide the hurt in her voice.

He sighed, pulling at his hair. "Shit. I'm not explaining this right. I got a phone call when I didn't give into the ransom demands right away." She nodded, remembering that call and how quickly his demeanor had changed after it. "Whoever it was, whether it was Raphael or Morgenstern, had added an extra threat. They—They said if I didn't start complying that other people I cared about would go missing. At first, I wasn't too worried. But right after they hung up, I got an email. All it contained was pictures of you. There had to be at least fifty. You at work, you out with CeeCee, you walking into your building. I had to get you to leave to _protect_ you, Clare. Even after Morgenstern was caught and I had CeeCee back, I still had no idea who his partner was and if that threat would still be carried out. Everything I did was to keep you safe."

"Unfuckingbelievable," she muttered, pushing back her chair and standing up. There was too much anger let loose inside her, and she couldn't continue sitting down. "That's your excuse? That you were protecting me? I don't need protecting, Jace!"

"They _threatened_ you, Clary," he responded, his own eyes blazing. "Was I supposed to just ignore that?"

"What you were supposed to do was tell me about it!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air.

"Why? So _you_ could ignore it and put yourself at risk? You can't tell me you would have actually left if I had told you about it," he said as he slowly stood himself.

His voice was stronger now, more commanding. Any sign of uncertainty of himself had vanished.

"Maybe, maybe not. But it should have been my choice." Her voice cracked, angry tears threatening to spill. "You chose for me and kept me in the dark, instead. You left me wondering why you had suddenly turned on me. Why you said those things. Why you were ignoring me. Why you _hated_ me."

Her heart was beating frantically in her chest, and every emotion she felt was overwhelming. She yanked off the scarf around her neck, feeling like she couldn't breathe. Jace's eyes narrowed when he saw the dark bruising, courtesy of Raphael, that had been revealed.

"He hurt you," he growled out.

"So did you!" she spat out.

He flinched at her words. "And I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am for that," he said, his voice a little softer now. "But this hasn't been easy for me either."

"Well you brought that upon yourself," she pointed out, her hands balling up at her sides. "You _chose_ how to handle it and had to face the consequences of that. I, however, did not get a choice and I had to suffer because of the choices of you made for me."

"I understand that I made a mistake, Clary. I wasn't thinking right with everything that was going on, and I made a rash decision. I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it a thousand more, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I left you in the dark. I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said. I'm sorry I walked away when you told me about the baby. If I had known I never would have done this."

"Oh, that's nice." She let out a humorless laugh. "If you had known I was pregnant you would have handled things differently. Well, I'm a person, Jace. And I'm supposedly a person you love. You should have treated me differently regardless of whether or not I'm carrying your child."

"That is not what I meant," he responded defensively. "If I had known how much it would hurt you, how much it would affect you, I wouldn't have done it."

"You shouldn't of had to know. If you had taken five fucking seconds to _think_ about it, you would have seen what a terrible goddamn idea it was."

"Gee, I'm sorry for not thinking properly. I really should have gotten it together while my daughter was taken by fucking psychopaths. My bad."

Clary took a deep breath, trying to calm herself and not lash out again at his sarcastic response.

"We aren't getting anywhere right now," she said, her tone even. "I—I think I need some time."

"What does that mean?" Jace asked, his own anger seeming to disappear.

"It means I need time. You just dumped a lot of information on me, and I need time to think about it. I'm too upset right now, and we're just feeding off of each other's negative emotions. This conversation isn't going to be productive."

"Okay. You're right," he breathed out. "How much time?"

"I don't know," she answered quietly, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Do you think you'll be able to forgive me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She refused to look at him as the words "I don't know" fell from her mouth again.

* * *

Clary spent the next few days making some life changes. Her first move was going to Pandemonium and putting in her notice. She had no interest in working there anymore. The money had been really good, but she was looking for something more stable. The money she did have saved up would be more than enough to tide her over until she got a new job. She was hoping for something that would have her working during the day, maybe a waitressing gig or something.

She also started to look for apartments in the city. She knew that she couldn't leave the city, but she also wanted something better than her current apartment. Something with more space. Something safer. Even if her and Jace did get back together, she wasn't about to move back in with him right away. She was still going to want her space until they found themselves on more solid ground.

While she was in the middle of scouring through help wanted ads, there was a knock on her door. She frowned, not having been expecting anyone. She held back a sigh when she looked through the peephole and saw Jordan standing on her doorstep, holding a box.

Clary opened the door, leaned on the frame, and crossed her arms as she looked at him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes at her hostility and lifted the box in his hands. "I'm dropping something off."

She eyed the cardboard box suspiciously. "It's not some sort of attempt at an apology gift, is it?"

"No," he said, moving to enter her apartment. She stepped out of the way and he walked in, placing the box down with a dull thud. "It's some of the stuff you left."

Her heart sank. Was he returning her stuff? She knew she asked for some time, but was he giving up already?

"Oh," was all she said.

"Don't jump to conclusions, Fray," Jordan said. "It's just some art stuff that he thought you might want."

She removed the lid from the box and peered inside. There were some of her sketchbooks, pencils, a few smaller canvases, and paints and brushes all neatly placed inside. A note in Jace's handwriting sat on top, but Clary decided she would wait until Jordan was gone to read it.

"Oh," she said again.

"I'm sorry about keeping things from you, too," Jordan suddenly said.

Clary turned her head toward him and quirked a brow.

"Like I've said before, I don't think Jace made the right choice, but he had his reasons. And as much as I value our friendship, he is my boss and I have certain loyalties toward him."

"I know," she replied softly. "It still sucks, you know?"

"I do know. But I also hope you'll forgive me. And I hope you forgive Jace because he's been absolute shit to be around."

Clary cocked her head to the side. "He did almost lose his daughter, Jordan. I'm not surprised."

He shook his head. "It's not just that, Clary." He paused, his eyes scanning the room real quick. "I shouldn't tell you this, but I guess as your friend I owe you some loyalty, too."

"You definitely do," she agreed.

"Jace has been an absolute mess with you gone. He was sleeping in your room even before CeeCee was back. He's also just been a total angry asshole. You should have seen him that day he made you leave. He was throwing shit and cussing and the apartment was a disaster. He hurt you, but he hurt himself, too. There's no excusing what he did, but I really hope you forgive him."

She shifted on her feet. "It's not that easy. It's going to take time for me to trust everyone again and get over this hurt."

"I understand that," he said, walking backwards toward the door. "But hopefully that time comes sooner rather than later. Call me if you ever want to talk, okay?"

"Yeah, of course," she said as he opened that door and walked out with a small salute.

Once the door was closed behind him, she hooked the deadbolt and returned to the box. She sat down cross-legged on the floor and pulled the note out.

 _Clare,_

 _I don't know if you needing time included space, so I decided to play it safe and send Jordan in my stead. I know you like to use art to help you process things, so I thought you might want all your supplies handy. Make something beautiful. You always do._

 _-Jace_

She folded up the note and tucked it into her pocket. She wasn't even going to try to deny the fact that Jace really did know her. Her art was definitely an outlet for her, and she really could use it with everything that was going on.

She rummaged through the box and took quick inventory of what was in it. It contained most of her supplies. There were a few sketchbooks missing, but that wasn't a big deal. The ones that weren't there were ones that she was pretty sure were full. They wouldn't be much use, and she could always get them from Jace later.

She pulled out one of the sketchbooks that was in the box along with a case full of graphite pencils. She planted herself on the couch, drawing her knees up and resting the pad on them. Before she touched the tip of a pencil to the paper, though, she set it back down and pulled her phone out.

If Jace was making an effort, she could at least make an effort in return. She typed out a quick message thanking him for the box and letting him know she really appreciated it. After hitting send, she shut off her phone and put it away. She didn't want the distraction while sketching.

She got started, her pencil moving over the paper's surface even though she didn't have anything in particular in mind. Lines and shading started to come together and form a clear image. She set her pencil down as she finished the drawing. Staring back at her was the face of a small child.

On his head was a messy pile of curls, looser ones like Jace's. She could imagine them being a strawberry blonde color. His face was a mix of her features and Jace's, and in her mind his large eyes were a beautiful hazel color. She knew without a doubt that the child she was looking at was meant to be hers and Jace's. Even though she didn't know the sex of her baby yet, she had a gut feeling that it was a boy.

Looking at what could very well be their child did weird things to her. She was going to be a _mom_. She was going to be completely responsible for this other life. This life that Jace helped create. This life that would benefit from having both parents around to love and nurture it.

Staring at that imaginary child's face made her _want_ to fix things with Jace. She wanted to give their child the type of life she didn't have—one with both parents. Sure, even if they didn't fix things, Jace would still be a part of the child's life, but that was completely different than having a solid family unit. She didn't want rotating visitations. She wanted a life with Jace and their child and CeeCee. She just flat out wanted _Jace_.

But as much as she wanted him, she couldn't let go of the hurt. He had lied to her and hidden things. Sure, he thought he had noble intentions with it, but that didn't take away the betrayal and hurt she felt. It was going to take a bit for her to forgive him, but in that moment, she didn't think avoiding him was helping anything. They needed to actually talk about things in order to begin working through them.

She set the drawing aside and turned her phone back on. She skimmed over Jace's reply to her thank you and sent out another message asking if they could meet up and talk. He responded almost immediately, and they made a plan to meet in a week.

* * *

Clary sat in a booth in Taki's, facing the door, a cup of decaf coffee clasped between her hands. She'd shown up a good hour before the time she and Jace agreed on, her nerves getting the best of her. She wanted some time to sit there and get her bearings before he showed up.

In front of her was a small pocket notebook. She'd spent the past week reflecting on everything she was feeling. She had jotted down somethings she wanted to talk about and questions she wanted to ask. She hadn't prepared at all for their last conversation, and she didn't want a repeat of talking in circles and not getting anywhere.

She looked up from the dark liquid between her hands when the bells above the door jingled. She watched as Jace sauntered in. He looked like hell, but she figured she probably didn't look much better. His eyes met hers, and a breathtaking smile took over his face.

"Hey," he greeted as he slid in across from her.

"Hi," she replied, taking a sip of her coffee. Jace raised a brow at the cup, and she quickly followed with, "It's decaf."

He nodded. "Have you ordered yet?"

"Just the coffee," she said, setting the cup back down.

"Are you hungry?" he asked as he opened a menu.

She shrugged. "I could eat." Her stomach rumbled the second the words were out, betraying just how hungry she actually was.

He smirked at her over the top of the menu. "You're eating for more than just you now, Clare," he said lightly.

The waitress came over at that point, ignoring Clary's presence and focusing solely on Jace. He ordered a large breakfast for himself and then ordered a spinach and tomato omelet with a side of turkey bacon and fruit for Clary.

She glared at him as the waitress flounced away, and he gave her a questioning look.

"I can order for myself," she bit out.

"I just wanted to—"

"Make more decisions for me?"

His face fell, and she immediately regretted the words. The time she spent reflecting obviously hadn't helped lessen the bitterness she felt.

"Shit, I'm sorry," she said softly. "Hormones, you know?"

He nodded mutely, his gaze off to the side.

She hated the dejected look on his face and decided to just be honest with him. "I'm trying, Jace. I really am." She reached across the table to grab his hand. His gaze snapped up to meet hers, obviously surprised that she initiated the physical contact. "There's just so much going on inside of me right now," she continued. A lot of feelings and thoughts and questions, and I have no idea how to express them or what to do with them and it just makes me want to lash out."

He gently squeezed her hand. "I understand, Clare." He let out a shaky breath, running his other hand through his hair. "Hell, I deserve it."

"I'm not sure I would say _that_ ," she responded.

His eyes scanned over the near-empty diner. "More information has come out, and, God, I feel even worse than I already did. Which I didn't even know was possible."

She cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"They've been interrogating Santiago and Morgenstern to piece together the whole story. Morgenstern had it out for me after I fired him, but he knew he couldn't come after me on his own. When word started to spread about everything going on between me and Santiago, he pounced, recruiting him in a way."

He stopped talking as their waitress returned at their meals down the table. Clary's stomach rumbled again as the scent of food filled her nostrils. She wasted no time digging in, shoving a forkful of omelet in her mouth.

"So Valentine and Raphael joined forces or whatever," she said after swallowing. What does that have to do with me?"

He swallowed his own bite of food, eating in a much more reserved manner than she was. "That's when Santiago set his sites on Kaelie. I can't deny it was a smart move. Weaseling his way into Kaelie's life would give him easier access to CeeCee, which he knew was the best way to get to me."

She nodded along, still not sure where she came into the story.

"Then that night when Kaelie left CeeCee alone happened," he said.

Clary paused, her fork halfway to her mouth. There it was.

"Fuck, Clare," he sighed. "You _saved_ her that night."

"I—What?" she asked dumbly, setting her utensil down.

His left knew bounced erratically. "It was all part of a ploy, Clary. Raphael convinced Kaelie to go out with him that night, to leave CeeCee alone," he explained, his voice thick. "Morgenstern was supposed to her grab her while she was unsupervised. That was their initial plan. If you hadn't ended up picking her up that night…"

A small "oh" escaped her lips as a bunch of if-nots filtered through her mind. If CeeCee hadn't gotten sick. If CeeCee hadn't called. If she hadn't actually gone to pick CeeCee up.

"Not only was I a complete asshole to you that night, but I made you feel responsible for the actual incident. If she had been taken that night, we wouldn't have had any leads/"

"But when she was taken from the apartment, we had something to go off of because I recognized Valentine," she filled in.

He nodded. "Exactly. It was a horrible thing that happened, one that's going to haunt me, but it could have been so much worse. I could have never gotten my little girl back."

She pushed the remaining good around on her plate, no longer hungry. All the new information was swimming around her brain. It had absolutely killed her appetite. All the questions and comments in her notebook also felt obsolete now.

"But I don't want to talk about that anymore," he said. "We came here to talk about us."

"No. I'm glad you shared that with me. I want to be in the loop," she replied. "So, thank you. And thanks for sending me the art stuff."

"Of course. I hope it's helped. Have you made anything yet?"

She bent over and pulled a folded piece of paper out of her bag. She handed the drawing to him, avoiding eye contact as he unfolded it. It was the one she had drawn that first day. She'd made more sketches over the past week, but she had felt pulled to share that one with him.

"This is amazing, Clare," he breathed after a brief silence. "Do—Do you know?" He flicked his eyes down and back up.

She shook her head. "No. But I have a gut feeling. Mother's intuition I guess."

He quietly cleared his throat. "When is your next appointment?"

"In a few weeks, I think."

"Would you mind if I went with you?" he asked, his gaze shifting between her eyes.

She didn't respond at first. Him going to the OB with her felt like it would be extremely intimate—more intimate than what they should be doing. She wasn't sure she was ready for that yet. On the other hand, he was also the father. Didn't that mean he should get to be part of the experience?

"Uh, sure," she finally said. "I'll send you the details."

He crumpled up his napkin and set it on his plate. "No matter what happens between us, whether we patch things up or not, I want to be a part of this," he said, his eyes holding hers.

"I know," she said. And she did. A week ago, she had been questioning it. She never should have, though. If anything, the way he was with CeeCee should have showed her that. He was nothing if not a dedicated and involved father. And even when Kaelie had done bad things, he hadn't completely kicked her out of CeeCee's life. Clary had no reason to think he would keep their child away from her.

"But I really do want to work things out," he added.

"I know," she repeated.

He sighed, resting his elbows on the table and leaning forward slightly. "You gotta help me out here, Clare. I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing to make things better."

"I don't know, Jace. This isn't something that you can just say sorry for and suddenly make everything okay. It's going to take time and you need to show me you're sorry through actions. Filling me in about the investigation is a good start. I need to be back in the loop. No more keeping anything from me."

"I'll work on it, Clary. I promise," he said. "CeeCee's been asking about you."

"She has?"

He nodded. "God, I never should have kept you from her. I didn't think about how much it would affect her, too. She really misses you."

"I miss her, too." She swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

"Do you want to maybe get together this week? We could take her to the park and have lunch or something."

"I would really like that," she said, a genuine smile spreading across her face.


	21. Chapter 20

CeeCee's giggles rang out over all the other noise in the park as Clary rhythmically pushed her on the swing. Clary smiled at the sound as her hands gently pushed on her back again. She quickly swept some hair out of her face before CeeCee's body swung back toward her. It was a beautiful day. The sun was glowing high in the sky, but a small breeze kept it from being too hot to be outside.

"Higher," CeeCee squealed.

Clary let out a small laugh but shook her head. "I think you're high enough, sweetie," she responded.

"Please?" Clary could picture the pout on CeeCee's face even though she couldn't see it.

"Clary said no," Jace said from a nearby bench. He had been content to just sit there and watch the two of them, his eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses and a small smile seemingly etched on his face.

"Okay," CeeCee said, a little whine her voice.

Clary continued to push her on the swing for a few more minutes before her arms started to get too tired. She left CeeCee to her own devices and walked over to sit next to Jace on the uncomfortable plastic bench. Leaning back, she gently rested a hand on her stomach. Even though she still wasn't showing much, she constantly felt the need to place her hands on the small bump that was there.

"I'm glad we could do this," Jace said softly.

"Me, too," she replied, keeping her eyes trained on CeeCee despite the fact that she could feel Jace's gaze on her.

"She just lights up around you," he said. "Makes me a little jealous."

Clary turned her head toward him at that, a scoff escaping her lips. "Please, Jace. She absolutely adores you. A true daddy's girl through and through."

"She adores you, too. You give her things that I can't, and as her dad I want to be able to be everything that she needs, but the time since I've gotten her back has proven that I'm not."

"You're a working dad. It's physically impossible for you to give her _everything_. But you're doing what you need to do to provide for her. That's what's important. She knows she's loved and that you're there for her. Sometimes other people have to be there for her, too. Trust me on this, Jace. As a child of a single parent, I'm pretty well-versed in this stuff."

His gaze flicked to the hand she had resting on her abdomen. "You're going to be a great mother, Clare."

She swallowed around the lump forming in her throat. "And you're already a great father. Don't go getting all insecure on me now that you've got another one on the way. My child should get to experience confident, cocky Jace, too." she added, trying to lighten the mood. The conversation felt too heavy to be having on a park bench.

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, and he turned his attention back to CeeCee. "When should we tell her?"

Clary shrugged. "It's ultimately up to you," she answered. "I would like to maybe wait until we know the sex, though."

"Why's that?"

"I know CeeCee really wants a sister, and if we just tell her she's getting a younger sibling she's going to be so excited about it being a girl, but—" She stopped talking, cutting herself off.

"But?" Jace prompted, looking at her again.

"Like I've said before, I just have this _feeling_ that it's a boy, you know?"

He shrugged. "I think she'll be happy either way, but if you want to wait until we can tell her whether it's a little brother or sister, we can do that."

"It's _going_ to be a boy," she stated.

He chuckled at that but didn't make a remark. They continued to sit there, moving on to talk about more inconsequential topics, while still paying close attention to CeeCee as she ran about the park. She eventually made her way over to them, complaining about being hungry.

They started their journey to a little bistro a few blocks away from the park. As usual, CeeCee walked a few steps ahead of Jace and Clary, where they could keep an eye on her. As they made their way down the sidewalk, Jace cautiously reached out and took Clary's hand in his. She glanced up at him, trying to ignore the tingling she felt at the simple touch.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

She gave a small nod, and he gently squeezed her hand in response, a radiant smile lighting up his face. Her heart ached knowing that something as small as holding hands could make him so happy. She knew their separation had been hard on him, too, but seeing evidence of it made her realize just how much.

They walked in a companionable silence until they reached the small bistro. The three of them were seated at a square table outside, an umbrella keeping the sun off them. Clary sat across from Jace with CeeCee on her right. Once they ordered, Clary began chatting with CeeCee.

The little girl talked animatedly about some of the kids she played with at the park. She talked about how she was excited to go back to school in the fall because one of them was actually going to be in her class. Clary kept her on the topic of school. Even though it was still a little while way, she thought it would be a good idea to keep CeeCee focused on something positive and in the future.

Their meals arrived, and Clary continued to talk with CeeCee as they ate. Every once in a while she would glance in Jace's direction. Just like at the park, he seemed content to just sit there and observe the two of them.

When they were all done eating, Clary took CeeCee into the bathroom to wash her hands and wipe off her face. She got the red stains from spaghetti sauce off with a wet paper towel, and they joined Jace again outside. This time, he didn't hesitate before linking his fingers with hers as they started their way back to his apartment.

Outside his building, Clary went to let go of his hand so she could make her own way home, but he held on.

"Come up?" he asked when she gave him a questioning look. "I'm going to put CeeCee down for a nap, and I was thinking we could talk."

Clary bit the inside of her cheek, unsure of what she wanted to do. She didn't know what he would want to talk about. They'd spent such a nice day together, and she didn't want that to be ruined in case whatever conservation they had went south. When she saw the hopeful glint in his eyes, though, she found herself nodding.

Upstairs, Jace went to put CeeCee down, but she quickly volunteered to do it for him. She helped CeeCee take off her shoes and got her all settled in bed. She picked out a story to read. After their big afternoon, though, it wasn't long before CeeCee's eyes closed and her breathing evened out. Clary sat there for a few moments, just watching her sleep, before leaving to look for Jace.

He was sitting in the living room, his legs slightly spread and his forearms resting on his thighs. His eyes were trained on the floor, but he looked up as he heard her approach.

"Hey," he said as she down next to him. "Did she go down okay?"

"Out like a light," Clary replied. "Just make sure she doesn't sleep too long or she might have a hard time going to bed tonight."

He nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Did you have a good time today?"

"Yeah," she said, stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing her ankles. "It was really nice."

"I'm glad." He pushed himself back into the couch and let out a sigh. "I don't want to push you for answers or anything, but you know me. I'm a planner, and there's so much uncertainty in our future right now and I need some general idea of what it might look like or I think I might go crazy."

Clary wanted to hit him with some retort about the state of limbo he had stuck her in, where she had no idea what was going on or where things were going, without the opportunity to ask questions. She bit back that response, though, taking a deep, calming breath instead. "Okay. What do you want to know?"

"The biggest thing, I guess, is if you're going to move and where. Because if you're moving, that—that closes a door on _us_ , but it also complicates a lot of other things because I want and am going to be a part of our child's life. So I just—I need to know."

"I am moving," she said. When his face fell, she hurried to elaborate. "But just out of my apartment, Jace. I—I'm not leaving the city. And I don't plan to. Ever."

She watched the tension leave his body as he processed her response. "Good. That's good," he said. "Do you know where you're moving yet?"

She shook her head, picking at her nails. "I've just been looking around for now. I've still got some time before I need to make any decisions. I just want something safer and more family friendly than my current place if I'm going to be raising a kid."

"You'll always have a place here. I know you want to be on your own and have some space; I'm not trying to pressure you against that. I just want you to know that you always have somewhere to go."

"I really appreciate that, Jace," she said softly. "Did you just want to talk about me moving, or was there something else?"

"I, uh, heard you're leaving Pandemonium," he said.

"Yeah. I put in my notice. It's not really the type of job I want anymore with the path my life is taking now."

He nodded, bouncing his knee up and down. "Have you thought about what your next move is going to be?"

She shrugged and looked down at her hands. Talking about that part of her life wasn't something she felt like doing, especially with someone as successful as Jace. Even though he had never seemed to judge her, she didn't want to talk about how her options were limited. Without a college and only really having customer service experience, there wasn't much she felt she could do.

"Again, just kinda looking around at the moment. I'm thinking maybe waitressing or retail or something like that."

"Have you—Have you thought about going back to school?"

Letting out a scoff, she lifted her head to look at him. "I'm expecting a baby, Jace. I don't think going back to college is in the books for me right now. And that's not even touching on the financials of it." She had money saved away, but not anywhere near enough for college tuition, especially when a baby was about to be thrown into the mix.

"You could always look into doing something online. A degree could really open more doors for you." He took a deep breath. "And if money is an issue, I'd be willing to help you out."

She shook her head vigorously, angered by the fact he would even suggest that. "No. Absolutely not. I don't want handouts, and I don't want to be in your debt."

"It's not a handout, Clare," he said. "It's an investment in your future and, by extension, our future. I'm serious about fixing things with you, and once they are, I fully intend on marrying you. And then, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine."

Her heart fluttered at the thought of marriage, but she gave him a level look. "We can talk about me going back to school when that happens, then. But not right now."

One corner of his mouth lifted up. "So what I'm hearing is that it will happen."

She knew she still wanted a future with Jace, but she hadn't meant to make that known yet. He still had a lot of making up to do.

"It might," she said, forcing her voice to sound casual. "Anything's possible."

* * *

Clary laid back on the exam table, Jace's hand clutched tightly in hers. The sound of a swooshing heartbeat filled the room, and Jace squeezed Clary's hand as his eyes stared at the grainy black and white image on the screen. Clary had only glanced at the screen before focusing on Jace's expression. His eyes were wide and shined with unshed tears.

"We're having a baby," he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

"We're having a baby," she parroted, her own tears sliding down her face. Actually having him there with her as they looked at the life growing within her brought up emotions she hadn't experienced before during her appointments. There was just something different about sharing the experience with another person, especially when that person helped created that life.

"I mean, I _knew_ we were having a baby," he said, "but it seems so much more real now."

She nodded, familiar with the feeling. She didn't say anything, though, and the doctor took the silence as an invitation to start speaking. He told them that everything was looking good and like it should be. He also mentioned that they should be able to learn the sex at her next appointment. After he was done, he told her to take her time cleaning up and getting dressed and reminded her to make another appointment on her way out.

Once the doctor was gone, Clary let go of Jace's hand so she could get ready to leave. In her peripheral, she saw Jace try to discreetly wipe at his eyes.

"They usually give me a disc of the sonogram after each appointment, if you want it," she said as she righted her shirt.

"That'd be great. Thanks," he replied, standing up.

She started to move to the door, but he moved in front of her. She looked up at him with a questioning gaze, but he just stared at her for a moment, seeming to be debating something internally. He finally reached forward slowly and gently took her face in his hands.

"You can say no, and I'll leave it alone. I'll go at whatever pace you want. I will spend the next fifty years doing nothing but hold your hand if that's where you want to draw the line. But fuck, Clare, I want to kiss you so bad right now. Can I?"

She searched his eyes and found nothing but pure, unhindered love reflecting in them. Her heart hammered in her chest, and a small yes escaped her lips. He immediately covered her mouth with his, and she felt a familiar warmth spread throughout her body.

The kiss was short and sweet, but it still left her breathless. Part of her hated that her body had such an innate reaction to him. The other part of her loved it.

He pulled back and grinned at her. "Thank you."

She just nodded dumbly at him, trying to figure out how a simple kiss could still have such a big effect on her. He grabbed her hand, and they made their way back to the reception desk. Like she had said, there was a disc waiting for them, and Clary handed it to Jace. The receptionist asked what date and time would work for her next appointment, and Clary looked at Jace.

"What would be best for you?" she asked.

His eyes widened slightly. "You want me to come?"

It was a completely different experience having him with her, and she didn't want to give that up. She also didn't want him to miss out on anything, and if they could find out the sex at the next one, she definitely wanted him with her. "Yeah. You're the father, and I just thought you'd want to. I mean, I kind of want you there, but if you don't—"

"No, I want to," he said cutting her off. "Pick whatever's best for you and I'll make sure I'm there, okay?"

She set it up and asked for an extra appointment card to give to Jace. He took the small piece of paper from her before taking her hand in his again. They stepped out into the muggy New York air and began the walk to where Jordan was in a car waiting for them.

"Are you hungry?" he asked as they got in the car. "We could stop for lunch or something."

She was hungry, but she was also exhausted and the last thing she wanted to do was deal with any sort of lunch rush. "Rain check? I kinda just want to go home."

He looked slightly crestfallen but nodded. "Sure. Um, there's something I need to talk to you about. Do you think I could come over for a bit?"

She bit back a sigh. Not that long ago she had been begging him to talk to her, but now she couldn't seem to get him to stop wanting to talk. All she wanted to do was go home and take a nap. "Can it wait? I'm really tired," she said, a small whine in her voice.

"It could, but it's about Raphael and Valentine. I think it would be best to talk sooner rather than later."

An unsettling feeling took up residence in her stomach. "Yeah, okay, you can come over."

"I'll make it quick. I promise."

It wasn't long before they pulled up outside her building and Jace was following her into her apartment. She offered him something to drink, but he politely declined as he sat down on her couch. She took a seat next to him, and he placed a hand on her knee.

"Remember how I told you Raphael and Valentine were being interrogated, and that's how we got all the information on what happened?"

"Yeah."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "Well, it turns out all that information came solely from Valentine. He took a deal with the prosecution and confessed to get a lighter sentence."

Her brow furrowed. "Okay. That's good, isn't it? He'll still get jail time and everything, right?"

"Yeah. Valentine's going to go to prison. But Raphael is claiming he's not guilty, which means his case is going to go to trial."

She felt her stomach knot up. "But how? If Valentine confessed everything then how can Raphael say he didn't do anything? He pulled a gun on me in front of a party full of people for God's sake!"

Jace squeezed her knee. "I know, Clare. There's no way a jury isn't going to find him not guilty, and I think he knows it, too."

"Then why is he even bothering with it?"

"To play mind games." He swallowed hard. "There's a good chance you're going to get called on to testify, Clare. You were there when CeeCee was taken and you were the one he aimed a gun at."

"That's not too bad," she said. "All I'd have to do is explain what happened both nights."

He grimaced. "Not exactly. Both sides know about your relationship with him, and I doubt either of them are going to play nicely with it. The prosecution has connected the dots with your medical history during the time you were together, and they're probably going to dredge that up to give him a negative character. I have no idea what the defense has up their sleeve, but I bet Raphael is planning something to try to humiliate you in front of that room full of people. He wants to hurt you, Clare."

Her chest tightened and she suddenly found it difficult to get enough air in her lungs. "I—I can't do that, Jace."

"If they call on you, you won't have a choice," he said softly. He removed his hand from her knee and instead took bother her hands in his. "But I will be there every step of the way and I already have my legal team talking with the prosecution trying to make sure certain lines aren't crossed, but they can't guarantee anything."

Anxiety was burrowing its way into her chest, but she was able to acknowledge his statement with a small tilt of her head. "Is there anything else?" she asked. "I was serious about being tired, and I would like to lie down." That was even more true now.

"No, that was it," he said, standing and pulling her up with him. "I just wanted to let you know and give you plenty of time to prepare."

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"I'll leave and let you rest," he said. "But let me know if you need anything, even if it's only to talk."

"Okay, I will," she responded, offering him a weak smile.

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug and kissed her forehead before leaving. She locked the door behind him and went straight to her bedroom. She changed out of her clothes and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a tank before climbing into bed.

She pulled to covers up over her head and folded herself into a fetal position. Jace's words weighed heavily on her mind. She had thought that everything with Raphael had been put behind her when he was arrested, but he just couldn't let her go. She was beginning to question if she would ever really be free of him.

Trying to push thoughts of trials and Raphael out of her head, she buried her head into the mattress and willed sleep to overtake her.

* * *

A knock sounded at the door, and she quickly took one last look at herself in the mirror. Her hair fell in soft, frizz-free curls around her face and she had minimal makeup on to highlight her natural features. A spaghetti strapped dress hugged her body, showing off her small bump, and fell about midthigh. She smoothed out the charcoal grey material, then mentally chastised herself for fretting over her appearance.

It was just Jace. He had turned her rain check on lunch into a dinner date. They had been on plenty of dates before, and she knew there was no reason for her to try to impress him. But it was also their first date since everything happened, and part of her felt the need to try to make the occasion more special.

She opened the apartment door to find him standing on her doorstep in a pair of slacks and a dark blue button down. His eyes roamed over her body as he stepped into her apartment. He placed a kiss on her cheek before moving his lips to her ear.

"You are absolutely stunning," he whispered before stepping back.

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks and mumbled a thanks to him.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah, just let me grab my things," she said.

After grabbing her purse and slipping her phone into it, she followed Jace outside. They got into his car, and he reached over the center console to hold her hand as he started driving.

"I'm really glad you agreed to this," he said, his gaze focused on the road in front of him.

"I've never been one to turn down a free meal," she joked.

He glanced at her, the corner of his mouth lifting. "Awfully presumptuous of you to think I'm paying."

She laughed, turning her head to look at him. "I have it on good authority that you, like a gentleman, always offer to pay."

"I might have to start mixing things up, then."

"You can mix things up as much as you want," she said. "As long as you start _after_ tonight."

"Hmm. I'll keep that in mind." He lifted her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles.

He pulled into a parking spot outside of a small, brick building and shut off the car. He was out of the car and opening Clary's door before she even had her seatbelt undone. They walked into the restaurant, his hand on the small of her back.

Behind the unassuming brick exterior was a small, dimly lit Italian restaurant. Jace gave the hostess behind the podium his name, and they were led to a small round table near the middle of the room. The hostess placed their menus on the table before lighting a candle that sat in the center. She left, letting them know their server would be right with them.

"This is nice," Clary noted as she opened the menu, surprised to find everything was English _and_ that the menu items actually had their prices next to them.

"I know you're not a big fan of the flashy restaurants, so I wanted to choose something more in the middle," he said, picking up his own menu. "I've been here a few times in the past. It's family owned and might just be the best Italian food I've ever had."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, biting back a smile. "Better than Olive Garden?"

He gasped dramatically. "You did not just say that, Clary. Mentioning you-know-what in an Italian restaurant is like saying Macbeth in a theater."

A giggle escaped her as she looked at him over her menu. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"You're the ridiculous one for comparing _Olive Garden_ to authentic Italian food."

She shrugged, a smile playing at her lips as she looked back at the menu. "I like their breadsticks."

He rolled his eyes, but before he could make a rebuttal, their waiter appeared. They placed their orders, Jace declining a bottle of wine for the table. They chatted throughout the meal, and Clary was glad they were able to easily slip back into the way they had been. The only other times they had been together they either had CeeCee as a buffer were having a very serious conversation. She had been worried about the date being terribly awkward, but they were able to talk about menial things and joke around like before.

They were waiting for dessert when Jace's phone pinged with a text, and he quickly glanced at it. He released a small grown and ran a hand through his hair. His eyes settled on hers, an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm really sorry, but Imogene is having some trouble with CeeCee, and I need to—"

Clary put up a hand, cutting him off. "Don't apologize," she said. "Let's go."

They gathered their things and Jace threw a few bills down on the table before they made a hasty exit. Clary chewed on her thumbnail as she sat in the passenger seat of Jace's car on the way to his apartment. Her mind was running a million miles a minute. Jace glanced at her a few times before speaking and breaking the silence.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" he asked.

"When you say Imogene's having trouble with CeeCee, what do you mean?" she asked.

He didn't say anything at first, and she was about to say something when he finally spoke. "She, uh, she has nightmares. I've been taking her to a therapist, and it's helped some, but it's still a little hit or miss if I'm not there when she goes down, whether it's for a nap or for bed."

"Oh," she said meekly, a wave of guilt hitting her.

She had spent so much time going on about how much she cared about CeeCee, yet she hadn't known this important detail. She had focused on making sure CeeCee was physically okay, but she had never paused to make sure she was doing okay emotionally and mentally. She had never really taken the time to ask about how CeeCee was adapting. She realized she hadn't even asked about what happened to her.

She swallowed thickly, her eyes glued to a speck on the passenger window. "What—What did he do to her?"

"Nothing," Jace said quickly. "Well, obviously not _nothing_ , but he didn't hurt her or anything. He wasn't a complete piece of shit apparently. All he did was tell her that he was Daddy's friend and they were going to play for a bit. I guess all she did while there was play and watch TV and stuff. The nightmares are coming from the physical act of being taken and the fact that she couldn't see or talk to me when she wanted and needed to. We're working on getting her to understand that that's not going to happen again."

Clary didn't say anything, her throat tightening and eyes burning with tears. She felt so terrible for not knowing any of that. This wasn't even an instance where she wanted to blame Jace. She'd technically never taken the initiative to ask. It had never crossed her mind to ask. The few times she'd been near CeeCee, the little girl had seemed completely fine. Clary felt like she should have known better. She wasn't around CeeCee all the time, and it had been naïve to think that she came out of the whole experience A-Okay.

She sniffled a little as Jace pulled into the parking garage. She hoped he hadn't heard it, but he asked her what was wrong once the car was no longer moving. She just shook her head at him, telling him they'd talk later.

Inside the apartment, CeeCee was sitting on the couch in a pair of pajamas. Her face was streaked with tears as a cartoon played on the television. A very distraught Imogene hovered near by.

The second Clary and Jace walked in, CeeCee jumped off the couch yelling "Daddy!" She ran over, throwing her little arms around his legs. He bent over to pick her up and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"And Miss Clary!" CeeCee added, noticing her standing there. Her arms stretched out toward Clary, and Jace passed her over.

"Hey, sweet girl," she said, using one hand to hold her up and the other to push some hair out of CeeCee's face.

"Did you have a bad dream again?" Jace asked, placing a hand on her cheek.

She nodded, tears immediately springing to her eyes. "I couldn't find you, and then I woke up and you weren't here," she cried out.

Jace wiped the tears from her face. "But I'm here now. Would you like me to tuck you back in?"

"Can Miss Clary do it?" she asked, wrapping her arms around Clary's neck.

Clary froze at her question, unsure of what to do. She looked over at Jace, who was smiling softly at them.

"Of course," he said, taking his hand from CeeCee's face. "I'll just wait out here."

Clary walked CeeCee to the bathroom first. She took a wet washcloth and cleaned the salty water from CeeCee's cheeks. She then went to CeeCee's room, gently placing her on her bed. "Do you want to talk more about your dream?" she asked, pulling the blanket up to CeeCee's chin.

Her head moved left to right and back again. "No," she said, her bottom lip trembling. "Will you sing me a song?"

"Of course, sweet girl."

Clary sang through _The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers_ , which only left CeeCee a giggling mess. She moved on to _Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_ , and CeeCee just ended up singing along. Clary's next move was to sing a song she had heard on the radio recently, and it didn't take long for CeeCee to fall asleep.

Carefully moving herself off the bed, Clary dropped a kiss to CeeCee's forehead before exiting. Jace wasn't in the living room where she had left him, but she quickly found him in the kitchen. He was leaning against one of the counters, a glass of water next to him.

"Hey," he said when she entered. "Sounds like you two were having a lot of fun."

She rolled her eyes, leaning on the counter that was opposite of him. "She wanted me to sing her a song, and it took me a few tries to get her to sleep."

He chuckled. "That sounds about right when it comes to songs. I always try to convince her to do a story instead," he said, picking up his glass and taking a drink. "So, do you wanna tell me what that was in the car earlier?"

She looked at his chest, not meeting his eyes. "It was nothing."

"Clary," he drawled.

"Jace," she mimicked.

He reached over so his fingertips touched her hand. "What happened to not keeping secrets?"

She pursed her lips, annoyed that he had a point. She couldn't expect him to be open and honest if she wasn't willing to do it in return.

"Talk to me, Clare."

"I never asked how she was," she said. "I made sure that I saw she really was home and safe, but I left it at that. I never asked what happened or how she was doing now that she's back. How can I say I love her when I didn't worry about any of that? I took everything at face value and didn't try to dive deeper. I should have known she wasn't doing as well as it seemed. I should have been able to sense that."

She was in tears again by time she finished, heavy sobs wracking her body. Jace didn't hesitate to pull her to him, letting her bury her face into his shirt. He combed his hand through her hair, making shushing noises until she finally calmed down.

He ran a hand up and down her back as she quieted down. "It's okay, Clare," he soothed. "There's nothing wrong with that. You've had a lot going on, too. And you weren't there, to no fault of your own, when she first came back or when she gave her statement or when she had her first nightmare. There's no way you could have known, and it honestly didn't cross my mind to tell you. I was so focused on having you back in our lives, and I didn't think about it."

"But I should have _asked_ ," she said, her voice muffled by his body.

"You couldn't have known to ask, Clary. Any time you've been around her, she's happened to be doing well. There's nothing to feel bad or guilty about."

She turned her head, her cheek resting against him. "How can I be a good mother if I don't just _know_ these things?" she asked, voicing her fears out loud.

He kissed the crown of her head. "Hate to break it to you, but that's not how parenting works. As much as people talk about a mother's intuition, there are going to be a lot of things you won't know about right away. There is no way to just know things."

"I wish there was," she mumbled.

He chuckled lightly. "We all wish that, Clare. And I already told you, you're going to be a great mom. Seeing the way you've been with CeeCee, there's absolutely nothing to worry about." He gently pushed her back just enough to be able to look down at her. His hands cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away the wetness under her eyes. "Are you feeling better now?"

She nodded meekly, looking up at him. "Sorry for breaking down like that. Hormones, I guess."

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad you did. I _want_ to know what you're feeling." He looked above her head and let out a small sigh. "It's kind of late. Do you want to just stay here for the night?"

Her heart screamed yes. She was feeling vulnerable and wanted the comfort of being near Jace. She wanted to be there in case CeeCee had another nightmare and needed someone. She didn't want to go home to a cold and empty apartment.

Her mind told her no, though. They should be taking things slow. She needed her space. She didn't want to fall back into old habits. So, she offered him a sad smile. "I don't think that would be a very good idea, Jace."

He frowned but nodded. "You're probably right. At least let me get someone to take you home?"

She was slightly disappointed that he didn't push the issue, but agreed to a ride, not feeling like taking the subway or dealing with a cab. Jordan took her home, and she immediately stripped down to her underwear and crawled into bed. As she started to drift off, she tried her best to ignore the tug in her chest that made her regret not taking Jace up on his offer.

* * *

 **Sorry I've been MIA. I just graduated and have been struggling through the job search and haven't had much time/emotional energy for writing. I hope to update sooner next time and am looking to have this wrapped up in a few more chapters!**


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